The Petite Advantage Diet (33 page)

According to a study conducted by Stanford University, small “nudging” like a phone call, whether from a real person or just a computer, proved to increase the number of minutes the participants exercised, although the “real person” results were higher.
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Given that your partner is a real person and that you are being held responsible for, not just exercise, but overall activity, food (remember, weight loss is 75 percent diet and 25 percent exercise), and sleep, the odds are even greater that you will achieve your goal.

This is why I am also vehement about daily weigh-ins. You need to see the scale each and every day to know if you are actually on a trajectory to lose weight, maintain weight, or gain weight. All three results are data–although the third is a hard one to swallow. But, let’s face it, you are swallowing
something
if the scale is going up. Use this data to your advantage.

Choosing someone for your partner is your first step. He or she doesn’t have to be a Petite, as being petite is not essential for your success. I recommend working with your partner for one month. See what it is like to be held accountable, document your success, and
don’t lie
! Why lie to yourself and to someone who is truly trying to help you deal with a tough issue? You only corrupt the respect you have for yourself and the respect you have for your partner.

After you have that first month under your belt, you have to do what I urged my readers to do in
The Business Plan for the Body
. You have to “go public.” It’s time to tell the world that you are in the weight-loss business and plan on losing weight.

Yep, you have to let
everyone
know–your family members, both at home and your extended family, your co-workers, your friends, your book-club buddies–whoever you come in contact with on a regular basis who may observe that you are looking and behaving differently. This is important, as you need to make a few adjustments, like taking inventory of your family members and friends. According to James Fowler, Ph.D. and professor at the University of California at San Diego, and Nicholas Christakis, M.D., Ph.D. and sociology professor at Harvard, “Having a buddy who packs on the pounds makes you 57 percent more likely to do so yourself.” That is a
huge
figure–57 percent. Fowler goes on to say: “Consciously or unconsciously, people look to others when deciding what and how much to eat, and how much weight is too much.”
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You will find great support from those who are already at a more comfortable weight, but be prepared to deal with the others. Don’t forget, 68 percent of our present population is overweight.

I want to stay on this topic for a moment. I observe,
all the time
, that circles of friends are either really working on their weight or they are not. I see it at my kids’ school, at parties, and at stores. Generally, the women roving in packs appear to be closer in weight. Sure, you occasionally see a few more overweight, but they are clearly in the minority. Look at your own circle of friends and family members. You may see a trend.

If you don’t believe me, here is what three experts have to say on the subject of friends and weight loss:

John McGrail, a Los Angeles clinical hypnotherapist and behavioral expert, says, “Human beings are hard-wired to resist change, so it’s not uncommon to encounter some resistance whenever change occurs.”

Christian Holle, Ph.D. and Assistant Professor of Psychology at William Paterson University, adds, “In some ways, your weight loss becomes a symbol of their inability to accomplish their goals, so they may begin to act resentful–or even mean–oftentimes without even realizing they are doing so.”

Warren Huberman, Ph.D. and psychologist who counsels patients in weight loss, finishes with the fact that “You may find that [friends] are suddenly excluding you from activities, saying mean things, taunting you about your new body or even your new clothes.”
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This issue of how women respond to another’s weight loss is truly important. I had a lovely young woman in her early thirties who lost over 100 pounds. That’s an amazing accomplishment. Unfortunately, the women at her church–that’s right, her place of worship–were horrible to her. They actually went up to her and made comments like: “I bet you think you are better than me now.” Ouch. You go through all the time and effort to lose weight and then get slammed for it. Have your antenna up. Be prepared and, when all else fails, smile!

Look, I get this all the time. Overweight people say to me, “I bet you don’t eat that,” as they point to the mammoth-size cupcakes at a birthday party that no adult or child has any business eating. I politely say: “Oh, I would love one, but then I’d have to cut way back at dinner tonight and I just don’t want to have to do that.”

Please don’t ignore this issue. I am purposefully packing this chapter with research and case studies in addition to my own experiences to prove to you that your environment and the people in that environment are as critical to your success as your belief system. They are influencing your beliefs. Be aware of that fact and be prepared.

Another adjustment you have to make is to keep food off the table. Cornell University researchers found that serving yourself elsewhere–for instance, at the kitchen counter or stove–resulted in 35 percent less food being consumed than when it just sat on the table. You
have
to get the food off the table and out of your sight.
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Since I have talked about children in the past, I think it is also smart to say that, if you are serving the whole family, everyone benefits when you get the food off the table.

