Authors: Carl Weber
The sun hadn’t come up yet when I opened my eyes, and the only thing illuminating the room was the bathroom light that crept under the door. Like the night before, I hadn’t been able to sleep more than an hour or two. I tried to move, but his arm was laid across my side, his hand resting on my belly. I didn’t know if he was trying to be cute or not, but I immediately removed it. The last thing I wanted him to do was to touch my belly and remind me that I was pregnant.
We’d been lying on his bed since sometime late the night before, and I’d fallen asleep with all my clothes on, my back to his front. Spoon position, I think they call it. It was nice, maybe even comforting, but it wasn’t what I wanted. What I wanted was to be in my house, in my bed, without the burden of this pregnancy.
I still couldn’t believe I was carrying a child, and even worse that my mother had kicked me out the house and told me not to return until I had an abortion. If I knew her, she was probably praying she’d never see me again. I was sure, though, that Dante and my father were worried sick. I just hoped they didn’t go to the police and file a missing person’s report. Maybe after I got up and went to the bathroom, I’d turn my cell phone back on and give Dante a call. I’d turned it off when I left the house two days ago and hadn’t even touched it to check my messages since, so I was sure by now my voice mailbox was full.
“Donna?” he whispered, breaking my thoughts.
I turned over and looked at him. His face was full of concern. I’m sure he’d had less sleep than I had, considering every time I opened my eyes throughout the night, he was staring at me. He must have really hated me for being pregnant.
“Yeah,” I replied.
“Donna…Donna, will you marry me?”
I sat up straight as a board then bit my lip to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. The sharp pain I felt told me it wasn’t a dream but possibly his way of making a cruel joke.
“What did you say?” I leaned toward him.
He grasped my hand as he cleared his throat and looked deeply into my eyes. Goose bumps began to crawl up and down my arm and I felt short of breath.
“I asked you to marry me.”
“Are you serious?” I still couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“Yeah, of course I’m serious. I love you, Donna, and I want you to be my wife.” He gave me a tentative smile. Obviously he wasn’t confident about what my answer would be. If I didn’t know it before, I knew now; he really was in love with me and I was starting to think he was actually happy about me being pregnant. “I want you to marry me, Donna, so I can take care of you and the baby.”
Marry me
. I never dreamed I’d hear those words come out of his mouth. I must admit, though, they were the most touching words that anyone had ever said to me. It was too bad I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted. It was too bad he wasn’t the man I wanted to hear those words from. I pulled my hand free from his.
“I’m sorry, Shorty, but I can’t marry you.”
His tentative smile became a disappointed frown, and his voice was sad enough to make you wanna cry. “Why not?”
“Because I’m not in love with you, Shorty. I’m in love with someone else. I thought I explained that to you last night.”
I swung my feet off the bed, took my cell off the night table, and turned it on as I walked toward the bathroom. I knew I was being harsh on Shorty, especially after how kind he’d been to let me stay at his apartment the past few nights, but I was under so much pressure. The last thing I needed was for him to complicate things by offering to marry me.
I’d come to Shorty’s house the night my mother kicked me out. I had no intention of even stopping by his place that night, and I definitely didn’t have any intention of spending the next few nights with him. I was actually headed to the church parsonage, where Terrance stayed. I knew where he kept his spare key and was planning on waiting there for him until he returned home Monday morning. However, my plans were changed when I had an accident with my car. I was so emotional about being pregnant and having my mother kicking me out that I got distracted and hit a pole.
Thank God for airbags, because although I was shaken up, I didn’t have a scratch on me. Not that it mattered to the paramedics, though. Once I told them I was pregnant, they insisted that I go to the emergency room to get checked out, then the hospital wouldn’t discharge me unless someone was there to pick me up. There was no way I was calling my parents or even Dante, and since Shorty’s apartment was only two blocks away, I had the nurse call him. He was there within five minutes and insisted on taking me to his place when I refused to go home.
Shorty was following behind me toward the bathroom. “You did explain, but—”
I stopped in my tracks and turned to him. “There are no buts, Shorty,” I said sternly. “Now, I appreciate you coming to get me from the hospital and letting me stay here the last few nights, but don’t get it twisted. We are just friends.”
“Yo, that can change. And you can learn to love me, Donna. The baby’s gonna need a daddy.” I stepped into the bathroom and turned to him before I closed the door.
