Authors: Rachel Tafoya
Tags: #vampire, #teen, #young adult, #love and romance, #paranormal romance, #contemporary fantasy, #vampire romance
The sun is climbing over the tops of the buildings when I decide it’s time to go home. I want breakfast, but I spent all the money I had last night.
When I get there, the Night House is different. Usually, the lounge is illuminated by blue fluorescent overhead lights, but they’ve been turned off and instead I see some of Finn’s guys hanging torches on the wall. Actual
torches
.
I must be hallucinating.
That’s when I see Finn. I grab his arm before I remember what’s proper. He turns to me, deep circles under his eyes, with an expression that’s half horror, half pity.
“Good God, what have you done to yourself?”
“What did
I
do?” my voice comes out as a shout and everyone turns to me.
My cheeks heat up, and Finn drags me away. “Get yourself cleaned up, and then I’ll explain. The Night House is having some special guests tonight.”
“Don’t we always?” I ask but instead of an answer, Finn shoves me away. I can take a hint.
The shower welcomes me into its warm, clean embrace. I wish I could stay here all night under the steady drum of the water. But what I want is to be out there, in one of those rooms with an open wound and a starving vamp breathing down my neck.
It’s been two days too long without nauth.
Around noon, I’m dressed and standing in front of Finn again, shivering against the feeling of nothing but blood in my veins. Finn seems utterly exhausted. There are only a few other guys still bumbling around the place like drunks. This is the earliest I’ve seen any of them up. Vamps don’t exactly burst into flames when the sun rises, but they certainly need their beauty sleep.
Finn still looks at me like I have it worse. “Have you been eating properly? You know I stock the kitchen so you girls stay healthy.”
“Who are these special guests?” I ask loudly so he’ll change the subject.
He blinks. “We’re having Jeremiah’s circle visit tonight.”
More terms I don’t know. “I hate talking to you.”
He almost seems smug. “Circles are what you may call our churches.”
“So what does that have to do with the redecorating? It’s like a caveman moved in here.”
Finn sighs at what used to be his customer lounge. Most of the weird decorative pieces, like the paintings and lamps, have been taken down. The long couch that used to sit in the center of the room has been replaced with a large rug and several folding chairs. The hostess desk has also been removed. Four torches have been put up along the walls, the only means of illuminating the room. Any signs of technology have been covered, like the outlets on the walls and the light switches.
“Some of the older circles prefer bare settings. Vampires used to be nomadic, before we settled into cities with the humans. So the circle masters only carry two or three items with them at any one time. They live in the homes of their followers.”
Jeremiah doesn’t strike me as someone who hates excess, but he does seem like the kind of man who would try to stay in the good graces of his religious leader.
“Do you belong to this circle?” I can’t help my curiosity.
The smallest of grins crosses his lips. “I no longer need a circle, now that I have a Night House.”
“What, are we your followers?”
“Not you. Vampires.”
James
When I wake up, it hits me like a ton of bricks.
I lost her.
There is a black hole where she used to be.
I am up long before Shiloh, so I shower and dress before I wake him. Then we join Ally in the kitchen. She is like a bomb about to explode sitting across from me at the table. I don’t know why she’s so upset. I feel like yelling at her, just to yell at someone, when she speaks.
“James, you look really bad.”
I blink. She’s concerned about me? She even said my real name. That’s when I realize; she’s remembering.
“Ally, it’s not like that, I promise.”
She lets out her breath and leans her head on Shiloh’s shoulder. He tenses up.
“I’m sorry, but you just seemed kind of depressed. You haven’t looked like that in a while,” she finishes quietly.
I force a smile. “Don’t worry so much.”
All three of us head outside, the two of them feeling much better than I do. I’m glad they’re not so worried anymore, but their calm only disturbs me more. There should be another feeling. There should be a craving inside me. Could it be that I miss the storm inside that girl?
“Where do you want to go?” Shiloh asks me.
I shrug. “Somewhere busy.”
“How about South Street?”
Our house is only a short walk away from the crowded South Street. It’s the perfect distraction.
We pass by a woman brimming with sadness.
A child goes by with a splinter in his aching hand.
A man talking on his cell phone is overcome with rage that he can’t express.
