The Perfect Homecoming (Pine River) (24 page)

Emma did not know how she went from fury to kissing him. It happened so quickly, in the space of a second. She had definitely intended to inflict pain and suffering—but then her arms were around his neck.

Cooper grabbed her up, his arms sliding around her waist to hold her tightly to him. He kissed her with as much fire as she kissed him, their tongues tangling, their hands sliding up and down each other’s bodies. They kissed like long-lost lovers, two people who had been searching for each other all their lives, and Emma would not have been surprised if the house had opened up and rain had poured down on them, just like the movies.

He lifted his head, impulsively kissing the palm of her hand that had somehow found his face. “Where is everyone?” he asked roughly as he nuzzled her neck.

“Town,” she murmured, and pushed her knee in between his legs, against his erection. Cooper grabbed her up again, lifting her off her feet and kissing her, then walked with her and fell onto the couch. He pressed his lips against her cheek, her eyes, and her mouth again. “I’ve been fighting it,” he said breathlessly, his eyes roaming her face. “I’ve been fighting wanting you.”

“Me too,” she admitted, and pulled his head to hers. She dipped her tongue between his lips, into his mouth, and sparked a prurient wave crashing through her, shoving her out onto a churning sea of pure, unadulterated desire. It was fantastically electric.

Cooper rolled onto his back, pulling Emma on top of him, his hands on either side of her head, his mouth on hers, and on her face, her ears and neck. He devoured her lips and her tongue while his hands explored her body, her breasts, the curve of her hip. His hands moved on her body, but there was something different about this. It took Emma a moment to realize what it was. Cooper kept looking into her eyes. He kept looking at
her.
He wasn’t groaning over her body, he wasn’t rutting on her. He was actually looking at her.

That realization charged Emma even more, and she was now ravenous for him. Their surroundings—the ranch house, the smell of old smoke, the moan of wind in the rafters—began to fade away. Emma was only aware of Cooper, the scent of his skin, the way he held her, touched her, his movement effortless, the tender look in his eyes. She felt nothing but his taut skin, the hardness of his erection, and the damp heat between her legs.

Their clothing came off, piece after piece tossed away until they were naked. Emma gasped in Cooper’s ear as he squeezed her nipple between his fingers, and pressed harder against him, stretching her body the length of his, and it still wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough. She had never wanted a man like she wanted him.

Cooper twisted again, putting her on her back on that couch and coming over her, taking her breast in his mouth. Emma was moving without conscious thought, her hands on him, her eyes meeting his, expecting to see the lust dim them. But his gaze remained completely focused on her.

Her body raged for him to be inside her, a new, electric feeling, because Emma never
wanted
sex. But with Cooper, everything had tilted. She was surely imagining things, because she felt as if he was looking past her body, as if he were looking directly into her. He could
see
her.

She wrapped her hand around his cock and began to move. Cooper braced himself and looked down at her. His breathing was uneven, his hair a mess. He surveyed her body, unabashedly looking at every inch of her, one hand trailing behind his gaze. “You’re beautiful, Emma,” he said with genuine appreciation. “I know that’s not news to you,” he said, his fingers splaying across her breast. “But you should hear it all the same. You are beautiful inside and out.”

That remark made her heart flutter. Emma smiled with pleasure. “You’re beautiful, too,” she said, and swept her hands up his chest, across his pecs. “You’re kryptonite.”

“What?” he said, his gaze on her body again, taking in every curve, every exposed patch of her skin.

“Kryptonite,”
she whispered. Her arms went around his neck, and she pressed her breasts against his chest. She opened her legs to him, one of them hooking around his back. She pressed against him warm and wet, and felt herself unravel completely, caught up in her torrential desire. He slid the tip of his erection into her, and she could feel his heart beating in his chest, the steady rhythm of it on her breast. He skimmed lower, over her breasts, his hand floating down her side and across her belly, then down again, between their bodies, stroking her as he slowly pushed deeper inside her.

Emma sighed with longing and arched her neck, shifting beneath him, opening wider to his body and his hand. Cooper began to move in her, sliding in and out. Emma was falling away, the cracks in her foundation splitting open, letting Cooper seep into her and burn her with an intensity she’d never felt, as if his heat was branding her. She moved against him, her body rising to meet his, urging him to move harder and faster. Her hands gripped at him, clutching him, holding on to him with the strength of a drowning woman.

He was so hard, so hot, moving in her with unstoppable force. And Emma kept pressing back, kept digging her fingers into his hips, drawing him deeper inside her, wanting all of this, everything he had. She was panting, nearing her climax. Just before she came, Cooper took her chin in his hand and said, “Let me see you.”

That was it, the thing that tipped her over the edge. Emma cried out, arched her back, and a moment later, waves of pleasure crashed over Cooper, spilling hot and thick inside her.

He collapsed beside her, completely spent, his breathing as ravaged as hers. A few moments passed before she awkwardly, but meaningfully, twined her fingers in his hair, then drew a long line down his spine.

“You better not,” he said.

“Better not what?” she murmured, and kissed his shoulder.

Cooper lifted himself up, his eyes the color of a storm. She could fall into those eyes and stay there, bobbing around without a care in the world.

