The Plan (14 page)

“Mommy?”

A little voice popped up above the beat of the tune.

Instinctively, Claire turned. “What, baby?”

“It's okay,” Valerie said, to a small girl beside her. “You can have a piece of cake. Tell Daddy I said it was okay.”

Claire stopped spinning and stared at the little girl. It was Ava, but it wasn't. She was taller. Thinner. Her hair was longer than Claire remembered.

She was older.

How had she gotten older?

The little girl looked up at Claire. “Hi, Ella and Lily's mom.” She waved at Claire and then ran back toward the house.

Ella and Lily's mom.
She'd forgotten the kids had called her that. Ella and Lily's mom. She used to think it was so weird the kids had never called her Mrs. Matthews or Ms. Claire. Just “Ella and Lily's mom” or “Luke's mom.”

That was her identity.

She stumbled a bit and grabbed onto Valerie's arm, trying to balance herself.

“Are you hungry?” Valerie said. “You must be. I think it would be good to get some food into that stomach. It's getting a bit chilly. Did you bring a jacket?”

A jacket? It was getting chilly. She hoped she'd packed jackets for the kids. They always got so cold after swimming.

“Where are the kids?” she asked Valerie.

“Oh, I think they're all eating their dinners around the pool. Loni had little picnic tables set up for them there.”

“I should go see if they've gotten enough to eat. Lily doesn't always eat enough.”

“Um, Claire, let's go sit down.” Claire noticed Valerie's tone was now quite serious.

“I'll sit later. Let me go check on the kids. Luke tends to eat nothing but dessert. If he's left to fix his own plate, he'll fill it with cake and cookies and no dinner.”

Valerie's grip on her arm tightened.

“Ow. What are you doing?”

“Claire,” Valerie said, her voice now gentle. “Your kids aren't here.”

“What do you mean they aren't here? I wouldn't come without them. They
love
playing with your kids. They'd be so mad at me if I left them at home!”

Her face was feeling hot again. She could feel the sweat forming on her lip. She pressed the palm of her hand against her cheek, in an attempt to cool her skin.

“Claire, dear, I really think maybe we should go inside. How about I take you into a guest room where you can lie down for a bit?”

“Lie down?” Claire could hear her own voice rising. “Why would I want to lie down? Who's going to watch my kids if I lie down? You know Jack never keeps a close enough eye on them.”

A crowd had somehow formed around her. Other moms and dads. They were all looking at her.
What was their problem?

She yanked her arm free from Valerie's grasp and pushed past the couple in front of her, two lesbian moms who had a son in Luke's grade.
Mindy and Cindy.
Something stupid like that.

“Excuse me,” Claire said. “I need to get through.”

She tripped over something. She wasn't sure what. Maybe her own flip-flops. She caught hold of Joe's arm, just as he got close to her, and steadied herself.

“Where you headed, Claire?” The voice was gentle, but firm. It was posed as a question, but it somehow sounded like a command.

“Oh hey, Joe,” Claire said. “I'm heading over to the pool. Valerie said the kids were eating there.” She looked around his chunky frame. She could see a number of children running in the distance and could hear their laughter and screams. She hoped the girls were wearing their swimming vests. They weren't good swimmers yet. She'd been meaning to put them in lessons, but somehow, had never gotten around to it.

“Yep, I think they are. But why don't we go inside and get you some food, too?” He stepped in front of her, blocking her view.

“What is
with
you people?” Claire said, irritation filling her voice. “I said I want to go see my kids.”

“Claire! Claire!
What
is going on?” Suddenly, Loni was in front of Claire. “Did I give you a little bit too much wine?”

Loni's voice was light and teasing, but Claire could sense a tension under it.

“No, you didn't give me too much wine. I'm tired from dancing and want to check on my kids before I eat dinner. Is there a problem with that?”

The color sapped out of Loni's face. Claire could see it literally drain down from her forehead to her chin, a smooth cascade of peach that left nothing but chalky white in its wake.