I can’t help any of them.
We keep walking. I feel like I’m floating down a river. The people around me are pulling me in every direction, beckoning me into their minds. I can feel the emotions around me like wisps of cold or hot air. Most of the people are swallowed in their own business, and they pass me by like ghosts, cold and unwelcoming. They are busy, not feeling much of anything. I try to open myself to this numbness. As soon as I do, I get a rush of giddiness from a group of older girls walking by. It makes my heart race.
I take a deep breath, and the ache in someone else’s legs burns up my calves. That isn’t mine. None of this is mine. What am I feeling? Have I ever felt anything of my own?
They pull me inside one of Ally’s preferred vegetarian places. She gets falafel. I sip water and try to figure out what’s going on in my own head.
“Was this too much?” Shiloh asks.
I turn my gaze to the window, to all the people walking in pairs. “I actually had hope…that someone could tell me what I was feeling…”
Ally touches my back, and I appreciate the contact. “I’m no expert on this, but you’re still my brother. I know you’re torn up about this girl. It’s like you’re grieving for her.”
She stares at me with her big eyes. “Maybe you need to find her again.” There is a spark of hope in her. She wants the girl back, but why?
I turn to Shiloh, because he’s the one who can think for me when I can’t. He’s the one I can rely on.
Shiloh doesn’t meet my gaze. “I don’t know, Jay. Maybe she’s more trouble than she’s worth.”
I want to agree with him, but I can’t shake the feeling that I did something wrong. I want to take it back. Ally’s right. I am grieving for her.
I know I’m going to regret this, but I have to make sure that there’s nothing I can do, that I can’t help her, that I didn’t make a mistake. Last night, I gave up without a fight. I didn’t even
try
. But I owe it to myself, and to her, to actually put myself out there.
Finally, the chatter in my brain dies down and I feel something resembling calm.
I take a forkful of food. Ally relaxes at the sight of me eating.
“You’ll see,” she says. “Even if you fail, it doesn’t matter. It’s the trying part that really feels good.”
I smile at her. “Like trying a new instrument?”
“Yeah.” She brightens up. “When I switched to bass it was like, this feels right. I know I still have my guitar, but now I get to change things up. You know, without going overboard.”
“So if you drop everything and become some kind of wandering minstrel, we’ll know we have a real problem?” Shy jokes, but the worry is still there, hiding under his calm.
Ally laughs, and it’s a good sound. “I can’t write song lyrics, man, you know that.”
He smiles at her. I remember when he tried to explain why he had a crush on her. Shiloh is the reliable guy. The dependable one. He loves Ally’s impulsiveness. Makes him think he can be more creative, like her. He sells himself short, of course. Even though Ally doesn’t admit it, she needs Shiloh to be himself. We both do.
He is our rock.
When the food is eaten, Ally leaves us for Shell’s house. “I owe her an apology for leaving her party so early.”
I hold onto Ally’s relaxed state of mind for as long as I can.
“You really think finding her is a good idea?” Shiloh asks me as we get closer to my house.
“I think…it’s what I want to do,” I tell him.
“You still have hope?” he asks, a bit of a smug smile edging onto his face.
“I have to. Even if she can’t help me. Even if I can’t help her. I have to try something, right?”
He pats me on the back. “Yeah. It’ll make the next time easier.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself.”
Bianca
When night falls, the guests of honor begin to arrive. Jeremiah is one of the first inside. He flashes me an unsettling, handsome smile before greeting Finn. I often wish Jeremiah were ugly. It would make it easier somehow. He disappears down the hallway with another vamp dressed in black robes. I vaguely recognize a few old clients as bodies fill the room, but most of them are strangers. Beautiful, terrifying strangers.
Alex nudges me. “Finn’s got a date.”
I see him talking to a vamp in a white suit. I recognize him: Caesar. We don’t know his real name, but Caesar is what he goes by when he’s pretending to be human. There’s nothing he loves more than reveling in how he’s fooled the human population, how easy it is to infiltrate their systems. Apparently, he holds some position in human government, but part of me thinks he’s all talk. He comes often, and rarely shuts up long enough to actually feed. He enjoys his own voice more than blood.
