The Other Sister (Sister Series, #1) (25 page)

Dinner finally relaxed them, and they spoke of more trivial things than the history they shared. They found new subjects to discuss, new interests, new things in common, that were as surprising as they were refreshing for two people who were drawn together by mutual pain.

Soon enough, they were back at her small apartment. He followed her up the stairs, without a word, or even a look to ask otherwise. She felt him behind her with each step she took as she clumsily worked the lock on her door. Finally, she stepped into the room now lit only by the soft glow of fading twilight.

Jessie felt her nerves as well as her fears. A tinge of excitement ran over her skin. Will was there. With her.

What did it mean? What did she want it to mean? He walked easily around her apartment and stopped at the window before allowing his gaze
to run the length of her. She didn’t know what it meant.

His voice was steady when he addressed her from across the entire room. “How are you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean about this. Us. Tonight?”

“What about tonight? Dinner was fun.”

His eyes held hers. “Not dinner
, Jessie, about tonight.”

She turned and fidgeted with her keys. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Since when don’t you know what I mean?”

She flinched. What did she expect from Will? He once pried one of the new recruits off her. It’s not like he’d buy her suddenly shy and timid act. Except, now, today,
with the new Jessie, it wasn’t an act.

“Since I don’t do that anymore. You sent me away
, Will, and you made me change. If you wanted that Jessie, the sexy Jessie, why did you do all this? And change me? What is it you want from me? You turned me down before, every time I offered. Now you want… what?”

“You. I want you,” he said from behind her. He had moved closer, she could tell by the loudness of his voice. It sent shivers down her spine
and into her gut.

“You could have had me at any point.”

“No, I could only have had the broken, shell of Jessie. I want this Jessie.”

She bit her lip. She was different now and ashamed of what she used to be. She finally had
enough social graces to care. She hated her body now, but maybe not quite as much as she used to hate her soul.

What if sex transformed her right back into the other Jessie?

“I don’t see what you could possibly want with me.”

“Everything. Everything we never had the chance to share.”

His hand touched her shoulder and he slowly turned her towards him. She worked on sucking in her stomach and tightening her butt, but that didn’t decrease the inches that clung to her. He stared into her eyes, and long seconds ticked by as the room grew darker. Looking up into Will’s brown eyes, there were no more flashbacks of darkened rooms. There were no more images of her father, his friends, or herself. Or rape. There was no thought of what sex felt like when it was rape.

There was only the present moment: Jessie and Will. She never before experienced a moment like it, feeling connected to only the person before her. Staying in the moment. In the present. In the now. Everything that happened before was only a distant hazy film over the clarity of this perfect moment. There was no mistaking now with her past.

Will’s head came down and his lips touched hers. His kiss was soft, warm, and full. His mouth moved over hers, tasting sweet. Warm and wet. And strong. Will’s lips on hers felt firm, bold, and ready. Her hands crept onto his shoulders. She could feel his tendons straining, and knew he was physically restraining himself from opening his mouth to hers.

His hands came to her waist. They felt thick around her, as did his bulging arms that could easily control her. But as always with Will, she knew better. He would never try to control her. He would never hurt her. He wouldn’t even gently restrain her. Ever.

He stepped between her legs, pushing her step by step backwards, toward her bed. H
is mouth was still over hers, warm, hot, and closed.

The mattress bumped into the back of her knees. He stopped moving forward
, and engulfed her. All her senses consumed him, his body, his scent, his taste, his voice, his touch. He seemed so big and tall before her, as well as strong and dominating. He moved his hands to the hemline of her shirt and pulled it up. She hesitated for a second, but quickly allowed him to pull her shirt over her head.

His hands came back to her bare waist,
as his fingers caressed her sides, rubbing her skin. She began to tingle at the hot sensation of his fingers on her bare skin. His eyes were fastened on her, penetrating and fierce. He was staring at her chest, which disgruntled her. This was Will. Will, who always avoided looking at her chest. He kept their relationship as platonic as he would a nursing mother. He never regarded her as sexual, or feminine, or even as a woman.

Until now.

She didn’t know what to think. The intensity of his gaze was making her dizzy. His unsmiling face and all that strength and muscle suddenly zeroed in on her.

She hated how big her boobs had grown, and how her stomach had three mini-rolls around it. But she knew he’d have no patience if she tried to cover herself with false modesty. They had gone too far, witnessed too much, and endured too much together to bother with meaningless theatrics. Jessie didn’t know why, but even now, Will wanted her.

His hand trailed from her side up to her right breast, and over the soft lace of her bra. His warm fingers made her nipple contract and harden, aching for his fingertips to glide over it, and she gasped softly.

His eyes fell on hers at the sound, and searched her soul. His care, tenderness, and kindness
nearly caused her to lose her footing. He was so much man. How could she ever be with such a man? Or live up to what Will would no doubt be like? He stared at her and his hand felt soft and warm over her breast.

He lowered his head down and
kissed her lips, then the corner of her mouth, and down her jaw, her neck, leaving a trail of goose bumps in his wake. It was thrilling, soft, and sensual. And really hot. Suddenly, she could feel a tingling of pressure between her legs. How long had it been since she felt that sensation? Or turned on? Or like a woman? Or a girl? Or even a human being?

Will sat on the bed and pulled her onto him, until she was straddling him. Her legs spread around his trunk and her breasts were right in front of him. His hands went behind her back to the clasp of her bra. The straps dropped and slid down her arms, freeing the cups from her skin. Once it was gone, his eyes were all over her. His hands touched her again. Both of them
ascending her sides. She felt his fingers trailing over her nipples, then back and forth. The aching she felt started deep in her stomach.