“You better not take anything from me. Because this,” he said, stroking her cheek, “is not
that
.”

Emma smiled. She opened her mouth to speak
. . .

But the sound of a car on the drive startled them both into action.

EIGHTEEN

They scrambled around the living room, both gathering up boots and jackets and clothes as they dashed upstairs. Emma could hear the slam of car doors, could hear Libby and Madeline’s voices on the drive as she and Cooper slipped into her room.

She heard the front door open as she pushed Cooper inside her room, then quietly,
slowly,
shut her door so that the hinges wouldn’t squeak. She turned around and put her back to it, then covered her mouth with both hands as laughter erupted. She slid down to her bottom, doubled over with the laughter she wouldn’t allow to escape.

Cooper joined her there, his back against the wall, a grin on his face. His chest was still damp with the sweat of their lovemaking, and his hair looked as if a rake had been dragged through it.

“Emma!”
one of the women shouted. “Are you here?”

Emma buried her face in Cooper’s shoulder to stifle her laugh.

There was the sound of plodding footsteps on the stairs, the movement of feet down the hall toward her room.

“Is she up there?” Libby shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

Emma and Cooper stilled as Madeline stopped just outside the door.

“I don’t think so!” Madeline called back, so close that it made Cooper jump. Emma put her hand over his mouth, her finger to her lips, warning him to be quiet.

A moment later, Madeline walked away. “She’s not here,” she called down to Libby. “Maybe they went down to the bunkhouse.” Her steps faded away as she jogged downstairs again.

Cooper slowly pulled Emma’s hand away from his mouth. “You’re a grown woman,” he whispered. “Why are you hiding?”

“Trust me,” she said with a smile. “They won’t talk about anything else if they know. Plus, you’re naked.” She reached for his shirt and tossed it to him. Cooper stood, giving her a view of his mouthwatering physique. Had the sex they’d just had been as spectacular as it had felt? Thinking about it made Emma feel a little wonky now, unsteady on her feet. It occurred to her that the things she’d felt only moments ago were things to be feared—how far would the fall be from that pinnacle?

She gained her feet and padded across the room to a bureau. She opened one drawer, found some panties and a T-shirt, and donned them. She reached down and picked up his jeans, holding them out to Cooper. He finished buttoning his shirt and ignored the jeans—he wrapped his arms around her and held her head against his chest. “Come back to LA with me,” he said.

What?
Was he crazy? Did he think anything could really come from a romp on a couch at Homecoming Ranch? “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

She put her hand on his waist and pushed away from him. “Because. I don’t have a job. And I’m needed here. Madeline is getting married.
Leo
needs me.”

“Emma
. . .”
Cooper cupped her face. “Madeline will get married and get on with her life. And Leo
. . .”

Emma’s gaze narrowed.

Cooper didn’t state the obvious. “I want to see you.”

“What are you doing?” she asked, closing her eyes for a moment. “I
can’t,
Cooper. You know I can’t. My life is too complicated right now.”

“I don’t care,” he said, and kissed the corner of her mouth.

Emma’s eyes fluttered shut.

“There is no one like you. And, I think I can help you.”

“
Help
me?”

“Help you sort things out.”

Her heart leapt painfully, and so did Emma, jerking out of his arms, putting some space between them. He thought he could help her? The moment Cooper
saw
her, the moment he understood how bad she was, he would leave her. How could he not? And this time, Emma wouldn’t be able to bear it. “Has it occurred to you that maybe I don’t
want
help?”

He stared at her, surprised. “What’s the matter? Didn’t this,” he asked, gesturing between the two of them, “mean anything to you?”

Everything. It meant everything. But Emma, the girl who had been told all her life she was nothing special, who had been rejected by her father more than once, who led men on and then stole their trinkets, couldn’t even fathom the possibilities of it. So she said the only safe thing she could say. “Not really.”

Cooper looked as if she’d slapped him. Stunned. Hurt. Confused.

“Cooper, listen,” she said, and pressed her hands against her heart, one on top of the other. To hold it in, to protect it. “I told you, I can’t do ordinary things. I can’t be in an ordinary relationship. I can’t do ordinary love. What you think I am? What you think you see? It’s not real. It’s just your idea of real. Think about what I
do.
Think about all the things you’ve heard me say.”

“My God, you are messed up,” he said, his voice full of awe.

“Yeah, I know,” she said, nodding. “That’s what I’m saying. I’m also honest, and I’m being totally honest with you right now. That’s why I said you are my kryptonite. It’s sick and weird, and you should do yourself a favor and go back to LA before it gets
really
weird.”

“Goddammit, Emma!” Cooper exclaimed angrily. She tried to shush him, but he ignored her. “Why are you so down on yourself? Why do you reject something before you’ve even had a chance to think about it? Do you
like
to hate yourself? Do you
like
being a slut? Do you
like
having no one to rely on?”

Daggers, one by one, he shoved daggers into her. But Emma knew herself too well. “I just know who I am.”

“Bullshit. There’s no room for personal growth? For a different interpretation of who you are? Of exploring another facet of
you
?”

