The Only Choice (The Choices Trilogy #3) (9 page)

“We are not doing this now.” His deep voice is strained and he pushes the tip of his cock against my folds, smoothly moving up and down the slick sensitive tissue causing my thighs to quiver. I throw my head back and whimper because I need to feel him more than my next breath, more than my sanity and certainly more than my timid common sense which didn’t stand a chance against this desire consuming every fibre of my being. He pushes deeper and we both exhale on a guttural moan. He moves further up the sofa taking me with him, pushing deeper, getting closer. I find my fingers gripping his hard unforgiving muscles on his back pulling him closer; needing his weight, his dominance, needing him. One hand strokes my cheek, tilting my chin firmly so he can kiss me without fear of rebuttal, not that I could. I couldn’t deny him a single thing right now. I cry as he pushes deeper, changing his angle and using his other hand to grip my knee moving it higher to get just that little bit deeper and he does. Christ, I choke out a scream as he touches something so deep it sets my core alight, sending fire sizzling through my nerve endings and leaving me a panting trembling wreck.

“Oh fuck, ah . .ah yes God, yes.” I exhale, limp and quivering. He looks down into my eyes with a wicked smirk.

“We are going to keep doing this until you remember to ask for permission to come.” He kisses me lightly on the nose and pulls his hips back and plunges hard causing a sharp cry in the back of my throat. My breath is ragged, my skin a slick sheen of fresh perspiration and my muscles are in a constant state of nervous twitching, alert and exhausted in equal measure. He leans up on one elbow and takes one hand to where we are joined. His thumb sweeping small delicate circles on my exposed nub of nerves and sensing the instant build of pressure he drives deep again, relentless and hard. All the time he lunges and grinds, pushing my body like an expert, talented and intuitive he holds my eyes with his dark pools of liquid lust and passion, raw and real. He takes my breath away and he’s going to make me come, again. I cry out this time.

“Please, please sir . . . please may I come?” My frantic plea is almost too late as I can feel the ripple of contractions begin at the base of my spine. He chuckles knowing how close I am.

“Oh you do like living on the edge.” He slows the tortuous roll of his hips and I can see he is struggling too as beads of perspiration gather and fall in rivulets down his temples. “Come for me.” He whispers and I let go before he finishes his consent. He throws his head back on an animalistic roar so loud. I am for the first time glad he has cleared the office floor. Following me with his own release he sinks deep and collapses onto me pushing my breath from my body with his weight.

WE LAY ENTWINED
and immobile for, I’m not sure how long and I would still be there if Daniel hadn’t moved and carefully carried me to his bathroom. I watch silently as he readies the shower and strips the rest of his clothes. My body is too exhausted and my mind too frazzled to process how I feel but I am looking forward to that shower. Clouds of billowing steam rise and mist the glass of the shower door and the mirrors on the walls. He holds my hand and leads me in, standing, held in his arms as the hot rods of water pummel my aching bones and I sigh because I think I must be in heaven. He takes some soap in his hands and begins to massage and wash my tired body, delicately worshiping every inch and I can feel my eyes pool when I realise I am actually in hell. This is too much . . . it has to stop. He has to stop. “Blue.” I struggle to mumble my safe word because it sticks in my throat and the noise of the shower muffles the sound.

“What’s that baby?” He still has one arm wrapped around my waist as he cleanses me with the other and he leans his ear to my mouth. I am glad the water is hiding the tears I can now feel flow freely down my cheeks.

“Blue.” I repeat and everything stops. He steps back, hands in the air like I have a gun to his chest. An interesting analogy, because he blasted my heart to smithereens when he walked away last week. His jaw clenches as does his fists but he turns, leaves the shower and leaves the bathroom without a word. I sink to the floor, my cries drowned out by the noise of the falling water. What the fuck was I thinking; that I could be that detached I could just fuck him without feeling something, without having all this hurt just heaped upon me once more. I’m not a robot and nothing’s changed. He didn’t even want to see me. If I hadn’t pulled that little stunt would I have even seen him again, ever? He has enough gatekeepers to keep me away. Would I have found another way? Surely I can’t be that desperate. God I hope I am never
that
desperate. He made his choice and I remind myself that if it wasn’t for him steeling my idea and risking my future I wouldn’t be here. Fuck, I don’t want to make a fool of myself any more than I have already. I need to get my shit sorted and I need to get out of here.

