The Outback Cattleman's Hired Wife (27 page)

One dark eyebrow rose and a breath caught in his
throat.
‘
You want me to make love with you?
’

‘
There
’
s always the
kitchen table,
’
she teased on a whisper. ‘We haven’t fulfilled that fantasy yet.’

He laughed.
‘Tonight,
I
’
d prefer the softness of a mattress underneath me.
’
He wrapped her in his arms then, and kissed her
senseless.
‘
Your room or mine,
’
he muttered
against her swollen lips.

‘
Yours,
’
she breathed and
he slipped his arm under her knees and carried her into his bedroom.

It was the first time she’d been into his bedroom. To
her surprise, the walls were painted in pastel green and the curtains on the
window were cream. She’d assumed it would be more masculine like his study.
There was an oil painting of cows in the paddock on the wall above the
king-size bed and a framed school portrait of Caleb when he looked a little
younger on an adjacent wall. An antique chest of drawers and a wardrobe stood
just inside the door.

Jared pulled back the bedcovers and sat down with her.

‘
You can redecorate if you like and buy a new bed,
’
Jared said matter-of-factly.

‘
Thank you,
’
she said
and kissed him on the mouth.
’
You
’
re so good to me in every way. It
’
s like karmic reward. I
’
m so lucky to have found you.
’

‘
I don
’
t want you to
leave tomorrow,
’
he said throatily, cupping the back of her head with
his large hand.
‘
Am I being selfish? I want to wake up beside you every
morning.
’

‘
Then we
’
ll have to
make it a short engagement,
’
she said
ever-the-practical and trailed kisses down his neck. She tasted the salt of his
skin and licked the notch below his Adam
’s apple
.

Jared growled and slid his hand under her skirt and up
the length of her thigh.

Kirra felt a rush of excitement and anticipation as he
pulled the scrap of silk to one side and gently rubbed her sensitive nub
between two deft fingers. Her feminine core moistened and she moaned against
his neck, when he slid both fingers into her passage and began to move them in
time with her, licking and panting. His length harden against her thigh, but
the power of his ministrations overrode any thought of other than her own pure
pleasure. She promised herself that she reciprocate later.

Coming hard and
fast against his fingers, an ecstatic cry escaped her lips and she leant
against his rock-like chest.

When her breathing returned to normal, she sighed in
contentment and said,
‘
I want you to love me forever and ever.
’

‘
I will,
’
he vowed.
‘
Let
’
s go to bed.
’

They both stripped down to bare skin and hopped
underneath the bedcovers. They made deep, exquisite love all night, like there
was no tomorrow.

And when exhaustion overcame them both, Jared cradled
her in his arms and Kirra nestled into him.

She was home
.

But if she didn
’
t complete
her unfinished business, she knew it would continue to haunt her and possibly
affect their marriage.

DEEP IN THOUGHT, Kirra stared unseeingly at the magnificent boats that
sailed on the Brisbane River from the balcony of her Kangaroo Point apartment.
Normally, it brought her joy when she ate breakfast there before heading off to
work, but today, a distinct wretchedness tore at her heart.

She hadn
’
t realised
how hard it would be to say goodbye to Jared and Caleb the day before.

She
’
d extended her
stay until her two week
’
s holiday had almost ended. Caleb had returned to
school so she
’
d been able to take him there and meet his teacher.
She
’
d also offered to help the teacher by changing the
home reading books for the children while she was there and later, when she
returned.

Jared had had his mornings filled with patients - pets
of the district families. Kirra had ended up making countless cups of teas,
when their owners wanted to get to know her better.

Mrs Rutherford and her daughter had come in on
Wednesday to clean the house and do the ironing. Kirra had chosen to do the
laundry and share the cooking with Jared because she liked those aspects of
housekeeping.

On Thursday, Mrs Rutherford offered to take her to the
local co-op for more fresh produce supplies. The fruit and vegetables, eggs and
bread were the best quality she
’
d seen. They were
bigger, tastier and more colourful than in any supermarket she
’
d patronised in the city.

When Friday had come, Kirra had said goodbye to Caleb
before he’d caught the school bus.

