The People in the Mirror (13 page)

  “Oh!” Mom sighed, glancing at the piano.

  “Well, Dad, I don’t think we’re in any kind of danger now. Mitch’s uncle is in jail, and he was the threat. Let’s see if we can find out more first. It would really mess up everything, including your work, if we had to move again.”

  “It’ll mess up my work if I have to worry about you two all day every day if this place isn’t safe.”

  “Nikkei’s right, Sweetheart. Let’s not go off in a tangent. With Mitch’s uncle put away, and Homer on hyper-vigilant, we’re probably safer here now than anywhere.”

  Wow! I was impressed with Mom’s logic. It was really interesting to see my parents switch roles.

  “I think Alex was right – that Mitch was painted into a corner, and he didn’t know which way to turn. Rather than just running away, I’d like to know more,” I added.

  “And I’d certainly like to know more,” Mom agreed. She gave me a long, studied look. I could see she was sorting out some decision. I braced myself for the worst. “You went to a friend you’ve made, you were given very good advice, you’ve taken in that advice, and you feel happier,” She said.

  “Yes,” I answered simply, wondering where she was going with this line of thinking.

  “That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you by having you go to therapists. Although the way you did what you did this evening is unacceptable, I am no longer going to make therapy appointments for you. From now on, you are welcome to make your own appointments with a counselor if you want, but you are too grown up for me to be making that decision for you. You’ve shown that you are resourceful by going to a peer, who helped you get a balanced perspective.”

  “Oh, Mom!” I couldn’t say anything more.

  “However, Nikki, if Mitch is part of the criminal element, I do
not
want you alone with him. And I agree with your dad, as much as I love this place, if in any way it continues to feel unsafe, we’ll have to move.”

  Dad was nodding, nodding to everything Mom and I said to each other. “Okay,” he said. “Let’s sleep on it for tonight. Everything will seem clearer in the morning.”

  “Yeah, okay. I’m exhausted. I’ve never, ever had such an emotional roller-coaster day. And, again, I’m sorry for making you worry. I’ll won’t do anything like this ever again.” I kissed them good night and went to my room.

  When I got there, I closed the door, closed the bathroom and closet doors, and turned the lights out. I lifted the leg of my brass bed, popped off the end cover, and felt Grammy’s emerald tumble out into my hand. I crawled onto the bed and held the ring tightly. I could hear my parents carrying on an quiet but animated conversation in their room, every now and then hearing “Mitch” then “Nikki.”

  I wished my Grammy were there. She would see everything so clearly. Mom and Dad are awesome, but they’re too close, and too worried about me. It was wonderful to discover that Alex was so wise and smart – and, too, he had inside knowledge of Mitch and his family. But how could I determine if  Mitch was a good guy in a bad environment, or a bad guy who’s very clever? Was he caught up in the middle of an awful situation and not sure himself which way he might turn? Can I help him? Or does he have to figure it out all by himself?

  As I had these thoughts, addressing them to Grammy in my mind, the room fell very still, with a deep, palpable quiet. I couldn’t hear my parents talking, I couldn’t hear cars on the street below. Then I saw Grammy in front of me, much fainter than the previous time she’d appeared. In fact, I could only tell it was her more by the feeling than what I saw. I heard Grammy’s voice in my head, not out loud in the room.

  “My darling girl, I wish I could stay and help you through every problem you will ever have, but I can’t. I can only tell you that if you follow your heart, it’ll be the right thing to do. I’ll not be able to come to you again, but you must know I’m with you, inside you, throughout this life.You have all the wisdom and patience I ever had. The best way for you to learn is to listen to the knowledge that flows through you, and to follow the example of your parents. Your father is truly one of the gentlest, most moral men you’ll ever meet. I was very privileged to be his mother.”

  I struggled to say something back to Grammy, but the syrupy feeling that had bathed me when I saw her before was now more like congealing tree sap. I could neither move nor speak, except deep in my mind, to simply meld with her.

