Read The Portable Veblen Online
Authors: Elizabeth Mckenzie
“That’s next January. Tell me about your work!”
Who had ever asked? The subject of his study was his gold reserve, burdening his heart. “Well, I’m working on traumatic brain injury. I’ve been developing a tool.”
“A tool? Tell me more,” said Cloris, with such prosperous vitality he felt all underfunded and desperate and teenaged again.
“To make it short: I’ve found a way medics on the line can take a proactive role in preventing permanent brain injury.”
“That’s terrific,” said Cloris. “How?”
“Well.” Was he pitching his tool? “You want me to tell you now?”
“Please!”
He nodded, and scalded another quadrant of his taste buds. “Let’s see. Where to start. The body’s response, you know, to just about any stimuli, is swelling—”
“I’ve noticed.”
His nostrils flared. “To injury. Like my burned tongue right now. The body swells.”
“Yes, it does, doesn’t it?”
“The blood rushes, it rushes to the—geez.” He laughed, looking down. “Okay. I have no idea what we’re talking about here.”
“Don’t stop.”
He cleared his throat. “So the brain. If the brain is injured and swells, the skull, I’m sure you know”—he made his hands look like a clamp—“holds it in, and—” His neck felt hot. “There’s pressure, lots of pressure.”
“I understand,” said Cloris.
“The pressure builds—”
“—and builds—”
“—cutting off circulation—”
“Oh, my.”
He bestowed a frank, open gaze upon her, and cleared his throat. “Anyway, the cells stop getting oxygen, which sets off a chain reaction called cell suicide, technically called apoptosis, but if a craniotomy—opening up the skull—can be performed immediately, releasing the pressure, to make room for the swelling”—Paul shifted in his seat—“then no more cell suicide, and under the right circumstances recovery is achievable, up to eighty, ninety percent.”
“So how could this be done?”
“Here’s the problem. Say you’re a medic in combat, and you need to get your injured troops to the closest field hospital, but for a thousand reasons, you can’t do it fast enough. This happens all the time. You’ve made your determination of brain injury—”
“How is that done?”
“Nonreactive pupils. Unconsciousness.”
“Sounds like me every morning.”
“Ah.” Paul felt a luxuriant warmth ripple down his thighs. “The point is, it’s not all that high-tech—craniotomies have been practiced for thousands of years. We see burr holes in the skulls of Egyptians, Sumerians, even the Neanderthals—”
“That was for a snack,” she said.
“The point being that long before there were hospital standards and antiseptics—”
“It could be done.”
“Right! And so in emergency situations, medics—”
“Could do just as good a job as the Neanderthals!”
Paul slapped his palms on the table. “Right. And here’s where my work comes in. I’ve devised an instrument that is safe, effective, essentially automatic, for the line medic to use right on the spot.”
“The Swiss Army knife of brain injury?”
“Yes.”
“Something every medic would carry?” she grasped, eagerly.
“That’s my hope.”
“Simple, easy to use?”
“Very.”
“How big is it?”
Paul held up his hands to indicate a tool of about eight inches.
Cloris raised her eyebrows, then entered text in her phone. “What’s it
like
? Tell me there’s something like it but not as good.”
He knew what she was getting at. The FDA would allow you to bypass a lot of time and red tape using the 510(k) exemption if a device was
like
something else already approved. “Between you
and me, it’s unique. But you could easily say it’s like the Voltar pneumatic hole punch or Abata’s Cranio-locum.”
Her eyes sparkled and he felt wonderful. “Could it save the government money?”
“Oh my god, yes. And obviously, a lot of people’s lives would be much better.”
She leaned forward, to whisper. “What’s your contract situation?”
“I’m up for renewal at the end of the year,” whispered Paul, nervously rocking back in his chair.
“Has the Technology Transfer Office seen this yet?” she asked huskily.
“Funny you ask. I’m just finishing my report for them right now.”
“I see. Can I ask you something?”
