The Next Thing I Knew (Heavenly) (10 page)

"That scares the crap out of me," I said with a shudder.  "I don't want to be trapped in a gorilla for a month."

"Primates are easier but not by much.  Instincts overruled my thinking processes until I grew accustomed to the alien feel of the creatures."

I almost told him about Nick but stopped myself.  Why I felt the need to keep him a secret was beyond me.  Maybe I didn't want Harb to possess him.  Nick was mine and I felt very protective.

"Let me share my knowledge," Harb said and held out his hand.

I took it.  For the first split second of the merge, I felt something akin to lust, anger, and deep sorrow.  Strange thoughts passed into my mind, and the urge to pick insects from Harb's hair almost overwhelmed my rational mind.  Images of gorillas and other primates flashed through my thoughts and embedded themselves in memory as Harb's experiences filled me.  When he released my hand, I felt overstuffed with data.  I also felt outraged at almost everyone.  How could they treat me so unfairly?

But those weren't my feelings, I realized.  Even without a degree in primate psychology, I was pretty sure that the gorillas didn't harbor those feelings.  More than likely, Harb had accidentally transferred some of his hidden feelings to me.  I wondered why he felt that way but decided not to ask.

"You have been hiding something, Lucy," Harb said.

My chest tightened.  "Why would I hide anything?"

Harb's sullen look returned.  He seemed about to say something but jerked his gaze away from mine.  "Never mind," he said.

I wondered if I'd transmitted my own feelings to him.  Even worse, he might have discovered Nick somehow.  I felt stupid for having allowed him to merge without thinking about the reverse aspects of the operation.  If he knew about Nick, he might tell the others.

"Harb, I do have secrets.  We all do.  I have some I don't tell anyone to protect myself."

His face cleared slightly.  "I understand."

"About your idea for gorillas, it's brilliant but it'll be really hard."

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.  "I want you to merge with one.  Tell me what you think."

I approached the same silverback he'd possessed, reached my hand to it, and paused.  I couldn't make myself do it.  Fear locked me in place.  I remembered my first time on the high dive at the pool.  Looking down as my other friends called up to me, "Jump!"  I'd locked up until an older boy came up behind me and pushed me off.  I'd fallen screaming and landed flat on my stomach with a smack.  It had hurt like crazy.

"Don't be frightened," Harb said.  "Do it."

I thought of my times with Nick.  How I'd somehow unconsciously escaped his body those first few times.  I'd be okay.  My own survival instinct had looked out for me.

I pressed my hand into the gorilla's fur.  Relaxed.  Settled myself into its body.  The world fragmented into shards of confusing images.  My consciousness felt squeezed into a tiny box.  I tried to scream.  An alien grunt emerged.

I lost myself to the creature.

I saw black.  At first, I figured I must be unconscious until the blackness moved and my vision focused and resolved it into fur.  I felt at peace, comfortable.  My lips closed around my fingers and smacked.  I bit into something small and crunchy and swallowed it.  My fingers quested in the black fur in front of me until I found an anomaly, some bit of dead skin, I thought.  I put it into my mouth.

Wait, I just put what into my mouth?

I spit whatever it was out.  My thoughts crystallized.  I was still in the gorilla.  I turned my head and saw a baby gorilla sitting atop my shoulder, grooming my furry head.  I jerked my hands back and stumbled to my feet, shambled across the grass on all fours while the little gorilla on my shoulder, a nonplussed look on its tiny face, continued to pick bugs and God knew what else from my fur.  I tried to walk on two legs but it felt awkward.  The bend of my back pressed me back down on all fours.

I grunted.  Looked around.  Harb was nowhere to be seen.  I opened my mouth to speak and chuffed out a few syllables of nonsense.  Just for the heck of it, I stood on two legs, beat my chest and roared.  It sounded awesome.  Maybe not as awesome as a bear, but enough to scare the crap out of the baby gorilla on my shoulder.  He hopped off and scampered away.

How cool was that?  I was a freaking ape.  A big hairy scary gorilla with powerful arms, legs, and, I glanced down--all the other hairy parts were there too.  I didn't feel like checking that out though.  My human side shuddered at the thought of touching certain parts of this beast, but my human side also enjoyed the sheer majesty of this mighty animal.

"I am gorilla, hear me roar," I shouted, or at least tried to.  Instead, I roared again causing a flock of birds to burst from the tree above me in a cloud of brown feathers.

Then reality set in with a solid thump and my spirits sank.  Fear dragged my spirits even lower.  How long had I been in this ape?  I shuddered at the thought of the time that might have passed, especially while aliens devoured the city.  No matter how powerful this body felt, it was no match for the technology they possessed.  I wanted out.  I tried to flit free but the flesh held me tight.  I tried to remember what Harb had imparted to me before the merge.  It was all about relaxing.  With great difficulty, I forced myself to relax and not fight the body.  After a moment or two, something gave way, like a million little latches springing loose and I was able to drift free.