  I woke up the next morning, still fully clothed and still clutching Grammy’s ring, knowing that I’d seen my grandmother for the last time. Strangely enough, I didn’t cry. I felt a warmth of peace spread through me, and I understood that I was not sad that Grammy was farther away from me, because she needed to move forward on her journey.

  “Yes, dearest Grammy, go. You’re right, I’ll figure it out, and I’ll be okay. But I’ll never stop loving you, and I’ll probably never stop talking to you, and I’ll never stop holding your ring to feel close to you. Thank you for pausing on your journey to give me comfort and advice.”

  I got out of bed and showered and dressed for school. It was going to be incredibly hard to concentrate on being a high school kid today, with all the adult things I had to sort out.

  In the kitchen, Dad was alone, making waffles. “Good morning, Nikki. How did you sleep?”

  “Pretty well, actually. Ahm, Dad, I’d like to tell you something, I mean, I think you’d like to know this, if you promise you won’t think I’m crazy or something.”

  “I promise that even if I do think you’re crazy, I won’t let it affect my overall opinion of you too much.”

  “Funny. But I’m serious. Can you stop for a minute?”

  Dad glanced over his shoulder at me. Something about my expression caught him, and made him realize I needed his undivided attention. “Okay, Sweetie, just let me pour this batter, and I’m all yours.” He poured the batter into the waffle iron, then came over and sat in the breakfast booth across from me. Her took my hand. “Is this about Mitch?”

  “No. Well, sort of, I mean, it’s because of Mitch that I... Dad, I’ve seen Grandmother twice since we’ve lived here. On the night that the ring was stolen, and last night.”

  Dad gripped my hands a bit tighter, but he didn’t say anything.

  “What do you think of that, Dad?”

   “I think my Mom was the strongest woman I’ve ever known, and it doesn’t surprise me that she’s got the power to come back and give you some attention. What did she say?”

  “She said that she couldn’t come to me again, but that it was all right, because I had ‘the wisdom’ in me. And that I should follow the example of you and Mom, and that you are one of the gentlest, most moral men I’ll ever know in my life, and she said it was a privilege to have been your mother.”

  Dad had shed a few tears at Grammy’s funeral, but I’d never in my life seen Dad with tears streaming down his face like they were now. “Well, Angel-Girl,” he finally said in a whisper, “I truly believe you saw her.’ He squeezed my hands then dried his face. “I don’t know how to thank you for sharing that with me.” He stood and took the golden brown, fresh, fat, delicious smelling waffle from the waffle iron.

  There was a peaceful quiet in the room between us. A couple minutes later Mom came in the kitchen. “It smells fantastic! Waffles from scratch – what inspired you?”

  “Love and a raging appetite.”

  Mom nodded. “Orange juice, Nikki?”

  “Okay.”

  “What have you decided about Mitch?” she asked as she poured three glasses of orange juice.

  “That he has to figure out for himself if he’s going to forgive himself and el me in his life, or not.”

  “Yes. That’s good. Your dad and I have decided not to ground you, but you are not to go off somewhere with Mitch without us knowing exactly were you are. If you can’t be where we know you are, you’ll have to wait.”

  “Okay, Mom. That’s more than fair. I will be patient.”

  I thought it’d be almost impossible to be at school that day. But it wasn’t. Knowing where Mitch was, shifting away from being furious at him and feeling betrayed by him, having gotten closer to Alex, and being in the after-glow of Grammy’s visitation, all made me calm, centered and attentive to my school work.

  But I
did
wonder when and how I’d get to talk to Mitch
.

Chapter XIV

  As it turned out, I didn’t have to wonder for long.

  “Mitch called me,” Mom said when I came through the door after school. “He said he’s home now. He apologized to me. I was very moved by his sincerity. He wants you to call him.”

  My heart raced as I plopped my books down. It couldn’t have been easy for him to gather up the courage to apologize to my mother. “What did he say?”

