The Outsmarting of Criminals: A Mystery Introducing Miss Felicity Prim (30 page)

“What can I say, Felicity? You have everything more or less correct. Lucian said the man lunged at him. I was desperate to hide the body while I thought of some way to bury him with dignity. I knew about the wooden star, of course, and I searched through the cottage until I found it, so that the new owner
—you—wouldn’t find it or the basement. Who knew you’d be moving in so quickly? I pressed Olivia for information, and she’s usually pretty free with it, but for some reason she doesn’t like me. Maybe it’s because I told her that if we ever decided to sell Ridgemont, she’d be the last agent I’d list with, because I find her venal and tacky. I found the star on one of the bookshelves and brought it home. I hid it, and the chisel, in a box in my Hollywood attic room, thinking Lucian would never find them. But of course he did, and when I wasn’t looking he must have used the hidden passage to move the box from Ridgemont into your attic, as a way of getting rid of the evidence. I nearly panicked when I heard that you’d found the body. I went looking for the box in my Hollywood room, and it was gone.”

Miss Prim made her voice as kind as she could make it.
“That’s why you descended on me so quickly, yes? To begin damage control?”

“It’s true, Felicity. I had an ulterior motive. I was try
ing to protect Lucian, and I befriended you as an element of that plan. I’m a pragmatist, Felicity, and I’m not ashamed of it. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what a lovely, kind person you would be, or that I would come to value your friendship as deeply as I have. I’m sorry; I can’t tell you how sorry I am. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Miss Prim placed her hand over Lorraine’s hand and squeezed.

“I believe you, Lorraine. And I understand what motivated you. You were trying to protect your husband. But Lorraine, the victim is still lying unclaimed in the morgue. His family needs to know what happened to him. Do you know who he is?”

Miss Prim could see the conflict in Lorraine’s face. After a moment, Lorraine said, quietly, “It’s his son. Lucian’s son.”

Miss Prim blinked her eyes once. “Oh, Lorraine,” she said quietly, “I cannot even imagine the pain of knowing that your husband killed your child.”

“He wasn’t my child, Felicity. He was Lucian’s. And Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg’s. His name was Alexander.”

Miss Prim’s visit with Mrs. Saxe-Coburg at Heavenly Pastures came flooding back to her. Elizabeth had hinted at secrets, at troubles she would rather forget. And another piece of the puzzle clicked into place.

“That was why she went away,” Miss Prim said. “To have her baby. Did her husband know?”

“Of course he knew. He was sterile, so the baby couldn’t have been his. But he loved his wife and he forgave her. I don’t think the Old Timers ever suspected, either. In those days, girls went ‘to the country’ for only one reason, but Elizabeth wasn’t exactly a blushing teenager when she got pregnant with Alexander. She went to take care of an ailing aunt, she said, and she wrote lovely letters to her friends while she was gone, and nobody suspected a thing. Then she returned to Greenfield and picked up her marriage, but she was never quite the same, they say. She’d been perky and upbeat, but giving her child away took something out of her. She became a recluse, more or less. But I’ve heard that she’s reverted to her old self again. Maybe senility has its blessings.”

Miss Prim thought for a moment about Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg’s sacrifice. To have been denied the joys of a child, a family
—it was tragic, pure and simple.

“But I don’t understand, Lorraine,” Miss Prim said. “Why would Alexander come back to threaten Lucian? I would think he would be overjoyed to find his birth father.”

“This is where it gets a little Gothic, Felicity. He wasn’t threatening Lucian.”

“I don’t understand …
?”

“
Lucian had found ways to send money to the family who adopted Alexander, of course. But he never planned to contact the boy. You know how it was in those days, Felicity. Children were given up for adoption and the records were sealed. There was no such thing as a parent looking for a child or a child looking for a parent. But Alexander’s adoptive parents died, and he went through every last paper they had, and somehow he figured out his father’s identity. Then he came to Greenfield to meet him. But he watched us first, and some of the things he saw didn’t quite match the facts he’d uncovered in his research. He was convinced that someone was swindling Lucian, and he threatened to expose her. And the
her
he threatened to expose was
me
.”

