The Patriot Girl (17 page)

Why would she mention the club on a Wednesday? On Mondays Jodi had an excuse to bring up Dustin’s name, because most of her time had been spent at No Bulls the weekend before.

Maybe this was Jodi’s way of letting her know Dustin was scouting for a new woman.
Good.
MaKayla’s decision to stay away would be easier if he were off the market. Either way, she shouldn’t care.

She gathered a pile of papers, made her way across the floor and placed them into the dark plastic bin hanging on the wall. “When’s Sara coming back?”

“I’m not sure. And don’t change the subject.” Jodi stood and blocked her from going back to her seat. “He asks about you all the time. Honey, you can’t let what happened three years ago stop you from being with him.”

MaKayla could see this subject wasn’t going to go away unless she faced her friend’s concerns head-on. Maybe if she could explain her feelings then Jodi would drop this, and future, conversations on the subject.

“Look, Jodi. So, yes, I feel something whenever Dustin’s around but I’ll get over it. Have you ever thought of cheating on Duke? You wouldn’t dare. Why? Because guilt kills the mood. Trust me, I know. Even if I wanted to be with Dustin, I couldn’t. Alex is coming home tonight…and he’s all I want to focus on today. Okay?”

“Ah, so now we’re getting to the root of your problem.”

“If you mean Dustin, there’s no problem, he’ll find someone else. And so will I, but only when I’m ready.” Jodi’s crossed arms and tapping foot meant her thoughts were stirring. “What do you want me to do, forget about the accident? What about Alex?” The idea of hurting her son made her heart break. She didn’t expect her childless friend to understand a mother’s concerns.

“What about Alex? It’s
you
that concerns me.”

“I know you’re worried, but I’ll be fine. I need to put Dustin behind me, but as long as you keep bringing him up, how am I supposed to do that?”

“If dating the devil made you happy, Alex would be all for it. So what other excuses can you come with? I’m not buying the cheating thing because Paul’s dead. You’re not cheating.”

“How dare you?” MaKayla raised her hand but held off slapping the mouth that had spit out such a harsh reminder of why her life was so distorted these past few years.

Paul might be physically dead, but mentally he still ruled her mind and had her heart. She pushed past her friend and sat down.

“
Someone
needs to remind you that you’re not the one who’s dead. And you’re not cheating on Paul. Paul’s dead, honey. He’s gone. And he’s not coming back.”

“Stop it!” MaKayla’s hands shook and she fought the sting behind her eyes. “This conversation”—her throat tightened and she had to force her brain to finish her thought—“is over.”

“Oh, no it’s not.”

MaKayla’s phone rang. She had to collect herself before she could answer. Somehow Jodi had managed to suck the excitement out of what should have been a happy day. “I need to answer that. And don’t come back in here unless you have a work-related problem.”

****

It’d been a long day at work. Cooking and cleaning had helped to get her emotions back on track. MaKayla had never been as angry with Jodi as she had been this afternoon. Maybe after today Jodi would get the hint and there would be no more Dustin-this and Dustin-that discussion at work.

MaKayla answered the ringing phone knowing the caller probably wasn’t Alex because he should be home any minute.

“Honey, are you still mad at me?”

Jodi’s voice was so sweet. How could she stay mad at the woman who was only trying to help? “Of course not. But promise me, no more talk about Dustin.”

“Maybe.”

“Listen, Alex will be home any minute. You know tomorrow’s Christmas Eve. I’m not sure what Tammy has planned with her family, but I was just about to invite her over. If you and Duke want to come meet her I’ll let you know what time.”

“Of course. We have to visit Duke’s folks. Then, there’s a party at No Shits we have to go to. Then we’ll stop by your house around eight for the rest of the evening.”

“Great. I’ll ask if she can come around that time. You’re going to love her.”

“I already adore the girl.” Jodi laughed. “She survived your pity-shopping and has taken the pressure off me.”

Hearing Alex’s car in the driveway, MaKayla disconnected, then linked her arm with Tammy’s and headed outside to greet him. The engine wasn’t turned off before she yanked the car door open, pulled her son out, and hugged him. “Welcome home. We’ve missed you.”