This also keeps you from picking. I find picking to be a huge issue for many women–and one that really hits you as a Petite much harder than your taller friends. You don’t have any idea how many calories you are “picking” at, so here’s another idea for you. Every time you go to pick up a leftover chicken nugget (I hope it’s baked!) from your child’s plate or pop in that crust of bread or piece of leftover pizza (I hope it’s made/ordered with less cheese and more veggies), put it in a Ziploc bag and throw it in the refrigerator. Do this for just three days. You won’t believe the responses I got from clients who tried this in the past. Some said that they had to go to a second bag–in just three days! That alone may be a part of the reason why you are struggling with your weight. Picking counts and, by going back to the math, you will find that those pickings add up very fast.

Another step you can take is to beware of “Dining with Dames.” According to a study by Meredith Young of McMaster University in Ontario, “women eat nearly 250 calories less when they dine with men, compared to when dining with other women.”
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The author theorizes that “subconsciously, women may feel that men will find them more attractive if they don’t eat a lot.” You should have your antenna up and activated when you are eating with other women.

And make sure that you keep temptation out of sight
and
out of mind.

There was a recent article in the
Wall Street Journal
entitled “Eating to Live or Living to Eat” that talked about how the brains of the overweight and obese “light up” when they see, smell, or just hear of certain foods like sugary desserts. The researchers found that:

• Brain scans of the overweight and obese showed that they had stronger reactions to the image, smell, or sound of certain foods–generally fatty sweets like cake–than to leaner foods.

• Obese people stop responding to the hormone leptin, which I will explain in the next chapter with regard to sleep. Those individuals who were sleep-deprived showed diminished levels of leptin. If you recall, leptin is the hormone that tells your mind and body that you are getting full and helps you to push away from the table. The issue here is that obese bodies
are
producing leptin in larger quantities than their leaner counterparts, but the brains of these obese individuals stop taking its cue.

• Tempting food
does
stimulate the release of the “desire chemical” dopamine, and this happens in both obese and non-obese individuals. However, the obese appear in studies to possess fewer dopamine receptors. Therefore, they derive less pleasure from eating the sugary, fat-laden food and this sets them up to crave even more. It’s a bit like the drug addict who could get high when they first experimented with drugs on a small dose. But over time, they require more and more to mimic the same response. It sounds to me as if the same is happening with food.

I have often had women tell me how full and uncomfortable they feel–“I am totally stuffed”–and then order dessert
and
pound the cookies and chocolates sitting on the table as they drink three cups of coffee that is actually half coffee, half cream. I don’t need to tell you the size of these women.
⁸

I believe that you truly
must
do the following, at least for the first twenty-one days of this plan:

• Remove all tempting food from the house. I mean all of it. I don’t want to hear, “but the kids need crap in the house.” No, they really don’t. Load the house with fruit, vegetables, lean protein, and other things that are on your plan, and watch everyone benefit.

• Decline invitations to meals with people who will not be respectful of your needs. You don’t need people around you who say, “Oh, you can cheat tonight with me.”
No, no, no
. These are exactly the kind of people that will derail your success. Why is it that people feel they have the right to determine when you will cheat? Isn’t that your choice? I actually urge you to call your hostess in advance and politely let her know that you are on a specific plan, and request that she please keep all Addie foods on the side and not mention that you are on a special eating plan unless you want to bring it up. People also feel compelled to say things like “Just so you know, my friend, Pamela, sitting over there, is on a diet.” That puts the kibosh on the whole experience. You know who these women are. Avoid them until you are mentally and psychically ready.

• Jump in and decide what restaurant you are going to go to for meals. I have a few favorites in Chicago. One, which happens to be Oprah’s favorite as well, RL, actually serves what they call “Jim Karas Chicken,” which is chicken paillard (that’s the pounded, thin breast) cooked without oil and with lots of lemon. Then I can have whatever steamed veggie I want (I generally try to stay in season for freshness) on the bottom. I love it; I eat it all the time. It fills me up and usually half the table orders it with me. Clients and friends in the restaurant actually hold their plates up and show me that they are eating my dish. It’s simple. Remember, the steak house is your best friend. Visit it as often as possible.

And above all, watch for triggers. Now, this could apply to almost everything I have talked about in this chapter, since people, places, and situations can
all
be placed in the “trigger” category. I define a trigger as a “loss of control over eating.” David Kessler, M.D. and author of
The End of Overeating
, reports that triggers happen to “50 percent of the obese, 30 percent of the overweight and even 20 percent of those at healthy weight.”
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You need to be extremely aware of these triggers, as they generally lead to big splurges that pack the pounds on Petites. As I urged you before,
plan
. Download menus, ask–whatever it takes to keep the pounds off and you on your plan.