The Outback Bridal Rescue (11 page)

He’d known far more of Johnny than she had.

Maybe he’d simply aimed for her to learn who Johnny was—the real person behind the image. A major lesson about making judgements, not letting emotions rule, standing back and using informed reason, putting herself in another’s shoes, treading gently instead of blindly stomping.
Being worthy of her father
…Mitch’s words…

final y struck home to her.

Johnny had seated himself directly across the table and she was acutely aware of him watching her over breakfast

—concern in his eyes, too. ‘I’d like a private chat with you before I go, Megan,’ he pressed.

‘Sure, Johnny.’ Her smile was to show everyone they were
friends
now, no acrimony souring the partnership they were
friends
now, no acrimony souring the partnership they had to have. ‘Let’s walk down to the airstrip together. Mitch can take the Land Rover to carry the luggage and everyone else. I’l see you al fly off in the plane, then drive back to the homestead.’

There was a hard moment, fil ed with the nervous tension of wanting him to understand it was better to skip past the physical intimacy they’d shared, just leave it behind them.

Meeting in a room would make that difficult for her. His attraction was too strong, the sexual memories too fresh.

His eyes searched hers with a sharp intensity that suggested he wanted to fight this arrangement, seek a more exclusive time of closure with her. It was a huge relief when he nodded, conceding to what would be a far less fraught situation for her, being out in the open with the evidence of the drought al around them, a pertinent reminder of what their partnership was essential y about—

rescuing Gundamurra.

Thankful y Evelyn provided some distraction, coming in to fuss over him, as usual, ensuring he was served with the crispy bacon he liked. For once, Megan could smile at the housekeeper’s desire to indulge his preferences. How many people did care about Johnny El is at such a basic level, expecting nothing back except the pleasure of giving him pleasure? He’d never had loving parents. It was good that Evelyn added to his sense of being home here at Gundamurra.

Megan wanted him to come back.

He’d said he would.

She hoped her blatantly
wanton
behaviour last night would not cause him to reconsider. If he thought she expected a continuing affair with him…

The bottom-line truth was she did want it.

But did he?

Somehow she had to make him feel free to choose. Her heart cringed at the thought of him nursing any sense of obligation towards her, especial y in a sexual sense.

This was very much on her mind when the time of departure came. Jessie and Emily weren’t leaving until after lunch, so they and their husbands had joined her on the front verandah to say their farewel s to the others.

Everyone hugged and kissed. The Land Rover set off for the airstrip where Johnny’s Cessna was waiting for them, ready to fly them back to Sydney. Megan waited for the dust to settle in the vehicle’s wake before setting off with Johnny, who seemed perfectly relaxed, amiably chatting to her sisters.

Charm, she thought, wishing she knew what it was papering over today.

‘Time to go,’ he final y said, shook hands with the men, kissed her sisters’ cheeks, then caught Megan’s hand to lead her down the steps.

He kept possession of it, his strong fingers tightly enveloping hers as they began their walk together. Megan made no attempt to extract them from his hold. She didn’t even care if it was a big-brotherly link. It was good to feel his touch again, good that he wanted to touch her.

What she had to project now was dignity and grace.

Never mind that her insides were churning with the need to hang on to this man. He was under contract to finish his movie. Begging him to stay was not an option, anyway.

‘Megan…you
will
use the money,’ he said forceful y, his tone strained with uncertainty.

Why would he doubt it? Because of having sex with her last night? Did he think that might have somehow tainted his investment? That her pride would stop her from using it?

‘Yes, I wil , Johnny,’ she assured him. ‘Gundamurra needs it,’ she added to put everything in its proper perspective.

‘Right!’ he agreed, relief obvious.

He cared about Gundamurra. That, at least, they had in common. But would he come back? They had walked past most of the buildings before Megan screwed up the necessary courage to say, ‘I don’t want you to feel bad about last night, Johnny. It’s nothing for you to worry about.’

‘Nothing?’ He repeated the word as though it was intensely offensive.

Megan inwardly cringed. The last thing she wanted was to sound scornful of what he’d given her. Her mind whirled, seeking ways to fix his impression. ‘I just meant…it was good for me.’

