The Perfect Life (14 page)

“Is it possible

to feel so much,

that you never really

know what kind of human

you are? If you are filled

with monsters or love or pain

or chaos?

I do not really know what

to make of who I am,

but I am waiting, nearly

bursting, for someone

who can.”

–Christopher Poindexter

Monroe

WHEN I WOKE
up on Tuesday morning, the nerves and hesitation from the previous morning had been replaced with an enthusiasm and anticipation I hadn’t felt since I’d first found out I was awarded the Boston chapter of Mending Hearts. Confident that Oliver and I had established a friendly, working camaraderie during our first day together—soundly ignoring the way he made my stomach flutter more than any other person before him
and
the way I couldn’t stop staring at his package in his pants while in my car—I was eager to learn as much as I could from him while he was staying in town. Strictly in the business sense, of course.

Hurriedly, I slipped into my workout clothes and threw my hair into a ponytail before bounding down the multi-levels of stairs from my master suite on the third floor to the gym in the basement. I couldn’t wait to get a good ninety minutes of training in to start my day off on the right foot. Coincidentally, Colin emerged from the other master suite—which was identical to mine—at the exact moment I passed the second-floor landing.

“Morning, beautiful,” he greeted me with a kiss on my forehead then fell in step next to me as I continued my descent to the lower levels. “How was your day yesterday? Did everything go okay with Saxon? You still feel comfortable around him?”

I nodded and made a feeble attempt to hide the silly grin I could feel growing on my face as a result of hearing Oliver’s name. “Good morning, and yeah, everything went great. We ended up choosing the house in Newton, right off Columbus Avenue, and we’re meeting with the realtor this morning to put an offer in on it. Then I’m gonna take Oliver to the DCF and introduce him to everyone there.”

“That’s awesome, Roe. I was worried about you all day yesterday at practice, and you had already passed out when I got home last night before I could ask you about it.”

We reached the ground floor and I stopped off at the kitchen to grab my morning granola bar and a bottle of water, handing him one of each as well. “No need to worry, babe. I promise. He seems like a really sweet guy, and Allison loves him and trusts him completely.”

Colin cocked his head and shot me a peculiar, inquisitive look. “A really sweet guy, huh? How so?”

“Uh, I dunno . . .” A tingling warmth crept up my neck under his curious gaze and I dropped my eyes to the water bottle, where my fingers were fiddling with the plastic label. “I guess . . . umm, I mean he’s a little dorky and kinda goofy. Really easygoing and friendly. I can see how kids would take to him easily.”

“Hmph,” was all Colin said in response, so I quickly seized the opportunity to change the subject.

“So this week’s game is here at home against Denver, right?” I asked as I lifted my chin to meet his stare once again, hoping he wouldn’t comment on my awkward reply to him asking about Oliver.
I
didn’t even understand why his questioning had made me so uncomfortable, and I sure as hell wouldn’t know how to explain the unfamiliar feeling to Colin.

The expression on his face slowly morphed into a devious smirk as he nodded. “Yeah, it’s early kickoff at one. And actually, that reminds me; Mom and Dad are out of town for their anniversary. Why don’t you invite Oliver to join you, Seth, and Effie in the box? I’m sure he doesn’t know anyone else here, so you can introduce him around, help the guy out a bit. Plus, maybe he and Effie will hit it off or something. With all of the jackholes she usually dates, she could use a
sweet
guy to show her how she should be treated.”

My initial reaction was to scream, “
Not a chance in hell!”
but somehow I managed to hold back the outburst and think before I answered.
What in the world is my problem? First, yesterday, I felt guilty about having a working lunch with Oliver, when I was clearly doing nothing wrong. Now this?

“I-I’m not sure that’s such a good idea,” I stammered. “He doesn—”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” he cut in before I could finish my thought. “What American male doesn’t want to go see an NFL game in a suite with the players’ families? He’ll love it, even if he’s not a football fan.”

I knew by the determination in his voice that Colin wasn’t going to be convinced his idea wasn’t a good one, and honestly, I didn’t have a practical argument otherwise. So pushing aside my reluctance, I agreed to invite Oliver to join us while I silently prayed he’d decline. “Yeah, I’ll ask him today and let you know what he says,” I replied with a half-hearted smile.

“Good.” Colin leaned down and kissed the top of my head before gathering his things to leave and heading out of the kitchen. “I love you, beautiful girl. I probably won’t be home from practice until nine or ten. Don’t wait up. ”

“I never do!” I called out after him.

I heard him chuckle before the door shut behind him, and then I dropped onto the nearest barstool, wondering what in the world I’d just gotten myself into.

You would think that buying a six-million-dollar house with money that isn’t yours would be fun, exciting even. But when Oliver and I walked out of the realtor’s office that Tuesday morning, unsettled nerves churned in the pit of my stomach. Lots and lots of them. Even though we had thoroughly gone over everything from neighborhoods and school districts to bedroom layouts and outdoor living space, I hoped we had made the right decision for the kids, for Mending Hearts, and lastly, for myself. I’d be spending the majority of my time at the house once it was up and running, probably more than I was at my own home, and I wanted to create an environment that both the kids and the employees would love and thrive in.

“What’s wrong?” Oliver asked once we were settled inside my car. “Are you worried they aren’t going to accept the offer? Think we should’ve gone in a little higher?”

“No, nothing’s wrong. I think we made a strong bid, and if they don’t accept at first, that’s what negotiations are for,” I said while fumbling to put the key in the ignition.

Catching me completely off-guard, he reached over and rested his hand on my shaky fingers, stilling my actions with his touch. “I know something’s got you worked up, Monroe. You’ve been licking and rubbing your lips together since the moment we sat down in there, so why don’t you tell me what’s going on before your mouth ends up cracked and bleeding?”