The gorilla jerked its head around with an almost human expression of panic on its face.  It ran on all fours back toward a small flock of females and sat in the middle of the group.  He grunted at them.  One of the females turned and started grooming my former host.  He calmed down quickly.

Pfft.  Males, they're so easy.

I called Harb.  He flitted to me a few seconds later.

"You're back," he said.

"How long was I in that thing?"

"A day."

"Thank goodness it wasn't longer.  Weren't you a little worried?  I lost every shred of rational thought while I was in that beast.  What if it'd killed me?"

"I knew it wouldn't.  You have a strong spirit, Lucy."

More like stupid, but I wasn't going to voice that.  "Look, Harb, this gorilla thing is cool and all, but how's it supposed to help us against gargantuan bugs and slimy aliens who probably have laser guns?"

"We'll have control of the physical world again.  We'll be able to affect their mechanisms and sabotage them."

"Like gorilla warfare?"  I laughed and heard a hint of hysteria creep into my voice.  I hoped my little stint in the beast hadn't knocked a few wires loose.  Well, a few more wires loose anyway.

The joke was lost on Harb.  "Exactly.  We discover what makes the creatures tick and then we make our move."

I glanced around, taking a rough count of the apes.  Maybe fifteen adults, twenty if you counted the babies.  Harb seemed to know what I was thinking.

"There are more primates we can use from other exhibits."

"This means we need to train a lot of others to help.  How many will be up to it?"

"That is where you come in.  They won't listen to me.  They don't take me seriously."

"And you can teach them all?"

"Same as I taught you.  Plus, you have had experience."

I must have looked startled because he raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.  You know you can trust me, my friend."  He put a solid emphasis on that last word and I wondered what might happen if something changed between us.  Harb looked innocent but he had a lot of bad experiences weighing him down, embittering him.  That worried me, but at this point I had no choice.

"Thanks," I said, and decided not to pry into what he knew about Nick.  Could be an awful lot, or might be nothing.  Too late to change that now.

I decided it best to start small and called Kyle, Chris, and Bella.  They showed up a split second later.  They looked awfully pale for ghosts.  Probably worried sick like everyone else that their bodies would be next to get sucked up and crapped out into a glowing cube.

They were obviously worried enough not to argue with me much when I told them Harb's crazy plan.  In fact, they looked amazed.

"Great idea," Chris said and patted Harb on the head.

Harb glowered at him and pulled away.  "I am no child to be patronized."

Chris held his hands up in a defensive gesture.  "Sorry.  It's hard to overcome hardwired reactions.  I forget that you're more mature than you look."

Harb looked at Chris's tall strong frame, almost as if sizing him up.  "Apology accepted."  He glanced at a female gorilla that had wandered close to us.  "I will merge with you and show you how this is done.  Unfortunately the process may take time, so it's vital we start now."

Harb did with my friends as he'd done with me.  Chris's face went white after Harb merged with him.  I bit back a cry of concern.  The same thing had happened to me.  Chris would be okay.  I hoped Harb didn't somehow send him those memories of mine regarding Nick.  The thought made me shiver with cold nausea.

After they'd been indoctrinated, Kyle gave me an angry look.  "You knew about merging all this time and didn't tell us about it?"

"I promised Harb I wouldn't tell anyone."

"I thought we were friends, Luce.  Best friends.  What the hell?"  His face shifted from anger to sadness.

I felt horrible.  "You remember all the secrets you told me growing up?  Remember all the times I kept my mouth shut even if I thought telling someone would make things better?  I kept my promises to you, Kyle.  I had to keep them for Harb, and I'd do it for anyone else."

His expression softened and he nodded.  "This is so important to us, to our survival.  It would've helped to know sooner."

"I didn't know this was going to happen," I said.

"People are dying out there, Lucy," Bella said, her voice rising.  "They're dying and you could've done something about it.  How can you live with that?  All those deaths are on your head."

My bottled fury popped a cork and words spilled out of me.  "I'm not living with it, in case you hadn't noticed.  We're already dead you idiot!  How was I supposed to know?"  Tears pooled in my eyes and I stalked away to hide behind a tall bush.  I didn't want to see any of them.  I didn't want them to see me.

Strong arms circled around my shoulders.  I turned and wept into Chris's shirt.

"I didn't know," I said.  "I didn't know it could help."

"It's okay, babe.  It's not too late.  We'll beat this thing."

Empty as the words were, I felt a little better.  I still didn't have much faith in Harb's plan to use gorillas.  I had to do something, anything to make up for this.  Maybe I could grab King Kong again and sabotage the aliens myself.  More likely, I'd just get shot or eaten.  I wondered what would happen to me if my host died.  I might die forever.  If the aliens got to my house before we did something, I'd be dead anyway.

