The NSC Boxset: Heart of Stone (245 page)

I punched a few numbers into my phone and waited with bated breath until he picked up on the other end.

“I need an address.”

Chapter Twenty

Grace

I STARED AT them both, Ava frowning at me with concern, Grant just staring back at me as he ran his forefinger across his lip in contemplation. “I don’t know, okay. I . . . I need to get my head around this before I figure out how to save my own damn life.”

“I have someone bringing Marcus in,” Grant divulged and I smiled gratefully at him.

“Thank you but I’d already offered him five thousand so he’d come with me.”

Ava snorted and shook her head, “Bloody hell Grace, he’s your brother.”

“He’s also a heroin addict and you of all people should know that their next hit comes before reasoning and family.”

She sighed and nodded, “You need to get out of here, Grace, please. Even Mason can’t help with this one.”

“I don’t want Mason to help. I’ll be fine, don’t worry but I need to sort this shit out before anything happens. I need to know that Marcus will be taken care of.”

Grant took my hand and squeezed. “Kid, you know why I couldn’t take you in after your parents died; the prison didn’t take too kindly to me adopting a kid whilst I was on the inside. And the courts would never have allowed you into my care anyway, but I can and
I will
promise you that I will personally see Marcus sorted.”

I sighed heavily in relief, “Thank you.”

He shook his head and waved me off as he pulled his ringing phone from his pocket and answered it. “Fucking hell,” he grumbled. “Okay, I’m coming.”

“Can I ask you something?” I asked Ava when Grant shut the door behind him.

“After I ask you,” She smirked at me but then narrowed her eyes as her expression grew serious and hard. “Do you love him?”

“No!”

She nodded deliberately and pursed her lips, “Bit quick to answer, Grace.”

“Bit quick to divert round to me, Ava. Do
you
love him?”

She sucked air through her teeth and then locked my gaze with a hard stare, “Yes, I do. He saved my life.” She watched for my reaction but I didn’t let her see it although I was sure she could hear the thud my heart made when she answered my question so openly. “But . . . The love I have for Kade is very complex and convoluted. It’s stronger than a companionship but not as soul consuming as a spirited love.”

Her eyes glazed as her attention focused out of the window. “Things happened last year, things that none of us saw coming and I’m not sure how much you know but . . .”

“I know he loves both you and Mason.”

She nodded and smiled sadly, “Kade is . . . he’s very deep and his soul is utterly beautiful but he understood, when I didn’t at the time, that our . . . relationship was going nowhere even though our love would always be a constant. His choice to stay behind was completely warranted even though it broke both him and me. But you have to understand Grace, Mason and I, our relationship is one of those that, yes can be volatile but fuck; its pure, it’s real and it’s staggering but it’s so damn . . . consuming that Kade knew he could never bridge that enough to make the three of us real. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I shrugged, “A little.”

“What I’m saying is, although Kade loves me, it wasn’t raw enough for him to take the risk and join us. Now, to me, you love someone so intently, you’d climb over Hades and across the embers of hell for that someone. I know because I did it for Mason. I would die for him but I wouldn’t just give up my life, I would take whatever torture, whatever suffering and whatever persecution it came with and I would laugh the whole course of it because I would know that Mason would be okay. I would live through him and he would continue with me because I’m inside him, I’m his soul as he is mine.”

I remained silent but she knew I understood because she leaned further into me and secured my eyes, “But you already know that feeling don’t you, because not only did you exchange your life for him, you took the torture too.”

“No, it wasn’t like that.”

“Why are you denying this, Grace? Why not admit to yourself what is happening here?”

“Because . . . because I’m going to die Ava. I won’t see the end of our relationship so I won’t give it a beginning. I won’t put that on Kade, he doesn’t deserve that.”

She rolled her lips and grasped my chin, pulling my face close to hers, “Say the words, Grace.”

“No.”

“Say them. Let your ears hear them and let your heart feel them.”

“No, Ava.”

Her grip tightened and I let her have her moment. She was furious with me; her whole face was full of irritation and ire. “Grace, so help me God, fucking say them! Make them real!”