The real treat is seeing him talk to Finn, or rather seeing him lecture Finn and watching Finn try to get away. Caesar is loud and I watch him clap Finn on the shoulder, barking, “Eh, Finn?” and laughing heartily. His reprieve comes in the form of a female vamp dressed in a gorgeous satiny black gown. She flows into the room and seems to take up much more space than she actually does. Her skin is like alabaster and her hair black as oil. The smile plastered onto her lips is practiced, perfect, sinister. She breaks up their chat instantly, drawing Caesar to her like a magnet.
Soon there are about twenty vamps packed into the guest lounge, with more still coming in. They mingle amongst themselves, chatting, but they also come to stare at us. They examine us, discussing which of us they’d like to feed from.
“This is nuts,” Alex whispers out the corner of her mouth. “Like some kind of movie premiere.”
“I know,” I breathe. “Maybe Dracula will show up.”
She snorts and elbows me. “Or Anne Rice.”
“Nosferatu?”
“The Count, from Sesame Street!” she exclaims and immediately slaps a hand over her mouth. I try not to laugh and wind up pulling a weird face like I just bit into a lemon. Finn walks by and clears his throat pointedly, which only makes it funnier.
The vampire in black robes reenters the lounge. Everyone goes silent. He slowly makes his way to the front of the room seemingly taking in every face that’s watching him, including us humans. When he reaches the head of the crowd, his gaze finds Finn in the back.
“You may escort the humans out now.” His voice easily covers the distance.
Finn gets one of his guys to stand at the entrance to the guest lounge so none of us can get back in. Alex and I stand at the end of the hallway trying to listen in.
“What do you think they’re talking about?” Alex presses her ear against the wall.
I shrug. “Probably which vein yields more blood.”
“Gross.”
My legs ache from the hour spent standing, so I sit on the floor, holding my knees against my chest. I become acutely aware of how many sets of teeth are in the other room. I don’t think I’ve been this close to that many vampires in my life.
“You ever think about leaving?”
Alex’s smile fades. She sinks down beside me. “Every second of every day, Bee.”
She forces her smile back on me, but I can see straight through it. What else could she have said? No, I love it here? I love getting bitten by vampires? I love what I’ve become?
We all know that’s not true.
It’s then that the doors to the Night House are shoved open, letting a cool breeze inside. Finn’s guy straightens up as a scrawny little vamp scurries down the stairs. He wears a rumpled suit much too large for him. The stench that comes off him is putrid.
“Sorry, this is a private event.” The guard steps in front of him.
“Great, great,” the vamp ignores him, staring at us. “I’ll only be a minute.”
“You don’t understand,” the guard rumbles. “You have to leave.”
“No, no, no. Finn knows me. I’m a regular. I just need a little blood, and I’ll be out of your way.”
His eyes twitch. He keeps moving his hands in and out of his pockets and straightening his jacket, which only makes it more wrinkled and ridiculous. He’s a wreck.
Is that how people see me?
The guard’s face deadens as he realizes what he’s dealing with.
Alex leans over to me. “Smell that? It’s garlic, like that other vamp.”
Twitchy’s head snaps up, and he locks eyes with Alex. Just as the guard reaches for his shoulders, he darts past him down the hall and then he’s in Alex’s face.
“You’ll do.” His grubby hands snake out and start wrapping around Alex’s upper arms.
“Don’t touch her.” I shove him, like the idiot I am.
He wheels around on me and pins me against the wall, fangs out, dripping with unused nauth. “You want some too?”
I do. I
really
do.
“That would be a bad idea.”
Jeremiah’s voice. He’s standing behind Twitchy, hand around his throat. Twitchy’s already bloodshot eyes look like they’re going to pop out of his skull. Jeremiah spins him around so he can see his face. Or at least that’s what I thought, but Twitchy takes one look at Jeremiah’s shiny blue pin and pales.
“I didn’t know you were here, sir,” he stammers.
Jeremiah is not pleased. “You will leave this Night House right now, and you will never return. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir,” Twitchy says.
Jeremiah smiles. “Then go.”
Twitchy flies out of the place in a flurry of apologies, more frightened than ever.
“Alex, are you okay?” I touch her shoulders.