The Nines (The Nines #1) (12 page)

Detective Silvers raises an eyebrow. “The feeling isn’t mutual?”

I want to tell him that I like someone else, but I’m sure they’d want to know who and I can’t have Alexander involved in any way. 

“I told you I consider Hector a friend. I like him as a friend.”

That makes the detectives glance at each other again.

“Were Claire and Hector friends?” Detective Roan asks.

“We were all friends.” My voice is starting to give out. I don’t want to talk to these guys anymore, but they don’t seem like they’re ready to leave.

Detective Roan’s eyes search mine. “Just a few more questions and then we’ll be out of your hair. “Did Claire tell you where she was going?”

I shake my head. “We didn’t see each other that much. We had classes at different times. And she spent a lot of her free time with Julio.”

So far all of the questions have been centered on Julio and Hector and I don’t like it. It sounds like they’ve made them prime suspects. I need to find a way to get the Zeta party into the conversation. Then I remember the invitation.

“When I started to get worried about Claire being gone I looked through the papers on her desk.” I point to the pile of papers. “I saw an invitation. For a secret sorority party. THE NINES”

I remove the invitation from my pocket and hand it to Detective Roan. He glances at it and hands it to Detective Silvers.

“Was she considering joining the sorority?” Detective Roan asks.

I shake my head. “She wasn’t into that. But there was a girl she knew from high school. Wendi. She wanted to go. Claire might have gone with her just so she wouldn’t have to go alone.”

“If you think of anything else please call us.” Detective Roan rises and Detective Silvers follows his lead.

They turn to leave then Detective Roan turns back around and says, “Just one more thing. Why did you have that invitation in your pocket?”

I swallow and try to think of a quick excuse. It was in my pocket to show Alexander, but I obviously can’t say that. “I wanted to show it to Heather, but when she told us not to worry about Claire, I forgot about it.”

He nods, but I can see the wheels spinning. I’m not sure he quite believes everything I’m saying.

“We obtained permission from Claire’s parents to seize her computer and documents from her desk. Our forensics team is waiting outside to gather the evidence. Once they’re through Claire’s parents can sort through the rest of her belongings. Do you have somewhere to go while the evidence is being gathered?”

I nod, although I’m not exactly sure where I should go. I know where I want to go. I want to see Alexander. Is it wrong for me to want him to hold me in his strong arms again?

I feel so much guilt about what happened to him. I know I didn’t have any control over my brother’s actions, but was there something I missed? Could I have stopped him? Those questions will haunt me forever.

But first I need to talk with Julio and Hector. I need to find out what they’ve told the police.

***

I barely have a chance to knock when Julio opens his door. He looks even worse than the last time I saw him. Not that I look any better. When I glanced in the mirror before I left my room I noticed my eyes were swollen from crying and that my nose was bright red and flaking from blowing it so much. I didn’t have the energy to correct either problem.

When Julio moves aside so I can step into his room I see Hector sitting on his bed staring at the wall. He doesn’t even notice me he’s so deep in his own thoughts.

“Have the police questioned you yet?” Julio asks.

I nod. “They’re collecting evidence. Claire’s computer and her papers. I gave them the invitation. Told them about the party.”

Julio runs a hand through his already disheveled hair. The gesture makes it worse. “We have to tell them about the Delta Omega Gammas. The questions the police asked us…it was almost like they thought we did it.”

I shake my head. “The frat boys are going to try to cover up their involvement. They can use each other as alibis.”

Julio’s face grows even more serious, darker than I have ever seen it. “They killed Claire. They can’t get away with it.”

“I know.”

“Maybe your boyfriend can do something about this completely screwed up mess.” Hector sounds bitter and it unnerves me.

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

When I look over at Hector his eyes bore into me. “You don’t? You could have fooled me.”

“I really don’t think this is the time to get into it.”

“He’s a criminal,” Hector seethes through clenched teeth.

