The Outback Cattleman's Hired Wife (15 page)

Jared gave his name and they were seated immediately
at a table exquisitely-decorated with candles, flowers and candied fruit. It
was by the panoramic, glass wall so they could either look out into the
rainforest or inside at the crystal chandeliers and the painted
Michelangelo-like masterpiece that covered the entire ceiling. It was probably
some sort of wall-paper for ceilings, but had the desired effect, giving it a
warm, European feel.

Jared ordered two glasses of good quality Sekt - German sparkling wine,
and with Kirra
’
s
consent, traditional German fare of
Schweinebraten, Rot-Kohl
and
Bratkartoffeln
-
roast pork, red cabbage and fried potatoes.

While they waited for their meal, Kirra sipped at the
glass of water on their table, anxious about why he wanted to talk with her
about children. She didn
’
t want to ask him outright though, lest she sound like
a hard-nosed journalist.

Instead, she asked softly,
‘
How did your father come by so much land?
’

Jared
’
s eyes immediately
met hers, but there was no suspicion in them. One corner of his mouth curved,
as if fully aware of her attempt at subtleness.

‘
I suppose it won
’
t hurt to
tell you. It
’
s common local knowledge. My great-grandfather struck
it rich in the Victorian Goldfields in eighteen fifty-one. A pioneer in the
district, he moved to Queensland and bought the property. He had several
Friesian cattle shipped out from England. Of course, many died on the voyage,
but enough survived to start a dairy.
’

‘
And the property has been handed down from generation
to generation?
’
she asked.

‘
Yes.
’

‘
How wonderfully traditional.
’

He grimaced suddenly and she knew she’d said the wrong
thing.
‘
I hadn
’
t planned on
taking it over so soon, Kirra,
’
he said flatly.
‘
It really limits your own plans. You don
’
t plan on taking over your parent
’
s souvenir shop, do you?
’

Kirra shivered under his intense scrutiny.
‘
I haven
’
t given it
much thought. They
’
re only renting the shop. It
’
s different from inheriting land and a working farm.
’

‘
Exactly. Nobody has their entire future mapped out for
them?
’

She began to realise just how limiting it could be, so
she asked gently,
‘
What else did you want to do?
’

‘
Not long after I
’
d finished
my Veterinary Degree, I was offered an opportunity to do a PhD in researching
endangered wildlife in Queensland’s outback,
’
he said
with passion.
‘
But that was a long time ago.
’

A waitperson came with their flutes filled with
sparkling wine and placed them on the table.

Kirra fell silent until the waitperson left, then she
snapped,
‘
Being cynical won
’
t gain you
sympathy.
’

‘
I don
’
t want sympathy,
’
he quipped back.
‘
I need your empathy. Your yearning to have children
was upset by your husband
’
s untimely death, was it not?
’

‘
If only you knew . . .
’
Kirra picked up her flute and drank half of its content in one swallow,
her eyes glazing over with sadness.

She put the flute back on the table and Jared covered
her hand with his.
‘
I
’
m sorry. I didn
’
t mean to upset you.
’

‘
You didn
’
t,
’
she said in a rush. Then, she couldn
’
t wait any longer. She looked at him straight in the
eye and asked,
‘
Why did you want to talk to me about children tonight?
’

Jared
’
s jaw squared and
his gaze intensified.
‘
I wanted to ask you if you would like to meet my son.
’

KIRRA’S FACE FROZE
.
Did Jared expect her to be Caleb
’
s nanny for the rest of her stay?

‘
What
’
s the matter,
Kirra?
’
he said, squeezing her hand.
‘
You look like you
’
ve seen a
ghost.
’

‘
I wasn
’
t expecting you to
say that?
’
she bit out, choking back her emotion.
‘
I had some whimsical notion that you might want to
help me have a baby.
’

He let go of her hand and sat back in his chair.
‘
You sound like you want to be a single mum,
’
he said, grimly.
‘
Do want me
to be a sperm donor, is that it?
’

‘
Yes. No. I don
’
t know,
’
she replied, staring out the window, unable to look
him in the eye.