“But, Claire,” Loni said, her voice shaking. “Your kids aren't here.”

“What do you mean?” Claire was getting fed up with Loni and all the other parents at this party. “I wouldn't come to a pool party without my kids. They love to swim.”

Claire could feel Valerie's hand back on her arm and she fiercely shook it off.

“Hands to yourself, Val!” When did people become so touchy-feely?

“Claire, your children are gone.”

“What do you mean
they're gone?”
Claire stepped closer to Loni so their noses were nearly touching. Claire wasn't one to get into a fight, especially not a physical one, but damn it, these people were pissing her off. “I didn't give my kids permission to go anywhere.”

What had they done with her kids?

No one messed with Claire's kids.

“Claire, they passed away.” The words were so soft. A whisper on the wind. But the sting was so intense, Claire felt the knife enter her heart.

They
what?

That had been a dream, hadn't it? Her babies weren't really gone. They couldn't be gone. She was here at this pool party. She was with all the other parents. She could see their kids running around the yard, diving off the board into the deep end of the pool. Her kids must be in the midst of it all. They were always at the center of the fun.

They
were
the center of the fun.

They were
her
fun.

Shaking free of all the hands that were suddenly upon her, she shoved past Loni and began to run toward the pool. Her heart pounded to the beat of her feet racing on the soft ground. Loni was wrong. All those people were
wrong.
She'd show them. Her kids were here. They were eating pasta and pickles and ice cream and brownies. Just like all the other kids. They would have messy faces and chocolate dripped on their bathing suits.

“Lily! Ella!” Claire called as she reached the gaggle of children. “Where are you, girls? It's time to go.”

The children were running around her in circles, playing some sort of game of tag. Or maybe hide-and-go-seek. Her girls must be hiding.

Claire spotted Luke at the picnic table at the far end of the yard. His blond hair was tousled from playing in the pool for so long. She imagined his fingertips were prunes and his lips must be blue from the cold. He never could handle the cold very well. She could see him talking and laughing with a bunch of boys. His body quaked with glee at something the boy in front of him said. His back was tan and smooth. She wanted to wrap her arms around that smooth skin and hold it to her.

“Luke!” she called out. “Where are your sisters? Have you seen them? I can't find them.”

Luke didn't turn around, but kept giggling with his friends.

He never pays attention.

“Luke!” she called louder. “Luke!”

She reached the table as the group of boys let out of whoop of laughter. She grabbed his shoulder to spin him around.

“Luke! You need to listen to me when I call you!
Where
are your sisters?”

Luke turned his head and looked into her eyes. Only it wasn't Luke. It was Timmy Cox, one of Luke's Boy Scout buddies. He stared at her as if he'd seen a ghost.

“Timmy! I'm sorry. I thought you were Luke. Do you know where he is? I can't find him or the girls.”

Timmy's eyes filled with tears and fright. He looked around her.

“Mom?” he said, calling out into the distance.

“Timmy, I asked you a question.” Claire put her hands on his shoulders. “Do you know where Luke is? I said I can't find him.”

Timmy wouldn't make eye contact with Claire again. Frozen in place, he called out again. “Mom!”

Rachel Cox came running from behind. “It's okay, honey.” She sat
down on the bench and put her arms around her son, pulling him from Claire's grasp.

“Oh, Rachel. I'm so glad you're here. I was just asking Timmy if he's seen Luke.”

Rachel's eyes were also brimming with tears. Timmy buried his head in his mom's lap and she rubbed his head.

“You're scaring him,” Rachel whispered to Claire.

“What do you mean I'm scaring
him?
You're all scaring
me!
I just want to know where my kids are. Why won't anyone tell me?”

She felt another hand on her forearm. Valerie was back again. Claire tried to shrug her off, but this time Valerie's grasp was tight.

“Okay, Claire. Enough. Let's get away from the kids. We'll go talk inside.”

“I will not talk inside. I will not go anywhere until I find my kids.”