Caleb had cried and it almost undid her, her heart
squeezing in pain. In the end, even though, she
’
d promised him that she’d come back, she
’
d decided to leave her watch with him as collateral.

Having said her goodbye to Jared earlier that morning
in bed, she
’
d left quickly.

Jared had been stoic. He
’
d consoled his son and tried to be upbeat about it.

The sun shone through the high-rise buildings of
Brisbane
’
s CBD. Kirra sighed deeply. Gathering up her empty
teacup and plate, she padded back inside, reluctant to get started. She knew
the task ahead of her was a difficult one, but she knew it must be done if she
was to be totally at peace and move forward in life.

Kirra looked around at the modest, but tastefully
decorated apartment in shades of azure, peach and cream.

She and Zac had taken out joint life insurance
policies as a requirement to obtaining a substantial bank loan, so she now
owned the apartment outright.

She
’
d talk it over
with Jared first of course, but she thought that she might rent it out. During
school breaks, they could use it for holidays. There were lots of fun things to
do in the city. There was a park not far from the apartment where a beautiful
beach had been man-made beside the river. There were also many theme parks to
enjoy in the vicinity. Caleb would love those.

Procrastination wasn
’
t getting her anywhere. To accomplish the heart-wrenching task she must
do, she had to be practical and just do it. She placed the china in the
dishwasher and headed into the bedroom.

Opening the side of the wardrobe that had once
belonged to Zac, she stared at the numerous suits, shirts and ties. He
’
d always had a thing for trendy clothes and shoes. He
’
d had such a sound fashion sense, she would give him
that.

She picked out her
favourite suit that she liked on him and hugged it. She could still smell his
scent and the cologne he used to wear, and she breathed it in deeply one last
time.

A pang of regret washed over her. She
’
d loved him once. A long time ago, it seemed, now that
she was in love with Jared.      

   Quickly, without engaging her heart
further, she bundled all his belongings into garbage bags, ready for the local
charity shop.

Next she collected all the photos around the place of
her and Zac, took them out of their frames and put them into a shoe box for
safe-keeping. When she had time, she
’
d scan them
onto a disc.

She also decided that she
’
d keep their wedding album, her marriage certificate
and her rings as a record of their lives together. It was part of her history
and she wanted to share them with future generations, if they were as
interested in genealogy as she was.  

Feeling physically and emotionally spent by late
afternoon, she went to bed early, unable to summon up the energy to perform the
last task.

That night, she
slept more soundly than she’d ever done in the apartment. It was as if her
grieving open wound had begun to heal.

As the sun dawned
over the CBD, with a little spring in her step, Kirra took down the urn filled
with Zac’s ashes from the cabinet in the living room.

Leaving without having breakfast, she hoped to beat
the traffic. Though the Pacific Highway from Brisbane to the Gold Coast was
four lanes each way, it was still a thoroughfare that joined the two popular
tourist destinations. Hopping into her Subaru, she strapped the urn into the
passenger side seat belt and much to her delight, had a smooth hour long drive
listening to her favourite Mozart CD.

When Kirra arrived at Kirra Beach near Coolangatta at
the end of the Gold Coast strip, before coastline crossed the border into New
South Wales, she parked the car.

It was still early at this popular beach after which
her parents had named her. The sun was low in the sky and welcomed the new day
with a golden glow. Surfers in wetsuits rode expertly on curling waves. As they
came close to the shoreline, Kirra padded across the white sand and climbed a
short way out onto the rock wall, the urn strapped in a Dilly-bag slung over
her shoulder.

For a long time, Kirra stared unseeingly at the vast
blue ocean. A salty tang in the mild breeze tickled her nostrils and awoke
memories of her and Zac
’
s life together, winding through her mind like a
tumultuous storm.
           

Kirra Beach was where they
’
d had their first date. They
’
d celebrated their anniversaries there. Zac loved
surfing and sailing. He
’
d been happiest there. And that’s where she decided
that he would rest in peace. She forgave him then and saying goodbye, she
scattered his ashes into the Pacific Ocean. They sank below the surface and an
undercurrent took them out to sea.

