The Perfect Family (21 page)

“Maybe I wanna live that way.”

“I don’t believe that. I think Jamie’s right. You’re trying to prove that you’re not like him.” Mike winced at his own statement, thinking of when he and Maggie made love just after he found out Jamie was gay. He knew something about proving a point.

“I’m
not
like Jamie!”

“I know, son. But behaving badly isn’t going to help you deal with your feelings about all this.”

Suddenly, Brian deflated, the arrogance seeping out of him. With wide troubled eyes, he asked, “What is, Dad? What
are
we gonna do about Jamie?”

“I don’t know. Father Pete has some ideas. But let’s get back to you. I want your word you won’t do this again. It’s dangerous to your mental and physical health. As far as I know, it’s the first time you’ve been indiscriminate, right?”

“Yeah, it is…”

The phone in Mike’s office rang, halting the memory. He picked it up and heard Laura on the extension. “Mr. Davidson’s office.”

“Hi, Laura. It’s Maggie.”

“Hi, Maggie. Let me see if Mike’s free.”

Irked again, because Laura knew to patch Maggie right through any time, he said, “I’m on, Laura. Hi, honey.”

A click. Then, “Oh, Mike,” Maggie said without greeting. “You won’t believe what’s happened. You have to come home early.”

Her tone of voice told him she had good news. “Yeah?”

“Caroline’s here, Mike.”

“Ah, sweetheart, I’m so glad.” He eyed his calendar and saw he had a meeting at five. “I’ll leave now.”

After he hung up, he shut down his computer, locked his door, and approached Laura’s desk, which was just outside his office. “I’m leaving. Cancel my five o’clock.”

She checked the clock. “Really?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I hope there’s not a problem. Was it Maggie’s call?”

“No, it’s good news. We have company that I’ve been waiting a long time to meet. Feel free to knock off early, too.”

“Mike—”

“Good night, Laura.”

Mike drove home and tried to think positive thoughts. He hoped having Caroline here would be good for them all. It had to be. His step was light as he entered the house. Hurrying down the hallway leading from the garage, he reached the entrance to the kitchen and stopped short. They were both at the sink, staring out the window at the backyard. He noticed Caroline’s arm around his wife, their heads bent toward each other. Same height. Nearly the same build. Even their dresses were of a similar style. Soft laughter, and he wasn’t even sure who it came from. Yes, this was going to be good for all of them.

*

Brian banged in through the door of his house dreading a night with his family. The atmosphere at home was so tense he could barely stand being there. But his mom had called his cell and left a message that Aunt Caroline had flown to Sherwood early and Brian had to come home. She knew him so well. He’d totally planned to blow off dinner.

Jamie would be there. They hadn’t said a word to each other since the fight a few nights ago. And he’d be damned if he’d be the one to apologize. Jamie had narced on him to their parents—a mortal sin between brothers—and Brian was royally pissed.

Ditching his dirty uniform from practice in the laundry room, he went to the kitchen and found a table full of people he didn’t know around it.

“Hi,” he said simply.

His mom’s face bloomed with a smile, causing the tightness in his chest to ease a little. He wasn’t sure she was glad to see him anymore when he came home.

“Hi, honey.” Crossing to him, she kissed his cheek like nothing was wrong, took his hand, and led him to the table. “Bri, this is your Aunt Caroline, your cousin Teresa and”—she ruffled the hair of a little girl the way she used to ruffle his—“this is Chloe.”

Caroline stood. She looked more like his mom than Aunt Sara did. “Hello, Brian.” She hugged him. “Aren’t you a handsome one?”

“Hi. Thanks.” He glanced at the others. “I can’t believe I got a cousin I didn’t know about.”

Like Heather, Teresa had long thick hair and blue eyes. She stood and hugged him, too. “Hi, cuz.”

Chloe climbed off the chair where she’d been drawing, stood before him, and lifted her arms. Bending down, he scooped her up.

