The Pregnancy Plan (10 page)

She wanted to pretend that last night had never happened,
but the heat in his eyes as they slowly skimmed over every inch of her body made that impossible.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“I need access to your electrical panel.”

She lifted a brow. “That’s one I haven’t heard before.”

He grinned. “It’s not a secret male code, just a precaution to ensure that I don’t get electrocuted while installing your new lights.”

“I don’t need new lights. And I thought you were a doctor, not a handyman.”

“Actually, I’m a doctor who happens to be very handy,” he told her. “And I picked up some motion sensor lights for you at the hardware store this morning.”

“I don’t mean to sound ungrateful,” she said, all too aware that was precisely how she sounded, “but I didn’t ask you to pick up any lights for me.”

“I didn’t do it for you, I did it for me.”

She folded her arms across her chest. “How does putting up new lights for me benefit you?”

“It will ensure I worry less about you coming home after dark.”

“There’s no reason for you to worry,” she insisted.

“I’m sure that’s true, but I’ll worry, anyway. So letting me put up these lights would be doing me a big favor.”

“That is the most ridiculous argument I’ve ever heard.”

“But creative.”

Her lips curved. “I’ll give you that.”

“So—” he prompted. “Your electrical panel?”

“It’s in the basement.” She stepped away from the door so that he could enter.

“Was I interrupting something?” he asked, gesturing to the computer desk and the pile of notes she’d printed.

“Just lesson planning. We’re studying the growth cycle of
the pumpkin this week in preparation for Halloween at the end of the month, and I was hoping to find some kind of art project that would reinforce the lesson for the kids.”

“Don’t you just teach the same stuff year after year?”

“I have to cover the same basic curriculum,” she admitted, leading him down into the basement. “But I like to implement some new projects or approach the topics from different angles to keep the subjects fresh and interesting.”

“I assume that’s fresh and interesting for you, since you don’t have the same group of kids for more than one year.”

She smiled. “Yes, it’s for me. I don’t ever want to become one of those teachers who bores her students.”

“I don’t think there’s any danger of that,” Cam told her. “Maddie is always talking about school and she’s always enthusiastic.”

“Where is Maddie today?” she asked.

“She went back to my mom’s after her ballet class. Whenever it comes to a choice between the hardware store with Daddy or the toy store with Grandma, she abandons me without a backward glance.”

Ashley smiled as she gestured to the electrical panel. “Everything’s labeled, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to find the breakers you need to shut off.”

He opened the panel, scanned the tags, flipped some switches.

“That’s it?”

“For now,” he said, closing the panel door. “They’ll need to be turned back on again when I’m done.”

She nodded and followed him back up the stairs.

It didn’t take long for Cam to install the lights. At least, it seemed to Ashley that not very much time had passed before he was back at the door to turn the breaker on again. She was making herself a sandwich and though she still thought it was smart to keep her distance from Cam, it
seemed impolite not to offer him some lunch in exchange for the lights.

But if she felt awkward inviting him to stay for a sandwich, it was nothing compared to the discomfort she felt when he picked up the clinic brochure she’d inadvertently left on the counter.

She was dishing up potato salad alongside the sandwiches when she saw him reach for the pamphlet, the bold letters practically jumping off of the front:
PINEHURST ASSISTED REPRODUCTION CLINIC

Cam looked at the cover, where the date and time of an appointment were noted, then at Ashley. She’d told him about the endometriosis and her participation in the clinical trial, so he didn’t understand why she would have an appointment at PARC. Unless—

“Are you pregnant?” he asked her.

Her cheeks flushed and she snatched the pamphlet from his hand. “No.”

He hadn’t realized he was holding his breath in anticipation of her response until the air whooshed out of his lungs again.

Not pregnant.

That was good, because pregnant was definitely more of a complication than he was ready to handle at the beginning of a relationship—assuming that he and Ashley were at the beginning stages of a relationship. But if she wasn’t pregnant—

“Then why do you have an appointment at PARC?”

“I’m keeping my options open.”

“Options,” he echoed, still uncomprehending.

“I want to have a baby, a family,” she said, as if that should have been obvious. “I thought I was on track with Trevor, but obviously that train got derailed. Now I’m looking at some alternatives.”

“Don’t you think this…alternative…is a little extreme? You’re only twenty-nine—”

“And I have endometriosis,” she reminded him. “Before I started the drug trial, my specialist recommended radical surgery.”

“A complete hysterectomy,” he guessed.

She nodded, tears filling her eyes. For a woman who loved children as much as Ashley, that course of action would be devastating.

