The Pioneer Woman Cooks (29 page)

10. Repeat until all the meat is cooked.

11. Return all the meat to the skillet and add the cooked onion. Pour in Worcestershire sauce, several dashes of Tabasco (according to taste), and an additional 2 tablespoons of butter. Simmer the mixture over low heat for about 5 minutes to thoroughly warm.

12. Cut each roll in half lengthwise. Spread generously with butter, then brown on a griddle or skillet.

13. Place the rolls face up on a plate, then place the meat mixture on the bottom half.

Spoon 2 or 3 tablespoons of the pan juices over the top. This will keep the meat moist and seep into the bread, which makes for an utterly decadent sandwich. It also will require you to walk 132 miles to burn all the calories.

14. Top with the other half of the roll and serve with a crunchy green salad. You’re about to make someone really happy.

VARIATIONS: If I weren’t married to a straight-up-meat-and-potatoes rancher, I would probably cook a bunch of sliced mushrooms with the onions. I’d add a little sherry to the meat mixture. And I’d melt a little sliced mozzarella on the top. But that’s just me. Truth is, you could play around with this sandwich as much as you’d like: different veggies, different seasonings (thyme, fresh garlic, and so on), or different cheeses. Go play!

Oh. One more thing. If you’re looking to shrink your waistline, you might want to steer clear of this sandwich.

Boys will be boys!

ONION STRINGS

Makes 2 serving

I know they don’t look it, but these teeny tiny, thinly sliced fried onions are so pleasantly flavorful and crisp, and such an utterly perfect accompaniment for so many different main courses, that they really need to be placed on some list of Side Dishes of All Time. Yes, sir. Right next to sweet lime pickles and tiramisù.

No, I’m not pregnant. But thank you for asking.

Making these fried onions is so simple, but there are three crucial steps. First, you must slice the onions very thinly, which requires either a sharp knife or mandoline. Second, you must soak the onions in buttermilk for at least an hour before frying. Third, you must ensure the oil is 375ºF before throwing in the onions. I won’t go into the scientific reasons behind these requirements, because that would take away from your onion strings eatin’ time—so let’s get cracking!

1 large onion2 cups buttermilk (if you don’t have any in the fridge, see In the Morning)2 cups all-purpose flour1 scant tablespoon saltPlenty of black pepper¼ to ½ teaspoon cayenne pepperCanola oil for frying

1. Begin by peeling the onion and slicing very thinly.

2. Separate the onion slices and place them in a shallow dish. Pour buttermilk over the top.

3. Press the onions down so they’re submerged as much as possible and let them soak on the counter for at least an hour. If necessary, stir them around a bit halfway through the soaking process.

4. In a bowl, combine the flour, salt, black pepper, and cayenne.

5. Pour 1 to 2 quarts canola oil in a pot or Dutch oven. Heat to 375ºF, or until a pinch of flour sizzles when sprinkled over the pan.

6. Using tongs, remove a handful of onions from the buttermilk and immediately dunk into the flour mixture. Coat the onions in the flour mixture, then tap them on the inside of the bowl to shake off the excess.