The Only Shark In The Sea (The Date Shark Series Book 3) (3 page)

“Why?” she asked. The fear in her eyes pulled at him, but he couldn’t back down.

“Guy calls me in when he thinks one of his clients needs more counseling than what he can provide to overcome an event or experience that’s keeping them from having a normal relationship.” He paused again, taking in her panicked expression. “I know that idea scares you, but I want to make you a deal.”

Her breathing was escalating, but she was still keeping it under control for the moment. He didn’t push her, and after a few minutes, she asked, “What kind of deal?”

The breath he had been holding since voicing the offer slipped out of him slowly. “The deal is, you don’t have to tell me anything about your past that you don’t want to, but you would come to see me at my practice twice a week.”

“Why would I come see you if we’re not going to discuss my past?” She seemed genuinely confused by the offer.

“Because we’re not going to work on your past until you’re ready. In the meantime, we’ll work on trust instead.”

Natalie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean by that.”

Resting his elbows on the table, Vance leaned toward her. “I won’t question you about what made you scared of other people and unable to trust them, but learning how to trust people around you is a good first step. At my office, you’ll be in a safe environment, and you’ll be in control.”

“How will I be in control?” she asked.

Vance held back a smile, glad she was at least considering it. “You’ll be the one to choose the topics.”

“What if I don’t want to talk about anything?”

“Then we’ll eat lunch, I suppose,” he said with a shrug. “I’m assuming you’ll need to come during your lunch break since you’re not going to ask for time off, because that would require speaking to someone at work and explaining the reason, right?”

She nodded slowly. “I’m still…I can’t…” She bit her bottom lip again. “I can’t be alone in a room with you.” Her fingers began trembling as she said it, and Vance knew there was no way he was going to get her to change her mind.

Sitting back, Vance took a moment to consider his options. He wanted to help Natalie. She seemed like a lovely woman, but she had zero chance of ever having a normal relationship at this point. She needed help, and he felt like he was up to the task, but this was going to have to be done on her terms. An idea occurred to him after a while, but he sighed as he contemplated it. Stephanie was not going to be happy at all.

Chapter 3

The Way

Staring at her computer screen, Natalie couldn’t even force herself to focus on her work. She’d been staring at the clock in the bottom right corner of her screen for the past hour. If she was going to leave, she had to do it soon, or she’d never make it in time. Getting up and walking out should have been a simple thing, but it was far from it.

Natalie survived her work day by being invisible. She came in early, snuck into her office before anyone else arrived, and stayed there until the end of the day when everyone else had gone home. Only the occasional, unavoidable meeting pulled her out of her safe haven. Others left for lunch, or at least went to the break room. Natalie brought her lunch every day, and even had a small microwave tucked away on top of a filing cabinet so she never had to venture into the kitchen. Leaving her office during lunch meant having to make it all the way downstairs without talking to or touching anyone. Natalie felt sick to her stomach just thinking about it.

Jumping when the alarm on her phone went off, she could only stare at it as her heart raced. She had to leave. Now. Fighting back her fears, Natalie pushed her chair back. It rolled smoothly across the carpet, unfortunately. Standing took even more effort. When she finally made it to the door of her office, she couldn’t bring herself to touch the handle.

The alarm sounded a second time. Her hand leapt forward, almost of its own free will, and grasped the handle.
Turn it. Just turn it
, she pleaded with herself. Taking in a steadying breath, Natalie finally managed to twist the handle enough that it slid away from the doorframe. Just that few inches of separation spiked her anxiety.

Scouring the aisles and cubicles outside her office for anyone, Natalie sighed when she found only one man walking away. She knew that wouldn’t last long, though. The lunch hour was just about to hit, and as soon as it did, there would be too many people for her to navigate.
Then just go. Go now
, she told herself. She was almost out of time.

Finally convincing herself to step out, she felt like she couldn’t breathe. So Natalie did what she did best. Run away. She felt like she was being chased as she slipped into the nearby stairwell and escaped into its emptiness. Once there, the echoing taps of her heels on the steps was oddly comforting. Mainly because they were the only ones she could hear.

Being on the third floor of a rather large office building made the daily trek up and down the stairs feel like torture, but there was no chance of her stepping inside an elevator. Even if she managed to snag one that wasn’t carrying any other passengers, she had no control over who got in and out once it started moving.