  “He was clearly nervous. He stuttered. He said he knew he owed your dad and me an explanation and he hoped we’d give him a chance to talk with him.”

  “What did you say?”

  “That we probably would. But I told him that he had to make things right with you first.”

  “Oh, Mom!” I couldn’t say more. She was amazing!

  “I see you’re hurting, Nikki, and I don’t want you to hurt if Mitch can make you feel better. Of course, he may not. But I know my Nikki will make the best of whatever happens.”

  I nodded and went to my room, then dialed his number.

  “Hi, Mitch, it’s Nikki.”

  “Hi,” he said quietly.

  “Do you want to come over and talk? I mean, we have to talk in person. We can’t  have this conversation on the phone.”

  “With you folks and you all at once?”

  “No. Just me. We can talk in my room.”

  “Good. Because there’s something else I didn’t tell you.”

  “There’s more?” What more could there possibly be?

  “Sort of. Shall I come over now?”

  “Please.”

  I hung up and looked around my room – not too bad, no underwear lying about, at least. The doorbell chimed, and I heard Mom answer it before I could get to it.

  “Hi,” I said, coming down the hall. He turned and looked at me. Ohh! Those eyes – he was so beautiful! But I had to keep my head on straight, and I had to have a truthful conversation with him, whatever the results might be. “Mom, we’re going into my room to talk, okay?”

  “Okay. Leave the door open a bit.”

  “All right.” Die of embarrassment, I thought. Right here, right now. Everyone knew what “leave the door open” meant. 

  “Make yourself comfortable,” I said, closing the door as far as I dared while wishing I’d taken a chair into my room. All I had was the little backless boudoir chair and the bed.

  Mitch looked around the room then sat on the floor.

  I sat on the floor in front of him. “You said you have more things to tell me, and I have some things to say to you, so who starts?”

  “I think you should begin,” he answered. “Because part of what I have to say is, well, I have to show you something.”

  “Okay. When I talked with you yesterday – was it only yesterday? – I got so furious because you didn’t do anything to stop your uncle from ripping us off. But then I talked with... a bunch of people, and they all kind of said that since your uncle is an immoral, mean guy, and since you live with him and your mom, you might have been in an extremely tough spot, feeling responsible to take care of your mom, and at the same time maybe feeling terrible about what happened to us. Everyone reminded me that you could only do so much. And because of that, you were left with feeling guilty. And then I made it worse, I suppose by getting so angry with you.”

  Mitch nodded to everything I said. “I understood you getting angry,” he said. “I would have been been even angrier if the situation were reversed.”

  “Everyone pretty much said that I should give you a chance to say what was going on with you and see if it made sense to me. So that’s where I am right now. The thing is, I thought we were becoming real friends, and that you liked me. But how could you treat me with such disrespect if you truly liked me?”

  “That’s the question, isn’t it?” Mitch answered quietly, looking down at the rug, clearly feeling shamed. “It doesn’t seem as though I could both treat you with such disrespect, as you put it,
and
like you. You’re right. But I really,
really
like you, Nikki. And if I really care about you, then I have to be out of you life, because of all the things that have happened, because of my family, because of my heritage. It wasn’t easy to call your mother today, it wasn’t easy for me to ask her to have you call me. But I couldn’t let you go completely until I had one more talk with you, and saw in you eyes if you despise me.”

  “I think you can see in my eyes that I don’t despise you.”

  “Yes. I see that. But first, I have to finish telling you all the details. All the terrible details.” Mitch stood up and extended his hand to me and helped me to my feet.

  I heaved a huge sigh. I was through with terrible troubles, I didn’t want any more of it. “There are more terrible details? Where are we going?”

  “Next door, to my place.”

  We went through to the living room where Mom was quietly practicing scales. “I’m going next door, to Mitch’s place.”

  “Don’t be long,” Mom said.