I take in a deep breath and try to control my anger before I respond. “That criminal is the reason we found Claire. He put himself on the line to help us. He didn’t have to do that. He didn’t have to risk everything to find Claire, but he did.”

Hector jumps from the bed so fast it scares me. Before I know it he’s closed the distance between us. His eyes narrow and his mouth becomes a thin angry line. He glares at me for a long moment as if he’s trying to decide whether he wants to continue. Then he says, “He didn’t risk everything just so we could find Claire. He did that for you. He did that because he wants you. He would do anything to have you. I just didn’t think that you’d want him too.”

I don’t like seeing this side of Hector. I know he’s hurt, but he’s also saying things out of anger, which is generally never a good idea. That’s how regrets are born.

I try to respond with as much kindness as I can. “There are things you don’t know about me. Alexander and I have a connection from our past. It’s a strange, twisted connection and it’s one that neither of us expected. That’s all I can tell you.”

Hector seems to want to say more, but then he just shakes his head instead.

When I glance back at Julio he’s seated with his hands over his face and he’s trying to control his sobs.

“It comes in waves,” Hector says. “He’ll be fine for a few minutes. Then he starts crying again.”

“I’ve been doing the same thing,” I admit.

“Are you going to see him?” Hector’s voice breaks and it tugs on my heartstrings. I never meant to hurt him.

I nod.

“We need to find a way to get those guys,” Hector declares. “They need to pay for what they did to Claire. Justice needs to be served.”

“No.” When Julio looks up tears are streaming down his face. “Not justice. I want revenge.”

***

Alexander opens the door before I even knock.

“Were you waiting for me?”” I ask as I enter the living room.

“Maybe.” He’s good at giving non-answer replies.

“Do I look as bad as I feel?”

This time he doesn’t even bother with a verbal response. He’s already good at reading my mind, or at least my desires, because he closes the distance between us and takes me into his strong arms.

And I melt into them until I’m nothing but gelatin being completely held in place by his force.

As much as I don’t want him to let me go I know we need to talk. “I was questioned by the police. So were Julio and Hector. The police seem to think they’re suspects. We can’t allow that to happen.”

When Alexander looks into my eyes I know Hector is right. I see so much desire, and so much adoration, it’s a bit unnerving. I know he would do anything for me, but I also know there are things I could never ask him to do. I won’t do anything that could put him in danger or at risk. I’m starting to care about him as much as he seems to care about me.

He swallows and then grabs my shoulders. “I found a few more things I need to tell you about. I know they’re going to upset you. I just wanted to warn you.”

“Okay.” I try to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for whatever he’s got to show me.

“Let’s go back to my office.”

We both sit down at his largest desk. “The two guys who drugged Claire. I found out who they are. Mercer Williams and Colby Jackson. They’re both juniors at the university, and apparently this isn’t their first time at this particular rodeo.”

I raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“They’ve drugged a lot of girls, but there was one girl, Sheila Sheppard, who had to be hospitalized. She nearly died. That was last year. She never came back to school. Call it a hunch, but I think she was paid off. Not long after she got out of the hospital she purchased a very expensive beach house in Malibu and has been off the radar ever since. This was a girl who went to school on a Pell Grant. From a low income student to a million dollar beach house in California. That’s not a coincidence.”

I feel like I’m going to be sick again. Of course there’s nothing in my stomach to empty even if I do get the urge to vomit.

“There’s more.” Alexander looks at me before he continues. “Do you want some water or something? You look really pale.”

I shake my head. “I don’t think I’d be able to get anything down my throat right now.”

“How about this?” He leans over and places the softest kiss on my forehead. My stomach leaps, but this time in a good way. “Better?”

“A little,” I choke out.

“Do you want me to continue?”

“Yes.”

“Mercer’s dad is the city’s Chief of Police.”

My jaw nearly drops to the floor. “Oh, my God,” I hear myself mutter.