She saw Loni running in their direction. If she hadn't been so distraught, Claire would have laughed. Loni and running did not go together. She held her skirt up on both sides. A nineteenth-century shop woman chasing hooligans out of her store.

Claire twisted her body around in anger. “You!” She pointed an accusing finger at her host.
“You
did something to my kids! It was
your
idea for us to come here.”

A panic-stricken look rose on Loni's face. “Will someone please get her inside before the neighbors call the cops? She's becoming hysterical.”

“Call
the cops!” Claire screamed. She felt more hands on her forearms and she shook to get free of them. “I'll tell them you've kidnapped my children!”

All eyes were upon her now. She could feel them. The music had stopped. No one was talking. A few kids, oblivious to the ruckus, were giggling off in the distance, but the ones standing close to Claire were silent and still.

With one strong yank, she pulled herself loose from the people gripping her and ran toward the pool. She felt dizzy and lightheaded and very, very tired. But she needed to find her kids. They'd all go home together and get in her bed and she could finally sleep—when they were safe under her sheets and in her arms.

Reaching the pool, she saw three girls in the deep end. The twins? It was hard to tell.

“Ella! Lily! Is that you?”

It was dark and the pool wasn't well lit. It didn't seem very safe. It was getting too late to be in the pool.

“Girls! Time to get out! It's time to go home.”

The girls continued to swim, diving down to the bottom to collect quarters someone had thrown there. One girl would whack each of the other girls on the head with a pool noodle as they emerged. They giggled uncontrollably.

“Girls!” Claire leaned in closer. “I already gave you five minutes. It's time to go!”

All three girls dove down to the bottom again. She was going to have a word with them when they came up again. It wasn't like her kids to be this disobedient.

“Claire!” She could hear Valerie and Loni and Joe and maybe some of the other parents closing in behind her. She'd had enough. She needed to grab her kids and get out of here—away from these insane people. How had she ever thought they were her
friends?

“Girls!” The girls were up again. “It's time to go!”

She leaned in some more. They were still giggling.

“Girls!” Claire shrieked. And, just as the swoosh of the last syllable left her mouth, Claire lost her balance. Her flip-flop slipped into the pool, her right foot following. She tumbled, headfirst, the cool, dark water enveloping her.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the girls turn her way—their
eyes a mixture of surprise and alarm. Dark brown eyes, all of them. Eyes that didn't belong to her girls.

Claire felt herself falling. Dropping deep and hard and far from the life she always knew.

It was a steep fall. A painful one.

One from which she knew she wouldn't rise anytime soon.

Gia drove her car up the long, winding driveway and pulled over next to the figure huddled on the curb. The woman was covered, from head to toe, with a large, violet, fleece blanket. She was barely recognizable and if Gia hadn't seen that defeated posture a thousand times before, she might not have known it was Claire.

She put the car in park, opened the driver-side door and got out. Valerie, who was seated next to Claire, her arm wrapped around the woman, stood up to greet Gia.

“Hi, Valerie,” Gia said softly, as the woman approached her. She'd met the woman a dozen times at parties Claire and Jack had hosted at their home. “How is she?”

Valerie shrugged. “She's sobering up. We made her down a whole pot of coffee. She didn't need a cold shower. She got that in the deep end of the pool.”

Gia shook her head and ran her hand through her hair.

“Geez.”

Valerie put her hand on Gia's shoulder. “I'm sorry. We didn't know who to call and then someone mentioned you were living with her right after the accident. I found your number in her phone after I convinced her to give me the passcode.”

“You did the right thing. It's just…” Gia exhaled loudly. “Can you help me get her into the car?”

Valerie nodded and the two of them squatted down in front of
Claire. Her head was on her knees. She rocked back and forth, an even rhythm that made Gia dizzy.

“Hey, sweetie. I'm here to get you. Are you ready to go home?”

Gia took Claire's ceased rocking to mean yes.

“Okay, then,” Valerie said. “Why don't we help you up and we'll get you into Gia's car.”