The Perfect Christian (19 page)

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Authors: E. N. Joy

BOOK: The Perfect Christian
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Chapter Forty
Willie felt torn as he sat next to Lauren's hospital bed holding her hand, comforting her; letting her know that everything was going to be okay. He felt torn because perhaps instead of being by his mistress's side, he should have been at his wife's side. She was in jail, a place that would always be thought to be foreign to a preacher's daughter. She'd been raised to dream about heaven; now she was living a nightmare in hell. He was sure most would agree he should have been by Doreen's side telling her that everything was going to be okay. But at the moment, though, Lauren seemed to need him more. After all, the doctors had just made her give birth to a dead baby boy. A baby his wife had killed while it was defenseless in his mistress's womb.
“He's dead. My baby is dead,” Lauren said as if she was telling him about the weather. She just looked head-on as if dazed—as if in disbelief. “Willie, our baby is dead.” She turned to him, gripping his hand. “Our baby is dead. Your wife killed our baby.”
Willie looked into Lauren's eyes and could see for the first time it was registering in her mind exactly what had taken place.
“Shhh,” Willie told her. “It's . . . it's okay, baby. It's okay.” Willie rubbed Lauren's head. “Don't you worry about a thing, Lauren; everything is going to be all right.”
“No, no, no, it's not.” Lauren shook her head repeatedly. “My baby, our baby is dead. What about that nice little area in my bedroom you got together for the baby, with that beautiful bassinet and those teddy bears? And all the diapers, blankets, and little cute outfits? I've gotta go home to that, Willie. I gotta go home without my baby. What am I going to do with all that stuff now, huh?”
Lauren began to cry her eyes out as it all began to sink in. Tears streamed out of her swollen black and blue eyes, down her puffy face, and past her bandaged, broken nose and busted, stitched-up lips. “It wasn't supposed to be like this, Willie. You were supposed to tell her about me. You were supposed to tell her about us. You were supposed to leave her and be with me. You were supposed to come here to West Virginia to see about me and the baby—to take care of us. Not bring Doreen with you.” Lauren shot back at Willie all the things he'd told her over the past year. Lies they had been—all lies. Obvious lies since Willie had done none of the things he'd told Lauren he would do concerning getting out of his marriage.
Guilt consumed Willie. He couldn't help but wonder if this, in fact, was all of his fault. Was he to blame for Doreen's actions? Could God, would God, really hold him accountable for someone else's actions? Now he wished he'd paid more attention in church instead of watching skirts in the choir stand. Now, instead of sneaking away from Doreen from the pew pretending to go to the bathroom, all the while sneaking in the back choir room with Lauren, he wished he'd sat his tail right there in that sanctuary and listened to the Word. After today's unforeseen catastrophe, he wished he'd just stayed his behind in Kentucky and never went to West Virginia in the first place.
What on God's green earth made him pick up and do something so stupid? So selfish? He looked down at Lauren and pictured the beauty that lay behind her swollen, distorted face. Those pretty brown eyes with batting lashes, delicately arched eyebrows, that perfect nose and full lips. The body—good Lord, that body. He had to admit, Doreen had a nice li'l figure on her too, but she didn't work it like Lauren worked hers.
Willie shook his head and reminded himself,
That's why—that's why I did it.
Yes, they may have been shallow reasons, very shallow reasons, but they were his reasons nonetheless.
“You didn't leave her, Willie,” Lauren said, jerking Willie from his own selfish thoughts. “Guess you gon' leave me now, huh? Guess you gon' leave me here like this and go running to see about her . . . the woman who murdered your own flesh and blood. You gon' go see about her, huh, Willie? Are you?”
“Lauren, honey, I know this hurts. I'm hurting too.”
“Oh really?” She sounded doubtful. “You're probably glad the baby died. You were probably only being bothered with me because of the baby. Now that there's no baby, there's no me and you.” Lauren began to break down. “Please tell me that ain't so, Willie. I already done lost the baby; I can't imagine losing you too. I'll have no reason to live. No reason to breathe.”
Willie buried his face in his hands. He didn't know what to do or what to say. This was all too much. He never meant to hurt anybody. He never meant for no woman to get hurt; not Doreen, not Lauren, or the other one-night and one-month stands he'd had in addition to them. Doreen was his wife. He loved her above all. She was a part of him. The one-night and one-month stands—they meant nothing. Lauren, on the other hand, had grown on him. Even before she turned up pregnant, there was something about her Willie was drawn to. She was just this young, innocent church girl who knew very little, if anything, about the world. If he wanted to be honest with himself, she reminded him of Doreen. And just like Doreen, she had a singing voice that could put him to sleep at night, and it did—on many occasions.