“Ask away.”
“If I get back to you in a couple of days, will you let me take the first look?”
“Sure, but—”
“I think it’s a no-brainer.”
“Ouch.”
“What?”
“You said it’s a
no-brainer
.”
“I practiced that.”
They walked to the hospital lobby together, Paul carrying her tote bag to the door. She gave him a European-style kiss on his left cheek, and his catecholamines soared.
She called in two days, to inform him that Development at Hutmacher was very interested in his device. It seemed that Cloris Hutmacher was a scout for her family’s company, prowling med schools and biotech companies for the latest discoveries that
exceeded her company’s resources to discover in their own labs. She could boast of finding a new drug for arthritis at UCLA, and another that blocked harmful proteins within cell walls at UC Santa Barbara, all on her own initiative. Of course, Paul’s device was a high risk Class III and would need to be tested in a clinical trial, but that was no obstacle at all. The VA center in Menlo Park was available as a testing site, and it was possible, in fact probable, that Paul could be the primary investigator in a trial there, making a niche for himself testing other patents relevant to the Department of Defense that were being licensed by Hutmacher. Hutmacher had numerous DOD contracts, she told him, and was dedicated to the men and women of the armed forces. He would be ideal.
Paul thought he would be too, but when he brought it up with his mentor, Lewis Chaudhry, Chaudhry was flatly lacking in enthusiasm.
“This project is nowhere near ready for that, Paul. You have yet to do your randomized study, you’ve had no peer reviews, nothing! Are they planning to piggyback it on a 510(k)?”
GIFT BASKET
Paul admitted they were. “You know what an uphill battle it is to market anything. They’re saying it’s a major breakthrough and they can move it into practical application really fast. Isn’t that worth doing?”
Chaudhry stepped back with thinly disguised contempt. “So, Paul, how big was the gift basket?”
And Paul felt sorry for the stodgy old termagant and went directly to the Technology Transfer Office to work out the details. And when he met Cloris later that week, at the office of Hutmacher’s attorneys, Shrapnal and Boone, in Burlingame, and he was presented with a signing bonus in cash and stock options as well as a huge gift basket filled with bottles of champagne, fancy chocolates, aged wheels of French cheese, and even a sterling silver knife in a blue box from Tiffany & Co., Paul could see no reason not to own the moment.
Then, when Cloris invited him up to her place in Atherton, he wasn’t exactly surprised. He was easing into his new incarnation pretty suavely, he thought. As he followed her white Tesla Roadster up the hill, through the gate, to the house that had been built in the manner of a French château, sandstone covered with ivy, a front door thick and iron strapped, opening like a castle, he felt overwhelmed with fate and consequence. What if she fell in love with him? What if they married? What if the elder Hutmacher took him under his wing and told the world he was a visionary? What if he became president of the company after the old man was gone, and had a private jet? What if he and Cloris became goodwill ambassadors for UNICEF, distributing medical supplies throughout Africa, stopping in dusty towns to confer with Bono and Angelina Jolie? What if everyone from his hometown, Garberville, found out? What if the psycho-bitch mother of his high school girlfriend, Millie Cuthbertson, committed hara-kiri on a bamboo mat, and coyotes paraded her entrails down every street in town?
Cloris showed off her office with its high view of the peninsula, and he lingered to admire a wall of tightly framed photo ops,
including, but not limited to Cloris and her father, Boris Hutmacher, with George H. W. Bush, Cloris and her father with Bill and Hillary, Cloris with George W. Bush, Cloris and her father with President Obama, Cloris with Mick Jagger, Cloris with the Dalai Lama, Cloris with the Pope, and . . .
“Where’s Cloris with god?”
She squeezed his arm.
Certificates of appreciation studded the walls, from charities and boards, medical, environmental, inner city, whippet societies. It seemed there wasn’t anyone Cloris couldn’t be appreciated by.
