The P.J. Stone Gates Trilogy (#1-3) (28 page)

“Okay. But not even one single strand on his head will be harmed. Your word.” I held my breath, waiting to see how he’d respond.

“My word to you that I will hold him as my prisoner until you agree to let me claim you. At that time, he will be released with no permanent injuries to his body or powers.” Khol continued to grind his teeth together. “That’s as much as I can offer.”

I nodded once tightly, knowing it was the best I was going to get for Bryn. “No, Peej. You can’t. We’ll find a way, I promise.” I wanted to believe him, and a small part of me did, the part of me that still believed he could do anything—the part of me that still trusted him so completely that if he promised me something, that in itself would make it reality.

I didn’t turn to look at Bryn for fear of my heart breaking into a million pieces. I would give myself to Khol as soon as possible, so they wouldn’t have time to hurt him in any way. I hadn’t missed what Khol had implied with his words: no permanent damage. That still left a lot on the table for them to torture him with. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Khol growled at Bryn. “Take him away.”

Bryn howled my name as chains rattled from the strength of his fight, and still, I refused to look at him. Finally, when all was silent and I knew he was gone, I looked up at Khol and tried to put all the hatred that I now felt for him in my gaze. “I hate you,” I said just as my head swam and I collapsed to the floor.

I awoke to Khol staring down at me. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” I sensed his words were sincere, and that made them that much worse.

“Bryn and I are meant to be together. We always have been.” Raw agony ripped at my insides with the thought of really and truly losing Bryn, not just for a year but forever, and it made me begin to contemplate if it would be hard to take my own life. Maybe it was my only option for an escape. But then what would Khol do to Bryn after I was dead? I had no doubt he would kill him; therefore, I would have to gain Bryn’s freedom first. And that would mean having to let Khol claim me. It was hard to believe that such a short time ago, a part of me had responded so feverishly to Khol’s kisses, to his touch, when now the mere thought of his hands on me left me ice cold. Maybe it had something to do with the beginning of the
Anam Cara
mark from Bryn, or maybe the reality of possibly losing Bryn forever had finally hit home. I knew positively, without any doubts, I would never love anyone else the way that I loved him—he was my home—always had been and always would be.

“If you were meant to be with him, then you would end up with him, and I can assure you that won’t be happening. You will be my
Anam Cara
, not his.”

A strangled cry of frustration escaped from me. “Why?” I stared at Khol, looking for some kind of clue. “Why do you want me so desperately? It’s not like you’re in love with me, you can’t be. Why not find some other nice lady dragon and claim her so that I can be with Bryn?”

Khol reached his hand out to touch my face, and as I shrank back from him, a look of hurt flickered across his face before indifference settled there. “Do not pretend to know the depth of my feelings for you.”

Reasoning with him obviously wasn’t going to work. “I’ll let you claim me, but I hope you know it’ll still be rape because I’ll only be doing it for Bryn, and I’ll be thinking of him the whole time.”

Anger sparked to life in Khol’s eyes, and he roughly grabbed me by the side of my face. “Watch what you say to me, my little Seer,” he snarled, pressing his lips to mine and thrusting his tongue into my mouth with force before pulling back to stare at me, his face mere inches from mine. “You do not wish for me to show you the real meaning of the word rape. You would be wise to remember that I’m not human, and I’m only trying to observe human rules for your sake.”

And then I did something really stupid: I reached back and smacked him across the face with as much strength as I was capable of, which wasn’t much, but enough to leave a red mark. The sound of my hand hitting his flesh seemed to echo inside the large room. “I’m not entirely human either,” I hissed without flinching away from him. I was fully prepared for him to retaliate in some way, whether it be hitting me or forcing himself on me further, but to my surprise, he rose and stalked across the length of the room, disappearing before he reached the door.

I exhaled a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I had to trust in the fact that Khol had promised not to harm Bryn, so he wouldn’t suffer for what I’d just done, although I felt sure that eventually I would. Khol may not have retaliated immediately, but I knew it wasn’t the smartest thing in the world to antagonize him. After all, he wasn’t human, as he had just reminded me.

I paced the room, strung out from my nerves. I wanted to see Bryn, talk to him, and make sure they were treating him decently, although I didn’t think I’d be able to look him in the eyes knowing what I was going to do with Khol. I knew I should be worrying more about the alien infestation problem our world was suffering from, but how could I do that when my entire future hung in the balance?

My mind kept conjuring up images from me and Bryn’s shared past—all the birthdays we’d had together, all the nights we’d platonically slept in each other’s arms, and of course, when we’d first crossed that line, becoming more than friends. I wished I would have known at the time that those few moments I’d spent in Bryn’s arms, letting him love me, would probably be the last I would ever have. Maybe I would have been able to make them last longer, drawn them out somehow. If only I could have figured out my true feelings for him sooner, we could have had so much more time together.

“Khol!” I yelled. “Just let me see him! Please! Don’t cut me off from him completely!” If he cared for me at all, maybe he’d give in. He had to be sensing the anguish his actions were causing me. “I love him!” I cried out in agony. Probably not the best thing to say, but it was the truth.