“So are you? Are you gon' leave me here like this, Willie?” Lauren asked. “Or are you going to be a man of your word and still be with me? Leave Doreen and make me your wife?”
Willie was in the hot seat now. These weren't just rhetorical questions Lauren was throwing at him. She wanted answers, and she wanted answers now. But Willie didn't have all the answers. He didn't have any answers. It didn't take long for Lauren to begin to help him make up his mind.
“She's gon' probably spend the rest of her life in jail anyway, so you might as well be with me. What can she do for you in jail? Nothing. But me, Willie, you and me got a chance.”
Willie just stared down at the hospital floor. Could Lauren perhaps be right? At this point, Doreen hadn't been to trial yet, let alone sentenced. She'd mentioned to Willie something about a plea bargain her lawyer had said was on the table. But Doreen had been adamant about not taking it. Said she wasn't gonna admit to something that would make the world think she was a monster. No telling how long she could be locked up—maybe forever, just like Lauren was suggesting.
As painful as it was, Lauren scooted up in the bed and lifted Willie's face up toward her. “You and me, Willie, we still have a chance. I'm out here free as a bird. God's gon' give us another chance. All we have to do is repent. God can give us our baby back. We can make another one.” Lauren sniffed as tears fell from her eyes. “I want my baby back. I want our baby. We can do this, Willie. We can.”
Lauren wiped her sad tears away and almost instantly filled with excitement. “Her—your wife—being in jail is like abandonment. It's like she left you. No judge in their right mind will refuse you a divorce. Then it will be just you and me, Willie.” She touched her now empty womb. “Just you and me and the baby we can still have.” Lauren stared at Willie while waiting on a response. “So what do you say, Willie, huh?”
Willie thought for a minute. Some of what Lauren had said made sense. Most likely Doreen would have to serve some time in jail. How long, he didn't know. But in jail or not, she was his wife and he loved her. He'd always loved her. He would always love her. But there was nothing he could do for her while she was incarcerated. There was nothing she could do for him. But like Lauren had stated, she was out here with him free as a bird. And she was so fragile right now, he could only imagine how much more it would devastate her if he was to tell her what he was really feeling in his heart.
Lauren was a bird, a free bird, but she was broken right now. She was a bird with a broken wing. She couldn't fly right now—not without his help. So perhaps he could just be there for her until her wing healed and he could set her to flight . . . without him. But for now, he would tell her all the things he thought would make her better, not knowing in the end, they would only make her worse.
Chapter Forty-one
From the hospital room, to the courtroom, to the jailhouse, not to mention his job—Willie was spreading it thin. In two weeks alone he'd lost several pounds. Half the time he didn't know if he was coming or going—or where he was coming or going. One day, in the midst of all the back and forth, he lost his set of keys. He couldn't drive, get into the house, or anything.
Unfortunately, he didn't have enough money to pay a locksmith to help him get into his vehicle or house. He'd paid Lauren's hospital bill once she was released. That's the least he could have done considering his wife was the reason she'd been in there anyway. He was also paying the bills and putting money on Doreen's books. He was always left with just enough for bill money and plenty of alcohol to drown his troubles in. That meant there was no money for emergencies, and needing to get into his house and vehicle was an emergency. The only other person who had keys was Doreen, but the jail had taken all her personal effects when she'd been arrested.
With the help of Doreen's attorney and her signing an affidavit, they released Doreen's belongings into Willie's custody. Even with the keys to his car and house now in hand, he still felt locked out; locked out of his own life. He was living for everybody else; trying to make everybody else happy in their circumstances. Guilt was a mutha, that was for sure. Along with guilt came the feeling of obligation. That meant never being able to tell that person who he felt obligated to the word “no.”
It was official. Willie was a “yes-man.”
“Yes,” Willie said to Lauren's question. He hadn't even really heard her clearly. But he knew from her tone that a question had been posed which required a response. So he said what he always said.
“Oh my God, Willie, for real?” Lauren got up off the couch from where the two had been sitting watching TV. She jumped up and down. “Oh, Willie, I love you so much.” She went and flung her arms around his neck and began planting an array of kisses all over his face. “I can't wait to be your wife!”
Now
that,
Willie heard—loud and clear. “Huh? What?” He gently pushed Lauren off of him until she was seated next to him, his hands around her wrists. “What are you talking about?”
“Boy, quit playing,” Lauren laughed. “I'm talking about you just saying yes to wanting to marry me.” She wriggled her wrists from Willie's hands and threw her hands around his neck again.