“You’re my second cousin, Mommy said.”

“I am.”

She wrinkled her nose. “You smell.”

“Didn’t take a shower after practice.” Though the guys had calmed down some, and even the co-captain talked to Brian alone about what jerks Cummings and his friends were, not a lot of guys showered after practice anymore.

Pushing away the memory, he tugged one of Chloe’s pigtails. “I couldn’t wait to get home.” He scanned the room and noticed his father, who leaned against a wall. “Hi, Dad. Didn’t see you there.”

“How was practice?”

“Tough. We had to do a ton of laps.” He set Chloe down and asked, “So, how come you all came early?”

“It was time,” Aunt Caroline said. “We couldn’t wait any longer to get to know you guys.”

A month ago Brian would have been happy that his aunt had come early. Now he felt like shit about even good news.

“I got time for a shower, right?”

“Sure.” His dad smiled. “We’re going out to the deck to have drinks.”

Before he left, his mom moved in close and squeezed his arm. Brian found himself leaning into her, wanting to be close to her, like they used to be. Man, he’d screwed up so bad.

“Go shower and join us. I made your favorite lemonade.”

Brian didn’t know why that made his eyes sting, then it hit him. His mom had lost this part of her family—Caroline, Teresa and Chloe. People
lost
their families for a lot of reasons. His gaze went to Jamie, who’d sat on a stool and hadn’t spoken to him. They exchanged looks. Jamie’s said clearly,
This sucks.
He hoped his own expression matched his brother’s. Suddenly, Brian wanted peace in his family more than anything else in the world.

*

Jamie peeked out his bedroom window and saw that Brian was at the basketball hoop his dad had put up in the driveway when they were little. Though Brian didn’t play the game at school, he was good at every sport he tried. Aunt Caroline and her family had just left and it was almost dark, but Brian had the garage lights on so he could see the hoop.

Thinking about the night they just spent, about lost families and forgiveness, Jamie made his way downstairs, outside and over to his brother.

Brian stopped playing when he saw Jamie.

And once again, the heat of rejection flushed him. “I can go back in if you want me to.”

“I don’t want you to.” He held up the ball. “Wanna play HORSE?”

His brother was such a jock. Guys couldn’t get together without doing something, though Jamie had missed that gene. So had Luke. Must be a gay thing.

“Sure.”

Bri tossed him the ball. Jamie made the first shot from the invisible foul line. He remembered how his dad had drawn them a real one with paint and his parents would come out and watch them play. God, he missed all that closeness in the family.

“Did you have a good time tonight?” Jamie asked when Brian took his turn.

“Yeah, but it sucks that we had all this family and never got to grow up with them. Teresa’s an adult.”

This was safe ground, Jamie thought. “I know. Did you see Mom tonight? She was like another person. I never saw her as the little sister.”

“Yeah, I noticed that, too.”

“Losing Aunt Caroline must have been hell for her. It’s like she never got over it.” Jamie didn’t think he’d ever in his life forget how she sobbed in her sister’s arms. It had scared the shit out of him.

After making his first two shots, Brian stopped and stared over at him. Jamie stared back.

“I’m sorry I called you a faggot.” The comment wasn’t a non sequitur. Jamie knew the parallel Brian was making about Aunt Caroline without voicing it.

“Thanks for saying that. I’m sorry I narced on you. I was pissed.”

Brian’s arm circled the ball and held it at his side. Before he spoke, his Adam’s apple bobbed. “Jame, why didn’t you tell me you’re gay? I thought we talked through the big stuff. Why didn’t you share this?”

Jamie dropped down on the blacktop and Brian joined him. The glow of the garage lights highlighted the real confusion on his brother’s face. “I was afraid to tell anybody. Do you have any idea how scary it was? Discovering who I was? Feeling so bad about it at first.”

“You don’t seem to feel bad about it now.” Brian’s tone wasn’t critical, but the surprise in it hurt some.