‘
I can
’
t think of
anything less I
’
d rather do,
’
he said
firmly,
‘
Look at me, Kirra.
’

After a moment, she turned her head to meet his gaze, her expression
bleak.
‘
Do you really think you would be happy raising a child
without a father?
’

‘
No.
’
Her hand snaked
up and clutched at her throat, feeling like she’d swallowed a frog.

‘
I’m already a father. Caleb and I are a package deal,
’
he said in a low tone.
‘
If he doesn
’
t like you, then I
’
m afraid there
is no hope for us.
’

Kirra dropped her hand into her lap and her face
blushed with embarrassment.
‘
I feel like such a
fool. I thought you wanted me to be his nanny.
’

‘
Caleb
’
s had enough of
those to last a lifetime,
’
he said, shaking his head as if annoyed with himself.
‘
He doesn
’
t trust his
heart now to just anyone.
’

‘
I
’
m sorry to hear
that,
’
she said frankly.
Like father, like son!
She
thought
.
But then, her heart filled with compassion for them both and
she added on a softer note, ‘If he
’
s like you,
I will like him.
’

‘
Thank you.
’

‘
When
’
s Caleb coming
home?
’
she asked, as the waitperson arrived with their
meals. The food smelled delicious and she thanked him, when he placed them on
the table. ‘Have you heard?’

After the waitperson left, Jared replied,
‘
Caleb
’
s uncle is driving him home in the morning. Mother
wants to stay with her sister for a few more days until she
’
s steady on her feet.
’

The conversation changed then, as they consumed their
meals, to more general topics. Most were centred on world current affairs. They
agreed on most things and when they didn
’
t, they
agreed to disagree.

It had been ages since she’d had an intellectual
conversation with a man who wasn’t involved with her work. A sudden flash of
memory dampened her spirits. Zac had never been one to watch the News on
television or read anything other than the Sports Section at the back of the
newspaper.

A folk singer started singing and playing acoustic
guitar quietly in the corner. The memory vanished and her spirits lifted as the
musician’s melodic ballad touched her heart.

The German chef came out of the kitchen and beckoned
everyone to the dance floor for
‘
The Chicken
Dance
’
.

Jared had no hesitation in taking Kirra
’
s hand and leading her to the dance floor. Several
other couples joined them and they had much fun and laughter dancing around
like hyperactive poultry.

When the dance
finished, the folk singer strummed a waltz on her guitar and Jared took Kirra
in his arms.

‘
We fit so well together,
’
he murmured, his mouth close to her ear and twirled her around the
dance floor as if they were dancing on a cloud.

Kirra became aware of Jared
’
s large hand on her back, slipping the soft velvet
across her skin. She breathed in his masculine scent and feeling very much at
home in his arms, she matched his rhythmic steps.

Why hadn
’
t she met
Jared first? She sent the heartfelt, yet impossible plea out to the universe.
Since they
’
d both had previous spouses, there was so much more to
consider.

Did Jared want any more children? He was an only
child, maybe he thought one was fine. She was also an only child, but she
’
d always yearned for a brother or sister.

And now, he wouldn
’
t commit to her unless she passed muster with his son!

When the waltz finished, he kissed her on the dance
floor and everyone clapped. He led her back to the table and with Kirra
’
s accordance, ordered Apfelstrudel - flaky pastry
stuffed with apple, walnut and spices and German coffee for dessert.

Kirra sipped some wine and swallowed. Having made up her mind, she said,
‘
I think it
’
s best if I sleep in my own bed from now on.
’

‘
Kirra, what
’
s going on
in that clever mind of yours?
’
he said, his brow
knitting together.
‘
You seem to be distancing yourself.
’

‘
This is hard … really difficult.
’
She wiped her mouth with her napkin.
’
I don
’
t think it will
make a good impression on Caleb if he sees me coming out of your bedroom. He
’
s old enough to know about the birds and the bees.
’

Jared took her trembling hand in his large one.
‘
I
’
ll have a talk
with him and let him know that you
’
re special
to me.
’

Special? But not in love enough with her to let his
son know that she was The One?
Her heart
squeezed with torturous pain.