“I really am not following you, Lorraine
…”

“You know what, Felicity? I’m tired of Lorraine. Lorraine, Lorraine, Lorraine. I loved her dearly but she’s become too much effort.”

With that, Lorraine pulled off her wig. A gorgeous mane of thick, curly, auburn locks spilled down her shoulders and back.

Miss Prim was shocked. Why would this gorgeous creature choose to hide behind those outrageous w
igs and Hollywood getups?

“This
is the real me, Felicity. My name isn’t Lorraine. It’s Lorna.”

“Lorna? As in Lorraine’s sister, Lorna?”

“The one and only.”

“But Lorraine … Lorna … why?”

“Because I loved my sister as much as you love yours. She knew she was dying, and she knew Lucian was slowly but surely losing his marbles. She adored him, Felicity. She forgave him for his affair with Elizabeth because she couldn’t conceive, and she saw the affair as her fault. But I hated him. I hated him for cheating on my brilliant, beautiful sister. And I didn’t disguise my hatred. So he hated me in return, and because I was so stubborn, I didn’t see my sister for years and years. Because she had to take his side. That’s how it is with husbands and wives. Stanley and Stella Kowalski, right?

“And then, o
ut of the blue, I got a call from her. I was living quite happily in South Africa. She tells me she has only a few months to live. Can she come to South Africa for a visit? Of course I say yes. It’s only when she arrives that she tells me the rest of her plan. She wants to die in South Africa, and she wants me to take her place. To take care of Lucian. She couldn’t bear the thought of him getting locked away in some loony bin, or being swindled out of his money by unscrupulous people.

“
But he hates me
, I said.
And I hate him
. And she said something I’ll never forget. She said,
But I love you both
. That was all it took. I buried my sister in Pretoria, packed up my bags and her passport, and I flew to London, where they were living at the time. Lorraine and I had always resembled each other, but we were hardly doppelgangers. That’s when I started with the wigs and the kooky clothes. It was meant to be a temporary solution, but it took on an element of fun, and by the time we returned to Greenfield, so many years after Lorraine and Lucian left, the masquerade became reality. And there you have it. There are so few Old Timers left, and most of them are as dotty as Lucian. No one suspected a thing.”

Miss Prim’s thoughts turned to
Ridgemont’s bare walls. “And this is the reason you removed all photos of Lucian and Lorraine from Ridgemont’s walls?”

“Right again.”

“This is why Henry doesn’t like you. Because he knows you are not Lorraine.”

“He’s always known. From the moment I
arrived in England.”

“Lorraine … Lorna … I am quite overwhelmed by this. And touched. You did all this for your sister?”

“I did. And something strange happened along the way, Felicity. I’ve come to love Lucian. I see why my sister found him so wildly attractive. Of course, there’s nothing physical between us; never has been. But he’s special and unique. What I thought would be a massive personal sacrifice has turned into the most rewarding and enriching relationship of my life. Would I do it all over again? You bet I would.”

“Am I understanding you correctly? Are you saying that Alexander found out that you were actually Lorna, not Lorraine? That he thought you were stealing from Lucian or mistreating him somehow? And he threatened to expose you?”

“That’s exactly what happened. He waited for me to leave the house, and then he knocked on the door and invited himself in. Imagine being Lucian and having your long-lost son showing up at your house, looking all bearded and disheveled, ranting and raving about your giving him up for adoption and how your wife is an impostor who’s robbing you blind. Lucian’s not good with intense emotion. It frightens him, and when he’s frightened, he can get worked up. When I got home, I found Alexander crumpled up on the floor and the chisel in Lucian’s hand. You know what happened after that.”

Miss Prim rose from her chair and walked to Lorna’s chair, draping her arms around her in an affectionate embrace.

“Lorna, this is going to be difficult. But we must tell the police about Alexander’s identity. And we must determine what to do about Lucian. He is a big man, and if he is dangerous, he might harm you. We must make sure you are protected.”

