The Not Gate (Tom and Alice #1) (21 page)

OPEN YOUR EYES

Sunday
3
rd
March

T
om Chambers: respected teacher, loving son, true friend, all-round good guy… absolute screw up.

The last time he had sat up to the early hours drinking whiskey was before he had even kissed Alice. Now here he was curled up in the small brown chair in the corner of his lounge, tumbler in his hand, bottle by his side, praying like crazy that he could figure out what to do. The room was dark and cold now. The central heating had clicked off and the television had changed from normal late night shitty programmes to teletext hours ago.

The small strip of photos perched on top of his coffee table.

He rarely took his eyes off them. He kept picking them up and putting them down like it was some kind of nervous twitch. Alice’s face stared at him, smiling. She wouldn’t be smiling if she knew the thoughts that were swamping him this night.

Neil was right, how did she really know what was best for her?

She’s seventeen for Christ’s sake
.

How could he have ever thought that what he had started had some kind of immunity from decency just because he loved her so much?

His friend was wrong about him thinking with his dick though. The problem was he was thinking with his heart. But when you’re a teacher attempting to conduct a sexual relationship with a student, you should be thinking with your head.

‘I’ve ruined a young woman’s life…’ he whispered, ‘but she is all I have ever wanted.’

Tom lifted the glass to his mouth but it was empty.

‘Alice… I love you,’ as if saying it out loud she would somehow hear it and forgive him for the actions he was contemplating.

Tom grabbed the bottle from the floor and filled his glass again. He raised it up in front of him, ‘here’s to finding the one… then breaking both your fucking hearts.’

So
drunk…

Could he go to Ireland? Never see her again.

No.

What about a break? Just until Alice finishes school, that might work?

God, he felt like he was drowning in a sea of panic and hurt. His career, his relationship and reputation were all on the line, but the only thing he really cared about was how this would affect Alice.

Tom picked up the pictures again. How had he not seen this? How had he forgotten his age? What he fucking looked like?

He skimmed his thumb over her lips, she was so beautiful, so young and innocent.

The last photo, the one where they were kissing passionately and his hands were in her hair. It looked wrong now, he looked crazed and determined, like a man exerting absolute power over a very young woman. If he was being honest it made him feel uncomfortable. Yet at the time though he had felt on top of the world, he had been happy and relaxed. The moments they spent together were the best of his life, so how could that be wrong?

Why shouldn’t he just pack a bag, grab his girl and go hide under a rock somewhere for the next twenty years?

Be realistic.

He was going to go to Ireland, he knew he was.

No way…

He wasn’t going to leave Alice without his protection and his love. He had seen what had nearly happened when he had left her before.

She doesn’t need it. You’re forcing it on
her. How does she really know what she wants, without having any experience of life?

‘Fuck off!’ Tom shouted at his own head, the intrusive thoughts were really pissing him off now.

We love each other and that’s it.

You’re not just Tom Chambers anymore. You’re a thirty-year-old teacher, sleeping with your student, making her believe there’s a tomorrow for you both. Think of one of the other male teachers, Mr Griffiths maybe, fucking one of Alice’s friends…

‘Sick,’ he whispered.

Lust, it’s only lust.

‘No.’

Tom wiped the tears from his eyes and looked up at the television. The teletext flipped to the next page. The bright yellow and blue writing on a black screen offered him rural Tuscany, seven nights for a family of four and flight’s included for £349.

Tom raised his eyebrows, not bad.

Shit, where was his head tonight?

No more whiskey…

THE CALM BEFORE

Tuesday
12
th
March

A
lice sat on the desk in Tom’s classroom waiting for him. It was about 4.20pm and all the students and most of the teachers had left for the day.

Alice had made Tom issue her with a fake detention earlier as she was so desperate to spend some time with him. It had been really difficult over the last week or so to even speak for a few minutes. Tom had been away on a training course of some sorts for three days and her parents hadn’t gone to the quiz this week so their Monday night call had gone out the window. Stephanie had said she would cover for her, but she didn’t want to risk it.

