Read The Only Choice (The Choices Trilogy #3) Online
Authors: Dee Palmer
Tags: #The Choices Trilogy, #Book Three
I sniff back the tears with a laugh and continue to nod. “Yes Daniel I’ll marry you.”
“Yeah you will.” He stands and covers my mouth with his sweet soft lips and for now I am glad he is back to treating me like I’m made of glass because there is not an inch of me that doesn’t hurt. Well, except my heart because that only hurts because it wants to burst for the first time in a long time. I don’t remember him pulling away, I must have fallen asleep during the kiss. It felt so good I just let myself drift and fall knowing he was there to catch me, would always catch me. When I open my eyes the room is much darker, I don’t have the disorientation I did when I first woke up. I know exactly where I am, I know exactly what happened and I know exactly who is lying in a tiny made up bed beside me. His on his side facing me, his dark hair flopped over his face, his eyes closed but even resting and covered in shadow I can see the exhaustion and seriousness edging his handsome features. His eyes open and instantly the smile that creeps across softens and lightens his face and my heart. “Hey.” His deep voice soothes and tingles. He lifts his head a little and tucks his arm under to rest it at an elevated angle.
“Hey.” I whisper back not sure who I am trying not to disturb. My voice sounds less croaky and doesn’t feel so raw. “Shouldn’t you still be in your own bed, you still have a band on your wrist so I assume you haven’t actually been discharged yet?”
“There is nothing they need to do to me that they can’t do right here. I’m a little sore but I haven’t had major surgery or lost nearly my own body weight in blood.” He grins and flashes his killer smile. “They had a fucking fight not letting me see you sooner when you were still unconscious so I’d like to see them try and keep me away from you now.”
In that case I pat the bed for him to join me but narrow my eyes when he shakes his head. “I think you said something about
‘not keeping away?’”
I try to shift over but stop and take a sharp breath at the first attempt at movement. He is instantly at my side.
“Ok Ok you win but don’t move. I’ll just wrap around you.” He lets out a defeated sigh but smiles when he sees my smile.
“It’s not a game, I don’t care about winning. I just want you.” I lean my head into his chest, his arm awkwardly resting over my head and him rolled on his side, his heat and body just the right kind of medicine. He kisses my hair and whispers.
“No more games, just you and me and a shit load of trust.” I can feel his steady thump of his heart and his soft breath against my hair. The calm makes me think he has fallen asleep but then he speaks again. “Just to clarify, I didn’t mean no more games in the bedroom—”
“Ow ow,” I cry out because my sudden laugh hurts like hell.
“Sorry baby.” He chuckles, deep and throaty. “But there is no way I’m giving up playtime with you. I fucking love playtime with you.” His gravelly tone has just ignited a surge of nerves previously numb with pain killers and by the feel of his smile against my head he knows it.
When I wake next it is because the nurse is changing my IV, the room is bright. Daniel is sitting beside me looking fresh, clean and a little too hot to be good for my recovery. I feel better, I mean I feel like I’ve been hit with a truck but I feel better despite that. Once the nurse leaves Daniel is again by my side and I get the feeling it has been like that whether I am awake or not. He leans in to kiss my cheek and steps to the side, still holding my hand. My eyes meet Ethans’ and his sadness stops my smile before it takes hold. Tom is beside him with his hand on his sons shoulder for comfort. I guess I must still look pretty shocking, I can see Tom push Ethan forward and I am so confused. Daniel leans in to whisper that Ethan blames himself for Kit and now I’m really confused. Daniel excuses himself and I reach my hand to Ethan which he takes reluctantly.
“Hey.” I exhale and smile but it does nothing to ease the obvious tension.
“Bets, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. God, I didn’t know who she was . . . I thought . . . I believed she—” His eyes are liquid brown and the tears fall and break my heart for him and for Kit.
“Ethan, please,” I grip his hand tightly. “It’s not your fault and she
did.
” His eyes snap to mine, angry and hurt with betrayal. I just hope I can make him understand, make him believe. “Kit . . . she really liked you. I know she did, she may have had a different agenda to start with, but that changed. You changed her.” He just shakes his head with disbelief. “Ethan listen to me, if she didn’t really like you . . . if you hadn’t made her see that there was
more
she never would have tried to help me. She never would’ve changed her mind. Please don’t believe she didn’t have true feelings for you because for the first time in her life I believe she did and I am grateful you made her happy and she
was
happy. For a little while she was my sister and I never thought that was possible.”
He wipes his eyes on the back of his hand. “But if it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t have got to you.” His voice breaks and Tom steps up and rests his hand on his shoulder again.
“Don’t flatter yourself” I try to laugh lightly and manage a little noise before the pain. “Kit was very resourceful; she really didn’t need you for that. I’m sorry if you think you could’ve prevented what happened but believe me you couldn’t. Ask Daniel, Kit on her own is . . . was a force to be reckoned with but with Angel . . .” I sigh and let the enormity of my timely escape wash over me. “I know I’m lucky to be here.” Tom steps beside Ethan and takes my other hand. I hold Ethan’s sorrowful gaze. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this because I can see how upset you are and that kills me, but I’m not sorry you fell for Kit. If you hadn’t been you and you hadn’t shown her how you felt about her, made her feel the same, I know I wouldn’t be here, my baby wouldn’t be here. So don’t beat yourself up for saving me and don’t beat yourself up for having feelings for Kit. She may not have deserved you to start with but she risked her life for me and she definitely deserved you in the end. She deserved a better end.” He closes his eyes and I hope he is taking in my words of comfort because they are all true. I can see by Tom’s expression that he is just as upset but his shoulders relax a little as I finished speaking. He squeezes Ethan’s shoulder and his warm eyes wrinkle with gratitude as he looks at me. He places his hands over both of ours.
