The Paladin (5 page)

"Either I have been kidnapped by a bunch of kinky bastards, or I am in a…spa?"

Harry lay upon a thickly padded table in a small white room. To her right was a low table that held a perfectly formed bonsai tree. Above the tree was a wide, covered window.

As Harry pondered her predicament, the door to the room sprang open and a small Asian woman dressed in black silk scrubs entered.

"Miss Smith, I am glad to see that you are finally awake," said the woman with a giggle. Although she had a thick accent, her English was excellent. "Welcome to the Yamanaka-ko Spa and Resort. My name is Rio Akisada. You were out of it when your friends brought you for your appointment. They told me it was your first experience with sake. They arranged for you to receive our most comprehensive treatment."

"They did, did they?"

"Now, let's remove that seaweed wrap. If we hurry, you can take a shower before your massage with Saki. You are in for a treat; she is our finest masseuse."

Stay cool, Harry. Be a good girl and play along. Going ballistic and cracking heads won't solve anything, at least right now.

"Umm, where am I again?" asked Harry as the woman sat her up and began to undo her seaweed body wrap.

"Yamanaka-ko Spa."

"Nice name," said Harry. "Sounds Japanese. Where are we by the way, Montgomery?"

"Montgomery?" asked Rio. "I don't know a Montgomery."

"You know. As in Montgomery, Alabama."

The small woman smiled and punched a button on a remote. The screen that covered the room's only window slid up and Harry gasped.

"Is that—"

"Yes, it is Mount Fuji. Beautiful, isn't it?"

"I have lost my mind, Rio," Harry said as the last of the wrap was carefully removed. "What day is it?"

"Day?" asked Rio. "It is July 6
."

"No way!" exclaimed Harry. "I was teaching my class on the fifth of June. That was a month ago…what have they done to me?"

"Sake can do that to a person," Rio said with a laugh. "Makes you lose track of time, even where you are. To my knowledge though, it will all come back shortly."

"I must have drained a gallon of the stuff, Rio, because I am confused! I know this sounds silly, but I thought I was kidnapped by a five year old and his gang of bodybuilders."

"Do you hear yourself?" asked Rio. "I suggest that from now on you stick to water, young lady. Now shower, Miss Smith, and I will bring you a cup of tea and a chofu. I guarantee that will bring you back to life."

On the off chance that she was the victim of a sake-induced bender, Harry postponed her great spa escape. Instead, she took a heavenly hot shower, rinsing off the smelly, yet invigorating seaweed concoction."

Kidnapped by a sinister five year old and his multiplying gang of bodybuilders? Girl, you have read one too many of the Blue Fox adventures. I still can't figure what I am doing in Japan, of all places. Must have won a contest or something.

Harry exited the shower laughing when she found little Larry Angel sitting in a chair near the window. She stopped laughing.

"I hate to break it to you, Harry," said Larry, "but no, you were not drunk, nor did you win a trip."

Wide-eyed, Harry grabbed a towel and covered herself.

"Shit! Rio had me convinced it was too much sake."

"Rio
believes
it was too much sake, darling. Didn't want you to wake up and go all chop-socky. I need you to be calm and rational so we can talk."

"You bet your little ass we are going to talk!" Harry yelled. "Now where am I, you little shit, before I turn you over my knee!"

Larry, in an instant, became a full-grown man. No longer wearing his Applewood Academy uniform, he was now dressed in a loud Hawaiian shirt and matching board shorts.

"Ahhh, much better. Now about you turning me over your knee…"

"Shit!" she exclaimed. "I
am
losing my mind."

"Harry, I apologize about the confusion," he said. "Put on your robe and I promise to explain everything."

"What robe?" she said. Looking to her left, she found a neatly folded kimono. One that had not been there a moment ago.

"I'll even turn around," he said.

"Don't bother," she said dropping her towel. "I am not going to be shy around a mental delusion."

Harry slipped into the luxurious silk robe and leaned against the table, her arms folded.

"OK, spill it," she said.

"What do you think is going on, Harry?" asked Larry.

Harry rolled her eyes. "My guess is I am comatose…hardwired to a bunch of machines. You, Rio, and this whole Yamanaka-ko Spa thing are a figment of my imagination, right?"