Willie sat there in a daze. What on God's green earth had he gotten himself into now? “Well, wait a minute now, Lauren. Yes, I want to marry you, but you know I'm already married.”
“Then we'll just have to take care of that then, won't we? Brother Carl over at the church is a lawyer. I'm sure he'll be glad to help for a small love offering,” Lauren said. “Why, it shouldn't take long to finalize the divorce at all. I mean, heck, your wife's in jail so she can't really fight it. And besides that, you love me. You've been with me almost every day.”
Willie sat frozen. Was this really happening to him? Was it really?
“Oooh, I can just see it now. Us standing before the preacher man vowing to love, honor, and obey. Me in a pretty gown and you slipping a beautiful ring on my finger.” Lauren jumped up and down with her hands clasped together. “I can't wait! I can't wait! And I'm going to make you the happiest man in the world. I'm gonna be more woman than that Doreen ever could have been. No way are you ever gonna want to stray away from me for another woman. Because not only do I love you more than anything in the world, but I know deep in my heart you love me more than anything too. Otherwise, you wouldn't even be here with me. Ain't that right, Willie?”
He was in too much of a state of confusion to even respond.
“Willie?” Lauren went and sat back down next to him on the couch. “You do love me, Willie? Don't you?” She turned Willie's face to face her. “Do you love me? Do you love me, William Tucker?”
“I . . . I do,” Willie had stammered, first on the couch when Lauren had asked him if he loved her. And now he was stammering those same exact words in front of the judge who was asking him if he took Lauren to be his wife.
“And I do too!” Lauren exclaimed. The two witnesses down at the courthouse chuckled at Lauren's outburst.
“Then I now pronounce you man and wife,” the judge said. “You may kiss the bride.”
Lauren eagerly laid a huge smacker on Willie's lips. He just took it all in. He took it in with the hugest lump ever in the pit of his stomach. What had he done? What in the world had he done? That was one question. But the bigger one was how, if at all possible, could he undo it.
“It's been almost a week. Where you been?” Doreen asked Willie during his visitation to her at the jail. “Oh, shoot . . .” she thumped herself on the forehead. “Overtime, huh? You been working overtime in order to prepare for when I get out of this place, haven't you? Sure, you have, and I appreciate it so much. I hate not being able to talk with you. But I know you're just doing what you have to do.” Doreen squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. All she wanted Willie to do was agree—to affirm what she'd said with a nod. Whether or not it was true, Doreen had learned that hearing the truth was sometimes far more than she could possibly bear.
Being the yes-man that he was, Willie simply nodded, followed by a soft, lying, “Yes.” What else could he have told her? That he'd been on a honeymoon with his new bride? The bride that he was legally able to marry because he'd legally divorced Doreen. He divorced her without her even knowing. Thanks to Brother Carl, he learned that getting a divorce was as simple as one spouse filing and alleging that they didn't know the whereabouts of the other. Since they didn't know the other's whereabouts, they couldn't serve them divorce papers. What they could do, though, was list it publicly in the newspaper and hope and pray that the defendant didn't see it and respond, or worse, contest it.
Obviously, all Willie's hope and prayers had paid off, because Doreen was none the wiser that she was no longer legally Willie's wife.
“I'm counting the days, Willie,” Doreen said. “I'm counting the days when I can get out of here and live as husband and wife with you again.”
Willie thought he was about to turn beet red. Was Doreen messing with his mind? Did she know something? She always did have what he referred to as women's intuition, but what she referred to as a spirit of discernment.
“I, I, I can't wait either,” Willie stuttered before their conversation was plagued with heavy silence.
“Well, you been thinking about where you want to move to when I get out of this place?” Doreen picked back up the conversation.
“Uh, well, uh, you know with all the work I've been doing, guess I just didn't have the time to stop and think about nothing.”
“That's all right, because I have.” Doreen's eyes lit up. “I heard about some little town in Ohio called Malvonia.”
Willie scrunched his nose up. “Malvonia? I ain't never heard of that place before.”
“Right! And neither had I. That means probably nobody else has either. And even better, if we ain't heard of Malvonia, then it probably ain't never heard of us. And that's just what we need in order to be able to do this thing right. So what do you say, Willie? Why don't you start looking into things and setting up shop? Even if you've got to go without me and be away for a while, I don't care.” Doreen began to sound desperate—look desperate. “I just want to start fresh again, just like you promised.”
Willie smiled on the outside, but on the inside he felt sick. He'd made a lot of promises lately; some to Lauren and some to Doreen. His only dilemma was which ones he was going to keep . . . and with whom.

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