The Old Man in the Club (29 page)

“Look, I'm not trying to be flippant or insensitive. And I definitely don't want to get into another debate with you about this. Either you're my friend or you're not. I would understand if you said you couldn't handle the association. I wouldn't like it and I would be hurt by it. But I would get it. You would be like every other guy who was my friend but now isn't. You'd be too weak to stand by friendship over perception.”

“Dude, you're here, aren't you?” Elliott said. “If I was weak and didn't value your friendship, you wouldn't be in my house. But if
we're gonna be straight up, let's be straight up. Maybe it's not meant for me to understand, but I don't get the whole gay thing. Two men having sex—I hope I can say this to you because we're friends—but two men having sex just ain't right. It ain't right, Henry. It says so in The Bible and it says so on the street.”

“I can't and won't try to justify anything to you,” Henry said. “You're back to judging me when you have no room to be judgmental. Sex with girls your daughter's age…something seems really wrong with that to me.”

“I won't try to say that there's nothing wrong with that. When you say it out loud, it doesn't sound so good,” Elliott said. “But they were adults, consenting adults. And it's not a sin.”

“I can't believe you're trying to call on The Bible as moral high ground,” Henry said. “I have to deal with my Maker at that time and He will judge me. Not you. Until then, though, you let me live my life and you live yours.”

Elliott wanted to end the talk, but needed to be clear about something. “This isn't easy for me. Henry, I'm not worried about people's assumptions.”

Henry gave him a side-eye look.

“Okay, well, I'm not worried anymore,” Elliott said. “Either I'm in or I'm out. And I'm in. But I can't promise it will always be comfortable. This conversation isn't comfortable. But to be honest with myself, I have to go to some uncomfortable places to eventually get comfortable.”

Henry nodded his head.

Then Elliott added, “But I don't know if I'll ever get comfortable with this.” He smiled at Henry and Henry smiled back.

“Yeah, I bet you can't get comfortable with it since you're probably fighting your own sexuality demons,” Henry said. “You were in prison for twelve years. I'm sure someone got to you.”

“It's time for you to leave, talking that crazy shit,” Elliott said, laughing.

The men exchanged handshakes and a delicate hug to protect Elliott's ribs. “Come here, let me squeeze your butt. I bet it's tight,” Henry said, laughing as he ran toward the door.

“You better get out of here,” Elliott yelled. He and Henry had a tough conversation and were able to joke about it in the end. He hoped the other conversations he had would end the same way.

E
lliott rested after Henry left and tried to figure out what he was going to say to Tamara. He was torn. Ending the relationship would likely result in ending the friendship, too.

She called around nine-thirty, saying she was on her way. By the time she arrived, near ten, Elliott had steadied his mind on how to approach her. But Tamara showed up borderline drunk and definitely tipsy.

“I hate to see you like this,” she said. “I'm glad you're up and moving better, but I'm sure you're still hurting.”

Elliott sat down gingerly on the couch and elevated his feet on an ottoman. “I'm doing better. What's up with you?”

“I'm good. I wish you were with me tonight.”

“Girl, if we were out at an event like that, people would think I'm your father. We don't look like the average couple.”

“So what? You living for them or for yourself?”

Elliott wanted to respond, but Tamara continued. “Look, look at this. How cute am I?”

It was her passport. “So where we going? You said you'd tell me once I got my passport. Well, as you can see, I didn't waste any time.”

“No, you didn't,” Elliott said. “That's good that you handled that.”

“So, where we going?”

“I don't know,” Elliott said. “I hadn't bought any tickets. I wanted you to have your passport and then we could decide. But…”

“But what?” Tamara said. “But your ex-wife, Lucy, wants you back?”

Elliott was surprised by that remark. “She wants you back, right?” she went on.

“Why would you say that?”

“Because she told me,” Tamara said.

Elliott was really surprised and only halfway believed her. “What are you talking about?”

