The Oxford dictionary of modern quotations (22 page)

of money is so quite as truly.

Erewhon (1872) ch. 20

It has been said that though God cannot alter the past, historians can; it

is perhaps because they can be useful to Him in this respect that He

tolerates their existence.

Erewhon Revisited (1901) ch. 14

Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument

as one goes on.

Speech at the Somerville Club, 27 Feb. 1895, in R. A. Streatfield Essays

on Life, Art and Science (1904) p. 69

An honest God's the noblest work of man.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 26. Cf. Oxford Dictionary of

Quotations (1979) 270:17 and 379:24

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his own property at the

resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 27

The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts,

his money, and his religious opinions.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 93

The course of true anything never does run smooth.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 260

Conscience is thoroughly well-bred and soon leaves off talking to those

who do not wish to hear it.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 279

I heard a man say that brigands demand your money or your life, whereas

women require both.

Further Extracts from Notebooks (1934) p. 315

It was very good of God to let Carlyle and Mrs Carlyle marry one another

and so make only two people miserable instead of four, besides being very

amusing.

Letters between Samuel Butler and Miss E. M. A. Savage 1871-1885 (1935)

21 Nov. 1884

The most perfect humour and irony is generally quite unconscious.

Life and Habit (1877) ch. 2

It has, I believe, been often remarked that a hen is only an egg's way of

making another egg.

Life and Habit (1877) ch. 8

Life is one long process of getting tired.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 1

Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient

premises.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 1

All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every

organism to live beyond its income.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 1

The healthy stomach is nothing if not conservative. Few radicals have good

digestions.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 6

Always eat grapes downwards--that is, always eat the best grape first; in

this way there will be none better left on the bunch, and each grape will

seem good down to the last. If you eat the other way, you will not have

a good grape in the lot. Besides you will be tempting providence to kill

you before you come to the best.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 7

How thankful we ought to be that Wordsworth was only a poet and not a

musician. Fancy a symphony by Wordsworth! Fancy having to sit it out! And

fancy what it would have been if he had written fugues!

Notebooks (1912) ch. 8

The history of art is the history of revivals.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 8

Genius...has been defined as a supreme capacity for taking trouble....It

might be more fitly described as a supreme capacity for getting its

possessors into trouble of all kinds and keeping them therein so long as

the genius remains.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 11

An apology for the Devil: It must be remembered that we have only heard

one side of the case. God has written all the books.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 14

The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with

him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself

too.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 14

A definition is the enclosing a wilderness of idea within a wall of words.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 14

To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy

instinct for it.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 14

The public buys its opinions as it buys its meat, or takes in its milk, on

the principle that it is cheaper to do this than to keep a cow. So it is,

but the milk is more likely to be watered.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 17

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

Notebooks (1912) ch. 19

Stowed away in a Montreal lumber room

The Discobolus standeth and turneth his face to the wall;

Dusty, cobweb-covered, maimed, and set at naught,

Beauty crieth in an attic, and no man regardeth.

O God! O Montreal!

Spectator 18 May 1878, "Psalm of Montreal"

I do not like books. I believe I have the smallest library of any literary

man in London, and I have no wish to increase it. I keep my books at the

British Museum and at Mudie's, and it makes me very angry if any one gives

me one for my private library.

Universal Review Dec. 1890, "Ramblings in Cheapside"

Adversity, if a man is set down to it by degrees, is more supportable with

equanimity by most people than any great prosperity arrived at in a single

lifetime.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 5

They would have been equally horrified at hearing the Christian religion

doubted, and at seeing it practised.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 15

All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to

enjoy it--and they do enjoy it as much as man and other circumstances will

allow.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 19

The advantage of doing one's praising for oneself is that one can lay it

on so thick and exactly in the right places.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 34

Young as he was, his instinct told him that the best liar is he who makes

the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 39

Beyond a haricot vein in one of my legs, I'm as young as ever I was. Old

indeed! There's many a good tune played on an old fiddle!

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 61

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.

Way of All Flesh (1903) ch. 67. Cf. Tennyson in Oxford Dictionary of

Quotations (1979) 536:16

2.165 Max Bygraves =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1922-

See Eric Sykes and Max Bygraves (19.137)

2.166 James Branch Cabell =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1879-1958

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds;

and the pessimist fears this is true.

Silver Stallion (1926) bk. 4, ch. 26

3.0 C =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

3.1 Irving Caesar =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1895-

Picture you upon my knee,

Just tea for two and two for tea.

Tea for Two (1925 song; music by Vincent Youmans)

3.2 John Cage =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1912-

I have nothing to say

and I am saying it and that is

poetry.

Silence (1961) "Lecture on nothing"

3.3 James Cagney =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1899-1986

Frank Gorshin--oh, Frankie, just in passing: I never said [in any film]

"Mmm, you dirty rat!" What I actually did say was "Judy! Judy! Judy!"