“Let’s get something straight, Shorty. My baby already has a daddy.”
“Oh yeah? Well, where is he, then? Why’d you call me and not him? Your baby ain’t got a daddy, Donna. He’s a sperm donor. Can’t you see that? The baby’s father is using you.” Shorty’s face was serious and he spoke as if he was preaching the Gospel.
“He’s not fuckin’ using me, Shorty!” I cursed angrily. “He loves me. And get your facts straight; the reason I called you instead of him was because he was out of town. Now I suggest you keep your jealous comments to yourself, ’cause you don’t know nothin’ about him.”
I slammed the bathroom door in his face and he had the audacity to knock on the door and shout, “Oh, I know a thing or two about him, Donna! That’s why I know he’s not gonna want this baby and you gonna have to raise it on your own.”
I swung the door open. It was time for me to leave. Coming to Shorty’s house had been a mistake. A big mistake. Thank God Terrance was coming home later that morning. “Shut up, Shorty! I’m sick of your jealous shit. You don’t even know him.”
“Yeah, I do,” he said with sadness in his voice. I couldn’t believe he thought he should feel sorry for me. But that wasn’t anywhere near as shocking as when he said, “Donna, I know Reverend Reynolds very well, and he’s not gonna marry you. Trust me on that.”
I held my breath for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn’t believe it. How the hell did he know about Terrance and me? We’d been so careful except for that day in his office last week when my father almost busted us. Dear God, if Shorty knew, did that mean Dante knew also? And if he did, had he told my parents?
“How…how did you know?”
“That day at the Soul Café. I saw Reverend Reynolds walk in when I was walking out. After that it wasn’t hard to put things together. Especially after you just said your baby’s father was out of town. Everyone knows Reverend Reynolds is out of town.”
“Does Dante know about Terrance and me?”
He shook his head and I let out a sigh of relief. “Nah, he don’t know. And it’s a good thing too, ’cause he’d probably kill that bastard.”
“No, he wouldn’t. Dante likes Terrance, and the bishop does too.” I smiled confidently.
“Let’s see how much they like him when they find out his ass got you pregnant,” Shorty said in his most condescending voice yet.
“They’ll get over it.”
“Maybe, but I doubt it. Reverend Reynolds is not what he appears to be.”
He was starting to get on my last nerve with this shit. “Then what is he, Shorty?”
Shorty looked like he wanted to cradle me in his arms. I didn’t want his pity at this point. “Donna, he’s a player. A straight womanizer. That man—”
I let out a laugh. “You know what, Shorty? You need help. Are you that obsessed with me that you would lie on a man of God?”
“What you call obsession I call love, Donna. And I’m not lying.”
“Uh-huh. Sure you’re not.” I cut my eyes at him.
“Puh-lease, Donna. That man’s screwed half the congregation. You were just the last one left. If you don’t believe me, ask Dante.”
“I’m not going to ask Dante anything, Shorty, ’cause I know it’s not true.” I couldn’t take it anymore. I was about to slam that bathroom door in his face again, but just then my phone rang and we both fell silent, staring at it. I checked the caller ID and the number came up unknown. Fed up with the conversation I was having with Shorty, I flipped the phone open and pushed the talk button.
“Hello.”
“Donna?”
A huge grin came to my face. It was Terrance.
“Yes, baby. It’s me. Where are you?” I glanced over at Shorty and smirked.
“I’m in Charlotte at the airport.”
“At the airport!” My grin was even wider. “Are you coming home, baby?” I asked with excitement. “Please tell me you’re coming home. I miss you and I really need to talk to you.”
“I really need to talk to you, too. Have you spoken to your father this morning?”
“No. That’s part of what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Look, Donna, I think you need to avoid your mother and father till we get a chance to speak, all right? There’s something I need to tell you but I don’t wanna do it by phone.”
“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ve been staying with a friend the last few nights,” I replied. “So are you coming home, Terrance?”
“Yeah. I’m waiting for the plane to load now.”
“Good!” I felt like I was going to burst. “What time does your flight get in? I’ll pick you up.”
There was hesitation on the line then he said, “Don’t worry about that. I’ve already made other arrangements.”
“You’ve already made arrangements?”
“Yeah. I tried to get ahold of you last night but your phone went straight to voice mail and your box was full.”