‘But this is the cut-off line,’ he muttered derisively.

She tried again. ‘You’re leaving. I don’t want you to be concerned about it. That’s al .’

‘Over and done with.’

‘I hope it was good for you, too,’ she rushed out, hating the way he was bringing down the curtain when she desperately wanted him to keep caring about her.

His fingers almost crushed hers before he realised what he was doing and relaxed his grip. ‘Wil you e-mail me?

Give me reports on how things are going here? I want to know, Megan,’ he said tersely.

If it was a test for how she real y felt about continuing a relationship with him, Megan was only too happy to comply with what he required. ‘Yes, I wil ,’ she said firmly.

‘Good!’ Again he squeezed her hand, but not as tightly as before.

Her head was almost giddy with relief. He was inviting her to have regular contact with him…if he replied to her e-mails. She couldn’t real y count on that. Once he was back to making his movie, caught up in such a different world over there…but he couldn’t completely forget her. Even if he got involved with another woman, making love to her would trigger memories…wouldn’t it?

Her stomach felt like a worm farm.

She fiercely told herself she had no personal claim on him. Had no right to make one. Yet everything within her burned with a deeply primitive desire to have him as hers and hers alone.

The Land Rover stood just ahead of them, Johnny’s Cessna behind it, ready for take off.

‘If the shooting of the movie runs to schedule, it should be finished in three months,’ he informed her. ‘Do you have any problem with my coming back then, Megan?’

‘No,’ she shot out, elated that
he
had no problem with it.

‘You’l always be welcome home, Johnny,’ she added as

‘You’l always be welcome home, Johnny,’ she added as warmly as she could, acutely aware of not having welcomed him for far too many years.

He stopped, pausing her, as wel . Drawn by the mountain of tension emanating from him, Megan half-turned, steeling herself to glance up at him. He stepped to face her ful on, his free hand lifting, tilting back the wide-brimmed Akubra hat she always wore outside to protect her fair skin from the sun. His eyes were a piercing green, scouring hers for truth.

‘Do you mean that, Megan?’

She held his gaze with determined steadiness. ‘I do, Johnny. I’m deeply sorry I was such a mean bitch to you.’

She managed an appealing little smile as she final y acknowledged, ‘My father knew best.’

His face relaxed, returning a smile that held whimsical irony. ‘Patrick…yes…I think he did.’ His voice was furred with feelings, instantly stirring up her own.

A huge lump of emotion wel ed into her throat. Tears pricked her eyes. Desperate to keep this leave-taking on some kind of even keel, she babbled, ‘I hope your movie goes wel .’

Stil the whimsical half smile. ‘More important is the movie of my life.’

She didn’t understand.

He saw the confusion in her eyes and quoted…

“‘Al the world’s a stage,

And al the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances: And one man in his time plays many parts.” Shakespeare.’

He gave the credit drily, then added, ‘I’m not entirely uneducated, Megan.’

‘You’ve taken out honours in the school of life, Johnny,’

she quickly replied, wanting to acknowledge how wrong she’d been in her judgement of him.

He shook his head, as though his successes were irrelevant. ‘I wish I didn’t have to make this exit, leaving you with so much work to carry through alone.’ His voice gathered an urgent intensity and he took both her hands in his in pressing persuasion. ‘Promise me you’l let me know if you run into difficulties that seem insurmountable.’

And he’d come running to the rescue?

Maybe he would…for Gundamurra.

But for her?

‘Okay. But this is my stage, Johnny,’ she felt compel ed to remind him. ‘I know how to play it. And I don’t want other roles. This is who I am.’

He nodded. His eyelids lowered to half-mast, thick lashes veiling the expression in his eyes. He took a deep breath as though inwardly gathering strength for what he had to say next. Al Megan’s senses were on sharp alert, anxious to glean some hint of what he was thinking. Yet when he spoke, they were simple words of farewel .

‘Until next time.’

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, then stood back, smiling a ful blast of Johnny El is charm.

‘I like your hair loose. They say a woman’s hair is her crowning glory. Yours outshines al the rest, Megan.’