Breathing in deeply, the burden lifted. Immeasurably
relieved, she closed her eyes and looked into her heart. After what seemed like
forever, but was only a few moments, her own peace came and she forgave
herself. Her heart had healed and moving forward became a real possibility.

She
’
d hadn
’
t the strength or desire to have total closure before,
but spending time with Jared had helped her to feel and work through her grief.

Jared, her saviour.

How could she ever have thought of him as a
transitional man?

He was her one true love. In two weeks, he
’
d shared her life in every sense of the word.

She missed him already and wanted to be in his safe,
secure and loving arms once again.

Driving back towards Brisbane, having skipped
breakfast, she decided to stop at an
al fresco
café in Broadbeach. She
bought a heated ham and cheese croissant and a small cappuccino, devouring them
hungrily.

Would she really miss all the city had to offer?
She looked around and honestly didn
’
t think so.

Like she usually did after breakfast at home, she
checked her mobile phone for text messages. Her editor had sent her one. She
smiled when she read that he
’
d loved her
article and offered her the rural journalist job again. She replied immediately
that she
’
d take it.

Her mobile phone, still on silent mode, pipped with an
incoming text message. Kirra viewed it immediately. It said,
‘
Phil is playing at Carrara at two today, please come.
Miss you. Elise.
’

Kirra checked the time on her phone. It was almost two now. She didn
’
t reply. She
’
d just turn up like she always did when she felt like
it. Elise liked surprises too!

The football field was at Carrara on the northern end
of the Gold Coast. It wasn
’
t far from where
she was. She’s been there a few times before.

Driving there in record time, she sat down beside
Elise a minute before the kickoff and caught her breath.‘Made it!’

‘Kirra? Kirra!’
Elise whooped and hugged her, then prattled on, ‘
I
’
m sorry for the deception.’ She chewed on her lower
lip, but didn’t wait for her reply.
‘
It was
naughty of me, wasn
’
t it? Will you forgive me? Us?
’

‘
Yes and yes,
’
Kirra said
seriously, then added,
‘
but I really need to thank you. I couldn
’
t see the trees from the forest until I had the
Farm-Stay and life became simpler.
’

‘
And Jared? Was I right or was I right about your
compatibility?
’
she asked proudly and grinned from ear to ear.

‘
Oh Elise, I love him and Caleb so much. I want to
thank you. I
’
m so happy!
’
She hugged
her best friend, long and hard.

Elise whispered in her ear.
‘
I don
‘
t want thanks, just name your first baby after me.
’

Kirra laughed and pulled back a little.
‘
What if it
’
s a boy?
’

‘
What
’
s this?
’
Jared
’
s deep voice
behind her startled her.
‘
Are you pregnant, Kirra?
’

Kirra spun around. Her heart hammered against her
ribcage in excitement.
‘
Jared? Caleb? What are you doing here? I thought you
didn
’
t like football?
’

‘
We can learn to love it?
’
Jared said and gave her a heartfelt smile.
‘
Caleb was invited by his uncle, remember?
’

‘
Kirra!
’
Caleb surged
forward and hugged her tightly. The shell necklace he
’
d made which she wore every day, dug into the back of
her neck.
‘
Dad and I have missed you so much.
’

Kirra looked up into Jared
’
s soft grey-blue eyes and smiled with a newly-found
serenity and happiness in her heart.

‘
Have you done what you needed to do?
’
he asked solemnly.

‘
Yes,
’
she replied, emotion making her voice hoarse.

‘
There
’
s plenty of time,
’
he said quietly.
‘
There
’
s no hurry. We have a lifetime ahead of us.
’

Her heart swelled with pure love at his considerate
words.
Did she deserve such a wonderful man? If she believed in karma, she
would say yes. He was her reward in this life.
‘
I truly have closure now,
’
she replied in earnest.

He nodded and gave her a look of understanding, as if
he knew exactly what she
’
d done, having shared a similar experience.

Elise interrupted on a light note,
‘
Caleb, how about I treat you to a hot dog and soft
drink?
’

Caleb released Kirra then.

Kirra smiled at him, while she rubbed the back of her
neck where the shells had dug in. She really had to get a strip of protective
leather for it, she thought in the back of her mind. And maybe, one for Jared’s
mother.