The Portable Roman Reader (Portable Library) (6 page)

ALCMENA (to
herself):
How little pleasure there re
mains in life
When placed beside the sorrows we endure;
Such is the lot of man, the will of gods
That pain should still accompany pleasure here,
And that the more we have of good, the more
Of ill will follow. I find this at home,
And in my own experience, to whom
But little pleasure’s come; a single night
Was all my husband could remain with me.
And suddenly before the dawn he went.
Now I am here alone; and he is gone
Whom most I love; more sorrow do I find
Now he has gone than pleasure when he came.
But this is well that he has won the fight
And comes back full of honour to his home.
‘Tis that consoles me, that with glory won
He now returns; with courage and in faith
I’ll bear his absence to the very end;
If only this reward be given to me
That he is hailed the conqueror in war,
That is enough; it is the best reward;
And valour comes before all other things.
Our liberty, our health, our life and wealth,
Our country and our friends are safe and sound
When there is valour; it possesseth all things.
And he who valour has, has all things else.
AMPHITRYON (to
Sosia):
Yes, I believe my wife is long
ing for
My quick return; she loves me well, I know,
And I love her. And now that all’s gone well
And far beyond our expectation, we
Have routed all our foes; in the first encounter,
Under my leadership, we won the day.
And so I’m sure she will be glad to see me.
SOSIA: And don’t you think my spouse will be as much
so?
ALCMENA
(aside):
It is my husband.
AMPHITRYON: Now keep close to me.
ALCMENA
(aside):
But why does he return who said just
now
He must depart? Was’t but a trial of me?
If that was it, to see if I deplored
His absence, I rejoice at his return.
SOSIA: We’d best return to the ship, Amphitryon.
AMPHITRYON: And why?
SOSIA: Because there’s nothing here to eat.
AMPHITRYON: And how comes that into your mind, I
pray?
SOSIA: Because we come so late.
AMPHITRYON: And how is that?
SOSIA : I see Alcmena has already dined.
AMPHITRYON: She was with child when last I went
away.
SOSIA: Oh! What a nuisance!
AMPHITRYON: What is it to you?
SOSIA: I’ve just come home in time to carry water
For the child’s bath according to your reckoning.
AMPHITRYON: Be of good cheer!
SOSIA: D’ye know how brave I am?
If once I take the bucket, ne‘er believe
Aught that I say in any sacred matter,
If I don’t draw the well to the very bottom.
AMPHITRYON: Now follow me: I’ll find another slave
To do that work. Don’t fear.
ALCMENA (
aside
)
:
I think that I
Will better do my duty if I go
To meet him now.
AMPHITRYON (to
Alcmena):
Amphitryon salutes
His darling wife, the best, her husband says,
That ever was in Thebes, and whom as well
The citizens of Thebes most highly think of.
How are you? Are you glad to see me back?
SOSIA (
aside
): Not much of that, I think; she would
receive
A dog as well.
AMPHITRYON: I’m glad to see you thus
With such a goodly bulk spread out as this.
ALCMENA: I pray you don’t salute and speak me thus,
In way of mockery, as if you had
Not lately seen me; and for the first time
After the war were now returning home,
And talk as if it was a long time past
Since you had seen me.
AMPHITRYON: Till this moment I
Have never seen you anywhere today.
ALCMENA: But why deny it?
AMPHITRYON: ’Tis the truth I say.
I’ve learned to speak the truth.
ALCMENA: He does not well
Who what he’s learned unlearns. D‘ye wish to know
What mind I’m of? But why so soon returned?
Was it some omen that delayed your start,
Or does the weather stay you, and prevent
Your going to the army, as you said
You must just now?
AMPHITRYON : Just now? And how was that?
ALCMENA: Art trying me? Why, just a moment since—
AMPHITRYON: I ask you how it’s possible?
ALCMENA: D’ye think that I
In turn should try to fool you, who declare
That you’ve just come, when you’ve just gone away?
AMPHITRYON: She’s talking nonsense.
SOSIA: Wait a little while,
Until she sleeps her sleep out.
AMPHITRYON: Aye, she dreams,
While waking.
ALCMENA: I am wide awake, and tell
All that has taken place; how long ago
Before the dawn I saw both him and you.
AMPHITRYON: And in what place?
ALCMENA: Of course the house you live in.
AMPHITRYON: Never; it never was.
SOSIA: What if the ship
Brought us to shore asleep?
AMPHITRYON: Do you assist her?
SOSIA: What can one do? For don’t you know that if
You wish to cross a raving maenad you
Will make her worse; and sometimes they will strike;
But if you humour them you will escape
With a single blow.
AMPHITRYON: But I’m determined now
To rate her well, because she did omit
To welcome me again on my return.
SOSIA: You’ll raise a nest of hornets.
AMPHITRYON: Do be quiet!
Alcmena, I would ask one question of you.
