The Only Way (14 page)

"What?" Leo frowned.

"Her," Kemp repeated, a smile curling over his lips.

Hart couldn't look away, couldn't turn to see whatever expression had crossed Leo's face.

"She can't win that money, because only men can legally fight," Kemp said evenly, stopping just in front of the ropes.

"We keep our fights clean here, mate," Leo said, his tone strained. "So take whatever grievances you've got and go."

"I'm not here because I lost the fight,
mate
," Kemp smiled nastily. "I'm here because
that
is a freak, an abomination. A girl dressed up like a boy."

"Prove it!" someone called from the crowd, and the whole room started up, calling out insults, denials and demands. A chant rang out. "Yeah,
prove
it."

Leo looked uncertainly down at Hart.

Visions of being stripped in the middle of the ring, exposed to the vicious crowd, flashed through her mind, and Hart did the only thing she could think of:  she ran.

Still clutching the purse, she darted out of the ring and into the changing room, barreling for the back door. Angry cries rose up behind her and the sound of pounding feet.

She burst out into the night, leaving it all behind her.

Chapter Ten

Hart was still shaking by the time she got home, the second night in a row she had run for what seemed like her life. She shoved her winnings at her mother as she burst through the door.

"Hart?"

"That's the last of it. No more fighting," she said stonily.

Her mother looked down blankly at the bills in her hand as Hart mechanically pumped water into a pot to heat over the fire.

Vivien approached timidly. "But how will we—"

"I can't go back," Hart snapped, tensing. "They know. Everyone found out. What I really am."

"Oh, Hart," Her mother laid a hand on her shoulder, squeezing. Hart fought the urge to shake her off. It felt like too many people had been putting their hands on her these days.

"But we have enough," Hart said flatly, hooking the pot above the cracking fire. "We can send Roe to school."

She felt her mother shift behind her and looked back, taking in her skeptical expression. "You said we needed twenty. That's twenty-five."

"Yes. But what will we live on?"

"We have savings."

"Some," her mother said gently. "But if we're back to what you and the kids make on the heap, it won't last long. It wouldn't be very responsible to spend this money with nothing else guaranteed to come in."

Hart's shoulders slumped and her mother hurried on. "But I'm sure I can find some work. And you too, eventually. Roe can wait to start school."

"And lose her spot?" Hart said bitterly. She had only gone back tonight to help her sister, and now it turned out she couldn't even do that. She couldn't take care of her family; she couldn't even take care of herself.

Hart pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, forcing herself to take deep breaths.

"It's going to be okay," Vivien said, wrapping her arms around her from behind.

Hart had heard that one before.

*~*~*

At the sharp knock, everyone tensed. No one knocked on their door. Finn's friends just ran in sometimes, and no one else came to see them. Not since that night so many weeks ago, when the boy had come to tell them about Duncan.

Hart rose, a lump in her throat.

"No, I'll get it," Vivien insisted, pushing Hart back down into her chair at the table. The kids watched the door with wide eyes; even Penny picked up on the tension in the room.

Cracking the door just a few inches, Vivien poked her head outside.

"No," Hart heard her murmur.  "No, there's no one here by that name."

Hart froze, her hands gripping the seat of her chair, holding herself in place.

"No, you must be mistaken," her mother's voice rose.

"Hart!" Leo's voice floated in from the street. "Goddammit, I know you're in there."

"Mom." Hart stood stiffly. "Mom, its fine."

Vivien backed up, letting the door swing open to reveal Leo, his arms crossed over his chest, looking supremely unimpressed. Hart matched his frown as he stepped inside, letting the door slam shut behind him.

"What do you want?"

"What do I
want
?" Leo parroted with a snort. "How about to figure out why my champion fled the arena last night? Why some meathead accused one of my best fighters of being a girl? Or, hey, how about to find out why my business is being threatened because I allegedly let a girl fight? How about that?"

Hart winced, turning her eyes away. "I'm sorry," she said flatly.

"So it's true then?"

"It's true."

Leo frowned. "You're a girl."

"That's what I just said," Hart snapped.