Natalie’s calves and thighs were burning from her hurried escape by the time she reached the ground floor, but she kept moving quickly until she reached the relative safety of her car. When she locked the doors, she felt like she hadn’t taken a single breath since leaving her office. A few minutes later, she was relaxed enough to start the car and drive. When she pulled up to the café where Vance had agreed to meet her, she waited for the rush of anxiety to start again. Surprisingly…it didn’t.

Meeting Guy for the initial interview was terrifying. She wasn’t even sure why. Natalie didn’t really have friends, but the coworker who had hastily recommended Guy after sitting through an awkward work meeting with her had assured her that he was very professional and worked around his clients’ issues. Still, sitting through that first meeting with Guy had been torturous. For some reason, Vance didn’t instill that same sense of panic. She wasn’t sure why, but Natalie was almost sure he understood more about her than he should.

That strange sense of comfort she felt around Vance was the only thing that convinced her to get out of her car and walk to the café entrance. When she approached the door, Vance was there waiting. He opened it for her, stepping back so she could walk in without risking contact. Once she did, she wasn’t sure where to go.

“Good afternoon, Natalie. How are you doing so far?” Vance asked.

“Uh, okay, I guess.”

Vance didn’t comment on her tone. It was easy to tell she was anything but fine, yet he only smiled and gestured for her to follow him. She appreciated that he gave her space, and he even seemed to have made sure the way was clear of people for her. They made it to a table in the back corner where a lovely blonde woman sat. Natalie was actually relieved to see her.

“You must be Stephanie,” she said.

“And you must be Natalie.” Stephanie smiled, but it seemed strained, which wasn’t all that surprising.

Natalie slid into her seat, well away from Vance and Stephanie. Anxiety had her hands twisting together the moment she set her purse down. She focused on Stephanie, hoping to alleviate some of the awkwardness. “Thank you so much for doing this. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.”

Looking down at her hands briefly, it took Stephanie a moment to respond. “It’s no problem, really. It gives me an excuse to have lunch with Vance twice a week.”

When Vance had first suggested having Stephanie join them during their sessions, Natalie hadn’t been keen on the idea at all. Talking to Vance would be hard enough. Adding in his girlfriend? It wasn’t until Vance explained that Stephanie’s presence would act as a buffer so she didn’t feel threatened by being alone with him, that it started to make sense. Even still, he had to work at convincing her. What had finally pushed her to give in was the realization that with Stephanie there, Vance would be forced to stick to his agreement not to ask her about her past.

These lunch meetings were about building trust. That was it.

“I have to say, Natalie,” Stephanie began, “the blouse you’re wearing is just lovely. Maxwell, right?”

Startled by her accuracy, it took Natalie several seconds to put together a response. “Uh, yeah. How did you know?”

“I love Maxwell. I make sure Sabine or Leila take me to his shows every year. I simply adore his work. What other designers do you like?” Stephanie smiled, and this time it seemed less edgy. She clearly expected an answer, as well.

“Um, well, I really like Paul Lucien. His stuff is more businessy, but I don’t have much of a reason to buy anything else.” As the words left her mouth, she realized how lame that sounded. Heat rushed to her cheeks, but Stephanie gave her no chance to linger in her embarrassment.

“Paul Lucien is pretty amazing, but I prefer Niko if I’m looking for business casual. Now, for evening causal, you have to check out Franky Gibs. He’s fairly new on the scene, but Sabine turned me on to him and he’s absolutely to die for!”

Vance cleared his throat, leaving Stephanie’s mouth open as she prepared to launch into another string of words Natalie was barely able to follow. Her mouth snapped shut at his quiet insistence. She didn’t seem to mind being interrupted, as though she was fairly used to it, and sat back with an easy smile.

“Before we get into the pros and cons of every designer in Chicago, we need to take care of some paperwork, first.” Vance reached into his briefcase and withdrew several documents. He handed one to Stephanie and one to Natalie.

While Natalie wasn’t surprised by the forms, Stephanie certainly was. “What’s all this?”

“A confidentiality agreement,” Vance explained. “These meetings are fully protected therapy sessions. Natalie has agreed to your being here, Steph, but I still have to have you sign. You can’t tell anyone what we discuss, no matter how mundane it might seem, okay?”

She frowned for a moment, but then shrugged. “Yeah, of course.” Her gaze darted down and she started signing next to all the little sticky arrows. Natalie did the same.

When they handed both sets of paperwork back to Vance, everyone seemed relieved. Natalie wasn’t sure why Stephanie seemed less stressed, but Natalie felt like someone had just offered her a lifeline. Talking to Vance scared her to death, despite the fact that he didn’t frighten her nearly as much as most everyone else did. She didn’t want to dig up what she had tried so hard to bury, but she didn’t want to go through life hiding from everyone and everything anymore. It was time, and as terrifying as that was, she wanted to take this step.

