The Other Shore (13 page)

(
Man pouts his lips and keeps shaking his head.
)

Woman :

She says there’s no use shaking his head. No shaking can shake her determination, no shaking can change her mind, and no shaking can ever refute or erase the harm he has done her. Any more shaking will be meaningless, it won’t cover up the hypocrisy in his heart. He’s never been faithful to her, never—

(
Man raises his right hand, attempting to explain.
)

Woman :

(
Shouts
.) She doesn’t want to hear it! She doesn’t want to hear the lies! Save them for the bobby-soxers! His sugary talk has been a fraud from beginning to end. She’ll never again believe that there’s true love in the world, don’t talk to her about loving or not loving!

(
Man opens his left hand, so that his right hand faces up and his left hand faces down, striking a strange pose.
)

Woman :

She says if she wanted to possess she’d possess everything, if she wanted to love she’d love with all her heart, she wouldn’t allow even the tiniest bit of untruth, otherwise, she’d rather have nothing at all. She wanted to possess him, to possess all their feelings together, even if they should be darkness personified, all the sounds and movements of darkness. But she’d already known that there was no way she could possess this man completely. The darkness, the whispers, suffocation, tolerance, agony and happiness they shared together, he also shared them with other women in the same way. She’s not the only one, she might as well sever their relationship and leave him once and for all.

(
Man changes his pose. Now his right hand faces down and his left hand faces up, striking an equally strange pose. He then raises his hands up high and does a flip in the air, landing with his back facing the audience.
)

Woman :

(
Starts muttering.
) She says she doesn’t understand how there could be so much disloyalty and betrayal, so much indifference among people and between men and women, it’s so frustrating, so disheartening, and so unbearable. The dating games, trendy clothing, genuine and fake jewellery, woman’s vanity and man’s attention are all deceptions. Movies, pop stars, dancing parties, theatre-going, and even taking a trip together are nothing but excuses to flirt and make out, what follows is either contraception or litigation. The disapproval on a man’s face and a woman’s tantrums, they don’t mean anything to her any more, all she wants to do is to cry her heart out, just like a small child—

(
Man slowly turns his head. Somewhat moved, he takes out a dark blue silk kerchief from his suit pocket and squeezes out a teardrop.
)

Woman :

(
At a loss.
) But she says she’s run out of tears, there is only hopeless solitude now. She just wants to lock herself up and refuse to see anybody. She’s afraid when the telephone rings, the sudden ringing makes her heart jump, she has unplugged the phone. She can’t stand the noise of cars coming and going, when they brake or when someone starts the engine outside her window, she’s agitated to no end. She is also afraid of lights, the colour of the lampshade, the crimson carpet, the pillow cases with violets embroidered on them, and the leather slippers on the shaggy carpet. What she detests most is this picture of him in the gilded picture frame beside the tulip-shaped wall lamp, so shamelessly full of himself!

(
Man lowers his head.
)

Woman :

(
Somewhat tired, she takes off her shawl and casually throws it on the floor.
) She says she doesn’t know why she has said all this. What was said has been said already. She feels relieved once it’s said, once it’s said it’s over and done with, isn’t it? (
Turns her head to take a look at him, and then turns back.
) You can speak too, that is, if you’ve got anything to say. She only fears that you’ve got nothing to say, then all you could do is to play dumb and act the part of some well-behaved fool. Why don’t you try saying something? It wouldn’t hurt, you know. Good or bad she has been living with you for some time, don’t you have anything else to say besides “let’s go to bed”?

(
Man moves slightly, then slowly disappears.
)

Woman :

You know, you can explain if you think there’s been a misunderstanding, but she can’t stand people not responding like that! You know why she’s broken out for no reason? It’s because she can’t stand the loneliness any longer. If you can’t even understand that, then you might as well go your separate ways and you’ll both have some peace and quiet. (
Turns around to look for him.
)

(
Silhouette of Man’s back appears dimly on the other side of the stage.
)

Woman :

(
Facing silhouette of Man’s back.
) She says she’s only saying it, actually she doesn’t want to leave him. And she’s not really kicking him out either, she just hopes that he’ll offer her some explanation and tell her that his feeling for her hasn’t changed, then she’d be relieved and comforted, and she’d be able to prove that all her doubts and worries are groundless. How come he can’t even understand that? He doesn’t understand women, he doesn’t understand a woman’s feelings, does she really need to spell it all out for him? If he has to go, then just let him go, she can’t force him, she’s only saying please, please ask him to explain himself clearly. It’s not that she can’t go on with her life without loving him. What more does he want her to say? She’s already said all that she can—(
Approaches him.
) She begs him not to go like this, she begs him to turn around, to take one more look at her, just like when they first fell in love. She just wants to see his eyes again, those engaging, penetrating eyes he had when he was courting her, or the gentle look in his eyes when he stared at her later, even if they were uncertain, pensive, or engaged in thought, they all managed to send shivers to her heart. If only she could bring back the same look in his eyes, if only he could turn around and look at her once more, all their problems would be over, they’d be as loving as before, and she’d snuggle up to him in his arms to enjoy his fond caress once more.

(
Leaning against him.
) Then she’d never nag him, she’d never say anything to hurt him ever again. She says she knows all about men, their pride, their temper and their idiosyncrasies. When they don’t get along with their boss in the office, they’ll take it out on their family when they come home. She says that sometimes she’s a nervous wreck herself and that she does break out every once in a while. She also knows that this isn’t good, but she never thought that men also had their problems. She might not solve his problems for him, but at least she can offer him some understanding and comfort.

