The Pages of the Mind (7 page)

I tucked the image away firmly in my memory, so I'd remember I had family back home, at Ordnung.

6

I
'd journeyed out of Ordnung twice before in my life—once to Windroven and again to Annfwn. This time, I followed a third road, broader and busier than the goat track to Annfwn or the trade route to Windroven. Teeming with carts laden with the precious fruits of late harvests and watched over by soldiers wearing the uniforms of Mohraya and Ordnung, with former Vervaldr mixed in with each, notable for their height and fairness, this thoroughfare led in a straight, fast line to the Danu River.

Uorsin had improved the road from the backcountry lane it had been in the days of my youth at Castle Columba, first to bring the armies and supplies of Duranor to lay siege. Then, as one of his first acts to demonstrate the prosperity brought by the peace of the kingdoms unified under his power, he expanded it into the primary trade route it had become, running across the continent to the coast of Biah, distributing the goods ferried up and down the Danu River from Avonlidgh to Erie.

I'd read about all of it but never seen it with my own eyes. As we rode, I made notes in my journal. If nothing else, this journey would add to the history I would someday write. I'd even exercised some of my new authority in a completely self-indulgent way and had one of the scribes copy over a miniature map of the original Twelve for me. I kept it folded in the pages of my journal, so I could note where I'd been. Our maps ended to the west with the mountains of the Wild Lands and didn't show Annfwn or the Onyx Ocean north of the Crane Isthmus. Though I lacked good cartography skills, I hoped to add to it as we sailed.

Once relations with the Tala stabilized, perhaps we could ask them to fill in the details of Annfwn.

“I've never seen a woman with her nose so much in a book.”

I jumped a little at Kral's comment, unaware he'd pulled his horse up next to mine. To increase our speed, Ursula had provided mounts for the Dasnarian battalion also. We'd leave the horses that the Vervaldr returning to Ordnung wouldn't need in Ehas, to be distributed to other parts of the Thirteen. Better to distribute Ordnung's hoarded wealth, she'd commented, with the added benefit of allowing Ordnung to feed people instead of horses.

“You are not the first person to say so,” I told him.

He grunted, whether in agreement or dissent I wasn't sure. “You seem an unlikely ambassador.”

“Because I'm small and female?”

“That, too.” He scrutinized me, like a shark circling. “More because you do not behave as a proper lady ought. You speak your mind baldly. Even a man sent to the Dasnarian court would be more careful of his words.”

Stung, I bit back a retort. I would have to improve my cover. “I'll keep that in mind, General Kral of Dasnaria and Imperial Prince of the Royal House of Konyngrr.”

He let out a booming laugh, so like Harlan's but without his spontaneous joy. “See? You have adopted your High Queen's way of wielding a title to slice like a blade. But you are no queen,
nyrri
.”

I set my teeth. “I am well aware of that.”

“So, my brother has asked me to tutor you in speaking to King Nakoa KauPo and the ways of the Dasnarian court. I understand the latter far better than the former. I am not the most glib of courtiers, but I shall do my best to teach you the correct words and phrases you will need to cloak your true nature.”

Surely Harlan hadn't told him I was meant to spy? “My true nature.”

“Yes. The Dasnarians would see you—and your companions—as unnatural females. The women of your kingdoms, such as I've met, speak and act boldly.” His gaze lingered on Jepp, riding a few horses ahead of us, flirting outrageously with one of Kral's men in decidedly lowbrow Dasnarian. She'd picked up a fair amount from keeping company with the Vervaldr. Brandur rode on her other side, glowering in what I hoped wasn't black jealousy. The heat in Kral's gaze made me wonder if she'd had sex with him, too. “I will teach you,” he continued, “and you will instruct your companions. For the safety of you all.”

Deciding to exercise some of that diplomacy, I thanked him and refrained from saying more.

“Does she love him, do you think?” Kral asked, abruptly enough that I thought he meant the man Jepp flirted with. For all his talk of elaborate courtesy in the Dasnarian court, he spoke quite bluntly. Probably, I realized, a sign of disrespect. “Your High Queen Ursula,” he clarified. “Does she love my brother?”

It occurred to me that he might be thinking strategically, of how he might use that connection, but the truth was there to see, whether we said anything publicly about the
Elskastholrr
or not. Harlan had told his brother about the vow for a reason. And ultimately it didn't matter, as, if Ursula did accept a marriage of alliance someday, she would not be the first ruler to wed one while loving another.

Goddesses willing, it wouldn't come to that.

“She seems to be a very hard woman—not loving,” Kral clarified, unnecessarily.

“She loves him,” I said, certain he wasn't asking from concern for Harlan, but to ferret out information. I decided to try some ferreting of my own. “The High Queen was concerned about the bad blood that lies between you two.”

Kral's expression darkened. “Did he discuss it?”

I went for a nonchalant shrug. “Certainly not with me. I am not privy to their conversations.”

“You hear more than most, I think.” He watched Jepp, who was attempting to tell some story about a fight or battle, pantomiming slicing a throat. “I withdraw my observation. Perhaps you will make a decent ambassador, after all.”

“That is my intention.”

“Perhaps so, since I have warned you. But that is not why your queen is sending you.”

“It isn't? She said as much to me. Did she imply otherwise to you?”

Kral pulled his gaze off the animated Jepp and gave me a humorless smile. “Better,
nyrri
. Perhaps you can be taught. I do not know your true mission and shall keep my speculations to myself. I shall also do my best to honor my pledge to my brother. But know this—I can only do so much.”

“I'm sure Harlan knows this as well.”