Just then, the monitor on the desk began to ring like a phone, and Cloris said, “It’s Morris calling. Our weekly Skype. Do you mind?”
“Who’s Morris?”
“My son.”
“I didn’t know you had a son.”
“Yes. Divorced three years ago. He’s eight.”
“Oh.”
“Don’t worry, this will only take a minute,” she said.
“Please, take as long as you want,” Paul said, and he went away to wait.
He let himself out the French doors onto a sweeping sandstone piazza, appointed with various clusters of wrought iron chairs, ceramic pots embossed with fleur-de-lis, and an inverted copper fountain that funneled into the earth. Across the lawn stood a rose arbor, its few leaves yellowed and spotted with black. From there, one could see up the coastal ranges north and south, the Dumbarton Bridge crossing the bay to Fremont, and the San Mateo Bridge beyond. For some reason, all he could think about at that moment
was how he was going to tell his status-conscious friend Hans Borg about this. Maybe he’d be in a position to finagle some contracts for Hans, of course he would! He’d send his parents on the big trip they’d always wanted to take, and he’d hire a full-time caretaker to manage his brother, Justin, with an iron fist.
But they would never allow that. Deflated by the inescapable specter of his disabled brother, Paul wandered past the pool and pool house, admiring the château from every angle, until he found himself before a marble goddess skirted by camellia and heard Cloris’s voice through the windows. He could see her fine head before the large monitor in conversation with her son, who appeared to be slightly rotund, wearing a horizontally striped sweater that emphasized his girth. He had reddish hair and a galaxy of freckles, and his sniffles were amplified with sorrowful fidelity.
“I told you I don’t have time for this,” Cloris said.
The boy sobbed.
“Stop it,” Cloris hissed. “Are you trying to punish me? Because I don’t deserve it! I’m onto you and I won’t stand for it!”
Morris cried louder, and Paul stepped back, not wanting to believe his patroness was brutalizing her child. (Maybe the kid was a horrible brat and deserved it? Maybe Cloris, unlike his parents, knew how to exert some discipline?)
“Get me your father. Now!”
The boy disappeared from the screen and Paul leaned forward again, despite himself. A hard-jawed man in a black polo shirt with a sharp cleft between his eyes took the boy’s place.
“Cloris, what are you doing? He’s hurt!”
“Don’t expect me to fix it all from here. He wants to live with you, then be his father!”
“Cloris. Calm down. Morris, go upstairs while I talk to your mother.”
“Don’t let him leave. I don’t want to prolong this. Sit down, both of you!”
Cloris strained toward the screen, so that her nose might have sparked with static. “I want to tell you something, Morris. When my father asks me about his grandson, what am I supposed to say? Well, you know what, I say
nothing
! I change the subject! That’s because you let me down constantly. I would never tell him the things going on!”
“I didn’t mean to,” cried Morris.
“Stop it. Pull yourself together right now. You’re such a baby. You’ll have to earn my trust in the future, and it won’t be nice and easy, the way everything else comes for you.”
“What can I do?” sobbed the boy, whose cheeks glistened with tears.
Cloris bent, arms crossed over her chest, shouting at the screen. “Do you understand why you are in that school? You are in that school because my father went to that school and because he is on the board of directors of that school and you have every advantage in the world in that school! Do you know how bad it has to be for me to get a call from one of your teachers? You represent this family to the children of everyone who matters in Washington. And this is what happens?”
“Cloris, he’s in second grade.”
“And look at him. He’s at least ten pounds overweight. Morris,
are you listening? You are fat. And do you know what that means?
Nobody
likes little fat boys. Morris? Stop eating junk food!”
“That’s more than enough,” said the boy’s father, and fearing that the conversation was coming to an end, Paul withdrew, in order to rush around the building to the expanse of sandstone, where he affected a casual stance until Cloris joined him again.
“There you are!”
“Nice view.”
“Now, where were we?”
“Everything okay with your son?” Paul asked, innocently.