The One That I Want (17 page)

My stomach sank. So he was glad to be with her after all. And the mistake he told me he’d made was . . . getting close to
me
?

Which meant that I hadn’t been imagining things. He
had
liked me.

And somehow I had blown it.

I looked up at Carter. “Good night.”

“Good night,” he said, hardly glancing at me. He stared at Max and Addison.

They parted and opened their eyes. Max glanced at us through the back window. They exchanged what must have been one last whispered declaration of love, and Addison scooted out of the passenger side and walked up the sidewalk to Carter. “I’ll call you,” she lied to me.

Carter and Max didn’t even wave to each other.

I shuffled down the sidewalk, climbed through the door Addison had left open, and closed it behind me. I faced forward, watching in the side mirror as Addison and Carter hike slowly back up the street.

Max started the car and pulled into traffic.

The silence was excruciating. Even the radio was off.

He finally broke the silence when he turned the car into my neighborhood. “We should plan something really special for your birthday next Thursday. We can go out then, since we all have the game on Friday.” His words were sweet, but he enunciated them with fake emotion, like he was reading off a cue card.

“Yes,” I said in the same tone. “That—sounds—like—fun!”

He glared at me across the car. “Why are you so mad?”

“I’m not mad.”

“You’ve been mad since I kissed Addison.” He sounded proud of himself. When I looked over, I caught a glimpse of the smug expression on his face before he could wipe it off.

“I have not been mad at you,” I said haughtily. “You’re
supposed
to kiss a girl when you’re on a date with her.”

“So you’re relieved that I’m finally kissing your friend,” he prompted me.

Now I was exasperated. “Yes! Sure. I’m totally monitoring your love life, Max. The two of you have such great chemistry. I know this relationship is going to last forever.”

He pulled into my driveway. As soon as the car stopped, I got out, slammed the door, and stomped across the yard to my house without once looking back. This time I didn’t care whether my mom had heard the front door slam. She wasn’t paying attention anyway.

The following Thursday, I received lots of
presents for my birthday:

1. An actual birthday card from Robert, not a sympathy card or a Grandparents Day card.

2. A vintage bracelet from the store I’d visited with Delilah. She’d seen me admiring it. I hugged her hard because she was so sweet to notice what I liked—and because she was careful not to give it to me when Addison was around. We hadn’t talked about my rocky relationship with Addison, but Delilah must have known things were difficult between us, and she didn’t want to make matters worse.

3. A cool beaded necklace from Addison. She seemed genuinely happy when she gave it to me. I could almost ignore the fact that she waited to hand it to me until we were in a crowd, so they could see her being nice to me. Good public relations for her head majorette–elect campaign.

4. A funky patterned baton bag from the majorettes, embroidered with my name. So sweet! And just my style.

5. A text from Carter saying that Max and Addison would not be joining us for our date that night. Carter would meet me at the mall for an early movie, since it was a school night.

It was my
sixteenth birthday
. It was supposed to be my special day. Something so horrible could not be happening! At first I did not want to believe it, and I grasped for alternate explanations. Just because the text
said
it was from Carter didn’t mean it
was
. After seeing him three times, I still didn’t have his number in my phone.

But when I caught Addison on the football field, she verified the message. Max had texted her to say he couldn’t go after all. She fumed because she’d gotten a manicure just for this. It burned me up inside to think that she was worried about her nails, but she never once wondered if something was wrong with Max.

Maybe I
had
read him right last Friday. He really had gotten up close and personal with Addison because he was jealous of Carter and me. He was so into me that he couldn’t stand for us to go out as a group anymore. He couldn’t take another night of watching me with Carter.

If so, what should I do about it now?

I would get the chance soon enough to probe Carter about why Max was missing.

In the meantime, right after school, my mom took me to get another birthday gift:

6. My license.

I hadn’t been nervous. I’d practically memorized the study guide for the written test. I’d driven enough that I knew I could pass the road test—and after all, who would dare to flunk the chick driving the Aston Martin?