Tom had told her to wait in his room and make it look like she was doing work or whatever until he got back, as he had to sort out a few things after lessons. Alice had completed her maths assignment in record time and was now half-bored, half-excitedly on edge anticipating his arrival.

Ten minutes later she heard his voice outside the door. The erotic Irish smoothness as he bid goodnight to another departing teacher. He laughed at something they’d said and she felt strangely jealous of his life.

The school around her fell silent and still, like the heart of it was removed after last bell. Still that is, except for his presence, his strength and love, consuming to her all the time. She braced herself as he opened the door.

Stopping, he gazed at her.

He looked slightly crumpled from the day in his brown blazer and pale blue shirt. His hair more haphazard than normal. He must have done a lot of stressful pushing of his hands through it today. But most of all he looked damn sexy.

‘Have you done your work, Miss Rutherford?’ he smiled rakishly.

‘Yes, sir,’ she smiled back sweetly.

Good, playful Chambers.

Tom placed his bag on top of his desk and removed his keys. He walked back to the door and locked it. Alice’s heart flipped over.

Tom took the chewing gum from his mouth and dropped it into the bin at his feet. There was no window in his classroom door, unlike the form room, so they were suddenly very alone in this large, forbidden, erotically charged room, which held so many of her fantasies.

‘Good day?’ Alice whispered swinging her legs back and forth. Tom walked slowly towards her, holding her gaze. There was no way he would do anything in school… was there?

‘Not really,’ Tom put his arms around her and squeezed.

‘Not too tight!’

He loosened his grip and Alice promptly wanted the stronger hold back, ‘why?’

‘Just work stuff.’

‘We can talk about it if you want?’ she chirped.

Tom’s face darkened for a moment, looked away from her, then back.

‘Maybe later,’ he smiled.

‘Okay.’

‘Listen you know us being here is very silly don’t you?’ he kissed the tip of her nose.

She wanted more of him instantly.

‘About as silly as a chef being in a kitchen or a lawyer in a court room,’ she whispered, tucking her hair behind her ear. Tom laughed, nodding his head in agreement.

Alice moved her arms and snaked them around his neck, pulling him in for a deeper kiss. Tom kissed her tenderly. But she could feel him holding back, there was a tensing in his arms, his head a little too ridged.

‘You’ve locked the door, Tom. No one’s going to see us, relax,’ she ran her hands down his arms.

‘It’s not just that, I need…’ he started, but Alice cut him off by pulling his top shirt button undone.

‘Shush, it’s all fine. Please we haven’t been together for so long,’ she pleaded.

‘Don’t Alice, not here. Not now,’ he whispered looking up to the heavens as she opened two more buttons.

‘Don’t you want me?’ she leaned towards him, pulled his shirt collar aside and kissed his neck. She felt him shudder and she kissed him again a little lower this time, and again on the top of his warm chest. She could feel his beautiful heart rate increase under the touch of her lips.

‘Alice, don’t ask that,’ he pulled back slightly but she held onto him and her lips followed, ‘…of course I do.’

Alice stopped and stared at him. His eyes looked worried and at the same time she could sense the lust brewing just below the teacher surface. She just had to push it a little more. Even if he was totally against something, she knew the physical connection they shared always won out against his better judgement in the end.

‘Stop looking at me like that,’ he whispered his voice low and warning.

‘Like what?’

‘Like, you want me to go alpha on you.’

‘I do.’

‘Well I’m not going to,’ he said moving closer to the desk, pulling her more towards the edge of it, their bodies meeting like two magnets.

‘Yes, you are,’ she stated bluntly.

‘No way Alice, not here okay,’ he kissed her now, long and slow, his hands fisting in her hair.

Nice try Tom, you’re so convincing!?

Alice could feel the familiar pull low in her stomach. His smell, his body, the way he spoke heightened her so quickly and to a level where she would do anything, anything at all just to feel him inside her. To share their precious moments of ecstasy with him. This living man she held in her hands was all she needed for the rest of her life, there really was nothing beyond him.