His gaze slipped down her body, lingering on her breasts, unbound, but mostly concealed beneath her baggy clothing. Finn stood abruptly, coming to stand by her side.

She reached out, squeezing his hand.

"But weren't you …" Leo trailed off, frowning. "I mean, you and Ruby."

Heat rushed to Hart's face, burning painfully. "There's nothing going on with Ruby," she said, avoiding her family's eyes. The words hurt, but by now, she knew they were true.

"Fine," Leo agreed. "Now do you want to tell me what you were doing in my ring?"

"What do you think?" she snarled, sweeping her hands out, gesturing to the small, dismal room and the three children in it.

She expected to see pity in Leo's eyes, but he just nodded. She shifted, her defenses lowering ever so slightly. "Are they really threatening you?"

He nodded. "The police came by today. Said a bunch of crap about shutting me down and locking me up."

"They can't do that, can they?"

Leo shrugged. "Girls aren't allowed to fight."

"But you didn't know!"

"And believe me, I told them that. In fact, I told them I still didn't quite believe it." He shook his head. "A girl taking down all those men."

Hart crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes. "You should know better than anyone that a girl can hold her own in the ring."

Leo smiled ruefully. "Yeah, Ruby's a spitfire. But I wouldn't put her up against men twice her size."

"You didn't care how small I am when you thought I was a boy."

"I don't care now, kid. You're a good fighter, and you're not a total pain to have around. But I can't have girls in my ring."

Hart shifted restlessly. "Yeah, I know."

"They're looking for you, you know?"

Hart's gaze flew to her mother, still by the door, tensely watching the conversation unfold. Vivien looked back at the door with worried eyes.

"Some people—mostly City people—want you prosecuted. You were in the paper this morning. People who don't ever come to the fights, who haven't even set foot in the Alley, know your name."

"Why?"

"Because it's a big scandal: 'Girl in the Ring', 'Crossdressing Bloodshed', 'Transgender Takeover.' You're the talk of the town." He reached into his back pocket, pulling out a crumpled paper.

Hart took it with shaking hands. Luckily her picture wasn't on the page—she didn't think any pictures of her even existed. But Kemp was there, arms crossed, giving the camera his most menacing glare. "How I discovered a freak in our midst," she read aloud.

Good clean sport disgraced
the paper declared. Hart snorted derisively. How 'clean' was it to make the poor fight for your own amusement? To leave people with no option but the ring? The people in the City could afford to be so high and mighty; they didn't know what it was like to have nothing.

Hart's mother hurried over, peering over her shoulder. "Can they really arrest her?"

"Probably," Leo shrugged. "Rich bastards seem to be able to do whatever they want. Besides, there are worse options."

"What could be worse than jail?" Finn demanded.

Leo's eyes skated over him and back to the girls, still seated uncertainly at the table, their meager dinner going cold. "A lot of things." He turned his gaze resolutely back to Hart. "Some people are saying you should be taught your lesson in the ring—make sure any other girl who wants to follow in your footsteps knows why it's a bad idea."

"I can hold my own in the ring," Hart said, straightening.

"They want to put you up against the champions. The biggest, meanest guys—the ones who get to fight in City arenas."

Hart had seen posters for those fights. The men had to outweigh her by at least a hundred pounds of pure muscle. They weren't Gutter trash scrambling for small pickings. They were seasoned, trained fighters who knew exactly how to take someone apart in a matter of seconds. She gulped.

"That's not going to happen," her mother whispered fiercely. "I won't let it."

"You said they were looking for me," Hart said. "They don't know where I am?"

"No. Not yet, anyway."

"Are you planning on telling them?"

Leo sighed. "Of course not, kid. I'm gonna keep saying what I've been saying since last night. I don't know shit. I didn't know you were a girl, I don't know where you come from. I just found you waiting by the gate."

"Thank you."

"But you gotta keep a low profile. If I can find you, the cops certainly can. Got it?"

"No more Alley. No more fighting. I get it."

"Good." Leo nodded, turning for the door.