It wasn’t until I drove home that it hit me: I could drop off my mom and keep driving by myself!

But I couldn’t do that just yet, because I had to get ready for my date with Carter! Bleh.

At home, I opened the first of the four garage doors and very carefully drove the Aston Martin inside. The powerful engine roared even louder in the enclosed space, and I nearly hit the accelerator instead of the brake. In the adjoining garage space, which was usually empty, sat:

7. A brand-new, bright-red Mercedes.

“Is that for me?” I breathed.

My mom nodded, grinning at me. Tears glistened in the corners of her eyes.

“Oh, Mom, thank you!” I threw my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

“Don’t thank me,” she said. “Your father had it delivered while we were gone.”

I tried to maintain my smile as I crossed the space between the cars. Finally I resorted to the majorette grin. The car was gorgeous and I should be grateful. I
was
grateful, but it was hard to be happy when my dad’s gift-giving followed such a predictable pattern. He bought expensive cars for women he didn’t care about, to keep them off his back.

I opened the heavy door and slid behind the wheel. The interior was white leather. Addison was going to get pink bubblegum on it, and the residue would not come off. I could see it now.

The key was in the ignition. Attached to it was a red ribbon with a handwritten note:

Come see me in Hilton Head.

I was glad my mom had gone inside the house to give me a moment alone with my car. My face probably looked like I was changing into a werewolf as I stared at the note and experienced every emotion I’d ever felt about my dad cheating on my mom and leaving us both.

The idea of driving over to Hilton Head by myself excited me. I was nearly floored by a wave of wanting to hug my dad again and spend a Sunday watching pro football with him. But his girlfriend would be there, and that meant a lot of awkward conversations and strained silences. Kind of like going on a date with Carter.

Well, I owed my dad at least a thank-you for the car. I called him. Holding the phone to my ear, I leaned forward until my head rested on the steering wheel. I listened to the rings and then a recording of his voice, and I left a message.

It was almost time for my date, so I ran inside to grab a sandwich and change. I’d planned to wear my new-to-me bowling shirt, knowing Max would love it. And now he wasn’t coming.

I slipped it on anyway and tied a chiffon scarf around my neck for good measure. I knew Carter would hate it, but I was not going to change for him.

I popped my head into my mom’s office to say good-bye, ran downstairs, and backed out of the garage in
my car
. I stopped at the mailbox just to check it for cards from my grandmas.

8. Score! Two sweet cards, both with birthday bucks. But there was also:

9. A small, flat package from Max.

Heart going wild, I ripped it open. Inside was a CD. Awww, he had made me a mix CD! I glanced over the song titles, which he’d carefully lettered onto the cover in small, sharp handwriting that seemed so him. Most were birthday rock songs. A few were apology songs. One was a Dolly Paranoids song. I sang through it in my mind, listening for some hidden meaning in the lyrics, like Max was sorry he had chosen the wrong girl to ask out. But I was pretty sure the whole song was about cow tipping.

I opened the case to slip the CD into my player. Inside was a note:
See you tonight!
So, at least when Max had mailed the package, he’d still been planning to come. I wondered again why he had backed out. I hoped he wasn’t sick. But I was about to find out.

I drove to the mall and parked in the lot. The evening sun shone too bright. The asphalt had half melted in the late summer heat. I felt queasy, but what was I going to do? I had told Addison I liked Carter. I had told
Max
I liked Carter. It made no sense for me to cancel a date with Carter just because the guy I actually liked was not showing up.

Carter waited for me on a bench outside the multiplex theater. Predictably, his blond brows knitted when he saw me. His head moved up and down, like if he took in my outfit from another angle, he might understand why I was wearing a pink bowling shirt. Beside him on the bench sat:

10. A teddy bear from one of those stores where you made it yourself so you could personalize it to your own tastes, if you were five, or to the tastes of your girlfriend, if you thought she was five. I had been to birthday parties there when I was little. I knew there were lots of animals to choose from, with various clothes and wigs. In fact, there was probably a purple hair option and a majorette costume in there somewhere, but what did I get? A plain brown bear wearing a T-shirt that said
I LOVE YOU
.