In fact all the tantrums she’s thrown at him have been his fault, because she loves him and cares for him so much, that’s why she’s so demanding towards him. She also says that there are actually no problems between them, only that she’s suspicious, only this funny feeling of hers. If she were wrong, then he should help her to get rid of her worries, he shouldn’t just turn and walk away like that.

She also says that she doesn’t mean to stop him from going out with other women, she’s only afraid that such things might happen. She says too that she’s actually not that stuck up. Even if he had something going with another woman, it’d just be one of those one-time flings and he’d be in it only for the pleasure, and besides, he’d probably forget about the whole thing in no time. When it’s over, it’s over, isn’t it? Not that she doesn’t understand, she just thinks that he should at least lay it all out for her and give her an explanation.

She says she doesn’t want to possess him, she only wants him to truly love her, that’d be good enough for her. She has said so much already, shouldn’t he at least have the courtesy to say one word in response?

(
Grabs his shoulders and turns him around.) God! (She suddenly withdraws her hands as Man turns into a piece of clothing on the rack.
)

(
A bald-headed clown appears at the side of front stage. On his nose hangs a pair of glasses made for extreme shortsightedness. He has on a collarless black shirt, his legs crossed. He looks up and stares at a non-existent raindrop in the air, which after a long while lands in front of him. Then the rain falls down with a pitter-patter. The clown gradually disappears in the dark.
)

Woman :

(
She kneels on the ground before a pile of folded clothing. In front of the clothing lies a pair of men’s shoes; on top of the shoes is a man’s hat. Next to her is a leather jewellery box.
) She says she’s never, ever in her life thought that it would end like this, that she would actually kill her man, her darling, her treasure, her little zebra, her sika deer, her sweetheart, her life and destiny.

(
While speaking, she takes down her ring, bracelet, and earrings and puts them into the jewellery box one by one.
) What a real nightmare! She’s just woken up from it, she feels a bit cold.

(
Wraps the shawl tightly around herself.
) The cold rain and autumn wind raging outside the window, when will they ever end?

(
Listens.
) There’ll be no more telephone rings in the middle of the night, its endless ringing scares her and makes her heart jump, she wants to answer it but she wouldn’t dare, but then if she didn’t she’d feel guilty.

(
Sighs.
) There’ll be no more sweet-nothing whispers, the whispers with so many pauses in between. Neither of them was willing to hang up the phone, even when they were too drowsy to talk any more.

Right now she’s cut off all her ties with the outside world, she’s cut off her ties with her lovers, friends, and enemies, and with those she once loved but no longer loves, those who admired her but whom she didn’t admire. She doesn’t even have the courage to step out of this room to go to a pub, any pub, to pick up a man, any man. She knows exactly what’s going to happen if she does: when the hangover goes away in the morning, she’ll find herself sleeping beside a naked man with hair all over his chest and whose name she’s already forgotten, and all that’s left is the feeling of emptiness and disgust. At this time, she doesn’t even have the courage to pick up her clothes from the floor and run away in a hurry. She’s totally down on herself, she doesn’t have a desire for sex any more, she even finds her own body repulsive.

She doesn’t need to put on make-up and beautify herself any longer, even that necklace, the one her mother gave her before she died, has now become a burden.

(
Takes off the necklace and throws it into the jewellery box.
) All this jewellery is superfluous, is there any reason left for making herself beautiful? And for whom? She detests herself, detests being a woman, her tantrums, her possessiveness, her irrational jealousy and her groundless anxieties, and then there’s her never-ending nagging that nobody ever wants to listen to, she can’t even find the energy, she only feels totally exhausted. She knows her face looks tired and her skin is coarse, she doesn’t have to look in the mirror. She knows her breasts have become saggy and insensitive, they can no longer arouse a man’s passion. She, a woman, her prime has ended, become depleted and consumed, what else has she got to hope for? Even this body of hers, nobody wants it. (
She wraps the shawl tightly around her. Her eyes droop and she looks down.
)

(
Half a wooden leg, whose paint has peeled off, slowly stretches out from under her skirt.
)

Woman :

(
Startled, she puts a hand on the floor to support herself and draws back.
) This is impossible! This is not real!

(
Stooping down to inspect.
) How could this possibly be her? Is this her leg? She must find out if this is real or if it’s just a nightmare.

(
The leg stretches out further until it finally comes off her skirt.
)

Woman :

(
She retreats further, holding her breath. She wraps the shawl tightly around herself.
) She wonders if at this moment she is still alive, if she is still breathing. She must have some proof, proof that her heart is still beating, that it is still feeling. Is all of this just her imagination? Is it just an illusion? Or is her existence, this living body of hers, also a mirage? She must find some definite proof. (She pinches herself on the arm.)

(
An arm appears from inside the shawl. Its palm is pale and white, and the fingernails are covered with a coat of shell-like paint.
)

Woman :

(
Panting.
) No…(
Beginning to feel terrified.
) She wants to know if her fear is real. Maybe she only thinks she’s afraid but actually she’s not? She must experience death once to find out what death is and to feel its pain, in other words, a living experience of death, then, and only then can she prove that she is still alive, and then she’ll know if life is worth living, if it’s really necessary. She’s too hurt to free herself from suffering now, but she still keeps on analysing herself in desperate pursuit of her true self, to find out for sure if she’s real or just a body without a soul.

(
The arm falls off from the shawl. From the palm up, the paint has peeled off as with the detached wooden leg.
)

Woman :

No!

(
Runs away.
) This is too horrible, she can’t continue to be cut up like this, she can’t keep on butchering herself to death! She must run now, run away from this room!