Khol appeared, his face a mask of indifferent as he looked at me with his illuminated green eyes that were filled with something I couldn’t read. “You know I can’t let you do that. Not until after I’ve claimed you.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” I went to him, dropping on my knees before him, ready to beg with everything I had in me to be able to see Bryn just one more time before he was ripped away from me—again.

“You’re pleading is pointless. I won’t give you what you want.” His voice was flat, devoid of all emotion.

“Why? Why are you doing this?” I asked again. I still couldn’t understand his true motivations. Why me?

“Dragons don’t fall in love like humans. It’s not the same.” Khol’s eyes flicked away from me as he spoke. “When a male dragon falls in love, it happens fast, and it’s forever. He will do anything to be with her, even fight to the death to possess her, and for that reason it doesn’t work that way for female dragons, because some of her suitors could be killed off. Her bond doesn’t become eternal until an actual
Anam Cara
mark is placed upon her.”

“And what happens after the female bonds with one of her suitors? I mean, what happens to the male dragons who live but didn’t get her?” I had to know what would happen to Bryn.

“They continue to love her, but they accept that she’s out of their reach. Most of the time, they enter her service in some way in order to simply remain close to her.”

“So they never bond with anyone else? They never fall in love with anyone else?”

“No.”

“That can’t be true—I mean Macon—I mean, he was with Jenna and—” I couldn’t gather my thoughts properly.

“It’s true that Macon would have taken you up on your oh so kind offer.” Khol’s jaw ticked with tension. “And he would have welcomed the chance to claim you for his
Anam Cara
because of your power, amongst other things, but—” He dropped to his knees so he could look into my eyes from the same vantage point. “He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t love you like I do.”

I stared at Khol, unable to speak. If what he had just told me was true, then I could almost understand why he was being so ruthless in order to get Bryn out of his way. Because he loved me, it was either claim me for his, or live out the rest of his days loving me from afar, never being able to have me. So instead, he was dooming Bryn to that fate. “How can you love me? You practically just met me,” I finally managed to squeak out.

Khol smiled. “What’s not to love? You are unlike anyone I’ve ever met in my very long existence. My heart had no shields strong enough to keep you out. I knew I wanted you from almost the first moment I laid eyes on you when you awakened me from my slumber.” He stood and walked away, talking with his back to me. “I was willing to wait. I was willing to honor your human side, for I knew your dragon side would come to crave more, and then I would make you mine. And it was happening; I felt your willpower to resist me weakening, despite everything else. But finding out that Bryn is part Black Dragon changed everything.”

“It changed everything for you, but nothing has really changed. It’s been this way from the beginning. I’ve belonged to Bryn since I was five years old. He’s my home.” I put all the pleading that I could into my voice.

“
I
will be your home.
I
will be your everything. That’s what it will mean to have me as your
Anam Cara
. Don’t think I haven’t picked up what you’re feeling for him. I know your love for him is real, not the human puppy love your family all believes it to be.” The tension in Khol’s body was evident in his shoulders and back as he gripped his hands together so tightly his knuckles started to turn white. “And I want that. I want you to feel that way about me.” He whirled around to face me again, his expression half crazed, at least by human standards. “And you will. You will feel that way about me.”

“No. It doesn’t work that way. You can’t make me love you.”

His voice softened, and his face filled with longing as he looked at me. “You’ll eventually come to love me because it’s in your nature. You must be in love, you must feel that kind of passion. And it’ll be easier for you to give in to those feelings once you’re my
Anam Cara
. ” He dropped down in front of me. “I never thought it was possible for me to feel this way about anyone. I would give you the world. I would do anything for you—except for one thing.”

My voice cracked. “Let me be with Bryn.” Of course, that was the one thing I wanted more than anything.

“Yes. Except for that.” Khol rose from his crouch and began to pace. “He isn’t strong enough to protect you. He doesn’t have enough resources to give you the lifestyle you deserve. He is lacking in almost every single category.”

“I don’t care about those things. He’s who I want. He’s who I’ve chosen. It’s not fair for you to take my choice away from me.” My voice began to climb octaves as it sometimes did when I was upset.

“It may not be fair, but it is the way of the dragon, and you were both born into it.”

“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind then, nothing I can do?” I asked with hope in my voice, even though I knew what his answer would be.

“No. There is nothing.”

“Can I see Jenna? Jeremy?”

“Not for now. I think it’s best if you’re left alone with your thoughts so you can figure things out for yourself without your friends’ influence. After all, they will never understand—they are not dragon.” He stopped midstride in his pacing and glanced my way, not meeting my eyes. “I will not come to you again until you’re ready for me to claim you. Call for Drake if you need anything. You can trust him.” And with that, he vanished right before my eyes.

I was a bird in a gilded cage, or more accurately, a dragon in a gilded cage. Drake brought me any meal I wanted to eat, any book I wanted to read, and any random object I told him I wanted. It was kind of amusing to request odd things just to see if he’d get them for me, but that also got old fast. I had my own private bathroom that had a huge claw-footed bathtub that I’d taken to luxuriating in, but even a girl like me could only take so much pampering before I thought I’d go out of my mind. I had no contact with the outside world at all, and the only person I saw was Drake. He didn’t seem to like me very much though, probably because he’d figured out what I was doing with my odd request game, so he spent as little time with me as possible.