Lorna looked at Miss Prim helplessly. “I can’t turn him in, Felicity. He’s too old. I can’t let him spend his last days in prison. I just can’t.”

Miss Prim heard a small noise, as if one of the floorboards had settled. She looked up to see Lucian Koslowski standing in the kitchen doorway.

“The secret passage strikes again,” Lorna said.

The doorbell rang and Miss Prim went to answer it. Through the closed door, the visitors identified themselves as Ezra Dawes and Dolly.

As Miss Prim opened the door,
Dolly rushed in and hugged her. Her friend looked as if she’d been crying for hours, Miss Prim thought.

“I’m such a mess, Miss Prim,” Dolly said.

But Dolly’d had her wits about her in the basement of the house on Pierced Arrow Lane. Why would she go to pieces now?

“Now, dearest, you are fine, and I am fine, and that’s all that matte
rs. Why don’t you freshen up and then join us for tea? Oh, and allow me to introduce you to Lucian Koslowski.”

Lucian bowed deeply and kissed Dolly’s hand. “
Enchanté
, Mademoiselle. Any friend of Miss Multiplicity is a friend of mine.”

Dolly blushed and fled into the guest room, closing the door behind her.

“How is Doctor Poe?” Miss Prim asked Dawes. Decades of caring about the man could not be eradicated in just one day.

Dawes rubbed his eyes. “What a night it’s been, Miss Prim. I’ve been doing this job for longer than I like to admit, and what I heard tonight … Let’s just say, it’s one for the books.” He smiled.

He
smiled
? A smile did not seem appropriate at the moment, but Miss Prim was tired, so perhaps she had misread the detective’s physiognomy?

“
But to answer your question about Doctor Poe,” Dawes continued, “he had a nasty jolt—we’ll have to talk about that toy of yours, Miss Prim—but he’ll be fine by tomorrow. He and Miss Veerelf have made me promise that I’ll let them provide you with a full explanation of the evening’s events.”

These statements were
most curious, but
time reveals all
, as Mrs. Charity Prim had been fond of saying; and Miss Prim was not one of today’s youths, who demand instant gratification. So, rather than press Dawes for details, she simply invited him to the gathering she and Dolly planned to host later that day (for it was now the wee hours of the morning). The detective accepted her invitation and turned to go. “I almost forgot, Miss Prim. Remember I told you that the medical examiner’s office hadn’t finished the autopsy on the body yet? Well, it was waiting for me when I got back to the station tonight. The man died of natural causes. It’s still a mystery how he ended up in your basement, of course. But Simon—the M.E.—told me in no uncertain terms: The man we’ve been seeing as a murder victim actually suffered a massive heart attack.”

“But … what about the chisel with the blood on it?”

“The man’s skin was punctured by the chisel, but it was a surface wound. There was some blood, but it had nothing to do with the way the man died.”

As Miss Prim closed the door behind Detect
ive Dawes, Lorna exhaled deeply.

Such grace under pressure
, Miss Prim thought.
It really is quite remarkable
.

“Come along, Lucian,”
Lorna said, “It’s time to get you home.”

“Yes, my dear,” Lucian responded. “May I meet you outside? I wish to thank Miss Mendacity for her hospitality.”

“Very well, Lucian. But do hurry. President Roosevelt awaits us at Ridgemont.”

Lucian shut the door behind Lorna, then bent to kiss Miss Prim’s hand.

“Thank you, Miss Loquacity. I am most appreciative of your friendship, as is Lorna.”

“Lorna?” Miss Prim sputtered.

“Did I say Lorna? I meant Lorraine. My wife Lorraine. Yes, my wife. A most clever woman. Always trying to outsmart me. I have a feeling she has played a rather large trick on me, and sometimes I think I know exactly what it is. But then I say to myself, ‘Lucian Koslowski, why are you wasting your time thinking about such things, when you have a lovely wife, as well as the world’s largest collection of emerald doorknobs?’ I may have my quirks, Miss Grandiosity, but my wife does, too. Her self-esteem is dependent on believing that she has put something over on me. It does no harm to let her believe she has succeeded.”