Alex gave his girlfriend a hug. “It’s good to be home. I missed you too.”

Watching his arms wrap around Tammy’s neck and holding her close, made MaKayla’s heart swell.

Love was a precious thing. During the few moments she had been honest with herself, she realized she had fallen in love with Dustin. No way could she confess those feelings with Jodi.

She, too, wanted to hold on to Dustin forever the same way Tammy now embraced her son. The difference was these two didn’t have a past getting in their way.

Giving the young couple a moment of privacy, MaKayla went back into the house and into the kitchen. Placing the bowl of cooked pasta, meatballs, and sauce onto the table reminded her of the old times. She removed the garlic bread from the oven and set it in a breadbasket.

“Dinner’s ready.”

Alex pulled out his girlfriend’s chair and then sat across from MaKayla. “Mom, this smells awesome.”

“I’m planning on cooking all your favorites while you’re home. I’ll make French toast or chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast tomorrow—your choice.”

The rest of the conversation was filled with stories of what college was like, tales of Alex’s childhood shenanigans, and laughter. Having him home brought warmth back within these cold walls.

“So, Mom, tell me about this new dude of yours.”

She choked on her bread. Had Tammy said something about what happened at the mall? She’d better not jump the gun until she collected more information. “Who are you talking about?”

“Jodi said I shouldn’t worry about you because there’s this guy who’s been keeping you busy.”

Of course Jodi would say something she knew Alex wanted to hear. “Don’t listen to her. She’s referring to my client from the nightclub—the one who signed the contract before you left.” That was all she wanted to say about Dustin. Jodi shouldn’t be misleading her son into thinking anything more.

MaKayla needed to change the subject before Alex asked further questions. “Tammy, what does your family do for the holidays?”

Tammy shrugged. “My mother has a family party at my house tomorrow night. Then we go to my grandparent’s home for Christmas dinner.”

“Jodi and Duke will be over to visit with Alex around eight o’clock tomorrow. They’d love to meet you. Would your folks let you come by for an hour or so?”

Tammy held Alex’s hand and smiled. “I’m sure they will, and I’d love to, MaKayla. Thank you.”

“Did you call my mother MaKayla?”

MaKayla laughed. “Yes. We bonded during pity-shopping. She emerged all in one piece,
and
she’s still talking to me.”

“You took her shopping? Thanks for ruining my relationship, Mom.”

Tammy squeezed his hand. “We had a great time. She didn’t ruin anything.”

“See?” MaKayla winked at Tammy as she stood to clean the table. “Why don’t the two of you go catch up? I’m going to have him all to myself later on.”

With the kitchen cleaned and her shower taken, MaKayla descended the stairs after hearing Tammy’s car drive away. Alex already had a fire going. She’d forgotten how the fire made the house feel more like a home. Usually her puffy robe kept her warm, but not cozy. She had to embrace this feeling so she’d remember to light the fireplace more often after Alex returned to school.

She tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave. The house began to smell of warm butter. She filled two glasses with ice and soda then joined her son in the living room. “Did you and Tammy have a nice visit?”

“Yeah. She’s looking forward to meeting Jodi and Duke. I talk about them all the time.” He sat beside his mother on the sofa. “How’s the business doing?”

She caressed his cheek and brushed his hair away from his eyes. More than ever his features now resembled his father’s. She might not have Paul with her, but she’d always have a piece of him within her son. “Business is good. How was your trip to the cabin?”

He nodded and shied away.

No need to push the issue. She knew how much he missed his dad and that the memories still hurt. “Tell me more about school. What’s your favorite subject?” She reached for a handful of popcorn.

“Science.”

“You’ve always been good in science.”

“Mom, stop stalling and tell me about this guy. From what Jodi said, there’s more than business going on.” He held her hand. “
Now
can you talk to me?”

His stubbornness mirrored his grandfather’s. He wasn’t going to let this go. She smiled and brought his hand to her lips—a gesture she missed from Dustin.

“Did he dump you and you’re too upset to talk about it?”

“No one was dumped.” The sooner she got this over with the better. It was time for Alex to learn the truth of the situation.