ALCMENA: Ask what you will.
AMPHITRYON: Is’t folly or is’t pride
That overmasters you?
ALCMENA: Why ask the question?
AMPHITRYON: Because at coming you were wont to
greet me,
To speak to me as modest wives are wont;
But now I came upon you, nor did find
The usual welcome.
ALCMENA: Yesterday, my lord,
I certainly did greet you when you came,
Inquired most carefully how you had been,
And took you by the hand and gave a kiss.
AMPHITRYON: You greeted me?
ALCMENA: I did, and Sosia too.
SOSIA: Amphitryon, I thought that she would have
A boy; I was mistaken.
AMPHITRYON: What then is’t?
SOSIA: ‘Tis folly she produces.
ALCMENA: I’m quite sane,
And pray the gods that I may have a boy.
But you will have a thrashing if he does
What is his duty; from your prophecy
You’ll get, my prophet, what you well deserve.
SOSIA: A pregnant woman in her day should have
An apple given to gnaw, if she feel sick.
AMPHITRYON: You saw me yesterday?
ALCMENA: I did indeed;
I can repeat it ten times if you like.
AMPHITRYON: Perhaps in dreams?
ALCMENA: No, I was wide awake.
AMPHITRYON: Alas!
SOSIA: Why, what’s the matter?
AMPHITRYON: She is mad.
SOSIA: ’Tis bile she has; naught makes men mad so soon.
AMPHITRYON: When first were you affected by it, wife?
ALCMENA: I am quite well and sound.
AMPHITRYON: Then why d‘ye say
You saw me yesterday, who only came
This night to port; and there I dined and slept
The whole night in the ship, nor ever put
My foot into the house since first I went
Against the Teloboans and subdued them.
ALCMENA: You supped with me, and slept with me as
well.
AMPHITRYON-. How’s that?
ALCMENA: ’Tis true.
AMPHITRYON: Not certainly, in this;
The rest I know not.
ALCMENA: At first blush of dawn
You left me for the army.
AMPHITRYON: How was that?
SOSIA: She says what she remembers; she relates
Her dreams. But surely, ma‘am, when you awaked,
You should have given a salted cake or incense
To Jove, who wards off omens such as these.
ALCMENA: May you be hanged!
SOSIA: ’Tis for your interest
To see it done.
ALCMENA: This man, for the second time,
Is rude, and yet receives no punishment.
AMPHITRYON
(to Sosia):
Be still! (To
Alcmena)
You say
I went from here at dawn?
ALCMENA: Who but yourself has told me that there was
A battle?
AMPHITRYON: You know that?
ALCMENA: And how you’d stormed
A mighty town and slain King Pterela.
AMPHITRYON: I told you this?
ALCMENA: With Sosia standing by.
AMPHITRYON (to
Sosia):
Did you hear this?
SOSIA: Where was I when I heard?
AMPHITRYON: Ask her.
SOSIA: No such event took place when I
Was present.
ALCMENA: ‘Tis a wonder if he does
Not contradict his master.
AMPHITRYON : Sosia,
Look here!
SOSIA: I do.
AMPHITRYON: And please to speak the truth,
Not merely to agree with me; did you
Hear me say these things which she says I did?
SOSIA: And are you mad as well to ask me this?
I who now see her here for the first time.
AMPHITRYON: Now hear him, wife.
ALCMENA: I do, and hear him lie.
AMPHITRYON: You don’t believe your husband, nor yet
him?
ALCMENA: Because I do believe and know these things
Were as I say.
AMPHITRYON: I came here yesterday?
ALCMENA: Do you deny you went from here today?
AMPHITRYON: Most certainly; this is my first visit.
ALCMENA: And will you say you have not given me
A golden cup today, which you declared
Was given you there?
AMPHITRYON: I neither gave’t nor said so;
But still I did intend, and do so still,
To give it you. But who was it who said so?
ALCMENA: ’Twas your own lips, and from your hand I
took it.
AMPHITRYON: Stay, stay, I do beseech you! Yet I won
der,
Sosia, who told her that I had received
The golden cup, unless yourself did so?
SOSIA: I told her not, nor have I seen her save
With you.
AMPHITRYON: What sort of man is this?
ALCMENA: Would you
That I produce the cup?
AMPHITRYON: I wish it so.
ALCMENA: It shall be done.
(Calling
inside) Now, Thes
sala, bring the cup
My husband gave today.
AMPHITRYON: Sosia, come here,
For this will be the strangest thing on earth
If she should have this cup.
SOSIA: Can you believe it?
I have it in this box, sealed with your seal.
AMPHITRYON: And is the seal untouched?
SOSIA: Why, look at it.
AMPHITRYON: ‘Tis right; just as I made the seal myself.
SOSIA: Why not command that she be purified
As being a lunatic?
AMPHITRYON: It must be done.
Her head is full of fancies; she’s bewitched.