“Is the Fedentropin helping?” he asked her.

“It’s bought me time, but it’s not a cure.”

Which he knew, of course. After she’d first mentioned the drug to him, he’d done some research. Because the drug was still in the trial phase, a lot of information was restricted, but he had learned that the medication was targeted specifically at women for whom more traditional treatments—usually birth control pills—were unsuccessful.

“But having a baby without a father—”

“Don’t lecture me on the difficulties of being a single parent,” she warned him.

“I wasn’t going to lecture,” he denied. “I was just going to suggest that you reconsider all of your options before you pursue artificial methods of conception.”

“I have considered all of my options and I’m not rushing into anything. I’m only going to the clinic to get the information I need before making any final decision.” She nudged his plate closer. “Now eat.”

“You’re always so gracious when we sit down at a table together.”

“Must be your innate charm that brings out the best in me.”

He picked up his fork and speared a chunk of potato. Ashley took a bite of her sandwich, clearly signaling that the conversation was at an end.

But Cam couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d revealed. He wasn’t surprised that she wanted a child, but he did wonder how far she was willing to go to get what she wanted—and if she was considering that another one of her options might be to find a ready-made family in need of a mother.

He munched on his sandwich and wondered if he’d completely misread the situation with her. Had he made a mistake in believing that he and Ashley were rekindling their romance? Was it possible that she didn’t have any interest in a relationship with him and only wanted to be a mother to a little girl who desperately needed one?

It would be the irony of all ironies. The woman he’d married didn’t want to have anything to do with her child, and now he was halfway in love with a woman who might only want to be with him because of his daughter.

A
shley always looked forward to Sunday brunch with her sister and her cousin. For the past several years, they’d met once a month at Michelynne’s Café in the village to eat and chat and have what they fondly referred to as their girl time. Ashley had worried, after Megan and Gage got married, that her sister might start to skip out on their ritual gathering, but she was pleased that the tradition continued to endure.

Sometimes they celebrated, sometimes they commiserated, but always they supported one another unconditionally. So when Ashley announced that her appointment at the clinic hadn’t gone quite as she’d hoped, that the doctor she’d met with had insisted she wait six months before pursuing intrauterine insemination, she was surprised by their responses.

“Six months doesn’t seem unreasonable,” Paige said.

“Six months is half a year—and two-thirds the term of a normal pregnancy,” Ashley felt compelled to point out.

“But you’re young,” Megan said.

“I’m almost thirty,” she said, and the knowledge of that birthday on the horizon taunted her. She’d had a plan for her life, and she’d expected to be a wife and a mother long before now.

“You just turned twenty-nine,” her sister reminded her.

“And a lot of women today don’t even think about having babies until they’re in their forties,” Paige added.

Ashley shook her head. “I don’t believe this. I thought you would be on my side.”

“We are on your side,” her recently impregnated sister insisted.

“We just think you should take some time to be sure that this is what you want, that this isn’t an impulse,” her cousin added.

“When have I ever done anything impulsive?”

“Letting CBB put a ring on your finger after you’d been dating only a few months was pretty impulsive.”

“Okay—so I made one mistake.”

“The mistake wasn’t yours, it was his,” Paige said loyally. “But I still think, if you really want to have a baby, it should be with someone you care about—not a number and a description in a catalog.”

“Since there’s no one in my life who fits that criteria, I’ll go with the catalog.”

Megan speared a slice of peach with her fork. “What about Cam?”

“What about Cam?” Paige echoed, obviously intrigued by the possibility.

“I had a doctor’s appointment last week,” Megan said, “and ran into Cam at the office, and we chatted for a few minutes.”

“And?” Paige prompted.

“And I got to thinking that there were still sparks between Cam and Ashley at the reunion, and that it might not take much to fan those sparks into flame.”

“I didn’t see them at the reunion,” Paige admitted. “But I saw the way he was looking at her at the fair. He was making cow eyes at her over the cows.”

Megan snickered.

“Yeah,” Ashley said. “His feelings were so deep, he fell in love with someone else as soon as he left Pinehurst.”

“I don’t think that’s quite how it happened,” Megan chided gently.

Ashley shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Cam and I were over a long time ago.”

“If that was true, you wouldn’t be so determined to avoid the man who could give you everything you want.”

“I don’t want anything from Cam Turcotte.”

“Then someone should call a doctor, because you obviously no longer have a pulse,” Paige said. “And hey—Cam is a doctor, so maybe he can jump-start your heart.”

“I’m glad you both find this situation so amusing,” Ashley said.