Alice smiled and looked at him from under her lashes. She was about to push a bit harder.

‘I miss you so much when we’re apart, Tom,’ she moved her hands down his back, over his bum, one hand moved around to rest on his erection, ‘how good this makes me feel…’ she kissed him and rubbed him softly over his trousers.

She felt quite reckless and daring. She wouldn’t normally be too forward, but being locked in here with him, his stubbornness, she was desperate for him.

‘Shit,’ Tom sighed loudly and pushed her back onto the desk a little too hard. Her head banging against the wood as Tom leaned over her. His mouth descended and his control evaporated.

Alice franticly pulled at his belt, getting that open, she started on his trousers. Tom pulled her arms away from him forcefully and held them at her sides.

‘Don’t move,’ his voice rumbled.

She felt herself shaking with anticipation. She watched him stand and open his trousers the rest of the way, stepping to her again he roughly lifted her skirt. She stayed as he had told her with her hands gripping the edge of the small desk. Tom hastily removed his jacket and pulled her waist towards him, her back slid across the table and she gasped.

‘Are you okay, Tom?’ Alice breathed looking at his torn face.

‘Fuck it all!’ he said, as if shouting at himself. ‘…this is what I want.’

‘Tom...’ she stopped suddenly when she felt him push into her with a single determined thrust, ‘oh my god!’ she half screamed, her hand going to her mouth to stop the loud outburst just in case they were not yet alone in the building.

Tom looked down at her, ‘hands by your side,’ he gritted, slamming into her over and over.

Her arms shot back to her sides and she stared up at him.

Moments later he stopped, ‘will you turn around, baby?’ he asked stepping away from her.

Alice jumped off the desk and turned quickly. Resting her hands on the surface she braced herself. Tom was obviously anxious about the whole thing but it seemed to only make him bossier and to Alice that meant sexier.

When he entered her this time she cried out, he felt so big like this, almost unbearable. She bit he lip and her head lowered more with every thrust until her cheek was pressed against the cool desk top and her shallow breaths were the only sound she could hear. Tom was moving faster now, her tension and need for orgasm was increasing with every stroke.

Alice felt Tom tremble first, together they felt like a mass of nerve and muscle, sweat and skin. Tom brushed his fingers gently over her lower back. This delicate touch coupled with the aggressive, punishing sexual onslaught was enough to push her over the edge. Even during a time where the animal side of Tom was very much ruling his actions, he still had tenderness and that is what she loved about him.

Alice shut her eyes tightly, concentrated on the brush of his fingertips and the brutality of his lovemaking, and in the acuteness of the situation she let herself go, head first, into the most natural, extreme high she had known.

THE STORM

Tuesday
12
th
March

T
om slumped down into one of the plastic chairs, gripped his hair with both hands and rubbed agitatedly. Swiftly buttoned his trousers and looked over at Alice. She was straightening her skirt and blouse, but watching him and her little pixie face was serious.

Why did he do that? As if this wasn’t hard enough?

He loved her that had to be enough.

‘You’re angry?’ she breathed.

‘Not with you, baby.’

‘Don’t be mad at yourself, Tom, it’s done.’

She walked over and crouched beside him, resting her head on his knee.

‘Alice, I’m sorry for all of that, that wasn’t good for you. I should know better than that,’ he said rubbing her hair. He stared at his hand, a child would sit with her father like this.

‘Hold on, why’re you apologising for sex? I thought you were mad about doing stuff in your classroom?’ she turned to face him, giving him an excuse to quickly remove his hand.

‘Both. Really though you deserve better than being bent over a desk and screwed at a quarter to five on a Tuesday evening.’

‘I couldn’t think of anything better if I tried,’ Alice laughed.

‘You would say that,’ he smiled back.

‘You do love me don’t you?’ her emerald eyes searched his expression.