“I met her in the bathroom at the hospital one night. She didn't know who I was and we started talking. She told me she was in love with you and you were in love with her. At least that's what she hoped.”

He still was not sure if she was telling the truth. “You don't believe me, do you?” she said. “Ask her if she met a woman in the bathroom that night. She said she had just left your room.

“But I didn't know it was your ex-wife until the next day, when I came up to your room and you told me to leave. I ran into her in the hallway. We both knew who each other was then.”

Elliott did not know what to think then. But the timeline of when he saw Lucy and when he saw Tamara jibed with how she said things unfolded.

“Your ex is a good-looking woman,” Tamara said. “She's not me, but for her age, she looks good… So, what did you tell her when she told you how she felt?”

“Tamara, I can't—no, I
won't
—get into my conversation with Lucy,” he said.

“Why not?” she said, raising her voice. “I'm tired of you playing games. You're damn near a senior citizen and you're playing games with me. I ain't having it.”

“You need to calm down; what are you upset about?” Elliott said. “I'm not telling her about my conversations with you and vice versa. So you can get all upset if you want, but that's it.”

“Look, Elliott, I have to tell you; I'm in love with you,” she said.

“What? Come on, Tamara,” he said.

“So you're dismissing my feelings like that? I'm serious. I feel like we can be good together.”

“I'm not dismissing your feelings because you don't have any for me,” he said. “My ego told me you did. You want me to be honest and that's what I have to be with you. I like young women, or I convinced myself that I do. So I met you and pursued you because you were the right age for what I was into at that point in my life.”

“So now you're not into me anymore, just like that?” she asked. “Your wife comes crawling back and you're not into me anymore? That's fucked up.”

“What I'm saying is that I was never into you,” Elliott confessed. “That doesn't mean I never liked you because I did. I do. I would never have spent any time with you or even have you at my house if I didn't. But I wasn't into you. I was into distracting myself so I wouldn't think about my ex-wife.

“And you have to be honest, too. You only claimed you had feelings for me only after knowing Lucy said she loved me.”

“Don't act like I can't identify my own feelings,” she said. “I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't have feelings for you.”

“Sleeping together was a mistake,” he said. “Look at me; I'm sixty-one years old. I'm old enough to be your father and damn near your grandfather. We're not supposed to be together.

“If you saw a couple with our age difference together, you'd think something was wrong with her. I don't want people to think that about you.”

“You know what I'd think?” Tamara asked. “I'd think that old dude
must be putting it down. He either has some money or he was tapping that ass right.”

“So why would I think that you think differently about me?”

“You don't have to. You obviously have money to be living here. But I never asked about your money; I have my own. But you surely did tap that ass right. I'm not even gonna front. That's enough reason to be with your old ass right now.”

“And when you turn thirty-five and I'm seventy-one, then what?”

“We'll worry about that at that time. Let me tell you something. You don't understand how terrible it is out here for women. That's probably why your ex-wife wants you back. She's saying, ‘Fuck what he did to end the marriage. It's better to have someone I know and love cheat on me than someone I don't know and don't love who will probably cheat, too.' ”

“Look, I shared a little about my life with you,” Elliott said. “You know about what I went through. I missed my twenties. So having relationships with young women was my way of trying to live a part of my life that I missed. That's what it boils down to. If I wasn't doing that, we would never be here right now. That doesn't take away from really liking you and enjoying our time together. But we can't have a relationship. This is where it should end.”

“How in the hell is a sixty-one-year-old man gonna dump a twenty-five-year-old woman?” Tamara said. “I could see if I was fat and ugly or dumb and crazy. But I'm none of that. Guys are after me all day every day, and the one man I want to be with doesn't want to be with me? This is crazy.”

“I don't know what to say beyond what I told you,” Elliott said. “I'm still in love with my ex-wife.”

“Were you in love with her those times we had sex?” she asked.

“Yes,” Elliott said.