Larry laughed.

"Not even close, my dear. It's all real. You really are in a Japanese spa and if you don't believe me, wait until you see the bill."

"Then what is it, drugs? Hypnosis? What?"

"You, my dear girl, have just passed a job interview, with flying colors I might add."

"Job interview? That's crazy!"

"I had to test you and, Harry, you were magnificent."

"You mean the five goons back at the academy? That was a test? I lost that fight by the way."

"It wasn't about winning or losing," he said.

"Then what was it about?"

"You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save another person. Have you any idea how rare a quality that is?"

"So, for being a good-hearted girl, I get beat up, kidnapped, and taken halfway around the world to Japan?"

"Not exactly. The spa is a little reward that I knew you would enjoy. You always dreamed of going to a ritzy spa and being pampered, now didn't you?"

"Maybe," she said, pursing her lips.

"So, what is your answer?" he asked.

"About what?"

"Will you work for me?"

"You need a kindergarten teacher?"

"No silly girl," he said. "Be my Paladin."

"Paladin?" she asked. "I am confused. Either make it clear, surfer boy, or I'm walking out! Where is Rio and that damn—"

"…tea?" The room dissolved and Harry found herself standing alone on a windswept, bitterly cold mountain peak. From horizon to horizon lay a jagged, snowy mountain range. Her protests died in her throat and Harry suddenly felt very small. Larry appeared before her.

"I know," he said with a wave of his arms, "dramatic. Anyway, Harry, my darling, now that I have your undivided attention, you want to know truth? This is the straight dope.

"I am an Angel of the Lord, or at least I was. Because of a small…faux pas, I am condemned to walk the earth until Judgment Day, when I will be tossed into Hell's fire to be tormented for all time."

"Hellfire doesn't sound like punishment for a
small
faux pas."

"A story for another time."

The brisk wind caused Harry to pull the flapping silk robe tighter around her, in an effort to stave off the subzero temperature.

"Allow me," he said.

The frigid air became warm and balmy and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

"Thanks," she said. "Much better." Harry gave Larry the once over. "An angel? That would explain all the crazy hoodoo, but an angel? Named
Larry
? Come on! Where are your wings?"

"What is in a name?" he said with a smile. "As far as the wings, blame the fanciful imaginings of medieval artists for that one.

"Anyhow, I am trying to pay for my past transgressions. The problem is I can’t, in most cases, act directly. I need a champion, or the term I like to use, paladin, to do my dirty work. Harry Smith, you lucky girl, I have chosen you to be my go to guy."

"Do you know how crazy all this sounds?" she exclaimed. "Why me?"

"I have had my eye on you for some time, baby girl. I like your heart. You are strong, tough, and intelligent. Not to mention you can hold your own in a fight.

By the way, you didn't lose the fight in the classroom. Had your opponents been human you would have prevailed."

"What do you mean 'human?'"

"I know how you dream of a life of adventure," he said, ignoring her question. "That is why you devour lurid adventure stories and fantasize about being the Blue Fox."

"Know about that, do you?" she said, blushing slightly. "This job won't send me to Hell, will it?"

Larry laughed, "My dear, while you are saving my butt, you will also be helping a great number of people. Take my word for it; Heaven will approve."

"When you say good deeds, you mean like helping old ladies across the street?"

"Hardly," he said. "Harry, this may come as a shock, but the world is a far different place than you know. The supernatural exists side by side with humanity, hiding in plain sight, so to speak."

"You mean like vampires, witches, elves?"

"No elves, except for the ones who make cookies. However, vampires, witches, and worse are more than real.

You, as my champion, will go after such things that don't want to play nice with man. That is our little niche. I won't lie to you, it won't be easy. Most of the time it will be more dangerous than you can imagine."

Harry took a deep breath.

"So what does it pay?" she said, placing her hands on her hips. "I don't come cheap."

Larry laughed in spite of himself.

"You will not want for anything…within reason.  Most importantly, I have your back. Trust me, Harry; that is better than having the US Marine Corps on speed dial. I will never leave you hanging."

"This is huge. Can I think about it?"