His hands slid from hers and he was off, striding for the open door of the waiting plane.

Was her cheek better than her forehead? Megan wondered as she watched him go. Her hat would have made her forehead a harder place to reach. Better that he hadn’t kissed her mouth, she told herself. It would have been too tempting to cling to him, turn it into more than a friendly goodbye kiss.

Next time,
she kept repeating in her mind.

The door of the plane was closed.

She waited for Johnny to make this exit from her life, listening to the plane’s engines starting up, watching the wheels begin to rol , picking up speed, lifting off the dirt airstrip, her eyes fol owing the flight of the Cessna until it was a distant speck in the sky.

Only then did she realise she’d been winding her hair around her fingers—hair she’d left loose this morning because she hadn’t wanted to look
neutered.

It outshines all the rest,
he’d said.

She wanted to believe it wasn’t just charm, that his last smile to her meant that he did see her as a very special woman in his life.

Uniquely special.

But she’d have to wait for his next entrance to know if that was true.

MEGAN’S
assurances that she was okay with what had happened between them did little to relieve the turmoil in Johnny’s mind. Her dismissive attitude had made him feel…unimportant to her, as though she’d only been using him to make herself feel better. Certainly she’d been closing the door on it, letting him know she wasn’t expecting nor inviting a repeat performance.

Was wishing him wel with the movie her way of putting him back in a pigeonhole that had nothing to do with her life? At least there’d been no scorn attached to it, more a straightforward acceptance that this was what he did.

Nevertheless, even that seemed to emphasise the distance she seemed intent on establishing, tel ing him unequivocal y that—
unlike him
—Gundamurra was
the only stage
for her.

Fair comment, Johnny told himself, though everything within him wanted to fight it. However, the current circumstances were wrong for making any headway on that ground. On any ground. And maybe
he
was wrong for her in any long-term sense. Johnny felt he couldn’t be certain of anything until he returned to Gundamurra and put in a lot of time on the sheep station with Megan.

Back in Arizona, the movie wasn’t fun anymore. He grew annoyed with the script, especial y in the scenes he had to play with a rancher’s widow. They didn’t sit right with him.

Neither did the ending. He kept thinking of how it would be for Megan if she were the widow, struggling to survive and having to make the choice of helping a cowboy who would inevitably leave her.

He argued with the director, insisting that the whole feel of the scenes was wrong, that they should be stark and powerful, pulsing with tension over the conflict of interests, not just some token female interest in the movie, and the cowboy should feel compel ed to return to the ranch once his mission had been accomplished.

He won his point.

The female lead was very grateful to him for the meatier role. Too damned grateful, making a nuisance of herself.

He had to explain he was seriously involved with another woman. What woman? she demanded to know, since there was none in evidence. Johnny kept his mouth shut, only too aware of what the media would do with a name. He couldn’t bring that circus down on Megan, especial y when there was nothing but a business partnership settled between them.

She kept her word, e-mailing him reports on what she was doing at Gundamurra, how his money was being used, accounting for every dol ar put into the place. He both welcomed and hated her messages which were total y devoid of anything personal. It was as though the intimacy they had shared was a brief aberration, best forgotten.

He kept his own replies matter-of-fact, trying not to impinge on what she clearly saw as her authority, trying not to beg more interest in him from her. It was clear that what he was doing had no real existence in her life. He understood this but found it uncomfortably belittling. Was al he had achieved so
useless
to her mind?

He didn’t mention the movie, apart from counting the schedule down—two more months, six weeks, four, two, a few more days. He didn’t stay for the wrap-up party. He didn’t care that the director seemed impressed with his acting ability. The moment he was no longer needed for any more scenes, contract fulfil ed, he packed up and moved out, heading home to Gundamurra and Megan Maguire.

The land was in no better shape than when Johnny had last seen it—stil no rain—but the sheep definitely were, Megan thought with satisfaction. There were more watering holes for them, thanks to the extra artesian bores his money had made possible, and the feed they were trucking in made a huge difference. Besides, she didn’t anticipate any problems with Johnny over her management. His replies to her e-mailed reports had held nothing but approval.