“Perhaps he does. Perhaps not. He gave up much when he abandoned his birthright. Though he seems to have landed in honey. He ever was the luckiest of us. If your queen truly loves him, that is.”

“Do you doubt it?”

“I cannot say.” He watched Jepp again, as if fascinated, though his expression seemed to be one of dislike. “Your ways are most strange to me, the way you go from man to man without thought or loyalty.”

I restrained the urge to explain that we weren't all like Jepp. Kral didn't need to be assuming that every woman of the Thirteen Kingdoms was like every other, and it would serve him right to learn otherwise. “I've had time to observe the Vervaldr during their tenure at Ordnung. Many of them have gone from woman to woman.”

“Yes, but they are men. That is the way of things.”

“Perhaps then it is not so much that our ways are strange, but yours are.” I said it a bit too tartly, Kral's sharp smile confirming that he'd pushed my temper past diplomatic discretion.

But he considered. “Perhaps so. I shall think on it.” And he rode off to speak to another of his men, leaving me to ponder all the subtext in our conversation.

We moved fast enough that we camped on the banks of the Danu River that night. The barge masters kept large areas cleared up and down the river for groups like ours to camp and wait for our assigned vessels. The scouts Ursula sent ahead had arranged for a barge large enough to hold our whole party, including horses, but they were rowing it upriver and it wouldn't arrive till morning.

Jepp, Zynda, and I had our own campfire, a bit away from the Dasnarians. Our Vervaldr guard had thrown in with them for the evening and they'd all fallen into some sort of Dasnarian drinking and gambling game. Jepp glanced over at a particularly raucous group shout they sent up, with cheers and groans. “Men,” she muttered.

“You could join them, if you prefer,” I offered. “I wouldn't mind and I doubt Zynda does.”

“Not a bit,” Zynda agreed. “Though I don't think Jepp wishes to.”

“No, Jepp does
not
wish to.” She made a face. “I've had enough of male egos for the day, thank you. Besides, the High Queen told me to guard you two with my life and I'm not about to let her down.”

“Understandable. I would be equally loath to face Ursula with a failure like that.”

“Does it bother you,” Jepp asked, “that she's with Harlan?”

I blinked at her. “Why would it bother me? I think he's really good for her.”

“I just figured that you're in love with her and it's hard when that happens and the other woman picks a man instead. I mean, it hurts when they pick
anyone
else, but for some reason it's worse when it's a
guy
and—”

I cut in then, not wanting to hear more. “I'm not in love with Ursula. That is . . .” I searched for the right way to explain my feelings.

“No more so than we all are?” Zynda offered. “She's an admirable woman who inspires great feelings of devotion.”

“I admire her greatly, yes.” I sounded stiff, even to myself, badly wanting out of this conversation.

“I would do Ursula,” Jepp said thoughtfully. “All that intensity and passion, focused on you in bed? Mmm.”

Zynda snorted. “From your tales, it sounds as if you would do anyone.”

Jepp grinned, unrepentant. “Well, I do have standards. But they're woefully low. I'm weak—I rarely turn down an opportunity for an honest, vigorous fucking. I prefer cock, in general, but women can work for me, too. I wouldn't blame you if you did have a crush on our High Queen, Dafne.”

“I do
not
have a crush on Ursula!”

“I just figured because I never see you with men. And you spend so much time with Ursula. And Harlan.” Her eyes brightened with salacious interest. “Unless you're in a threeway with both of them?
That
would be amazing.”

I choked on my tea, face hotter than the campfire. “No! Don't put images like that in my head.”

“I wouldn't judge,” she insisted. “I'd be insanely jealous, but you can tell me. In great detail, please.”

“There is nothing to tell. I promise.”

“Have you ever been with a woman?” Jepp looked me over far too appraisingly. “They can be a lovely change. Softer, delicate, more precise. And another woman knows her way around your body, so she can—”

“Jepp!” I strangled on her name.

“Why are you flustered?” She sounded genuinely surprised, a perfectly innocent tone, but her dark eyes glittered with mischief. “Are you uncomfortable, Zynda?”

“No.” The Tala woman smiled easily. “And no, I've never been with another woman. I have, however, been with a number of men. I've been satisfied with the results and plan to stick with that path for the time being.”

“Well, you won't be having any soon, because General Killjoy has forbidden all of his men, including
our
Vervaldr, from having sex with any of us for the duration of the journey. So if either of you want to experiment?” She finished hopefully, then made an annoyed sound when we both shook our heads. “No fun at all, the both of you. How am I supposed to go that long without sex? It's inhuman, I tell you.” She kicked at a rock in the ring around the campfire. Interesting that Kral had issued that edict—and that Jepp alone knew about it. Which likely meant he'd given the order because of her.

“Seeing how long Dafne has gone, I suspect you have no room to complain with her.”

“Oh?” Jepp brightened with renewed interest in the conversation. “Do tell. It's not fair you talked about your sex life with Zynda and not with me. Throw me a bone here. Or an oyster.” She snickered.

“Oyster?” I didn't get the joke, though Zynda clearly did.

“A man's cock is like a bone—hard and straight—and a woman's sex looks and tastes like an oyster,” Jepp explained with a wicked smile. “And there's a little pearl that—”

I held up a hand. “Enough. I get it.”

“Then stop dodging and tell me what you told Zynda.”

“I did not talk to Zynda,” I said in the crispest tone I could manage. “She's guessing.”

“But I'm right, aren't I?” Zynda's eyes took on the hue of the firelight, like the amber shine of a forest animal, her own version of Jepp's sensual wickedness gleaming. Both of them so comfortable in their bodies, with their many lovers. How had I ended up with such companions?