“Colby’s dad is a well-respected judge, who’s known for his tough stance on crime.”

“Wow,” is all I can manage to say.

“What are the chances that these two guys are going to be investigated? And even if they are investigated in some superficial way I’m sure they’ll all have cover stories and rock solid alibis.”

My mind is spinning out of control again. “What are we going to do?”

Now Alexander is the one shaking his head.

“And what do we tell Julio and Hector? How will we get justice?”

“We’ll have to come up with a plan,” he says. “Maybe take justice into our own hands.”

My stomach feels like it’s in knots again. I have a sinking feeling that Julio and Hector would be on board with instilling their own justice if the law fails to provide it. And that scares me to my core.

The biggest question is if this is something I could support, or even live with…

Six

Alexander

“You look tired.” Roxie actually looks like she might pass out from exhaustion, but I’m trying to be somewhat kind. I used to be a lot nicer, more easygoing, before the bombing. Before I became isolated, bitter and full of rage.

When I’m with Roxie, I don’t feel as angry, which seems counter-intuitive because her brother was the catalyst for my complete change of heart. I feel like Roxie’s warmth and spirit are slowly thawing my cold heart.

“The police are searching my dorm room and collecting evidence. I can’t go back there right now.” She looks into my eyes. “I’m not sure I ever want to go back, but I don’t have anywhere else to go.”

I swallow. Hard. I’ve never been a rash person. I’ve become even more cautious and calculating since I became a hacker. But I’m overwhelmed with so many emotions when I’m with Roxie. And right now my desire to be with her, and to help her, is more powerful than my restraint.

“Stay here.” I let the words escape from my mouth and don’t stop them. “With me. You can stay as long as you want.”

We both stare at each other for a long moment as my words hang in the air. Air that is quickly beginning to sizzle with the electricity that is being exchanged between us.

“Really?”

I know she’s giving me an out. A chance to change my mind, but I don’t want to change it. At this moment having her stay here with me is the one thing I want.

“Really,” I affirm.

She glances around. “Do you have a spare bedroom?”

I shake my head. “The second bedroom is being used as my office.”

She gulps. “Where would I sleep? On the couch?”

“I would never make you sleep on the couch. You could use my bed.”

She furrows her brow like she’s giving it some thought. “I wouldn’t want to put you out.”

I quickly shake my head. “You wouldn’t be putting me out at all.” The idea of having her stay here—with me—is more than I could have ever imagined. “You have to stay here. I insist.”

“If you insist.” She gives me a fleeting smile. “Thank you.”

“Did the police indicate whether you could get some of your things from your dorm room?”

“They didn’t say much. Just that I needed to vacate while they collected evidence.”

“What about your classes?”

“My RA said she could talk with my instructors. Let them know what happened. I don’t have to go back right away. I’m caught up on all of my assignments.”

“I could have some personal items delivered. Whatever you need. They deliver here a few times a week. I could just add it to my standing order.”

“Maybe a toothbrush. A comb for my hair. I’m sure you have shampoo and toothpaste already.”

I gulp. “I—um—I like the shampoo you use. Your hair always smells like orange blossoms.”

That elicits another slight smile. “It’s called Citrus Spring.”

I don’t waste any time locating the items on the grocery store website and adding it to my biweekly order. “What else do you want? This is like a virtual shopping cart. Pile on whatever you’d like.”

She fumbles around in her purse for a few seconds before she pulls out seven dollars. “This is all I have right now.”

“Put the money away. You’re my guest. Just tell me what you want.”

She sticks the bills back in her bag. Then she bites her bottom lip and cocks her head to one side. What I wouldn’t give to be able to kiss those lips of hers right now, but I know better than to press my luck. I already feel like I’ve won the lottery when she agreed to stay at my place.

“Do you have orange juice?” She gives me a little half smile.

“I can always use more.” I add that to the virtual shopping cart as well. “Anything else you like to eat or drink?”