“I don’t. I’m who I am and I can finally celebrate that. Actually, it feels great.”

Brian stiffened. “I’m not rejecting you, but you’re asking me to believe in something, say something is right when I don’t think it is.”

Despite his words, a surge of self-doubt shot through Jamie. Was he so reprehensible that Brian couldn’t tolerate him? “You and Dad believe all that stuff the church spouts, but Mom and I don’t.”

“I know. Don’t you ever worry you won’t go to heaven?”

Oh, God, this was so hard, just like his talk with his dad in Aunt Sara’s basement.
Be careful what you wish for.
He wanted to hash this out with Brian, but hearing what his brother was thinking just about destroyed him.

“I’m not even sure I believe in heaven, Bri. Besides, I think the real issue for you is school. Your jock buddies are picking on you about me and you can’t stand up to them.”

“That’s not true. I did stand up to them. I told them to leave Luke alone.”

Jamie hadn’t known any of that. He wondered if Luke did.

“All right, you want the truth? Here it is. I can’t help it if seeing you two together is hard for me and a lot of other kids at school.”

So much for the truce he was hoping to get out of coming down here tonight. Jamie bolted up. “Fine, if I see you coming down the hall when I’m with Luke, we’ll go the other way.”

Brian stood, too. “Jame, I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I…”

“I’m going in. Stay out here and practice your shots. At least you’re good at basketball. Right now, you’re being a really shitty brother.”

The advent of a new baseball season was normally an up time for the Davidsons. Mike looked forward to Brian’s opener and made it to a few practices. Jamie became Brian’s biggest cheerleader, and Maggie eagerly anticipated seeing her son on the field. This year the initial game took on even more significance because the Ithaca College baseball coach, who’d determine if Brian got some scholarship money and a promise to play his freshman year at his first-choice school, was in attendance.

However, today held little of the spirit of previous seasons. Though they wore their traditional gear—Mike a Spartan baseball cap and Maggie a T-shirt that read
Baseball Mom
—the joy was gone. Brian kept to himself the week before the game, Jamie refused to go with them today, and Mike and Maggie drove over to the high school in strained silence. They’d seen the boys talking out on the blacktop the other night and had hoped the two of them reached some common ground. But afterward, they were even more surly with each other, which had thrown Mike into a depression. The amethyst bracelet on her arm, the one Mike had bought her when they were feeling close, mocked her.

As they made their way out of the car and to the field, Maggie wished Caroline could have come with them today. She broke the ice with everybody in the house. Her mere presence comforted Maggie. Her sister had only been in town three days, and already Maggie felt the bond they’d shared when she was little. Maybe, she liked to think, they’d never lost the connection, it remained dormant, just ready for a breath of new life. But Caroline hadn’t come to the game with them because she and Sara were meeting. By tacit agreement, they’d agreed not to tell their mother Caroline had come back, but her older sister was anxious to see Sara.

Still not speaking, she and Mike reached the steps leading up to the bleachers and came face-to-face with Luke Crane’s parents. Both couples stopped on a dime. Finally, Maggie said, “Lucas, Erin.”

Erin gave her a weak smile. “Hello, Maggie, Mike.”

“I think we need to talk, Davidson,” Lucas said without greeting them. His mouth was set in stern lines, and in the harsh sunlight, Maggie realized he was older than she’d originally thought.

Mike raised a brow. “Excuse me?”

“I’d like a chance to speak with you sometime. Alone.”

Maggie bristled, especially when Mike didn’t automatically refuse. “What about, Lucas?” she asked.

“I think we all know the answer to that.”

Mike glanced at her “That might be a good idea.”

“We’d need to check with Jamie first,” Maggie put in. “I’m not sure he’d like the idea.”

“Perhaps letting Jamie do what he
likes
is the root of this problem.”

“And what problem would that be?” Maggie pushed.