My chest heaved as my anger with her erupted forcefully, “Why Ava? Why do you need to hear them? To make you feel better for leaving him behind? To make your abandonment less guilty? Well I’m sorry; I won’t give you the absolution you want.”

We were both squaring up now, our voices loud and heated but she lowered her hands from my face and pushed my chest causing me to stumble backwards and slap against the wall. “It’s not me that has the guilt Grace, we both know that.”

“Oh Ava, how you wish that were true. But I’m sorry to burst your bubble; you hurt him more than you will ever know.”

“Yeah?” She scoffed and leaned closer, “And how the hell would you know that, Grace? How would you even have a clue what he’s feeling?”

“Because I see it in him, Ava. I can read it in his eyes, in the way he stares at things when he doesn’t know I’m watching him. The pain flows from him; I can feel the rawness of it.”

“Oh bullshit, Grace. You haven’t a fucking clue!”

“Really, you really don’t seem to care that much to say you told me you loved him. You have pushed him aside and then left him to rot. You don’t deserve him; he deserves someone who would love him absolutely. Someone who would take all the pain and hurt and absorb it from him. Someone who would give their life for him, not someone who would expect him to save theirs!”

“Right, Grace!” She laughed cruelly and God damn, I wanted to kill the heartless bitch. “So giving your life for another’s proves what?”

“It proves how fucking much you want them to be happy. How much you want them to live their life. How you want them to carry on even though you aren’t there with them. It proves to them how much you fucking love them!”

She smiled slyly and tipped her head, “Yes, it does.”

I stared at her as I tried to swallow past the lump that was restricting my airway and shook my head. “Ava, please. He must never know.”

The door opened and Grant stepped in but I didn’t focus on him. My eyes wouldn’t move from the person stood behind him, “Kade? What the hell?”

He squinted at me then rushed over, cupping my jaw and tilting my head left and right so he could study me. “What the fuck happened to you?”

“I’m okay.” I smiled at him, trying to hide the grimace at the pain in my right cheekbone.

He growled and I blinked up at him but he turned and flung himself at Grant. “You fucking bastard. What the hell have you done to her?”

I rushed over and pulled him back, silently impressed with his strength as he landed a hit to Grant’s face and scuttled him back into the door. “Whoa, stop!”

Grant pulled himself upright and scowled at me, “Sort your fucking boyfriend out before I do!”

“Kade, please” I pleaded with him as I tried to pull him back but the pain in my right wrist forced a gasp from me and I pulled it to my chest, holding it in my other hand to support it.

“Jesus Christ, Grace. Look at you! Why the hell did you do this? And for me, for that matter?”

I frowned at him and then glared. “What the hell do you mean by that?”

He took my hand gently and started to gently press along my wrist and then ran his fingers tenderly up my arm, hissing every time he came across a new graze or bruise. “Grace, sweetheart. I am not worth . . .
this!
”

“So you are saying that I offered my own life up for nothing. I took on London’s toughest bitch to save your life but it was a waste because you’re not worth fighting for.”

“Yes, that is exactly what I am saying.” He turned me around when his hands came up to my shoulders before he proceeded to push lightly on the groove of my spine and then around my waist and across to my ribs. I flinched as he applied pressure to a few of them. “Fuck, you took some fractures.”

I spun round and reared my hand back before I brought it across his cheek in a harsh slap. He pressed his hand against the tender part of his face and widened his eyes on me. “What the hell was that for?”

“Do you even realise what I went through for you? Does it not even start to sink in that I would have died for you, but you just brush it off like it was nothing, like
you
are nothing?”

His jaw dropped and he stared at me in astonishment but I was too angry with him to stop. “I don’t care about a few cuts and bruises. I don’t give a toss if I have a few broken ribs. They don’t bloody matter, they will mend but you, you wouldn’t mend with a damn hole in your fucking skull.”

“Grace . . .” He looked pained and reached for me but I shook him off.

“I’ve seen your soul Kade, and let me tell you it is fucking beautiful. It’s pure and it’s strong. You showed your heart to me, you showed me that my inner peace and my pleasure were important to you.”