"I'm afraid not, Harry. There is something big brewing and we don't have time to waste. I need your answer now, or I have to go with my second choice."

"What happens if I refuse? Are you going to kill me?"

Larry guffawed.

"Harry, darling, I'm trying to get back into heaven. Going around killing innocents defeats the purpose, don't you think?

"I will simply wipe your memory. This will all seem to you as no more than a fantastic dream and you can go back to being Norma's doormat; wiping rich-brats' over-privileged noses."

"Screw that!" Harry said with a smile. "Larry, I may have lost my mind, but it looks like I am your girl. Now take me back to the spa, I don't want to be late for my massage with Saki. Word on the street is she's the best."

A large plasma screen appeared, suspended in the cold mountain air.

"Nice trick," she said.

"Aw that's nothing," he said. "The real feat is trying to get cable up here."

Harry laughed.

"Now that you are mine, Harry, you have to die."

"Excuse me?"

The screen came to life. A month old Alabama news broadcast was playing.

"… on a sad note," said the news anchor. "A local teacher died this afternoon, as her speeding car collided with a gasoline tanker truck. Harriet Smith, age twenty-five, was a popular teacher of the prestigious Applewood Academy…"

"Popular my ass," she said. "So, as far as the world is concerned, I am dead?"

"Harry, you must cut all ties with your former life and take on a new identity."

"What ties?" she snorted. "I have no family, no boyfriend, no friends, no boyfriend, all I had was a rhododendron I named Oscar. Did I mention I didn't have a boyfriend?"

"I suspected."

"Tell you the truth, Mr. Larry, I was getting pretty sick of being me."

Larry appeared beside her and put his left arm about her shoulders. In his right hand, he held a large mirror.

Harry gasped at the image before her.

"Is that…
me
?" she asked putting her hands to her face. "My beak is gone…I have lips!"

"Harry Smith was a veil that covered and protected you. Its purpose is done. This is the real you, baby girl. From this point forward, your name is Maggie. Maggie Black."

Harry looked at the green-eyed, raven-haired beauty in the mirror and tears of joy flowed down her face. It was as if her vision of what the Blue Fox looked like had come to life.

"So tell me, Harry," said Larry. "Can Rio give a makeover, or what?"

"Who the hell is Harry?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. "The name is Maggie. Maggie Black, Paladin
extraordinaire
."

"You are right, Maggie," Larry said with a smile. "Looks like this is
going to be the start of a beautiful friendship, baby girl."

4

"Come on, boy! I'm not paying you to stand around and look pretty."

Zack Cole struggled under the three bundles of shingles as he climbed the shaky aluminum ladder in the ninety-five-degree Georgia heat.

"I would like to see you haul one of these bundles, you fat little creep," Zack spat as sweat stung his eyes. "Of all the crappy jobs I've had to pay for school, this has just got to be the worst."

Shaded by a stand of pine trees, Bill Seals sat on the tailgate of his F-150, relishing Zack's misery.

The five-foot-four, two-hundred and fifty pound man, took off his wide-brim hat and rubbed his thinning red crew cut.

Wonder how many trips pretty boy will make before he up and quits,
Bill thought with sadistic glee.
Or has heat stroke? God, how I hate pretty boys!

On unsteady legs, Zack at last reached the summit. With a deep, resonant thump, he slammed the bundles down on the tar-papered roof. His hands on his hips, he stretched his aching back and then ran a hand through his brown curly hair.

"Come on, buttercup; roofers will be here any minute and you still have fifteen more bundles that should be on the roof."

"Why couldn't you have them delivered on the roof, you know they do that now," Zack said.

"That costs extra, college boy…cuts into my profits. Think of this as job security. Heck, I'm doing you a favor."

Zack's cell phone began to ring.

"Don't you frigging dare answer that phone, boy! Get back to work!"

Ignoring his taskmaster, Zack sat down on the bundles he had just muscled to the roof and flipped open his cell.

"Hello?"

"Hi Zack, remember me? This is Brenda, Brenda Mills. Long time no see."

"Brenda? I haven't heard from you for what, two years? Not since you went behind my back with that damn Will Carlson."