The Pioneer Woman Cooks (6 page)

6. Wrap bacon slices around each half, covering as much of the surface as you can. Be careful not to stretch the bacon too tightly around the jalapeño, as the bacon will contract as it cooks.

7. Brush the surface of the bacon with your favorite barbecue sauce. Chutney or apricot jelly works well, too!

8. Secure the jalapeños with toothpicks and pop them in the oven for 1 hour, or until the bacon is sizzling.

9. Serve hot or at room temperature, and watch them disappear within seconds. I’ve seriously caught guests stuffing these into their purses. Sometimes I have to call law enforcement.

HELPFUL HINTS: Make three times more than you think you’ll need. (You’ll just have to trust me.)

Poppers can be assembled up to a day ahead of time and kept in the fridge before cooking. Or, they can be fully cooked and frozen in plastic bags until you need them. Just thaw and warm up in the oven before serving.

Unless you’re prepared to become instantly addicted, do not place two of these on your hamburger. I mean it. Don’t. There’ll be no turning back after that.

Variations

• For a simpler version, omit the cheddar and green onion from the cream cheese.
  
• Cut sliced peaches or pineapple into small bits and press them into the cream cheese before wrapping the jalapeños in bacon.
  
• Use Pepper Jack cheese in place of the cheddar cheese
  

PICO DE GALLO

Pico de gallo should be sainted. The freshness of tomatoes, the clean flavor of cilantro, the cool, crisp wonderfulness of it all. I just couldn’t get by without it.

I used to have trouble making pico de gallo. For the longest time I mistakenly assumed that tomatoes were its chief ingredient, and the rest of the elements—onions, jalapeños, and cilantro—were just there to inject subtle flavor. Whenever I’d try to make pico de gallo, it usually went something like this: Chop a whole bunch of tomato. Add a tiny bit of onion, a couple of spoons of chopped cilantro, a teeny-tiny spoonful of fresh jalapeño, a bunch of lime juice, and a ton of salt. And it wasn’t good. Ever. And I’d cry over my tortilla chips. Oh, how I’d cry over my tortilla chips.

Fortunately, I met Ana. Oh, is Ana ever divine. She lets me practice my horrendous Spanish on her and she giggles at everything I say. Most important, she makes the most wickedly delicious Mexican food I’ve ever had, not the least of which is absolutely perfect pico de gallo.

Here’s the most important thing I learned from Ana: tomatoes are only one aspect of pico de gallo. The jalapeños, cilantro, and onions all require equal billing with the tomatoes to make pico de gallo work. Once I learned this important truth, I hit the ground running and haven’t stopped making pico de gallo since. It has replaced ketchup as the most popular condiment on the ranch.

I make up a couple of big bowls of pico de gallo every week, and I never run out of uses for it. On hot summer days when Marlboro Man returns from working cattle, sometimes a bowl of pico de gallo and tortilla chips is all he wants. It’s cool and satisfying, and usually tides him over till dinner. In addition, I use pico de gallo in any number of dishes I cook: with tacos, inside quesadillas, atop grilled chicken or a bowl of pinto beans—its versatility is endless, and it gives me a great excuse to plant way too many tomatoes every year.

Yellow or red onions JalapeñosRoma tomatoes (slightly underripe is fine) LimeCilantro Salt

1. Dice up the onions. I like to keep things pretty fine so the pico de gallo will be more palatable to folks who don’t like large chunks of onion and tomato.

2. Next, dice up an amount of tomatoes equal in quantity to the onions.

3. And grab a bunch of cilantro equal in quantity to the tomatoes and chop it up pretty finely.

4. Now, slice 1 or 2 jalapeños in half (see warning about jalapeños in the headnote on Starters). With a spoon, scrape out the seeds. (If you like things spicy, leave in some of the white membranes.)

5. Dice the jalapeño very finely; you want a hint of heat and jalapeño flavor, but you don’t want to cause any fires.

6. Now dump the four ingredients into a bowl. Notice that there’s an equal quantity of onion, tomato, and cilantro. This is the secret of perfect pico de gallo!

7. Slice a lime in half and squeeze the juice from half a lime into the bowl.