The Perfect Solution-A Suspense of Choices (26 page)

“So, you were going to get rid of the baby?”

“No, I don’t know….With Phalene's help I got over my hate. Things mellowed out. The most important thing that happened in the time that we were apart is that I found myself going to church often. I learned things about life and the wrong ways that I had been living it. I prayed for change. I found Jesus and I became a born again Christian and life has not been the same. I know you don't believe it because I curse sometimes. But I am still human. I have vices I need to pray and work my way through and cursing is the main one. I have been doing great until today. I feel like I need to do it to get me through. I don't smoke anymore so using that as an escape is out.

I’ve been carrying the same smashed up package of cigarettes in my purse for the past year and almost fell back into the habit of smoking when I was standing outside of that stupid Perfect Solution Day Center tonight. Again, I have to thank Phalene for being there. I can't afford to fall back into my old habits, but right now I am so angry that I could hurt someone. The thing is,” she sighed sadly. "I can only blame myself. I shouldn't have kept something as important as a child to myself. I was letting my battered heart rule and taking no concern to what my mind was telling me. I loved him and should have given you the chance to do the same.

You should have had the chance to watch him grow. I thought more than a thousand times about calling you, but I knew I wouldn't be able to put up with the idea of you coming around just to see your child. That was really egotistical of me. And look where it has gotten me. I'm alone. I'm sorry. I should have told you. I was just angry and I believed you didn't care how I felt. You never tried to get in touch with me a single time day since our last conversation. I was so engrossed with my own feelings that I ignored how everyone must have felt. For all I know, Brhin may have wanted to know you better. I may never know. I'm beginning to think that the Lord is punishing me for that.

"Catrine, you are not being punished. Brhin will be back. Don't cry."

Holding Catrine close, Austin closed his eyes, stroking his hands up and down her spine in a comforting manner. Feeling the almost convulsive tremors in her shoulders, Austin prayed that some of his strength would flow into her. The only time before tonight that he had seen her in such an emotional turmoil had been on the first night that they had made love. She had cried a lot then, too. All he had wanted to do was hold and comfort her. That was about all that he could do, now. Holding her close to his side, he pulled a Kleenex from the box on the table in front of them and handed it to Catrine.

"Thank you. I don't usually cry."

"I know. I was just remembering the very first time I saw you crying like this. We spent the night cuddled in your bed."

"Well we're sure not going back in there now." She blew her nose.

"That's not what I'm saying and you know as well as I that if I wanted to push the issue, you would be all over me." He smiled disarmingly.

Taking a deep breath to gain more control, she mumbled into the crumbled material of his sweater.

"Still full of yourself, huh?"

"Only when it comes to dealing with you, we may have tried to fool ourselves these past four years, but all we succeeded in doing was punishing each other. Nothing has changed between us. I can tell by the way you draw in your breath every time I get close. And don't forget, as close as I am to you now, I can practically hear your heart racing."

"You are so annoying." She scooted out of his reach.

"You know you don't believe that. What I really was going to say was when our son is back, you’ll be able to do the same with him."

"I hope so. Tonight has been the worst night in my life.”

"And mine. I can't believe I knew nothing about having a son. It did something to me to find out that you didn't even think me worthy enough to be told I was a father. What in the world did I do to make you hate me so much?"

"I don't know. When I found out I was pregnant, I just freaked. I was still angry with you and felt that you would want nothing to do with the baby. You sure as hell showed that you didn't want anything to do with the mother."

"That's not true. I wanted you. I wanted nothing else but you. I just did not want you to have the control over my life that you wanted to have. It took me a long time to convince myself that I was over you. I called your house often, maybe two or three times a day? "

"Really, I dialed your number hundreds of times.”

"Did you really? I never had a single call on my machine."

"I never let the calls go through. I just didn’t know what to say."

"You could have started off with the fact that you knew you were pregnant."

"Yeah, right and you would have told me to take a long walk on a short pier. You know you didn't want a child."

"To be honest with you, the thought had never entered my head. I don't think that I ever thought about the fact that you would become pregnant. The thing that had been running through my head since I found out that I had a son is the belief that you're being pregnant was the main reason that you had wanted me to move in with you. If only I had known."

"You’re wrong about that. I had no idea that I was having a baby. It never dawned on me either. I just couldn't believe that at my age I would be stupid enough to find myself pregnant. How stupid could I be? It took me a long time to realize that Brhin was not the problem. I made enough money to take care of him then and I make even more, now. When I get him back, I will give him everything that he asks for. I never realized that things could end so quickly."

"Well, I can tell you one thing. I won't be going out of his life. I am here now and he will get to know his father."

"What are you saying? Do you mean that you want visitation?"

"Whatever it takes I just want to get to know that boy and to have…" He paused at the ringing of the doorbell.

"I'll get that." Catrine hurriedly crossed the silent, tension charged room and opened the front door. "Hello Detective Serge. Come on in. You remember Brhin's father, Austin Sanchez¸ right."

Catrine introduced Austin when she noticed that he had joined her in the hallway.

"Austin, this is Detective Serge. He is the detective assigned to the case.”

"I know." Austin gave the detective an icy stare. "He's the little pit… we met in his office earlier this evening. Do you have any news of my son?"

Detective Serge gave a knowing smile at the slip made in Austin's statement. More than one person had made the comparison of him to a pit bull. At the station he was famous for his tenacity.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. Great news, I have come to get you Ms. Teddi." He addressed himself to Catrine and then to Austin. "And you also, Dr. Sanchez, to bring you to get your son. A worker called to say that Brhin is hiding in the bathroom at the McDonald's on Washington Street. He refuses to unlock the door until his mommy comes. Detective Williams is there, now."

