The Nine Lives of Felicia Miller (29 page)

Since she had to scare off the demolition crew during the daylight hours, she’d flipped the game rules and gambled on being able to transform back to human form at sundown, rather than sunrise. If that gamble failed she was doomed to spend an extra twelve hours evading the hunters and their dogs, all the while steering them away from the mirror she needed to enable her retransformation.

What if I have to abandon the mirror to save my skin, and somebody finds it? If they take it or break it or even just move it someplace where I can’t find it, I’ll be screwed. Stuck like Granny. Unable to change back.

And what if it gets broken? Then I’m screwed for sure. Permanently.
Dropping her head between her paws she sulked nervously. Realizing she was in double danger if she couldn’t change back.
With the trail I left they’ll know for sure it’s a really big cat they’re hunting. No way they’ll ever give up til they find me.

There’s no way I’ll last more than a few days as a tiger.

The worst case scenario is they’ll shoot me. The best case, that they’ll use tranquilizer darts and I end up in some zoo.

Jesus. I could end up in a captive breeding program.  Getting fucked by a tiger. Ouch. That has to hurt.

Or with Siegfried and Roy… performing tricks for drunken tourists in Vegas.

Ugh. I think I’d rather get fucked by a tiger.

Her senses tingled. A jumble of animal odors filled the air. She realized she wasn’t alone and studied the woods around her. Her tiger eyes saw much more clearly in the shadowy forest than her human eyes ever had.

Several small creatures were gathered around her, peering at her from the relative safety of tree branches or hiding holes.

Their eyes glistened with bright curiosity and wet fear. They seemed to be wondering who the hell this strange massive intruder was… and did she have a taste for their flesh?

Their tiny frightened eyes made her feel alien and vulnerable, and more alone than ever.

If she knew how quickly the hunters were mobilizing, she would have felt even worse.

359

“Twenty thousand,” said Wiley Bohannon firmly into his cell phone. “Five up front. The rest when I bag your cat. Whether it’s a Bengal tiger or just a baby bobcat I want the money guaranteed.”

“Fine. Twenty thousand. Guaranteed. Just get your ass back here now. And bring a gun. A big gun.”

“My gun’s plenty big enough. You just have my contract ready. And the Sheriff there to witness it.”

“If it’s a goddamned Bengal tiger, Bohannon, you should be paying me for the opportunity to bag it.”

“Right,” Bohannon laughed, “I’m sure there’s a Bengal tiger loose in your little village. I was lucky to find that first little bobcat in those woods. And I’ll be hard pressed to find another. But I’ll be there. And you’d better have my check.”

“Just get here. You’ll get your damned money.”

Mandee hung up her phone and took a deep breath, determined not to cave under the pressure she’d been feeling lately.

Her normally iron will had certainly been tested. But so far things were under control. She’d even managed to delay the arrival of her new investors, detouring them to a nearby town with a promise she’d treat them to a fabulous four-star dinner.

It was stretching the truth, to say the least. The nearest four-star restaurant was hundreds of miles away. But it wasn’t the biggest lie she’d ever told to strangers with money.

Despite their wealth, she knew that many investors were yokels at heart, who wouldn’t know the difference between chocolate mousse and instant pudding.

She knew that after a few rounds of top shelf liquor had dulled their taste buds, they’d rave about whatever was on their dinner plates.

And if the food proved too bland for their provincial palates, her low cut top and ribald jokes would add some needed spice to their evening.

359

Back in the middle of the forest, Felicia gazed resolutely into her mirror. The tiger face staring back at her was beautiful, but she could barely endure looking at it for one more second.

Please God make this happen. Please change me back to my normal human self.

Mention of the Deity, even in her thoughts, made her strangely more anxious. She hadn’t been raised in a strict religious setting, but had been exposed to the rants of televangelists and the hellfire pronouncements of Fundamentalist classmates like Helen Blanton. Whenever she felt guilty about something she’d said or done, she wondered if maybe her upbringing had been too liberal, depriving her of some key secret in life and dooming her to suffer at the hand of an angry god.

Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live. That’s what it says in the Bible, isn’t it?

Yeah. But think of all the other crazy shit it says. Stuff about food you can’t eat and killing gays and people who work on the Sabbath. It’s just archaic propaganda that once served a political purpose. Crazy irrelevant nonsense.

But her self-assurance faded as the sun started setting. Her worries outweighed her confidence. She’d had some doubts about the existence of God before… but she also never believed in magic. And now that she knew magic existed, her other doubts seemed foolish.

Please work. Please… God… I may not be the most devout person on the planet… but I try to be good… in my own way.

The prayer once again stoked her guilt.

Vengeance is mine, sayeth the Lord. But you my dear have been wreaking revenge on your own. Instead of waiting for karma to run its course.

Yeah, but who’s to say God doesn’t want me to do it? Why would he or she let Granny rescue me and get me started down this path, if it’s not what he or she wanted? Maybe I was chosen as the instrument of karma. To free our town from Wally and his crew.

That idea helped ease her mind, so she clung to.

Whatever’s going to happen will happen. All I can do is try. And hope.

She stared into the mirror, refusing to blink. Appreciating the irony of feeling her most vulnerable in her most powerful state. But she knew she’d appreciate it more if she were human again.

Darkness closed slowly around her. The leaves of the trees turned from green to gray and then black as the curtain of night descended.

Felicia gazed into the darkening mirror glass.

Two glowing amber eyes stared back.

Panic flashed through her like a low voltage shock.

It’s not working,
she thought.
I’m not changing back!