I let out a frustrated breath. “I’m sorry. I forgot I turned off my phone.”
“Listen, why don’t we meet at Bronx BBQ over by Green Acres Mall around noon? We have a lot to talk about.”
“All right. I’ll see you there. I love you, Terrance.”
“Yeah, me too,” he said as we both hung up.
“Why didn’t you tell him about the baby?” Shorty demanded as soon as I closed the phone.
“I want to tell him to his face.”
“Don’t expect him to be jumpin’ up and down about the news, Donna.”
“I know he’s going to be a little surprised, but when he thinks about it, he’ll be happy.” I was nervous about telling Terrance, but I was confident he’d be there for me.
“Aw’ight, Donna. If that’s what you wanna do, then go ahead. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Shorty turned around and walked toward the bed. I knew he was upset, but like my brother and father, he’d get over it. If he didn’t, that was his problem, because by that night I was planning to be staring my mother in the face with my baby’s daddy on my arm.
I was one pissed-off sistah when I stepped out into the sunlight to search for Shorty’s car. I was actually surprised and relieved to find that he was still there. I’d been sitting at the bar inside the Bronx BBQ restaurant waiting for Terrance for almost an hour, and he never showed up or even called. Thank God Shorty had insisted on sticking around after he dropped me off. I told him that I was going to be leaving with Terrance but he insisted on waiting just in case I was stood up. My God, it was like he was psychic or something.
“Well? What happened? Was he there?” Shorty asked. He actually looked a little surprised to see me when I got into his car. “I didn’t see him go in. Was he already in there or did he stand you up?”
I was too embarrassed to even look at him. I just lifted my left hand like I was trying to stop traffic. “Don’t. Okay, Shorty? Just don’t. I’m really not in the mood right now.”
This wasn’t like Terrance at all, and at first I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his plane was canceled or delayed. But when I called the airports, they said all flights coming from down South were on time. I started to get upset. It wasn’t like he didn’t have my cell phone number. Besides he always called when he was going to be late.
I took out my cell and started to dial a number, but I was so upset it took three times to get the number straight.
“First Jamaica Ministries,” the secretary answered.
“Anita, this is Donna. Have you seen Terran—Reverend Reynolds?”
“Yes, he’s downstairs with—”
I didn’t even give her a chance to finish before I hung up. I had no idea why Terrance was still at the church, but I was about to find out.
“Shorty, take me to the church.”
When the car didn’t move, I turned my head toward him. He was staring at me tight-lipped, his eyes full of concern. “Donna, what’s going on?”
I tried to hold back tears. “I’m not really sure yet, Shorty. That’s why I need to go to the church.”
He nodded his head as he put his foot on the gas.
I needed to have my head examined. When Donna and I rolled into the reserved parking lot of the church, it looked more like a Sunday morning than a Monday afternoon. The lot was packed, and with all the luxury vehicles parked in the spaces, it looked like everyone who was someone was inside the church. That included Donna’s mother and father, my boy Dante, and that snake in the grass Reverend Reynolds. Whatever was going on must have been pretty damn important to bring this many big shots to the church on an early Monday afternoon. I didn’t mention it to Donna, but there was no doubt in my mind that this was the reason why Reverend Reynolds had stood her up. I just wondered what the hell was going on. Was it possible they were kicking the bishop out because of Donna’s pregnancy? If so, how the hell did they find out?
“Pull into that handicapped space right in front of the church,” Donna ordered, pointing at the parking space as if I was blind. I did as I was told, but I hadn’t even placed the car in park before she jumped out and headed down the stairs to the church basement.
“Donna, wait!”
I wanted to tell her to be careful, and that I didn’t have a good feeling about this, but she kept going, paying me no mind. I loved Donna, there was no question about that. And despite what she might or might not have believed, deep down I wanted her to be happy, even if it was with Reverend Reynolds. Still, my street intuition told me this was not a good time to be rolling into the church to confront him about his illegitimate child. I was tempted to sit this one out and stay in the car like I did at the restaurant. Reverend Reynolds was one thing but Bishop Wilson, First Lady Wilson, and Dante were another, and when it came to the Wilson clan, whenever the shit hit the fan, I was usually the one it blew back on. However, I was curious and perhaps even hopeful that once Reverend Reynolds found out he was going to be a dad, he’d start denying shit and push Donna right into my arms. Against my better judgment, I let my heart be my guide and got out of the car, following Donna into the church.