“Only because you’re so obviously in denial about your feelings for the man,” her sister said.

Ashley picked up her cup and sipped her cappuccino. She’d already said more than she’d ever intended to say on the subject of Cam Turcotte.

“Think about it,” Paige urged. “If you let Cam knock you up, at least then you’d know something about the father of your baby.”

“Aside from a basic physical description and necessary medical information, I don’t want to know anything about the father of my baby. That’s why I decided to go through the clinic.”

“Except that now you have to wait six months.”

Six months seemed like an eternity when she’d wanted a baby for so long already, but she really didn’t see that she had any other option.

“I’ll bet you could have Cam in your bed in six weeks,” Megan said.

“Six days,” Paige interjected.

“Except that I don’t want Cam in my bed.”

“I’m starting to seriously wonder about your pulse,” her cousin muttered.

“Because you’re not attracted to him anymore?” Megan asked, ignoring Paige’s comment. “Or because you
are?
”

Ashley frowned. “That’s an odd question.”

“Maybe, but I know how your mind works, and I know that, emotionally, you’re still reeling from Trevor’s betrayal, so the last thing you want is to stir up feelings for someone else.”

Apparently Megan did know how Ashley’s mind worked, and her sister’s insight was more than a little unnerving. “Since when did you become such an expert on the human heart?” she grumbled.

“Since I was lucky enough to fall in love. I never imagined I could feel anything like what I feel for Gage, and I only want the same thing for you.”

“I appreciate your concern,” Ashley said. “And while there was a time when I wanted exactly what you have with Gage—and when I was engaged to Trevor, I thought I’d found it—I’ve since realized that not everyone finds his or her soul mate.”

“You’re certainly not going to find him if you keep closing the doors that are opened to you.”

“Even if I was still attracted to Cam—and okay, I do have a pulse—I’m not foolish enough to get involved with a man who’s already broken my heart. Besides, he has an ex-wife and a child, and that’s more baggage than I’m willing to carry.”

“An ex-wife who lives in another country and an absolutely adorable little girl,” Megan clarified.

“Exactly how long were you chatting with him?”

Megan looked her in the eyes. “Long enough to figure out that the man still has a thing for my big sister.”

Ashley was less concerned about Cam’s feelings than her own, and she looked away before Megan could guess that her big sister still had a thing for the sexy doctor, too.

Nearly a week after he’d found out about Ashley’s appointment at PARC, Cameron couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation. He knew she would be a wonderful mother, so it wasn’t her desire to have a child that unnerved him but her willingness to be injected by some anonymous donor in order to make it happen.

As a doctor, he had counseled patients with respect to all kinds of reproductive options. He had never recommended artificial insemination to a single woman under the age of thirty and he didn’t understand why Ashley would choose that course.

But the more he thought about it, the more he thought that they each might be able to get what they wanted from the other. Of course, he first had to find a way to convince Ashley of that.

When he went to pick Maddie up from school the following Wednesday, he decided to put his plan into action. Leaving his daughter playing hopscotch with her friends, he dropped in to Ashley’s classroom.

“How do you feel about dinner Saturday night?” he asked her.

“Actually, I’m in favor of dinner every night,” she said.

“I meant dinner with me,” he clarified.

She hesitated. “And Maddie?”

He shook his head. “Just the two of us, maybe somewhere with actual tablecloths and wine and candlelight.”

“Sounds like a date,” she said cautiously.

“That’s the general idea,” he agreed.

“And, for all the reasons we discussed weeks ago, not a good one.”

“Forget about Maddie for a minute,” he told her, even though he wondered if she could. “This is about us and whether or not you want to have dinner with me.”

“I want to,” she admitted, albeit with apparent reluctance.

“So why don’t we discuss all the reasons you think it’s a bad idea on Saturday night?”

Her lips curved, just a little, drawing his attention to that temptingly luscious mouth, stirring erotic memories of the kisses they’d recently shared, and churning up desires that were already almost out of control.

“What time are you suggesting that we have this discussion?” she asked.

“How about seven?”

“That could work,” she finally agreed.

He took a step backward, determined to make his escape before she changed her mind. “Good. I’ll see you then.”

Ashley knew that going on a date with Cam was a bad idea. She knew it when he’d asked and when she’d agreed, but the sensible part of her had temporarily been overpowered by the sexually deprived part. Because while she’d been saying “yes, I’ll have dinner with you” what she’d really been thinking was “yes, I want to get naked with you.”