An involuntary growl rolled from her throat. A tiger’s frightened moan.

Barking dogs sounded in the distance.

Shit.

The sun had fully set, and there was no sign she was changing. The dogs were drawing near. Too near for comfort.

Felicia waited a few more seconds, hoping the transformation would start. Then she gave up and ran off through the woods, moving straight towards the barking hounds.

Her goal now was to steer them away from the mirror. To get their attention and lead them as far away from her mirror as she could, before some hunter stumbled upon it.

I have to keep moving… stay alive until dawn. If I can just make it back to the mirror in one piece as the sun comes up…

And what if I don’t change then?

The powerful cat felt a kittenish pang of fear… but sucked it up and hurried along her way. She had to keep moving to have any chance at all to survive.

359

Wiley sat in the passenger seat of his Rover, checking his emails on his ipad. His assistant Billy Roy drove. In the back seat was Wiley’s beloved Browning BLR, loaded with 450 Marlins. A gun designed for fast accurate shooting, chambered for big game. He’d reworked the trigger so its pull matched his own lightning reflexes, and kept it “cleaner than a virgin’s asshole” as he liked to boast. It had never yet let him down, even when a rogue lion almost took him by surprise in the tall grass of the African savannah.

“You think there really is a tiger out here, boss?” Billy asked, wide-eyed and hopeful.

“Not unless there’s a zoo somewhere that I don’t know about. One that doesn’t keep track of its animals. Or some asshole rock star with too much money and too little brains.”

“Rock star?”

“Rock star. Rap star. Or just some run-of-the-mill wealthy asshole. You know how many idiots keep big jungle cats for pets in this country? Last I heard there were at least twenty thousand. And a dozen or so manage to escape every year. If they’re lucky, they get to kill their owners on their way out the door, and at least taste a bit of sweet revenge before they’re hunted down.”

The Rover rolled up outside Granny’s house. Wiley frowned as he caught sight of her lawn. It was a virtual parking lot, crammed with SUVs and pickups and a few vintage stationwagons. Hunters were piling out of the vehicles, armed with rifles and hunting bows, eager silhouettes in the headlights.

“Oh shit,” Wiley exhaled. “I told that bitch I wanted a clear field. Not a bunch of half-assed locals getting in my way.”

Wiley stepped from his vehicle and scanned the crowd for a sign of Mandee.
I need to put my foot down before this gets out of control.
Even with such short notice, Wiley had planned his hunt carefully, even recruiting his own dog handler, Ruby Koch, trusting that her brindled curs would move quicker and track cleaner than the local dogs had on the previous hunt. She was the first person to greet him on the scene.

“Hey there, Wiley Coyote,” Ruby said cheerfully. “What’s on the menu tonight?”

“Tiger.”

“Tiger? Tiger what? Tiger lily?”

“Bengal tiger.”

Ruby laughed out loud.

“I’m not joking,” Wiley said. “According to the locals a full size Bengal tiger came out of that very cabin this afternoon.”

“You’re shittin’ me, right? A tiger? Really? I think someone’s been putting hooch instead of milk in their frosted flakes.”

“I’m just telling you what they told me. Big-assed Bengal tiger, stripes and all. They claim that the last time they saw it, it was sitting on the front of that there bulldozer, eyeballing the operator inside.”

“You dragged me two hundred miles to chase a friggin’ tiger? I hope you gave the witnesses drug tests before you made the call.”

“Calm down, Ruby. All we have to do is bag any wildcat we find and a nice fat bonus check is yours. And this should cover your expenses in any case.” He handed her a check. She seemed pleased when she saw the amount. “All your hounds need to do is find me some kind of wildcat. Anything bigger and meaner than Garfield will do.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Time is money.” She gave a sharp whistle and her dogs leapt from the back of her vehicle, tails wagging, ready and eager to hunt. “And we better hurry up. I saw a bunch of locals with their dogs heading off in the woods when I got here. They’ve got a headstart.”

Mandee approached Wiley as he buckled on his ammo belt. She was dressed for dinner, in a low cut designer dress and heels.

“Oh there you are,” Wiley said. “I hope you brought my money.”

“Here’s your starter check, Bohannon. And your damned contract.”

Wiley took the contract and started reading.

“It’s just as you required,” Mandee assured him. “I’m not about to screw you, I have enough to worry about as is. The last thing I need is you badmouthing me on some late night talk show.”

Bohannon snorted a laugh as he scribbled his signature and pocketed the check. “Thank you, Ms. Madisson. And might I add you look lovely tonight.”

“Save it, Romeo. I have to leave for an important meeting. You have my cell number. Call me as soon as you have some news. And get that cat… or I’ll be hunting you.”

Wiley looked around at the flock of local hunters. “Who are all these jokers?”

“Hunters. They can help you beat the bushes.”

“I thought I made it clear that I don’t want a bunch of amateurs bumbling around out there, spooking whatever the hell it is I’m supposed to be hunting before I can get near it. Hunting a cat at night is tricky enough.”

“But—“

“But nothing. This is my hunt. You want that cat tonight or not?”

“Alright, I’ll talk to them. But I can’t guarantee they’ll listen. Some are already out in the woods. Don’t worry. I’ll still honor your contract if one of them beats you to the punch.”

Wiley frowned but knew he was powerless to stop the locals if they wanted to hunt in their woods. It’d be foolish to rile some fanatic and risk incurring a “hunting accident” on their turf.

Pumping the lever on his rifle he went to join Ruby and her dogs, who were excitedly sniffing and dancing around the bulldozer.