Tom sighed, ‘in this life and the next, I will never love anything or anyone more than you, Alice Rutherford. If I could make time stand still for the rest of my life it would be in a moment, any moment that I can see you smile, touch your face and bask in your unassuming perfection,’ he whispered earnestly.

Corny bastard.

‘You’re such an old romantic, I love you,’ she squeezed his knee and stood before him, ‘come on we should go, I’ll walk you to your car.’

‘Thank you, I was really worried about getting there safely on my own,’ he said with mild sarcasm.

‘You’re a moron!’ she punched his arm playfully and Tom made a face like he was going to cry from the pain, ‘…see what I mean?’

Tom picked up her bag and handed it to her, retrieved his own and they walked hand in hand to the door. As soon as they were on the other side they instinctively dropped each other’s embrace and Alice fell in step slightly behind Tom.

This isn’t the way it was supposed to be, he thought, if you loved someone you had the right to show the world, but here they were once more teacher and student, walking towards the front of the school, heading for the car park after a detention.

‘Nice bum,’ Alice whispered from behind.

Tom smiled and looked over his shoulder at her. She really was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Her hair was loose now, bouncing around her face and flowing down her back. She still looked a little flushed and her lips looked fuller, pinker. She grinned back at him widely and winked.

He wanted her to be his. He wasn’t going to let this go, was he? Whenever he was with her everything else dissipated.

‘Nice breasts,’ he mouthed silently. Her cheeks went red and she covered her face with her hands, shaking her head.

‘Mr Chambers!’ she mouthed back, raising her eyebrows.

‘Nice pus...’ he started.

‘That’s enough,’ Alice laughed cutting him off.

It was about five o’clock when they reached the front of the school. They walked towards where the coach drop-off point was located. It had been a drizzly day and the cool breeze had turned cold and the light was fading.

Outside the head’s office and staffroom entrance Tom heard a noise. He looked around curiously, as Mr Hill pushed the door open with his back, in his hands a large box.

Tom set down his bag and jogged over to help him.

‘Thank you Tom, that’s great,’ he said as Tom took the heavy box from him so he could get a better grip, ‘new electronics boards, I’m taking them home to test tonight.’

‘No problem, David, rather you than me though. Those OR and NOT gates always confused me.’

Tom looked back at Alice nervously. She had sat down on the low stone wall a few metres away. It was alright it looked as if she was waiting for a parent to collect her.

‘Miss Rutherford with a detention?’ he questioned a little surprised, glancing over at Alice.

Tom rolled his eyes, ‘I know. A bit disruptive in class over the last few weeks, thought a shock would sort her out.’

‘It’s always the quiet ones as they say,’ Mr Hill continued.

Tom laughed.

You’re a teacher and she is no more than a child. Look at her the way he
does.
You have to do the right thing…

‘Must get on anyway. Are you waiting to make sure she gets picked up or would you like me to?

‘I will.’

‘Very good,’ he turned to leave, ‘oh by the way it’s a great shame you’re leaving us, I’ve been meaning to catch you.’

‘Yes, it is,’ Tom looked around suddenly anxious. Alice was listening but pretending not to. She stared ahead at nothing.

‘Morton College, that’s the Irish equivalent of the likes of Eton isn’t it? You’ve done very well to get in there, son,’ he nodded his head at Tom in approval.

Shit no!

‘What!’ Alice half shouted from behind them. She was standing now, staring over at them, furious. Tom positioned himself between Alice and Mr Hill. He turned towards her and his face pleaded.

‘Alice, I’ll talk to you in a minute, thank you,’ he looked at her, then back to Mr Hill.

‘Right, I’ll leave you to it,’ he raised his eyebrows, ‘I can see you have your hands full with that one. You’re obviously a popular teacher, Tom. I’ve heard the girls whispering. Oh to be young.’

Tom smiled at him and nodded. He watched Mr Hill walk towards his car and he slowly let out the lungful’s of air he hadn’t realised he had been holding.

‘What? Tom!’ Alice called out again.

No, this can’t be the way she finds out.

Too late, decision made.