I open the door to the office still towel drying my hair. Daniel is pacing angrily, running his hand through his own wet hair with badly hidden agitation. He stops and faces me, his face a picture of fury. “It’s pretty fucking insulting that you think I would be fucking someone else, you know that right?” His angry voice is loud and as an indignant edge. “I mean, wouldn’t you be insulted if I threw that in your face or asked if you’d had your contraceptive shot; treated you like some irresponsible tramp. Fuck! You’d be more than insulted you’d rightly rip my bollocks off, so why?” He swallows to calm his raging runaway temper, dragging his hand through his hair once more. His voice is softer. “How could you ask that?” His eyes are deep blue and hold a wealth of love and longing. I walk over to him and take his hands just as they are about to repeat their hair dragging journey.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to piss you off but not to state the bloody obvious but we aren’t together so I can’t make any assumptions. You can’t make any assumptions. It was the smart thing to do. ” I nod because in light of his accusation I have a cold tingle down my spine knowing that although I may not be a tramp, I am irresponsible. “Daniel, you wouldn’t see me, you wouldn’t even take my call. Why would I
not
think you’ve moved on?” My voice is shaky and I have to swallow back the building threat of tears. “Why wouldn’t you take my call?” It’s his turn to roughly pull his hands and turn away.

“I don’t work that way I told you that. This way it’s easier. Cleaner.” His cold words are clinical and precise as a scalpel.

“Oh well that’s good to know, wouldn’t want to make a mess.” I snap with as much contempt as I can manage.

“This whole thing is a fucking mess and that’s not what I meant. It’s too fucking hard. It has to be like this for now.” He puts his head in his hands and I can almost hear his teeth grind then his head suddenly snaps up his eyes narrowed with suspicion. “What did you mean I couldn’t make assumptions? Are you fucking someone else?” He snaps.

“Look I don’t have to do this with you!” I snap right back. “We.Are.Not.Together.YOU.LEFT.ME.” He fixes me with his enraged glare but unflinching I hold his contact. He shakes his head, walks toward me, takes my hand and leads me to the sofa. I pull my hand from his hold and he grabs it right back with a grumble.

“Why did you safe word Bethany?” The fury has vanished and he is again full of concern. I deal much better with the anger. After some long silent moments and some resigned sighs I answer the only way I think will explain.

“Self-preservation.” He lets me take my hand this time. He huffs but doesn’t try to take it back.

“I should have told you about your safety project. I just wanted to get it started, these things are often time sensitive and I didn’t want you missing out. I should have told you from the start but it was easier to make the application under my R&D company banner and transfer it over to you once it was all certified. That will still happen.” His calm assurance and dismissive tone is like this is just a natural way of things and should automatically mitigate any misunderstanding on my part.

I am not even surprised he never asked or that he never told me and I don’t even care anymore. It was my project now it isn’t. How or when it gets to market will have little to do with me so I may as well let it go now. Less I have to do with Daniel the more protected my heart will be. I don’t want to come across as a martyr by walking away from something he knew was important so I will just let it go when the time comes. What is important is my course and the accusation that Chris Taylor made about my credibility.

“Fine.” I nod and leave that for another day. “I don’t want this to impact on my course.”

His brows furrow and he looks confused. “Why would it?”

I snort and shake my head. “Well, it could be inferred that since this project is a Stone application and the date was long before I came on the scene, some may think I stole it. I can’t have that suggestion shadowing any of my course work. You have a connection with the University and they are more likely to believe you. I just can’t risk losing this too.” My voice waivers and damn I can feel my eyes prickle. He grasps my hands again.

“I wouldn’t do that Bethany, never, believe me. I would never lie to you.” His voice is sincere but it doesn’t prevent the bitter laugh that escapes my tight lips. He scowls.

“Well you have me there Daniel.” I pull my hands again and stand. “I will have to believe you about this. There is nothing else I can do I’m just a lowly student but don’t start with a lie because it really doesn’t fill me with a whole heap of confidence.” I walk to the door but just as I open he rushes and slaps his hand flat slamming it shut.

“When did I lie to you?” He growls. We are silent for long moments before I reply.

“You said you’d never hurt me.” My voice is quiet and he freezes at my words allowing me to open the door and walk through. I am surprised that he follows me to the lifts, he is close but silent. I lean to press the button and notice something flutter to the ground. Daniel bends to pick it up.

“Why the fuck do you have Jason’s business card?” He waves the card in my face and I try to take it but he pulls it away out of my reach.

“He was being kind, he wanted me to have it.” I sigh, exhausted and not needing another fight.

“Oh I just bet he did.” His tone ripe with sarcasm.

“How is it any different from your ‘friend’ getting my details from Colin exactly?” It appears I do have some strength after all.

“I told you I didn’t discuss my personal life and I meant it. There is no fucking way Colin would give your details to anyone and that includes Jason. You are not to see him Bethany.” His clipped demand is filled with anger.

Oh I can feel my hackles rise, my back straightens and I have fire in my eyes as I challenge. “Really? Well it’s a good job it has fuck all to do with you.” I jab my finger on the lift call button because it is taking forever.

“He has particular tastes . . . he—” He can’t seem to finish his sentence. God he looks furious, frustrated, mixed with anxious.

“—I know Daniel, I was there remember?” At last the lift arrives I hold out my hand for him to give me Jason’s card but he very childishly tears it up with a smirk on his face. I let out a frustrated puff and walk into the waiting lift.

“No matter.” Turning, I smile indulgently. “Lucky for me Jason
does
take my calls.” The lift doors close and I grin. Ok, now that was childish, but damn it felt good.