Dessert and coffee were served, but Kirra had lost her
appetite. She barely picked at the spicy apple and sweet pastry. The coffee was
stronger than she liked and she had to ask for more milk to consume it. Even
then, she only managed to drink half.

Tension mounted between them and Kirra racked her
brain to bridge the uncomfortable silence.

She cleared her throat.
‘
Where did you learn to dance like that?
’

He laughed then.
‘
It sounds
corny, but Mother used to waltz me around the house when I was five, while
Father played the Pianola.
’
   

‘
Your parents sound like fun,
’
she said, then fell silent again. Her emotions warred
inside her. It seemed like she was at a crossroads now.
Did she stay and see
if his son approved of her? Or leave graciously, shelving the wonderful
memories with Jared as her transitional man?

‘
Kirra,
’
he said in a low
tone, filled with exasperation.
‘
Do you want
to go home?
’

‘
Yes.
’

Jared signalled for the waitperson to come to the
table and he paid the bill. On the way out he thanked the German Maitre D
’
for a wonderful evening.

There was a deeper chill in the air when they stepped
outside and Kirra wrapped her shawl tightly about her. Jared put his arm around
her waist and they walked in unison back to the car.

Driving down the mountain, the tension in the small
confines of the car strung her nerves tight. Her mouth ran dry and she couldn
’
t seem to find a comfortable way to sit.

‘
What
’
s the matter, Kirra?
’
he said, his fingers wrapped tightly on the steering
wheel.

Dammit!
She wanted
to scream.
Couldn
’
t he see that she
was head over heels in love with him? Did she have to spell it out?

Closing her eyes, her breath caught in her throat.

‘
I love you,
’
she said
simply.
‘
I
’
ve fallen in love
with you.
’

Jared steered the Range Rover across to the other side
of the road and brought it to an easy halt on a grassy clearing at the forest
’
s edge.

His heart filled with a warmth that he hadn
’
t experienced in a long time. He wanted to take her in
his arms and kiss her senseless - this beautiful, clever angel who had been
dropped on his doorstep.

Loving and caring for everyone and everything in his
life for so long, he
’
d forgotten what is was like to be loved, truly loved
for who he was.

But what did he feel for Kirra? Was it love? They had
only met three days ago. Did falling in love happen that fast? He
’
d loved Heather all his life, but the sexual
attraction was never as intense as it was with Kirra? And she wanted children
of her own?

Hell, it just dawned on him. He hadn
’
t used any protection - hadn
’
t had any on hand at the farm. It hadn
’
t been necessary before Kirra had arrived, but still,
how could he be so careless in the twenty-first century? Kirra could already be
carrying his seed. Was that what this was all about? She hadn
’
t asked him to wear a condom, maybe she knew her
ovulation cycle.

Was she hoping to be pregnant? Was she using him?
He didn
’
t think so,
but …

Then there was the threat of Sexually Transmitted
Diseases. Being in the medical field, albeit in animal health, he should have
at least asked her if she had a clean bill of health. He knew that he was
clear.

Had he fallen for her big time? Did he want to spend
the rest of his life with her?

And then there was Caleb to consider. What if he
committed to her and she couldn
’
t love him as her
own?

A career woman, what if living in the country wasn
’
t fulfilling enough for her and she left? Caleb would
be devastated and so would he.
So many what ifs ... Was it worth it to risk
his heart again? Was he being a selfish and arrogant bore?

He dampened down his concerns.

Gripping the wheel, he turned towards her and smiled.
‘
Thank you for telling me, Kirra,
’
he said quietly, doing his best not to upset her.
‘
It takes courage to be honest about one
’
s feelings.
’

Kirra sighed heavily.
‘
And you can
’
t, is that it?
’

His nostrils flared. The tension in his shoulders was
incredible and squeezed his muscles tight.
‘
I can
’
t commit my feelings. Caleb
’
s welfare is paramount in my reckoning.
’

Hurt, Kirra
’
s eyes
flashed with indignation.
‘
Even over your own
happiness?
’