When I walked into the building, Donna was standing at the bottom of the stairs in the small corridor outside the Bingo hall/recreation room. The door was closed, but even from where I was standing, I could hear the people inside. Donna no longer had that determined look she had when she jumped out of my car. She was staring at the door looking tentative, perhaps even scared, and I couldn’t blame her one bit. Once she walked through that door, the moment of truth was at hand. Not only was Reverend Reynolds in there, but so were her parents and brother, who were probably going to be pretty upset since they hadn’t seen or heard from her in days. I walked up behind her and placed my hand on her shoulder. She turned around and lowered her head onto my shoulder. My selfishness disappeared, and the only thing I could think of was protecting her.
“You sure you wanna do this now?” I asked. “Your parents are probably in there, and this could get ugly.”
“I know. That’s why I haven’t gone in yet, Shorty. I’m not sure about anything anymore.” It was a little awkward because she was taller than me, but I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in as close as I could.
“Look, maybe we should get out of here before anyone sees us. You can always talk to him later, in private.”
She looked at me and nodded, but before we could head toward the exit, the door opened and Dante walked out.
“Donna, Shorty!” he greeted us as he stepped into the hallway.
“Dante,” Donna and I replied in unison. Our hands immediately dropped to our sides but there was no doubt that he thought something was up. A question flickered in his eyes as he grabbed his sister and wrapped his arms around her in a tight, brotherly bear hug. There had always been a very special bond between Dante and Donna and it was never more evident than now as I watched him embrace her like they’d been separated for years.
“Girl, where have you been? I was worried sick about you,” Dante scolded. “I’ve been looking all over for you. Why didn’t you answer my calls?”
“I’m sorry, Dante. I just needed some time to myself.”
“I hear you,” he said in a low, sympathetic voice. He looked around to see if we were the only ones in the corridor then continued. “Mom and the bishop told me you were pregnant.” He was talking to his sister but his eyes were on me.
“Dear ol’ Mom,” Donna repeated, rolling her eyes. “Did Mommy tell you she kicked me out and told me not to come back until I had an abortion?”
Dante looked dumbfounded. “Nah, she left that out.”
“Where was I gonna go?” I could hear the hurt in Donna’s voice as Dante’s eyes traveled to me.
“If she said that, Donna, she was probably just upset. She didn’t mean it. The next day she probably expected you to come home.”
Donna looked at her brother and shook her head. I think she was about to get him straight but she stayed silent when the door opened again and a couple walked out and headed for the exit.
“Look, Dante, it’s a long story, and this is neither the time nor the place.”
“Aw’ight. We’ll talk about it later,” Dante said reluctantly. “But we are gonna talk.” He released her then gave me a glance.
“What’s up, Shorty?” he asked, sounding far from sincere as he offered me his hand. I took it, letting him pull me in close. “I guess you don’t know how to call a brother back either, huh? I been trying to get in touch with you ever since Donna turned up missing. Figured you might wanna help me find her.”
“Sorry ’bout that, D. I got a little caught up in something.”
“I bet you did,
friend,
” he whispered coldly, patting me on the back. We both slowly backed away, and when our eyes met, he said, “For your sake, you better not be too caught up in it. You know what I mean?”
There was no need for anything else to be said. We both knew what he was talking about. He turned his attention back to his sister.
“So, you’re coming home tonight, right? I don’t care what Mom said, Donna, I want you home and so does the bishop.”
Donna smiled a real smile for the first time since I’d picked her up two nights before.
“I know, and I want to come home, but it all depends. I have a few things I have to deal with before I can face the bishop again.”
She glanced toward the recreation room and asked, “What’s going on in there?”
Dante let out a laugh. “Oh, that’s right. You don’t know. Reverend Reynolds messed around and got married last weekend.”
“Married!” Donna and I shouted in unison, although my shout was more out of glee than hers.
“Yeah, that son of a gun had a fiancée. They been engaged for the past two and a half years. Can you believe he managed to keep that a secret?” Dante continued to laugh, but I was concerned about Donna, whose olive complexion seemed to be getting paler by the second. She was also starting to sway and I was afraid she was gonna pass out.