It was Megan’s fault. She was the one who’d planted the idea of having sex with Cam in Ashley’s mind. Okay, maybe the idea had already taken root, but both Megan and Paige had nurtured it so that suddenly all Ashley could think about was having sex with Cam. And as she was getting ready for her date, she did so knowing that she was probably going to be getting naked with Cam before the night was over.

She took a leisurely shower, rubbing scented lotion on her
skin when she was done, searching out her sexiest lingerie. The dress was a recent purchase from Chaundra’s Boutique. She’d seen it on display in the window and knew she had to buy it, even if she’d wondered if she’d ever have occasion to wear it. As she wriggled into it, she was grateful she’d gone with her instincts because if there was ever a dress made to entice, it was this one that molded to every curve of her body like a lover’s hands.

She’d never before set out to seduce a man. The fact that she was doing so now was both exciting and terrifying. The fact that the man was Cam was even more exciting and terrifying.

She gave a lot of thought to setting the scene. She straightened the bottles and pictures on her dresser, but she didn’t set candles around the room or program soft music. She wanted cozy, not romantic. Nothing that would give him the impression that having sex was about anything more than sex.

She put fresh sheets on the bed, fluffed the pillows, then sank onto the edge of the mattress and wondered—for about the hundredth time—
can I really go through with this?

Did she really believe she could have sex with Cam and not want more? And how much more did she want? Was she looking for a relationship with him—or did she want him to father her child?

And how could she explain to him what she wanted when she wasn’t even sure herself?

Well, he knew she wanted a baby. But she’d let him believe that she wasn’t in any big hurry to get pregnant and that she would be making an appointment at the clinic when she was ready. And, all things considered, that was still probably the best plan.

Except that the more she thought about having Cam’s baby, the more she wanted Cam’s baby, and that realization gave her pause.

Before she left the bedroom, she automatically pulled open the drawer of her nightstand, checking for the condoms she kept there. Use of birth control was a habit that she’d never disregarded, not even—thank goodness—with her cheating bastard ex-fiancé. Checking that she was prepared was simply another deeply ingrained habit, but one that introduced new doubts and questions.

She didn’t think Cam slept around. She certainly hadn’t heard any rumors of him being involved with anyone since he’d come back to Pinehurst. On the other hand, the lack of information might just be a testament to his discretion and not his morals. Although she honestly doubted that he’d have either the opportunity or energy for an affair with a young daughter at home.

But regardless of what she wanted to believe, the fact was, she really didn’t know Cam any better than any man she might meet in a bar. And there was no way she would invite a stranger back to her home, to her bed, without gleaning some pertinent personal information about him first.

Could she trust that what she believed about Cam was true?

And could she trust that she was strong enough to share her body without giving him more?

When he’d left Pinehurst a dozen years earlier, he’d taken a good chunk of her seventeen-year-old heart and all of her silly, romantic dreams with him. Now that he was back, she knew she was in danger of falling into the same trap, of letting herself hope and yearn for something that could never be.

One of the reasons she’d decided to go the sperm bank route was that she hadn’t found herself attracted to any man since she’d ended her engagement. She knew a lot of good-looking men, men with whom she’d flirted and laughed easily in the past. But Trevor’s betrayal had cut deep, undermining both her self-confidence and faith in her own judgment.

If the man who’d claimed to love her and want a family with her could cheat on her even before the wedding, how was she ever supposed to trust anyone else? How could she know that the next guy she met and let herself care about wouldn’t do exactly the same thing? How could she know that Cam wouldn’t?

And the truth was, she didn’t know. Except that she did trust Cam because he’d always been brutally honest with her. If he lost interest in her, he would tell her. He would end their relationship before he moved on, and if he broke her heart in the process, at least he wouldn’t cheat on her.

She shook her head, pushing those thoughts aside. He wouldn’t break her heart—not this time. Because this time, her decision to get involved with him had nothing to do with her heart. She wouldn’t let it.

And yet there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t already too late. If she was planning to bring Cam back here because she did care about him, because the idea of having
his
baby was one that she’d never completely relinquished.

She shook her head, reminding herself that she didn’t want anything from Cam Turcotte except a single night of passion. She would never again make the mistake of loving him.

Considering Ashley’s less-than-enthusiastic response when he’d invited her on this date, Cam didn’t have high expectations when he went to pick her up Saturday night. Still, he figured her agreement, however reluctant, was the first step in the right direction. He knew exactly what he wanted—he’d figured that out even before he’d made the decision to move back to Pinehurst, in the moment that he’d seen her across the room at their high school reunion. He wanted Ashley.