The One That Got Away (6 page)

Heidi:

The clock on my phone almost blinded me in the two a.m. darkness as Angela and I clambered into a cab, ready to head back to the flat. We were both a little worse for wear, and a whole lot giggly. It had been a while since either of us had the freedom to not only go out, but to not need worry about

limiting ourselves.

I was dead on my feet. Ang seemed to find a second wave of energy during the ride home once she heard a song from our old clubbing days. She talked the driver into turning up the radio and began to bounce around in her seat.

The look of relief on the driver’s face when he dropped us off outside Ang’s flat made me feel guilty, so I gave him a decent tip. One I wouldn’t have if I’d been sober. Neither of us was very steady on our feet while we stumbled across the damp grass toward the main door. We supported each other upstairs, trying to be quiet so as not to wake up any of her neighbours. Something that is always harder to do when drunk. All I remember after that is collapsing on the bed I’d been given for the night.

I woke up ten hours later.

“Breakfast?” Ang looked as rough as I felt, and was still in her pyjamas whilst frying bacon. I scowled at her for speaking too loud, but nodded my head gingerly.

“How long have you been up?” I asked her, sitting up and groaning at the pressure squeezing my head like a cook testing melons for ripeness.

“Twenty minutes. My mouth is drier than a nun’s knickers and my stomach thinks my throat’s been cut.” She had her priorities in order at least. “Kettle’s boiled for tea and bacon is pretty much done.”

I followed her into the kitchen to make two mugs of tea whilst she finished cremating the bacon into crispy perfection. We sat side-by-side in silence allowing the magical healing properties of caffeine and bacon grease to do their work, and within mere minutes of finishing, I could feel my hangover fading.

“You, my dear, are a wonderful woman,” I told Ang once I felt human enough to make conversation.

“It’s a burden I must bear.”

I laughed at her modesty. Coupled with the smudged eye make-up and bed hair, there was no way I could take her seriously.

“Much like yourself and the effect you have on the fellas we went to school with.”

The eye roll hurt my eyes, but it was worth it.

“Oh, come on! It wasn’t only Shane who was eyeing you up, lady.”

I didn’t want to get drawn into a conversation that would, no doubt, lead to Ang giving me the third degree about Shane, and what I thought the future held for us.

“I may be on my way to recovery, but I’m nowhere near ready for you to drill me about last night. I just want to bask in my orgasmic afterglow before I need to return to real life.” Ang opened her mouth to speak, but I cut her off. “Which happens to be over a hundred miles away from Shane Hughes.”

“Okay, I know when to shut up, but I will be wanting regular updates once you get back home. I know you two talk online, and I have no doubt that last night will be discussed.”

:: ::

A lack of energy throughout the rest of the day meant that neither of us moved much farther than the kitchen to make a drink. Or out onto the balcony for a smoke and a bit of fresh air.

“You know, I remember being able to go to work for an entire day on less than four hours sleep, and
then
have a night in the pub,” Ang commented as I emerged from a steaming hot shower, feeling a touch more human.

“Ah, those were the days, back when we were young and full of stamina. Getting old sucks.” I towel dried my hair, my back hurting as I bent to reach the underside.

“Wincing a little there. Aching a bit are we?” I’d expected the teasing to happen earlier in the day. “Not as bendy as you used to be, huh?” she continued.

“I’m plenty bendy I’ll have you know, but it’s not that kind of ache.” I turned around and lifted my top to show off the scratches on my back.

“Shit. That looks painful.”

I sat facing her once more, feeling a little sheepish. “It’s not that bad. It only hurts a little . . . oh, who am I kidding? It kills, but it was worth it.”

“Oh, I bet it was.” Ang leaned forward, waving her hand for me to continue talking.

“Nope. No details. I may have enjoyed myself, but I’m already beginning to feel a bit embarrassed about the whole thing.” I really was. I’d never been the type of girl who had one night stands; never mind one night stands with someone I knew wasn’t available. The more I thought about it, the cheaper the whole thing was becoming.

“Don’t you dare.” Her voice made me jump. “Don’t you dare beat yourself up about last night.”

“I’m not . . . not really.” I stood and walked out onto the balcony to light a cigarette, my thoughts in overdrive.
Had I done the wrong thing by having sex with Shane?
“I’m just beginning to regret my actions.”

“Why? He’s the one who’s in a relationship, not you. It’s not like you went to that party planning to fuck him. Yeah, you wanted to show him what he’d missed out on, but that doesn’t translate to ‘jump my bones’.” She was right.

“I know, I know.”

“Will you at least believe it?”

I smiled at her. “I’ll try.”

“That’s my girl.” She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and gave me a quick hug.

The original plan had been to stay in London a second night, but Ang had to pick her kids up early, so I decided to head back. I was looking forward to having a peaceful night at home, alone, which included a soak in a hot bath and relaxing in bed with a book. Ang and I made arrangements to meet up more often as I loaded my things into the boot of my car. It had been far too long since I’d seen her, and I’d loved spending time with her.

My long-time best friend disappeared back into the block of flats as I pulled away. I stopped at the junction at the end of her street to light a cigarette and to change the CD. Seconds before I was about to start on my journey again, my phone rang. I flicked the switch on the hands-free unit to answer while I drove toward the motorway.

“Hello?” I hadn’t checked the caller display, preferring to keep my eyes on the road rather than look at my sunshade where my phone was strapped.