“Don't you want me now?” Tamara slid closer to him on the couch and reached for his crotch. “Let me have some more of that.”

Elliott wanted to push her away, but he was tentative because of his injured ribs. “Cut it out, Tamara.”

“I will. But let me suck you off first.”

The man in Elliott gave that a consideration for a quick second. And he admitted it. “That sounds good and I probably need that, Tamara. But no. Probably, you should go now.”

She moved forward instead of toward the door…until the doorbell rang. “Who's that?”

“I have no idea,” Elliott said. “I don't get how people come up here without my knowledge. This is the second time in a week.”

“Want me to answer it?” she asked.

“Hell, no. I got it,” he said, pulling himself off the couch.

“Who is it?” he yelled with attitude.

“Sorry, Daddy, it's me,” Danielle said.

“Oh, shit,” Elliott said. “This isn't good. You've got to hide.”

“Are you crazy? I'm not hiding,” Tamara said. “You'd better let her in and face this or let her stay out there.”

Elliott's head spun. This was the last thing he expected—or needed. “Hold on, Danielle,” he said toward the door. He turned to Tamara. “Sit down. And please don't blow this whole thing up.”

He opened the door. “Hey, honey, how are you?” They hugged at the door. “Look who's here.”

Danielle stepped in and stopped in her tracks when she saw Tamara.

“What the hell is she doing here? What are you doing here?” Danielle wanted to know.

“Danny, come on in,” Elliott said. “She came to see how I'm doing.”

“Why do you care how he's doing?” Danielle said. “What's going on?”

“Your father is my friend,” Tamara said. “I know he told you some story about trying to buy a car from him. But in reality, we're friends.”

“Dad…” Danielle said, turning to Elliott.

He smiled and shook his head. This moment was one he feared would not happen. It was awkward. And it made Elliott nervous. All the ground gained over the previous week could be ruined.

“Yes, Tamara and I are friends,” Elliot said.

“But what's that mean?” Danielle asked.

“It means—” Tamara started, but was cut off by Elliott.

“It means,” he said, “that we met and have seen each other a few times since then.”

“You're dating her?” his daughter asked.

“I was,” Elliott said.

“What do you mean you were?” Tamara interjected.

“What did I tell you a few minutes ago?” Elliott said.

“Wait a minute,” Danielle said. “I want to make sure I'm hearing this right. Tamara, you're dating my sixty-one-year-old father?”

“Yes, Danielle,” she said. “I didn't know he was your father until we saw you at Vanquish.”

“And that wasn't enough for you to stop seeing him?” Danielle said. She turned to her father. “That wasn't enough for you to stop seeing her?”

Neither of them answered because Danielle already knew the answer. “Danielle, I want to talk to you in private, after Tamara leaves,” he said.

“Yeah, and I want to talk to you, too,” she said. Then she turned to Tamara. “It's time for you to leave.”

“You don't say when I leave,” Tamara shot back.

“Oh, yes, she does,” Elliott said. He was determined to leave no ambiguity with Danielle.

“I met your mother on Monday night at the hospital,” Tamara said.

“So what? What does that have to do with anything?” Danielle asked.

“She seems like a nice woman,” Tamara said. “She told me she's in love with Elliott. She told me that in the bathroom. She sounded kind of desperate to me.”

“Desperate?” Danielle said. “My mother isn't desperate for anything. And you shouldn't be talking about my mother anyway. Just leave.”

“I'm leaving,” she said. “I came over to check on Elliott and let him know I got my passport so we can take my birthday trip he has planned.”

Elliott shook his head. Tamara was trying to bury him in his daughter's eyes.

“I can go anytime other than next week, Elliott,” she said before leaving. “No hug and a goodbye kiss? I understand. See you tomorrow.”

“Dad, I can't believe you,” Danielle said. She was close to crying but was too angry for tears to flow. “What are you doing running around with her?”