“Bethany . . . I have no words. I know you must have been through hell and this is selfish of me but I have only just got you in my life . . . if . . . if anything had happened I know I would’ve lost both of you. Ethan lost it when he got the call from Marco. I could feel him slipping—”
“Dad. .not now.” Ethan tries to shrug it off.
“It’s true Ethan . . . It’s not like I haven’t seen it happen before . . . Bethany you are part of us, a part of our family, so precious. And you two are my life and for a moment . . . a moment I don’t ever want to live through again . . . I thought I had lost you. Just don’t ever do that again . . . Ok?” His kind smile is filled with love and relief.
“Ok” I agree and give Ethan and extra squeeze which he acknowledges with a tentative smile.
We stay like that for a little while, it’s not awkward and I think we all feel the need to draw comfort from each other. Tom is the first to break the quiet when he notices my eyelids droop. He bends down to kiss my cheek.
“Bethany. .” He bites his lip and forces a tight smile. “I’m so happy you are. . . .” He clears his throat and I smile, this heavily emotional situation seems to have us all a little tongue tied.
“I know . . . me too.” I offer to help him out and he returns my smile and kisses me once more before stepping back to allow Ethan to do the same. Ethan holds my hand but has trouble holding my gaze. This is really hard but I think it’s just going to take time and what he needs to understand is that because of him and Daniel, that is exactly what I have now, time.
A FEW DAYS
pass and I feel much stronger. I can eat by myself and Marco has brought in some of my favourite pasta dishes from the restaurant, delicate and tasty and a welcome change from the bland dishes of the past five weeks. Daniel has been officially discharged but is constantly at my side, something I didn’t want as I gave my statement to the police. I could see his knuckles whiten with anger and half way through it was evident he wasn’t coping quite as well as I was with the retelling. It was hard but it was over and that’s what I focused on but when the police finally finished and Daniel was quiet for so long I started to worry.
“Have I done something wrong?” The silence is broken and he looks startled at the interruption and shocked at my question.
“Why the fuck would you think that?” His tone is stern and he walks to my side gently picking up my hand which is now free of wires.
“You know we are both going to have to watch our language.” I meant it as a joke but I draw in a stuttered breath when I think of how I was reprimanded by Angel for swearing.
“Hey . . . forget that Ok, this isn’t about her.” His eyes hold mine and I know he knows what I’m thinking. He has just heard the crazy fucked up story in tortuous detail. “I’m sorry, I just didn’t know that every time I questioned her, she came and beat the shit out of you. That she did it because she was mad at me. I fucking hate myself for what she did to you.”
I laugh because I think we have been through enough to ever need to start self-flagellation, we are neither of us blameless in this. “Oh believe me I hated you too but lucky for me . . . no mirrors.” I wink and he throws his head back and laughs pulling me into a tight hug that doesn’t make me scream. “All that changes today though. I am taking my first bath and I am walking myself there.” I say with a good deal of pride, he cocks his brow like he is impressed. “Just as soon as Sofia comes with my stuff.”
“I can help you, you don’t need Sofia.” He almost growls like I have insulted his manhood.
“Daniel, I’m filthy.” I moan and then snicker at his obvious salacious grin.
“Oh baby, don’t tempt me.” He leans in and plants tender kisses along my collar bone and up to just below my ear. “But I’m helping you, end of.” He sucks on the soft flesh and I feel the familiar draw of heat in my core, it feels normal, it feels welcome, it feels delicious and I moan my appreciation. Sofia barges in cooling the instant heat that has return with vengeance between us and drops her Louis Vuitton Tote bag on the end of my bed. There is a fight over who is helping and I have to credit Sofia and her fiery self for standing up to Daniel in all his intimidating glory but I negotiate a compromise. Sofia is helping me in the bathroom and after some girlie time Daniel will help me with the bath.
My walk to the bathroom feels like my own personal marathon and I have Daniel on one side, a nurse on the other and Sofia hovering front and back. I am glad Sofia is here, really its best friend above and beyond but there is no shame in wanting to retain a little mystery in my relationship with Daniel. Even if I am not doing anything remotely mysterious in the bathroom. I stand and Sofia unties my gown. I have a clear plastic film covering my wound which is badly bruised and dark with dried blood and healing tissue. The scar looks nasty, my tummy is swollen and looks misshaped against my obvious weight loss elsewhere but I can’t help but cry out when I see myself in the full length mirror behind the door. It is only for a second before it flies open and Daniel is standing in its place. I feel my legs buckle and Daniel’s arms are around me, supporting my weight before I fall and I am crying, crying like a big girl.
“Hey hey what’s the matter? Are you hurt? Did you hurt yourself?” His words are trying to sooth but they are edged with panic and he looks to Sofia for help. I continue to sob and shake my head, my ugly head. The image was only fleeting, my face looks drawn, dark eyes and yellowing bruises on my cheeks and chin. The shock was enough without the result of my losing battle with Angel’s knife. My hair, clumps of short cropped hair sticking up like its allergic to my scalp, tufty long straggles she missed and uneven bob length pieces showcase my ordeal to perfection. I am hideous and no one said a damn word.
I manage to sob into his chest as he has me pressed tight, one arm around my waist one hand cupping the back of my head. “I look . . . I loo. .” I sob the words, more sound than speech. “My hair, my face, my . . . my body.” My sobs muffle into his shirt.