(Enter Thessala with cup)
ALCMENA: What need of further words? See, there’s
your cup.
AMPHITRYON: Pray hand it here.
ALCMENA: Yes, look at it, you who
Deny what’s taken place; I will convince
You openly ’tis so. Is that the cup?
AMPHITRYON: What do I see, great Jupiter? It is
The cup. Ah, Sosia, I am quite undone!
SOSIA: Either this woman is the greatest witch
Or else the cup’s in here.
AMPHITRYON: Open the box.
SOSIA: Why open it? The box is firmly sealed
And all is going well. You have brought forth
Amphitryon the second, I in turn
A second Sosia, and if the cup
Has done the like, we all are doubled now.
AMPHITRYON: It must be opened and inspected then.
SOSIA: Look at the seal lest you should blame me after.
AMPHITRYON: Just open it; this woman by her words
Does make one mad.
ALCMENA: Whence comes this cup, I pray.
Unless by you ‘twas given?
AMPHITRYON: I must enquire.
SOSIA: By Jupiter!
AMPHITRYON: What is’t?
SOSIA: There is no cup.
AMPHITRYON: What do I hear?
SOSIA: You hear what’s true enough.
AMPHITRYON: If ’tis not found you will be crucified.
ALCMENA: ‘Tis found and here.
AMPHITRYON: Who gave it to you, then?
ALCMENA: The man who asks.
SOSIA (to
Amphitryon):
You’re trying to catch me;
You ran before me from the ship by stealth
Some other way, you took the cup from hence,
Then gave it to her and replaced the seal.
AMPHITRYON: Alas, her madness you encourage too.
(To
Alcmena)
D’ye say we came here yesterday?
ALCMENA: I do.
And coming you saluted me, I you,
And kissed you.
SOSIA: That kiss does not quite please.
AMPHITRYON: I will pursue my enquiries.
ALCMENA: Then you bathed.
AMPHITRYON: What then?
ALCMENA: You came to supper.
SOSIA: Excellent!
Enquire about that.
AMPHITRYON : Don’t interrupt. (To Alcmena) Go on.
ALCMENA: Dinner was served; we sat together there.
AMPHITRYON : On the same couch?
ALCMENA: The same.
SOSIA: He does not like
The dinner.
AMPHITRYON: Let her state her arguments.
What after we had dined?
ALCMENA: You said that you
Were sleepy; so the table was removed.
We went to bed.
AMPHITRYON: Where did you sleep, I pray?
ALCMENA: In the same bed with you.
AMPHITRYON: 0 God!
SOSIA: How now?
AMPHITRYON: She’s good as killed me.
ALCMENA: Why, what is it, dear?
AMPHITRYON: Don’t speak to me!
SOSIA: What is it?
AMPHITRYON: I’m undone!
To all the troubles of my absence this
Is added that the honour of my wife
Is lost.
ALCMENA: And why, my lord, do I hear you say so?
AMPHITRYON: What! I your lord! Nay, do not use that
name!
SOSIA : The matter is at a deadlock indeed
If she has changed him now from lord to lady.
ALCMENA: What have I done you should address me so?
AMPHITRYON: You tell the tale, yet ask how you have
sinned?
ALCMENA: I was with you I married, where’s the sin?
AMPHITRYON: You were with me? A more audacious lie
Was never told; and even if you have
No modesty, you might assume a little.
ALCMENA: Such conduct as you hint does not become
My race; and if you try to prove a charge
Against me of immodesty you’ll fail.
AMPHITRYON: Now, Sosia, by the gods, at least you
know me!
SOSIA: Why, rather!
AMPHITRYON: Yesterday I dined on board?
SOSIA: We’ve many witnesses to speak to that.
I know not what to say unless there be
Amphitryon the second who looks after
Your business in your absence, and can fill
Your place; to have another Sosia
Was strange; but it was stranger still to find
A new Amphitryon standing in your shoes.
AMPHITRYON: Some witch, I think, this lady does befool.
ALCMENA: By the high heaven, by Juno too, herself,
Whom most of all I reverence and regard,
I swear that no one else has ever come
Near me to wreck my modesty.
AMPHITRYON: I wish
Indeed ‘twere so.
ALCMENA: I speak the truth, but you
Will not believe.
AMPHITRYON: You are a woman still,
And swear audaciously.
ALCMENA: Who has not sinned
Must needs be bold, and speak with confidence,
Aye, ev’n and forwardness, in her defence.
AMPHITRYON: Boldly enough, I grant.
ALCMENA: As one who is
Quite innocent.
AMPHITRYON: Yes, you are so in word.
ALCMENA: A dowry, sir, is not what people deem;
But love and modesty, and all desires
Controlled in fitting bounds, the fear of Heaven,
Respect of parents, good will to my friends,
Conforming in my likings to your own,
Bounteous in kindly service for your good,
These things I had, and these my dowry were.