She bites her bottom lip again. This time it arouses something very deep inside of me. Something I’ve spent a lot of hours trying to suppress. I actually start to get hard.

I fidget a little in my seat in an effort to suppress that urge. The last thing I want is for her to glance down and see a raging erection. If nothing else does, that will really scare her away. No one wants to think about having sex with a circus freak like me.

Then she shrugs. “I’ll eat almost anything. I don’t want to be too much trouble.”

“I’ve gotten pretty good at cooking. I like to do pasta. I also do a killer chicken dish. Maybe some stuff to make salad.”

She nods. “That sounds great.”

I place a bunch of groceries into my virtual shopping cart. “They’ll deliver them later. When it gets dark. What about a change of clothes? A sweatshirt and some sweatpants? A few t-shirts? I’ve also got a delivery account with a department store.”

“Okay,” she says. “If it’s not too much trouble.”

I look deep into her eyes. “You’re no trouble, okay. I assume you’ll want everything small. Do they make something smaller than small? Tiny?”

That makes her laugh. “Small is fine.”

I log into the department store and order a few pairs of sweatpants and sweatshirts in various colors, Ladies t-shirts, two pairs of pajamas, socks and underwear for delivery.

I freeze when she moves closer to me. A lot closer. She’s completely closing any distance between us.

“What are you doing?” I croak.

I know what it looks like she’s doing, but I don’t want to make any assumptions.

“I wanted to thank you for—well, for everything really. I know you’re taking a big risk helping me and the guys. It means a lot to me.”

“I believe in justice,” I tell her. And that’s a big part of the reason I’m helping with Claire. But there’s also a more selfish reason that I’m helping Roxie. Because I like having her with me.

When she moves in even closer my chest tightens so much I feel like I can’t breathe.

I grab her hands before she has a chance to touch my face.

“Don’t you want me?” When she looks into my eyes it’s almost more than I can bear.

“I’ve learned not to want what I know I can’t have,” I reply.

“And what makes you sure you can’t have me?” She looks so innocent, but even behind those innocent eyes I sense something much deeper and more complex.

“Because I’m damaged and you’re not.”

“You’re judging me only by what you see on the outside.”

“Not just me. It’s what the world sees. When they look at you they see someone absolutely beautiful. When they look at me they see some kind of monster.”

“That’s not what I see.” She’s still staring at me. But not just looking at me—it’s like she’s looking into me. Like she’s not just looking at what’s on the outside. It’s like she’s deep inside of me.

Too bad what’s on the inside isn’t much better than what’s on the outside. The damage done to me wasn’t just done to my flesh. The bombing damaged my psyche and my soul, maybe even more than my body. She’s thinks I’m the good guy of the story. She doesn’t realize that I can just as easily be the villain. 

But being with Roxie makes me feel human again. For the first time since the bombing I feel like I have a real connection with someone or something other than myself.

And before I have a chance to stop her, or maybe it’s that I don’t really want to, she places her lips on mine. Very tentatively at first. Almost like she’s testing the waters, making sure it’s okay to swim there. I feel like I should warn her that she’s swimming in shark infested waters, but I’m enjoying the feel of her soft lips on mine way too much.

“You don’t have to do this,” I whisper.

“Do what?” she whispers back. Her mouth is still so close to mine that I can feel her breath tickle my lips.

“You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s not why I’m kissing you.”

“Then why?” My words stick in my throat again.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

I shake my head.

When she looks deep into my eyes the exchange of energy between us is intoxicating. I feel like my rational mind is being completely suppressed when I rise out of my chair and pull her close. For the first time in a long time I allow myself to feel.

And once the floodgates are opened the years of suppressed emotion nearly overwhelm me. If she truly wants me, all of me, every broken and fragmented piece of me, that’s what I’m going to give her.