Vance put the paperwork back into his briefcase, and when he looked up, he had a strangely interested, yet not too interested, expression on his face. No one said anything at first. Natalie almost wished Stephanie would start talking again. Natalie wasn’t big on fashion, in general, but she did want to look nice. It was kind of pleasant listening to her speed-talk about what she seemed to love, because it meant Natalie could sit back and say nothing. In fact, she had begun to suspect that was why Vance invited her, in part.

Before Stephanie could start back in on the season’s colors and patterns, Vance said, “How is Gypsy doing?”

“Gypsy?” Stephanie asked. “Who’s that?”

The intense way Stephanie regarded her was a little much to handle. Natalie felt confident that she wasn’t trying to be hostile, but having that much focused attention on her caused her heart to speed up. Natalie looked away, seeking refuge in Vance. She only half-looked at him, but she said, “She’s my dog.”

“A dog! I love puppies, but Vance won’t let me get one.”

Natalie risked turning just enough to see Stephanie frown at Vance, though it was edged with warmth.

“
I
won’t let you get one?” Vance said with an amused laugh. “You’re the one who’s allergic to dogs. You can’t blame me if I don’t want you walking around sneezing and wheezing while you’re home.”

Stephanie huffed, but a smile slipped onto her lips anyway. “I still want a puppy.”

“I told you, we can get a fish or a bird or something if you really want a pet.”

“I don’t want
a
pet. I want a dog. Fish smell gross and birds are annoying.” She wrinkled her nose and shook herself. Her attention shifted back to Natalie. “What kind of dog do you have?”

“A pug.”

“Oh! Pugs are so adorable!” She turned back toward Vance, but before she could say anything, he started shaking his head again. Stephanie pointed a finger at Vance, but looked at Natalie. “He pretends it’s just because I’m allergic, but I think he secretly hates dogs or something.”

Vance rolled his eyes. Natalie almost laughed. She couldn’t think of the last time she had listened to two people talk and tease and laugh with each other. Even before…that wasn’t the kind of home she grew up in. She never really had any friends either. Her dad had made sure of that. Even if someone had been inclined to sit with her at lunch or invite her to a movie, they were all too scared of her dad to attempt it. That had only made her wish for something different even more, and that desire had only been growing lately.

“Do you?” Natalie asked quietly. “Hate dogs?”

Natalie didn’t realize she had interrupted something Stephanie was saying until the quiet made her look up. Stephanie’s open mouth closed and pulled into a patient smile. Vance, on the other hand, looked as though he wanted to pretend he hadn’t heard her.

“I don’t hate them,” he grumbled. “I just can’t stand having them lick me. It’s disgusting.”

Stephanie narrowed her eyes at her boyfriend. “I knew there was something.” She pretended to be mad at him, but Natalie could see how much they loved each other. Watching them broke her heart. Vance’s fingers curled around hers, and Stephanie leaned against him, but if someone tried to do that to Natalie…it wouldn’t have ended well. Even just watching them touch was difficult. It stirred an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Natalie?” Vance’s firm tone interrupted her squeamish thoughts. “Are you okay? You look like you’re going to be sick.”

Her mouth twitched. Could she really answer him honestly? It would mean explaining…maybe. Not answering would mean staying where she was instead of moving forward. “I have a hard time seeing people touch each other.” Shame for her weakness made her cringe, but she forced herself to keep talking. “I’m sorry. I’m usually…I can handle other people touching, most of the time. It’s just…I don’t know, too close, I guess.”

Vance let go of Stephanie’s hand and leaned away from her before focusing on Natalie. “I didn’t realize that would have an effect on you. I apologize.”

His apology only made her more miserable. She waited for Vance to tell her she was overreacting, or for his expression to reveal how pathetic he thought she was. Instead, she only saw compassion in his eyes.

“Natalie, I really am sorry. I didn’t realize physical contact between Steph and I would have such a profound effect on you. It won’t happen again.” His voice was patient and reassuring, but that made it so much worse.

“No, I…” She wanted to tell him it was okay, that she had to figure out how to see other people touching and not associate it with her own experiences…or lack of experience. It was a normal part of life, touching each other. For normal people, anyway. She desperately wanted to say he could touch his girlfriend whenever he wanted, but she couldn’t. Just the thought of seeing it again made her stomach roll. “I’m sorry,” she said tearfully.