“Is he a drunk? I know how you hate that. Oh, wait. Did he kill someone? You hate violence even more.” Alex chuckled at his own joke and popped a buttered kernel into his mouth.

MaKayla released his hand then buried her face in her palms.
This can’t be happening.
She had hoped she’d never have to have this talk with her son. She looked up at Alex’s dropped jaw.

“He killed someone?”

Her hands shook. She sipped her drink then moistened her lips. “Yes, honey, he did.”

“Who?”

“He’s the other driver from Daddy’s accident.”

“No! Mom.” His arm wrapped around her shoulder and she leaned her head against him. “Is he okay from his coma? What’d he say and do? What’s he like?”

Alex asking a bunch of questions wasn’t the reaction she’d expected. And she couldn’t answer truthfully to some of them.

Telling her son that Dustin said all the right things, and did things to her his father never had, wasn’t appropriate mother-and-son conversation.

She had to cover the basics and continue to pretend their relationship was nothing more than a business deal. “He apologized. He doesn’t actually remember the accident.” She chewed some popcorn to keep from crying.

Alex was taking the news so much better than she had. Of course, Alex hadn’t been flirted with and kissed before he learned the facts.

Was she the only one who saw the wrong in her dating the man who had taken Paul away?

“I always wondered how he was doing. After the coma and all. So are you two friends?”

“No. How could I be?” She stood, removed the popcorn bowl from the table, and headed toward the kitchen. If she sat here any longer, this conversation would never end. Alex knew the truth now—end of story. “You can’t change the past, honey. I can’t make the past three years of blaming the man go away. We had a business deal. And now it’s over.”

Alex carried the glasses behind her. “Why would you
blame
him, Mom? I don’t.”

She placed the bowl on the counter and turned around. “You don’t?”

“Not at all. Dad slid through a red light. The other driver tried to avoid us but he started sliding too. Neither one of them could stop.”

“This is the first I’m hearing this.”

Alex shrugged. “You never wanted to talk about what happened.”

Her son had held onto this information? She admitted that as stubborn as she was, she probably wouldn’t have believed Alex if he’d had the courage to speak up.

Besides, blaming Harold James had been easier to deal with than facing the idea that if she hadn’t wanted to go away for the weekend, Paul never would have been out in the storm in the first place.

No one can change what happened in the past. But could this help in changing her future? “Well, we know he’s okay and doing well. You’ve had a long day. Time for bed.”

“Mom, stop trying to avoid this issue. If you like him, then go for it. Jodi likes him, so he must be
special
.”

MaKayla smiled at the way he emphasized special. They made their way back into the living room where Alex put out the fire, turned off the lights, and then followed her upstairs.

“It’s confusing, honey.”
Too confusing to discuss with a seventeen-year-old.
“We’ll talk more in the morning.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s good to have you home.”

He headed toward his bedroom. “Good to be home.”

“Wait, what do you want for breakfast?”

He blew her a kiss. “Surprise me.”

Chapter Fourteen

MaKayla cleaned up the breakfast mess of chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice. It was nice hearing the shower water running this morning and having the smell of Alex’s aftershave still linger even after he’d left to visit with family and friends.

Her house felt like a home again.

She turned on the Christmas music, dusted the furniture, and vacuumed before her guests arrived. She stared at the tree decorated with ornaments that Alex had made, beginning in his kindergarten years all the way through a family portrait he’d drawn in high school.

She leaned forward and tried to remember the floral scent from one of a dozen air fresheners Alex used to transfer from the car to the tree after the scent had faded. There was the bull rider Alex bought home from a trip to Kentucky and the cowboy boot Paul had brought home from his Texas business trip.

“Hey, Mom.”

She turned around. Alex was her only link to Paul now. “Hey, sweetheart. Have fun?”

“Yeah.” He kissed her cheek. “Grandpa said he’ll see you tomorrow at dinner.”

“Oh, good.” She had established the tradition of cooking a Christmas dinner for her folks, as well as Paul’s parents when Alex was in diapers. Jodi and Duke’s presence always depended on how much they drank during their own family festivities. The distraction helped her get through one of the toughest times of the year after Paul’s death.