Will you kiss it and make it better?

As the errant thought flitted through my mind, I gasped aloud and my eyes widened in horror. With my hand still in his, I turned to look at him and found him staring back at me with a discerning gaze, probably wondering what my problem was. Then, I did what I did best when I felt cornered: I diverted and redirected.

“Do you want to go to the Pats’ game with me on Sunday? A couple of my friends are going too, and I thought maybe you’d like to get out, meet some people, and see more of the city,” I prattled on without giving him a chance to respond. “I know you said you’re not much of a sports guy, so if you don’t want to, no worries, but Colin’s parents are out of town this weekend, so we have the extra tickets, and I could pick you up and—”

“Monroe, calm down and take a breath,” he interrupted, keeping his tone soft and gentle as his fingers tightened ever so slightly around mine. “I’d love to go to the game with you and your friends this weekend. Thank you for inviting me. But I know that’s not what you were worrying yourself over earlier, so spill it, Peaches.”

My jaw fell open. “Did you just call me
Peaches?
I thought you said I didn’t smell like peaches? Do I stink?” Yanking my hand away from his, I brought my arm up to my nose and sniffed like a bloodhound from wrist to elbow, which in turn triggered Oliver to burst out in a fit of laughter.

“Oh, my God, your face right now is priceless,” he cackled while shaking his head in disbelief.

I cut my eyes at him, daring him to say more.

After a few seconds, he caught his breath and straightened his posture as his expression became more thoughtful. “No, of course you don’t stink . . . or smell like peaches, for that matter.” His lips curled up into a lopsided grin as he ran his fingers through his thick brown hair. “You’re just so tense right now, and I was trying to get you to lighten up. Smile. Be happy. If everything goes right, in a couple of months, you’re gonna have a kick-ass house—that
you
chose for
the kids—to start preparing for a group who needs the stability and support that it provides more than they need anything else.”

Wow. He was right. I knew I’d done my full diligence in choosing the right place, with the kids’ best interest as the primary driving factor throughout the entire decision-making process. It wasn’t the time to second-guess myself. I needed to focus on the finish-line and what needed to be done next to get there.

“You’re right,” I admitted, relaxing my shoulders. “I’ve just been grilling myself all morning, wondering if I made the right choice, worrying about what would happen if I didn’t. I don’t want to mess this up. Failure isn’t an option.”

“The house is nothing but a structural building made up of brick, wood, and sheetrock, all held together by nails. The home is everything that happens inside the walls, made up of laughter, tears, and irreplaceable memories, all held together by love.” Lifting his hand to my face, he softly cradled my chin between his thumb and forefinger and gazed so deep inside me I swore he could see the tarnished depths of my soul. “It didn’t matter which house you picked. You and the love you have for the people inside that structure will be what makes it successful.”

What happened next can only be described as one of those moments in life that one never forgets
.
Like the magical thing in fairytales where the prince and the princess first see each other and time stops while violins play, birds sing, fireworks explode in the background, angels get their wings, and a bunch of other enchanted shit happens. It was a total internal body shift as my axis was thrown completely off-center. I didn’t understand it. It scared the shit out of me, but enthralled me even more. I couldn’t have torn my eyes away from him if I had to. My body heated from the inside out. I didn’t know if I was breathing or if my heart was beating. Nothing mattered but how much I
needed
him to kiss me right-fucking-then.

Our faces gradually grew closer together as his fingers slid around to cup my jaw. His eyes fell to my parted lips and instinctively I licked them, eliciting a gruff, rumbling moan from deep in his throat as he met my stare again. My inner thighs caught fire. I didn’t care who I was, or where we were, or what this meant for everything in my life, or how long I’d known this guy, or how it would affect our working relationship, or any other goddamn thing except his mouth pressed against mine.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

The electrically-charged atmosphere shattered instantly as the sound of someone knocking on the driver’s side window startled us so badly I jumped high enough in my seat to hit my head on the car’s ceiling as Oliver simultaneously snatched his hand away from my face and banged his knuckles against the dashboard.
We don’t look guilty or anything.
Twisting around to see who the culprit was that destroyed my
moment
, I saw Melissa Myers—the realtor whose office we were still parked in front of—standing there with a huge smile on her face while giving me the thumbs-up signal.
Seriously?

A little annoyed and a lot flustered, I rolled the window down and put on the best innocent look I could muster, thanking God she couldn’t get a pulse and blood pressure reading on me. I was pretty sure I was damn close to having either a stroke or a heart attack, but whether it was because I almost let a man who I’d only known for two seconds—and more importantly, a man who wasn’t my husband—kiss me, or because we nearly got caught, I wasn’t sure.

“You got it! You got the house!” she trilled excitedly. “They already accepted the offer, no counteroffer or anything. Once they execute the contract, we’ll put everything into motion so that you can close on November fifteenth. Sorry if I scared you, I just saw your car still here out the window, so I thought I’d tell you the good news in person.”

Learning we’d gotten the house temporarily made me forget about the near-kiss, and I threw open the door to jump out and hug Melissa. I’d been working with her for over six months, searching for the perfect place for the MH house, and during that time, we’d established a casual friendship.

“Thank you so much! This is incredible news! I thought we’d have to wait at least a couple of days to hear anything back,” I said with unbridled enthusiasm as I released her from the embrace.

“I did too, but today must be your lucky day,” she replied, briefly glancing into the car where Oliver still sat then back up at me. “You two should go celebrate. I’ll call you when I have all the documents in and let you know what the next step is.”