“Hi, Heidi.”
Shane’s voice filled my car.

“Uh, hey, Shane. How’s the head?” I’d managed to get rid of my hangover otherwise I’d never have been able to drive. Just to be on the safe side, I pulled over before I reached the motorway, but left the engine running.

“Yeah, not bad, thanks. Listen, I was wondering if you fancy meeting for a coffee today before I leave to go home?”
Images of him pressing me up against the brick wall in the alley flashed through my mind.
“I promise not to ravish you against a wall.”

We both laughed, something I hadn’t expected to be able to do.

“Okay. Where do you want to meet?” I hoped I wouldn’t regret agreeing to his request as he told me about a small coffee shop not far from where I was sat in my idling car. “I’ll be there in about ten minutes.”

Nerves had my hands shaking a little in the late afternoon sunlight while I walked over to the small coffee shop. Shane was sat just inside the door at a table for two, steaming cups of coffee in front of him.

“Hey, got this for you.” He pushed one of the cups toward me when I sat down opposite him.

“Thanks. I may have slept for ten hours, but all caffeine is welcome.” Shane laughed, the rich, deep baritone of his voice washing over me. Every time I managed to talk myself out of my attraction to him, he would go and do something that not only reminded me of what had drawn me to him in the first place all those years ago, but now made me recall how it felt to have him inside me, have him kiss me like he meant it.

“I slept for a while, too, but was still up before midday. Mum thought I’d shit the bed.” That sounded about right. When we’d been together at school, I soon learned not to call the house until well after one p.m., at the earliest, on weekends.

“How is your mum?” I’d always got on well with Shane’s parents and his sister. They’d welcomed me with open arms whilst teasing Shane about us. Joanne, Shane’s sister, had once told me he never brought girls home and that their parents were over the moon when he’d introduced me to them. A fact I’d dwelled on in the months after his abrupt break up with me. I could never understand how it seemed they all wanted me there yet he was able to just . . . end it.

“She’s good. Her and Dad retired this year and are driving each other insane.” I smiled at the fondness in his words. “Dad’s taken up hobbies that need to be done in the shed, just to get out of her way when she decides the garden needs doing. Or if a room needs to be decorated.”

“Sounds like my parents, except Dad hides in the loft with his model soldiers.” I was beginning to wonder why he’d asked to meet. “Did you ask me to meet up so we could talk about our parents?” Leaning back in my chair, I made eye contact and smiled.

“Sorry, no. My train leaves in a couple of hours, and I wanted to make sure . . . I just wanted you to know . . .”

Flustered and tongue-tied wasn’t a state I’d ever seen Shane in before. It was endearing. I remained quiet, sipping my coffee, and waited for him to gather his thoughts and continue speaking.

“I need a refill, if you’ll excuse me. Do you want another?” he asked, still sounding unsure of himself.

Shaking my head in response, I had no idea what was going through his mind, but I was in no particular rush. He was the one on a deadline if he wanted to catch his train. I watched him stand in line, shuffling from one foot to the other, and realised he was nervous about something.

After a while, he re-joined me at our little round table. Still he was silent as he fiddled with his cup, stirring in the sugar. More than anything, I wanted to ask him what was on his mind, but knew he needed to work it out for himself.

He looked up at me and began to speak.

:: ::

Shane:

I’d been packing my stuff to start making my way home when Jo popped her head round my bedroom door.

“Did you see Heidi then?” She wasn’t one to beat around the bush when she was prying into my life.

“What makes you ask that?” I fussed with the zip of my bag as an excuse not to turn and look at her.

“Well, I heard she was going to the reunion, and seeing you in the good mood you were in this morning after a night on the lash, I put two and two together. The only time you’ve ever had that look on your face was when you were with Heidi.” Damn her for knowing me far too well, and for remembering stuff from years ago.

“Yeah, we chatted. There was a fair amount of people there. I talked to a lot of them. It was great to catch up.”

“Bullshit. Something happened between the two of you, I can tell.” She sat on my bed, obviously not planning on letting it drop any time soon. “Shane, I saw how happy you were when the two of you were together, and I also saw how crushed both of you were when you pulled that idiot move and ended it with her. Over the phone no less.” She’d softened her voice, so I knew she was serious. “If Heidi hadn’t been going, you’d have brought Mel up with you, but you didn’t. I just know something happened.”

“Mel couldn’t get the time off work, plus she wasn’t interested in spending an evening with my old school mates.” It was the lie I’d told everyone. Being the manager of the clothes shop she worked at, Mel could easily have given herself the time off. I had told her not to bother because she’d be bored. If I was being honest with myself, though, I’d have admitted I didn’t want her meeting Heidi, even though Mel knew nothing about her.

“Sure. I can tell you’re not going to tell me the truth, so I’ll leave you to finish up here. But know this, you went last night with an ulterior motive about Heidi. I hope it was worth it. Just don’t rush into anything with either her or Mel.” She smiled wryly at me and left the room.

I sat on my bed and pulled my phone out of my pocket. Was Jo right? Had I planned on something happening between Heidi and me? Did I go to the reunion looking for it?

I scrolled through the contacts on my phone, planning to call Mel to let her know I’d be on my way home soon, but stopped at Heidi’s name. She’d disappeared before I could speak to her again. This led me to worry that she thought I’d only gone to the reunion in the hopes that we’d do exactly what we’d done. Before I could talk myself out of it, I hit the call button and waited for her to answer.