Speech at American Film Institute banquet, 13 Mar. 1974, in Cagney by

Cagney (1976) ch. 14

3.4 Sammy Cahn (Samuel Cohen) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1913-

Love and marriage, love and marriage,

Go together like a horse and carriage,

This I tell ya, brother,

Ya can't have one without the other.

Love and Marriage (1955 song; music by James Van Heusen)

It's that second time you hear your love song sung,

Makes you think perhaps, that

Love like youth is wasted on the young.

The Second Time Around (1960 song; music by James Van Heusen)

3.5 James M. Cain =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1892-1977

The postman always rings twice.

Title of novel (1934) and play (1936)

3.6 Michael Caine (Maurice Joseph Micklewhite) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1933-

Not many people know that.

Title of book (1984)

3.7 Sir Joseph Cairns =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1920-

The betrayal of Ulster, the cynical and entirely undemocratic banishment

of its properly elected Parliament and a relegation to the status of

a fuzzy wuzzy colony is, I hope, a last betrayal contemplated by Downing

Street because it is the last that Ulster will countenance.

Speech on retiring as Lord Mayor of Belfast, 31 May 1972, in Daily

Telegraph 1 June 1972

3.8 Charles Calhoun =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1897-1972

Shake, rattle and roll.

Title of song (1954)

3.9 James Callaghan (Leonard James Callaghan, Baron Callaghan of Cardiff) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1912-

We say that what Britain needs is a new social contract. That is what

this document [Labour's Programme for Britain] is about.

Speech at Labour Party Annual Conference, 2 Oct. 1972, in Conference

Report (1972) p. 115

A lie can be half-way around the world before truth has got his boots on.

Hansard 1 Nov. 1976, col. 976

I don't think other people in the world would share the view there is

mounting chaos.

In interview at London Airport, 10 Jan. 1979, in The Sun 11 Jan. 1979; the

Sun headlined its report:"Crisis? What Crisis?"

3.10 Joseph Campbell (Seosamh MacCathmhaoil) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1879-1944

As a white candle

In a holy place,

So is the beauty

Of an ag�d face.

Irishry (1913) "Old Woman"

3.11 Mrs Patrick Campbell (Beatrice Stella Campbell) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1865-1940

Oh dear me--its too late to do anything but accept you and love you--but

when you were quite a little boy somebody ought to have said "hush" just

once!

Letter to G. B. Shaw, 1 Nov. 1912, cited in Alan Dent Bernard Shaw and Mrs

Patrick Campbell (1952) p. 52

A popular anecdote describes a well known actor-manager [Sir Herbert

Beerbohm Tree] as saying one day at rehearsal to an actress of

distinguished beauty [Mrs Patrick Campbell], "Let us give Shaw a beefsteak

and put some red blood into him." "For heaven's sake, don't," she

exclaimed: "he is bad enough as it is; but if you give him meat no woman

in London will be safe."

G. B. Shaw in Frank Harris Contemporary Portraits (1919) p. 331

It doesn't matter what you do in the bedroom as long as you don't do it in

the street and frighten the horses.

In Daphne Fielding Duchess of Jermyn Street (1964) ch. 2

Tallulah [Bankhead] is always skating on thin ice. Everyone wants to be

there when it breaks.

In The Times 13 Dec. 1968

It was Mrs Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw

her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as "the

deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the

chaise-longue."

Alexander Woollcott While Rome Burns (1934) "The First Mrs Tanqueray"

3.12 Roy Campbell =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1901-1957

Of all the clever people round me here

I most delight in Me--

Mine is the only voice I care to hear,

And mine the only face I like to see.

Adamastor (1930) "Home Thoughts in Bloomsbury"

You praise the firm restraint with which they write--

I'm with you there, of course:

They use the snaffle and the curb all right,

But where's the bloody horse?

Adamastor (1930) "On Some South African Novelists"

I hate "Humanity" and all such abstracts: but I love people. Lovers of

"Humanity" generally hate people and children, and keep parrots or puppy

dogs.

Light on a Dark Horse (1951) ch. 13

Translations (like wives) are seldom strictly faithful if they are in the

least attractive.

Poetry Review June-July 1949

Giraffes!--a People

Who live between the earth and skies,

Each in his lone religious steeple,

Keeping a light-house with his eyes.

Talking Bronco (1946) "Dreaming Spires"

South Africa, renowned both far and wide

For politics and little else beside.

The Wayzgoose (1928) p. 7

3.13 Sir Henry Campbell-Bannerman =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

1836-1908

There is a phrase which seems in itself somewhat self-evident, which is

often used to account for a good deal--that "war is war." But when you

come to ask about it, then you are told that the war now going on is not

war. [Laughter] When is a war not a war? When it is carried on by methods

of barbarism in South Africa.

Speech to National Reform Union, 14 June 1901, in Daily News 15 June 1901