"How—" Hart blurted, blushing as he turned back. "How is … everything else at the gym?"

Leo gave her a knowing look. "Ruby's confused." He said. "Take care of yourself, kid."

He slipped out the door and into the night.

Hart reached out, slipping her right hand into her mother's, as Finn grasped her left. They stared after Leo for a long moment.

*~*~*

Hart felt ridiculous, skulking around her house, peeking through the window at the empty street outside. But she was terrified. Finn brought home every paper he could find on the heap. She was in the news, headlines about the atrocities of fighting. Not because it was cruel or brutal or senseless, but because she was a
girl
.

People were angry and outraged and morally righteous, and so Hart hid in her house, sending the kids out to try to scrounge together a living. She spent her time trying to come up with a plan, a way to keep her family going. Her thoughts just seemed to go in circles, obsessing over the choices she had made and their possible consequences.

It was almost a relief when someone knocked at the door. She was almost ready for it all to come crashing down because the waiting was killing her.

Still, her heart hammered in her chest as she tiptoed to the door, peeking out through the rickety slats to see who was on the other side. Hart expected the police, or Kemp or even Leo. But not Ruby, standing uncertainly in the street.

Hart let the door swing open before she could talk herself into running and hiding in the other room.

"Oh." Ruby looked startled to actually find her standing there.

Hart crossed her arms over her chest, drawing the material of her oversized sweater down over her hands, nervously tucking them up inside. "Hi," she said warily. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, okay," Ruby threw one last look out into the street before slipping into the house. Hart peered out behind her, but the street was empty.

"I talked to my dad," Ruby said. She was quieter than Hart ever remembered seeing her before. Resigned. "He told me that you're … you know. What everyone says about you."

"A girl?"

Ruby's shoulders tensed. "Yeah. A girl." She turned, looking Hart full in the face. "Why did you do it?"

"Didn't your dad tell you that, too?"

"I mean to me," Ruby said angrily. "Why did you do it to me?"

Hart shifted uncomfortably. "I didn't do anything to you," she said, even though she knew it was a lie. If nothing else, she had hurt Ruby; she could see it written all over the girl's face.

"You kissed me," Ruby hissed.

"No,
you
kissed
me
."

Ruby flinched and Hart turned her head away.

"Fine," Ruby snapped, her voice shaking. "You let me kiss you. You hung around, you made friends with me, you made me like you," her voice broke. "I cared about you. You could have told me."

"Because you're reacting so well now?" Hart said cruelly.

Ruby sucked in a sharp breath. "You led me on," she accused. "You went on dates with me. We
were dating
."

Hart shrugged. She hadn't been sure it felt that way to the other girl until the moment Ruby kissed her, but every time they went out, every time they sparred in the gym or just talked in the changing room, it had felt special. It felt like something more than friendship.

It was only when they kissed that Hart realized what that feeling was.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I didn't realize you felt that way." It was the truth, but it was also a horrible thing to say, pretending Ruby was the only one who felt it. Pretending Ruby was the only one who cared.

"You're sorry," Ruby said blankly. "Well, so am I. Sorry I even bothered caring about you." She turned, storming to the door.

"Look, there's a lot more for me to worry about than just your feelings," Hart snapped, voice rising. "Did you know they want to arrest me? They want to hurt me, just for trying to take care of my family?"

Ruby tensed, but didn't turn. "Well, maybe you should have thought of that before lying to everyone," she said and hurried out the door.

Hart stared after her, feeling sick. She could really use a friend right now, and for the past few weeks, Ruby was the only one she had. But it was a friendship based on lies. Not really a friendship at all.

Hart dropped down into a chair, burying her face in her hands.

*~*~*

The days slipped past and Hart mustered up the courage to venture from the house:  first small trips, slipping out to stretch her legs, and then for a quick food run, and eventually walking the kids all the way to the heap. Finally she stayed, joining them in the rubbish, falling right back into step with her old occupation. She kept her head down, her hood up and her eyes on her work. No one even spared her a glance. She was just another ratty kid trying to make a living out of trash. They were all the same on the heap; no one was special, no one stood out.