"You'd better go take over an ape," I said.  "It took me a while to get the hang of it."

Chris tried to give me a kiss, but I pecked him on the cheek and walked back to the group.  Bella and Kyle had already merged.  Their respective apes were dancing and staggering around like someone was jerking broken puppets.  It looked horrific.

"What's happening?" I asked Harb.

"You did the same," he said.  "It takes time for the human mind to find space, I think."

"It felt like being crammed in a sardine can."

Chris gave me one last look and merged with a female gorilla.  Soon he was doing the crazy dance.  The other gorillas looked on with what I gathered were curious expressions.  They probably didn't know what the hell was going on.  We humans hadn't treated them well in life and now we were going to use them against their wills.  Probably get most of them killed.  The aliens apparently didn't bear any ill will toward animals.  Just humans.  Considering our track record, I could almost understand.

"I'll be back soon," I told Harb.

"You should merge as well.  You need more experience."

"I'm good I think."

"The more you do it with the same creature, the less time it takes to assimilate.  What took a day will take far less time."

"I'll do it when I come back," I said.  "Won't take long."

I flitted away.  I knew what I had to do.

I hadn't gotten far, however, when my mom called me.  Seeing as I might be dead for real very soon thanks to either giant centipedes or my ridiculous plan, I decided to see her one last time.  I flitted to her.  She hugged me.  A huge crowd had gathered outside Ms. Tate's worship center.  It resembled a massive gothic church now, the kind you'd see in monster films.  These people were crazy.  All they were missing were pitchforks and torches.  I half-expected to see a hunchback atop the bell tower screaming out, "Amen, brother."  I was stupefied to see my Mom anywhere near the place.

"I wanted to say goodbye," she said.

"Goodbye?"

"The creatures are almost to our neighborhood, dear.  It won't be long now.  I thought we would gather the family and be together at the end."

A sick feeling twisted in my belly.  "Mom, you're not going to die.  And why are you here of all places?"

"Your father and I thought it would be nice to be close to others."

"These lunatics?"

A roar went up from the crowd around the building.  Someone screamed.  I shot up into the air and hovered along with several others over the crowd.  A woman stood atop a podium in the center, shouting something.  I went closer.

"I, Elizabeth Jensen, take Jesus as my lord and savior.  May He keep me in His bosom for eternity.  Forgive me for my sins, Lord."  Tears poured down her face and she looked scared to death.  "Please, Lord--"  she wisped out of existence.

Another roar went up from the crowd, shouts of "Amen" and "Lord bless you, child," followed.

I felt sick, frightened, and more than anything, angry.  Angry at these stupid fools for believing they were being saved.

A man flitted from the crowd and grabbed me.  I tried to jerk away, but another set of strong hands fastened to me.  Ms. Tate rose up from the crowd like the Wicked Witch of Polyester and smiled at me.  She was dressed like an evil nanny from Mary Poppins, sans umbrella.  Fear weakened my limbs.

"You've come to be saved, child.  Good.  Go to the baptismal podium and ask for God's mercy."

I tried to flit away but their hold on me prevented me from doing anything.  I tried to shift to Earth, but I couldn't move from their grasp.

"Let me go," I said.  "I'm not here for your stupid church."

Ms. Tate's smug look twisted into a scowl.  "I'll not have you blaspheme, child.  Repent now before the end."

I couldn't believe this was happening.  I could possibly save them all if they'd give me a chance.  For once, I had a plan, damn it.  "Let me go you twisted bitch."

"You're a fool.  You don't know the mercy of the Lord.  This is for your own good."  Ms. Tate motioned to the two men holding me.  "Keep her on the podium until she repents."  Ms. Tate turned to the crowd.  "We have a reluctant soul, brothers and sisters.  Pray for her redemption."

The crowd started chanting, "Repent, repent, repent," over and over again.  Heavenly had turned into a loony bin.

I struggled.  I tried to call for my friends but they didn't answer.  They were merged with the gorillas.  Mom looked on helplessly, pleading in her eyes.  I knew the easy way out would have been to play along, declare my love for God and all that, but it would take too long and besides, I'd rather die than let Ms. Tate win.  If the aliens were really that close to my neighborhood, I didn't have much time.  So I did the only thing I thought might work.

The two men holding me yelped in surprise as I merged with them.  Their yells turned to screams.  Memories flooded into my mind.  I let them flow through without trying to make sense.  It seemed to take forever, but really only took a second before both men let me go and drifted away, pale and listless.  I flipped Ms. Tate off.  The last thing I saw before shifting to Earth was a look of pure hatred on her face.