"Are you sure that this child is my son… our son?" asked Catrine, jerking her arms into her coat. "What happened to the woman that kidnapped Brhin?"

"She ran out. We may never find her." Detective Serge put his hat on his head and rubbed his hand across his chin.

"Maybe you should listen to Brhin's message on the answering machine." Catrine walked into the living room and the two men followed. "It may be very helpful." She rewound the tape once again. Moving away from the desk and close to where Austin stood, she held out her hand.

Detective Serge examined the couple as they stood in front of him listening to the recording. He took notice of Austin clasping Catrine's extended hand without hesitation and smiled. Noting the lack of animosity the couple seemed to have towards each other he wondered what had happened to tear them apart, tonight was definitely the night they needed to be together. Parents of small children needed to find ways around their problems and portray a united front for the child's sake.

"Do either of you have any idea who this woman could be?" Detective Serge asked.

"No." They answered in unison.

"You've never heard her voice before?"

"No."

"No. I don't think so." Catrine answered hesitantly. She had the feeling she had heard the voice before, but was not quite sure.

"The two of you have a very smart son." The officer wrote down the information from the tape. "There are not many of his age that can say so much so clearly, let alone dial a telephone. I'll call this information in and we'll do a search of the neighborhood. I'll call this information in and see if anything can be pulled up."

Standing outside, Catrine pushed her hands into the pockets of her coat and shivered in the damp cold air.

"Should we ride with you?" she questioned the detective. Sneezing twice she pulled a Kleenex from her pocket.

"Put on your hat, Catrine." Austin saved the mentioned article from falling out of her pocket and pushed it into her hands.

"Thanks. It seems like I'll have two bossy people in my life from now on." She sniffed and did as told.

"I think its best you ride with me." Austin answered for the detective. He opened the passenger door of his car.

“That's a good idea, Ms. Teddi." Detective Serge agreed. "I may get called away in another emergency and you will be without a ride."

"Okay." She agreed before climbing into the passenger seat of Austin's car and closing the door. "Oh, my God I can hardly catch my breath." She struggled to attach the seat belt across her waist, moving her hands when Austin pushed them aside.

"Babe, just breathe slowly. If you're not careful you'll hyperventilate. I know how you feel. I'm so excited. I can hardly wait to meet him. Will you tell him who I am? Do you think he will want to get to know me?"

"Yes. I'll let him know who you are. I think you will have to take things slow with him, though. You can't expect to just jump into the 'daddy' routine. He won't take to male discipline easily. There has really been no man in his life other than Phalene's husband Frank and Brhin really loves his Uncle Frankie."

"I don't plan on rushing things. I'd like to spend time with the both of you. Get to know him and then take him around to meet my family. I think we should try to get along. Go out to eat, that sort of thing."

"What are you talking about? Dating? Are you suggesting me and you try getting back together?"

"Yes. Do you have someone else?"

"Well, no. I'm not into that anymore, Austin. I mean, going out and everything is fine, but I don't go into premarital sex anymore. What went on in the bedroom shocked me. I thought I had gotten over."

"I understand what you're saying. I think that there is still something between us. So if we can just take it slow and see how things go…well, we'll just take it from there."

"As long as you understand what I am saying.

The ride to the McDonald's restaurant dragged on to be the longest ride in history and Catrine's mind was occupied with the anticipated thrill of holding her son. She had no doubt that the child using the McDonald's rest room, as a sanctuary would prove to be Brhin. She just knew deep in her heart that it could be no one else. Looking across the interior of the car at Austin, she wondered what he would think of Brhin when he met him in the flesh. Would he love the child instantly? Would he be proud of the sweet beautiful little human being they had created? Would he be able to forgive her for keeping their child to herself?"

"What are you thinking about?" Austin's deep tones cut through the silent darkness of the car.

“I don't know, a lot of things, nothing.” Catrine answered evasively. She turned her head to watch the drops of rain that fell on the windows.

"Well, I'm thinking of how I can't wait to meet, Brhin." He admitted. "I am really nervous."

Catrine turned and looked at him in astonishment.

"You? Nervous?”

"Hell, yeah I'm about to meet my son for the first time. That's a big deal when the child is an infant, but he's almost four years old. He probably thinks that I am some kind of jerk. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't even want to talk to me."

"I would be. I have always told him that you were a busy person. He seemed to have understood. He has been asking about you a lot lately and I had been praying on how best to bring the subject to you. I still believed that you no longer lived in town and so I was building up my nerve to call your mom and tell her about Brhin.”

"Right, for four years I was busy.” He answered sarcastically. “Way too busy to stop by and see him for even a minute? Too busy to even come and visit him on his birthdays? And he had a birthday, what? Six months ago? How could I be that busy? As smart as that child is, don't you think he may have wondered why I wasn't there? He probably believes that I don't like him. I bet these are questions that he has asked himself all of the time. How do you think he felt? Tell me he's never upset. How does he feel when you're too busy to talk or play with him? Tell me he doesn't ever cry or throw a tantrum when you are too busy to keep him happy."

"I can't. I did what I thought was best." She sat back and closed her eyes in order to avoid the accusing looks he was throwing at her. "I'm sorry. As I have said before, I was very selfish. I promise that I will do whatever I can to rectify my mistake between the two of you. Austin, I know I did a terrible thing to both you and Brhin and I have been fighting with myself for some time to contact you, I can't tell you that enough. I need your forgiveness in order to be whole.