Those three words made me ill. It was the sweetest sentiment, but not one that I shared. As I sat beside Carter on the bench and he kissed me hello, I couldn’t imagine he felt that way either. We had never said
I love you
to each other, and yet he was giving it to me on a bear?

I was being petty, which made me mad at myself, which made me more upset. And lest I try to accept the bear graciously and then hide it away forever, it was
huge
, the largest size. Instead of me, Carter, Addison, and Max on my birthday date, it was me, Carter, and taxidermy.

“Aw, Carter,” I managed. I did not say,
It’s so cute!
because I didn’t want to encourage this sort of thing.

He hardly acknowledged my answer. “Good,” he said. Mission accomplished, job over. He stood up and held his hand out to me. “Let’s go.”

As we walked toward the theater entrance, I asked casually, “So, why couldn’t Max come?”

Carter frowned down at me. “Our football team had a scrimmage game at school this afternoon. It didn’t go well.”

I went cold in the hot evening. “You mean he got hurt?”

Carter shrugged. “I think the only thing hurt was his pride.”

I was dying to know what had really happened, but I let it go. I didn’t think I could pry the truth out of Carter. I would have to get the story from Max.

Carter and I had the most difficult time carrying on a conversation. Truthfully, a lot of the blame rested with me. I had plenty to tell him. I’d gotten great gifts from my friends, my driver’s license, and a frickin’ Benz. But I was afraid that if I mentioned my car, he would want to see it, which would drag the date out longer. I never said a word.

He chose the movie. He didn’t ask me what I wanted to see, and I didn’t realize that he’d chosen without asking me or that he was paying my way until he produced our tickets. It was a slasher film, my very least favorite. He had tried to do something nice for my birthday, but this was not a gift I wanted.

After he handed over the tickets at the door, he went straight to the concessions line without asking me whether I wanted anything. I didn’t. And if I had, I could have bought it myself. Not sure whether he wanted me to stay with him or go away, I waited half a step behind him, edging forward when he advanced in the line. We didn’t talk. After he ordered, he turned from the counter holding a vat of soda and a barrel of popcorn. That was par for his usual appetite, so I didn’t think much of it.

But after the three of us had settled in our seats—the bear needed one of his own—Carter held the popcorn over the armrest between us, invading my personal space with the warm, buttery aroma, and shook the tub. “Have some.”

“No, thanks,” I said quickly. I wasn’t hungry. At all.

“What do you mean, no thanks? It cost a fortune.”

I was stunned. At least the previews were already rolling, so we had an excuse not to argue. I heard Max’s voice in my head: I did not like complicated relationships. Maybe I should complicate this one by telling Carter that he shouldn’t buy me something I didn’t want, then act resentful about it and blame the waste of money on me. But Carter should know this already. And I didn’t want to point it out to him, because that might extend our date.

As the movie began, I let my mind wander so I wouldn’t have to watch it. I wondered whether Carter had started the argument as an excuse not to kiss me. Because he didn’t touch me during the film. Not once.

Finally the credits rolled. Carter placed the popcorn container on the floor. It was empty. He stood and stretched himself to ten or eleven feet. I was about to launch into an excuse for why I needed to leave when he said, “Wow, I’m really beat after our scrimmage today. I hope you don’t mind, but I think I’m going to call it a night.”

“Oh, that’s okay!” I said, trying not to sound ecstatic. We walked outside without another word. Pausing at the edge of the parking lot, we and the bear hugged awkwardly, with no kiss.

I said, “Thanks.”

He said, “Happy birthday.”

The bear and I walked to the Benz. I looked around to make sure Carter wasn’t watching me from across the parking lot, then put the bear in the trunk.

Back in the car, I picked up the envelope Max had sent my CD in and plugged the return address into the GPS on the dashboard. I was surprised at the results. His house and mine were only ten minutes apart. A lot closer than my house and Addison’s.