“They are,” he argued but I shook my head angrily.

“Then you’ll know that my inner peace and my pleasure were in giving myself to you, giving you the gift that you deserved. I . . .
me
Kade,
I
gave you . . .
me!
” I shook my head sadly and finally swallowed past the lump in my throat. “I offered you all of me. Why would I do that if I didn’t think you were worthy?”

“I . . .”

I pulled in a breath and clenched my fists, “Why wouldn’t you accept that? Why won’t you accept me and what I was trying to give you? But you know what; I’m obviously not something you want, so take
her!
” I turned and pointed to Ava who was stood still in the corner watching us with a melancholy silence. “Because I know I can never live up to what she can give you, or what you want to take from
her
come to that.”

His eyes moved across the room and I heard the small gasp in his breath as his gaze reached her. The sound of it broke me, completely. I was right; I could never compete with Ava. She had Kade. She owned his soul as well as his heart and as his eyes remained fixed on her; I moved past him and left them alone. Left them to be what Kade had always wanted them to be.

Together.

Chapter Twenty-One

Kade

AVA SMILED SOFTLY at me but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe as I analysed what my mind was screaming at me. My heart was being pulled somewhere I wasn’t sure I wanted it to go and I just continued to stare at her in silence.

“Hello, Kade.”

Her voice was soft and like a balm but I blinked as I realised the ache was still there. It hadn’t waned or abated at the sight of Ava. It didn’t give me any relief or even take me to a place I’d longed to go for so long. It didn’t even sate the clench in my chest.

Holy Fuck!

“I have to go, Ava.”

I didn’t wait for her to answer as I shot out of the door and went in search of the only thing I knew would dowse the fire within me.

Grace Beaumont.

* * *

Where the hell was she? I was receiving curious looks from all of Baxter’s staff but I couldn’t care less, I needed to find her.

All of a sudden her raised voice hung in the air and I tilted my head towards the sound to get a direction on it.

“Jesus Christ. . . . When will it ever end? Look at you, look at you. . . .”

She was angry with someone and when I opened the door to a room at the back of the house I found the reason why.

A guy, I presumed to be her brother, was slumped in a chair. His eyes were open but they weren’t seeing anything. He was pale and thin, his cheekbones near piercing the thin skin on his face as his mouth hung open. He was as high as a bloody kite and my heart clenched for Grace.

She leaned forward and slid her arms around him, then hoisted him over her shoulder and turned. She frowned when she saw me, her face showing her confusion as well as the agony her body was in but I shook my head and took Marcus from her, lifting him over my own shoulder and freeing her of the strain her already tortured body was in. She had gone pale and I cupped her cheek, trying to tell her without voicing the words she needed to hear.

“Where’s Ava?”

I stared at her in confusion, “Uhh, back in Baxter’s office I think, why?”

She shrugged but still expressed slight puzzlement, “No reason.”

She gestured for me to follow as we took the stairs and she led me into a bedroom where I lay Marcus down. “How long has he been an addict?” I asked her softly.

“Since he was a teenager.”

“And it’s been left for you to sort him out?”

She scoffed and shook her head faintly. “There is no one else, that’s why.”

I sighed and moved towards her. She didn’t retreat but her body stiffened as I neared, “What about Will?”

Her eyes widened and I watched as all the blood drained from her face. “What? What about Will, why would he be responsible for Marcus?”

I didn’t understand the reason for the tremor in her voice and I gazed at her curiously, “Because he’s your older brother. Surely that gives him entitlement to look after Marcus?”

“No!” She barked too quickly and too sternly.

“Grace?”

“No I said. Marcus is not Will’s concern or responsibility. The only concern Will has is for Will.” She moved away and fetched a bowl of cool water from the bathroom and then started to dab Marcus’s face as I perched on the bed beside her.

“Talk to me, Grace.”

I watched her throat constrict as she bit lightly into her lower lip but she turned to me with a false smile and a mocking happiness displayed on her face. “What do you want to talk about?” Her tone was casual and marginally irritating but I chose to ignore it as I tipped my head and studied her.