Was there room for that? Emma thought of the kisses they’d shared, of the lovemaking on the couch, and how explosive it had been. She thought of how she wanted to do that again and again, feel that heat in her blood, feel that connection to another human being. Of how devastated she would be when he left. No, there was no room.

Cooper slipped two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look up. “You don’t have to do this with me. Not
me
. I know who you are—I saw you that night in Beverly Hills. I saw you today. I have seen you with Leo. Yes, you’ve got some really strange shit going on, but there is more to you than that. Whatever it is that makes you do what you do, I don’t know, but you don’t have to hide from me. I’m trying to tell you I will help you deal.”

“I’m not hiding—”

“The hell you aren’t,” he said. “You hide behind sarcasm; you put distance between you and everyone who tries to get close. I get that you’ve had some rough things happen in life, that maybe the world isn’t as easy for you as it is for someone else. But there is a lot of life stretching in front of you, Emma, and you don’t have to keep living this way.”

She wished she could believe that, or even just hope for it. But she’d lived too many years in her skin to dismiss it just because they’d had great sex. “Do you know how crazy you sound right now?” she said, exasperated. “A guy like
you
?
A guy who could be with anyone he wanted to be with? And you’re going to choose someone like
me
? You’re crazy! Maybe
you’re
the one with issues!”

“I’m not crazy; I’m
into
you. What’s wrong with that? Why can’t you believe it?”

He was scaring her now. He wasn’t thinking, he wasn’t understanding how bizarre her life had become. “Cooper, we had a thing! Don’t read so much into it, okay? I’m not a nice person. I’m not going to magically turn into someone you’ll want to be with. This isn’t
Pygmalion
. You can’t remake me!”

His face darkened. “Thanks for telling me what I want,” he said. “Maybe you should think a little more about what
you
want. You keep telling yourself that you’re no good, and baby, it will become the truth.”

She stared at him, her mind whirling. “I’m not going back to LA.”

Cooper ran his hand over his head. He took the jeans she was holding and pulled them on, then reached for his boots. “I like you,” he said angrily. “Goddammit, I don’t know why, but I like you a
lot.
” He yanked on his second boot and stood up, towering over her. “You don’t scare me, Emma. You don’t put me off. I’m offering you a chance at something
different
. Something meaningful. So I’ll be in LA if you ever wake up.” He started for the door.

“Wait! What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“I have a plane to catch,” he said curtly, and yanked open the door, striding out of her room and down the hall.

“Cooper!” she cried, but he was already on the stairs.

She didn’t go after him; she was frozen. She heard Madeline or Libby cry out with surprise or alarm, their voices rising up almost as one as they pummeled Cooper with questions. Emma heard the rumble of Cooper’s voice outside, then Libby and Madeline again. It all sounded so far away from her. Miles and miles from her.

Emma remained standing where Cooper had left her, swaying a little, light-headed with grief and confusion. Her mind was racing as fast as her heart; she was unable to grasp any thought other than
stupid girl. Stupid, stupid girl.

Emma liked Cooper a lot, too. But she was terrified of disappointing him. How could she not? Eventually, he would see her in all her glory.
Not that cute. Brass tacks coming out of her mouth. An inability to grasp social nuances. Issues with sex
. He would recoil, he would back away. He would leave her! He would choose someone else!

She had done the right thing, rejecting his offer. He didn’t know it, but she’d done the right thing. Hadn’t she?

She could hear Madeline or Libby coming up the stairs, heard one of them calling her name. Emma sank down onto her bed, her gaze fixed on the floor.

“Emma?” It was Libby beside her, pushing her hair out of her face. “Hey, are you all right?”

“I’m fine.”

“I mean is everything okay?” Libby asked, crouching down beside her. Madeline had come in, too, was hovering near the door as if she was uncertain whether to stay or go. “We saw Cooper leave. We didn’t know you guys were up here.”

“Well, now you know.”

Libby put her hand on Emma’s knee. “Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma pushed her hair from her face and looked at Libby’s pale blue eyes.
Yes,
she wanted to talk about it. She wanted to tell them what had happened, to hear it all again. She wanted someone to know how much she was hurting right now. But Emma couldn’t do it. Years of conditioning would not release their hold on her, and she couldn’t make herself admit what had happened.

“I can’t
. . .
I can’t really talk about it,” she said, sounding slightly apologetic.

Libby sighed and exchanged a look with Madeline. That
look
! That
I knew it, I told you so
look.

“Okay, Em.” Libby stood up and walked to the door.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it,” Emma tried to explain. “I just can’t.”

“Come down,” Madeline said, and she touched Libby’s shoulder, as if Libby were the injured one, as if Libby had just sent her best hope for happiness storming out the door. “I’ll make some coffee.”

Madeline and Libby disappeared.

Emma looked to the ceiling and blinked back tears. She hated what she’d grown up to be, but damn if she knew how to change it.

She took a breath and looked down. She turned her hand palm up and opened her fingers, stretching them. She’d held her hand in a fist for the last quarter of an hour, since the moment she picked up Cooper’s jeans and handed them to him. She stared, heartbroken, at the St. Christopher charm she’d taken from his pocket.