There’s nothing tentative about the kiss I give her. It’s filled with unleashed, raw desire. Half of me expects her to pull away, but she doesn’t. She’s right there with me, allowing me access to every inch of her delicious mouth.

There’s not a part of my body that isn’t completely and utterly turned on by this woman. And the fact that she seems to be equally turned on by me is not only absolutely unbelievable, but turning me on even more.

My entire body is screaming for more. She’s awakened something so fierce within me it’s taking every ounce of restraint I have not to pull her into my bedroom and take all of her.

But just as quickly as it started the fire is extinguished when reality sets in. She’s only seen me with my mask, which hides most of my facial scars. And she’s seen a small portion of the scarring on my hand and arm. She hasn’t seen my ravaged mess of a body. And being with her would require exposure to all of that damage.

I’m repulsed even thinking about it. I have no idea how it would be possible to turn her on once she saw that.

“We’d better slow down.” I cup her face in my hands.

She furrows her brow. “I thought…”

I shake my head. “You don’t want to see any more than this.”

“I don’t understand.” There’s confusion in her lovely eyes.

“The scars on my body. They’re worse than the ones on my face. And those are covered right now.”

She narrows her eyes at me and purses her lips. I have a feeling she’s not going to take no for an answer. She has to be the most persistent person on the planet. Then she announces, “I want to see them all.”

“I’m sorry. What?” I want to make sure I’ve heard her correctly. And then I want to dispute her assertion if what I heard is true.

“You don’t have to hide from me. You know my deepest, darkest secret. You know my brother is a mass murderer. You were one of his victims. And you’re still standing here. You still kissed me. You still want to be with me. That’s an amazing gift. I want to see your scars.”

I swallow. As much as I want to believe her I just can’t make myself do it. I want her to stay. And I know deep in my heart that if she sees them, all of them, all of the ugliness of the person I’ve become, that she’d leave and never come back.

Just like Samantha and everyone else.

“I can’t.”

Of course she’s not going to let me off the hook that easily. “Why can’t you?”

I turn away because I can’t take the pleading look in her eyes. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Why would I leave?” She sounds puzzled.

“When you see the scars. When you see how bad I really look. You’ll leave. Everyone does. They don’t come back.”

“Look at me,” she demands.

I slowly turn back to face her.

“I’m not going to leave.”

I want to believe her, but I can’t. It’s too big of a risk. Then she says the unthinkable.

“What if I say I’ll leave if you don’t show me?”

My heart sinks to the floor. “That’s not fair.”

“Maybe not. But it may be the only way to stop you from being stupid.”

I want to protest and tell her that I’m not being stupid, but I can tell by the look on her face that she’s not going to compromise. She has her mind made up. She going to see me—all of me—and that’s all there is to it.

A flurry of emotions wells up from inside me. Anger, fear and even hope. “Fine.”

I quickly unbutton my shirt before I have a chance to change my mind and remove it. And then I hold my breath and wait for the inevitable: the change of expression on her face, the look of disgust that she’ll try to hide, the mumbling and stuttering because she doesn’t know what to say and then the awkward, but quick escape. That’s what’s happened every other time I’ve exposed my scars to people who were supposed to be my friends, people who said they cared about me, people who said they loved me.

And Roxie isn’t someone I’ve known very long. She doesn’t owe me anything. We don’t have a past together. She doesn’t have any reason to stay.

I freeze when I feel her hand touch my chest. It takes a few seconds for my brain to register that she’s actually touching me. That a woman is touching me. A beautiful woman. I want to pinch myself to make sure I’m not dreaming.

When I look at her it’s hard for me to believe my eyes. Her hand is moving ever so slowly and carefully over my scars. It’s such a simple gesture, but it overwhelms me completely. The emotions running through me are almost too much to bear.

“Why?” I whisper. Even that one word is almost too difficult to get out.

She cocks her head to one side. “Why what?”

“Why are you still here?”

She frowns, but doesn’t reply. She just continues to touch my chest.