His mouth touched one nipple, and her arms went around his head, cradling it on her breast. Sh
e looked down at his blond hair. It felt so soft on her lips as she kissed him.

His mouth was unbelievably sensuous to her. Warm and hot, moist and probing, first his lips, then his tongue, and his teeth moved over her. Unlike his kiss, his mouth was very open. First one nipple, then the next. The cool air on her wet nipples made them even harder when he put them back inside his warm mouth. He was incredible… No,
amazing. And she was okay so far. No flashbacks, no turning into robot Jessie who survived, but hated sex.

He stopped and his eyes met hers. He seemed to examine her before deciding she was okay. He leaned back, and took her with him, settling her beside him, stretching them out on the mattress, their full lengths next to each other.

She sighed at his pronounced masculinity: hard planes, long body, and arms like rocks. Her hands moved over the skin of his biceps, down his forearms, marveling at the soft skin, the fine hair covering his arms, and the sheer size of his muscles. There was nothing even remotely scary with Will. She knew he would never use them to pin her to the mattress, or restrain her arms with his. He encouraged her to continue exploring him.

Suddenly, he sat up and shrugged the t-shirt he was wearing over his shoulders and head before tossing it to the floor. She took in a long breath. He was poster worthy
hot
, and in such good shape, which she doubted she could ever achieve, so she just stared. Her eyes traced the rippling six-pack of his stomach up to the defined pecs and rounded curves of his shoulders. He was tanned and very blond. She put a hand out to touch him, and his eyes came to hers, as he was obviously surprised by the reverent way in which she stared at him. His hand came up to hers, and he squeezed it, before bringing it to his lips, where he kissed her.

She knew he had battle scars, because he told her about them, in generic terms. But now she actually saw them.
Different-sized scars, some small and puckered, others rougher and wider. She studied what she could see on his torso in the waning light of the day. His job and lifestyle were startlingly clear to her now. The man toted around guns, engaged in hand-to-hand combat and knife fights, jumped from airplanes, and crawled through deserts. Yet, here he was, with her.

She didn’t get it and couldn’t comprehend why. Why, after all he saw, and all she did to him, why would they end up together? And why now? His physical beauty was enticing, but that wasn’t all there was to him. He had kindness and tenderness, a gentle side that no man but Will ever showed her.

His eyes fell on hers as she perused him.

“You okay so far?”

Hearing his voice brought her out of her reverie. She nodded yes. She was unwilling to tell him that flashbacks from her past didn’t affect her anymore, only acute embarrassment over his sheer physical beauty compared to her.

“You nervous?”

She nodded.

He nodded back.

“Aren’t you going to tell me not to be?”

“How can I, when I am too?”he whispered.

“How can you be? You storm enemy troops, and walk on hot coals, and no doubt, fly through the air. How can you be nervous?”

“Because it’s you, Jessie Bains. You and me. You and Mexico. You and the general. You and Lindsey. And it’s been a long time coming. A long time, period.”

“I know but
—”

“I mean a long time. I told you I waited for you.”

She stared up at him. Did he mean waited as in
waited
? As in sex? “You don’t mean you haven’t—”

“I’m committed to you.”

“Not for real.”

“It’s always been for real.”

She didn’t know what to say. “What man goes that long?”

He shrugged. “Men at war. Some really don’t cheat.”

“And you’re one of them?”

“I’m one of them.”

“No wonder you don’t care if I’m fat. At this point, anyone would do.”

His gaze pierced her heart. He frowned, and shut his eyes. “That’s what’s going on then? You’re worried about that? Not everything else? Everything important?”

Her chin lifted. “Yes, that’s what I’m worried about.”

He looked at her closely before he burst out laughing. Not the gentle, polite kind of laugh, but with his head thrown back and his teeth flashing kind of laugh.

“Jesus,
I’m worried about you getting through your flashbacks, and you’re worried about a few pounds?”

She pulled her knees up and rested her chin on them. “Yes, I’m worried. I’m vain and shallow that way.”

He shook his head and came closer to her. He suddenly stood up at the side of her bed, and lifted her with him. He had her on her feet and sliding down his body in seconds flat. Her eyes widened in shock.

His fingers came to the waistband of her black pants, he pushed them down until they pooled at her ankles. Next came her panties: white, plain cotton ones. Nothing like the silk thongs and lacy G-strings she used to insist on wearing.

She gasped when she saw how quickly he had her stripped naked. He hesitated and looked her over, asking, “Still okay?”

She nodded, feeling mute. Nonetheless, his eyes were looking all over her, following the ample curves of her body, and he never winced or cringed at what he saw.

His hands came to her legs, running along the insides of her thighs. She licked her lips. He watched her face, to see her reaction. He was waiting for her to freak out or try to stop him. Instead, she relaxed her thighs, and even parted them slightly. His hand was soft and warm as he merely rested it on her. His other hand cupped her breast again, doing what she responded to most before. Then, ever so gently, he moved a finger along the wetness that was slowly following his every touch.

“Lie
back, Jessie.”

She looked up and saw his eyes were dilated, and the heat she saw
there nearly sparked her face.

“Why?”

“Because I said so.”

She stared at him, but he looked serious. Troop commander kind of serious. She obeyed him, however, and moved from sitting on the edge of the bed, to lying down, with her legs closed. It was so the opposite of not too long ago.