The Price of Freedom (24 page)

Richard was both humbled and
exalted by her words.  He pulled her into his arms and buried his face in
her hair; his heart full of an unnamed emotion that threatened to overwhelm
him.

Raising his head he looked into
her eyes and then bent to kiss each eyelid, her nose, the corners of her mouth,
all with light butterfly kisses.  He trailed kisses down her neck to the
ticklish spot he had discovered, making her squirm. He gently sucked on a
sensitive place on her neck, branding her with his mark.

Deborah unbuttoned his shirt and
pushed it off his broad shoulders, enjoying the sensation of his smooth warm
skin against her hands. She rained kisses on his chest, nipping and branding
him as hers in reciprocation.

Richard suddenly pulled her head
up and plundered her lips with a passion that he could not seem to
restrain.  Deborah gloried in the fact that she could move him with just a
few caresses and met his kiss with the same intensity.  They quickly
divested themselves of any hindrances between them, coming together with an
urgency born of the realization that their time together was short.

Later they leisurely explored each
other as if trying to imprint on their minds memories that they wanted to last
the rest of their lives.

June 29, 1696

Thomas paced up and down as he
waited for Sarah to come to his office.  This was more difficult than
telling Deborah that he had sold her to Richard because he at least knew that
Richard would take care of her and that she was still going to be in the house. 
With Sarah it was different.  He was going to be freeing her and it was
harder than he imagined it would be.

It was not just the thought that
she would no longer be owned by him or
be
available to
him but he realized that she would be without his protection as she and Deborah
would be living in Town, so far away if she needed him.  He had bought her
a small property there earlier in the month; a two bedroom house with a shop
front where she and Deborah could run some sort of business.

He had decided to give her Jacko
as a slave since he couldn’t do much on the plantation with one hand and he
would give her one of the women from the field to help out.

Sarah knocked at the door and he
bid her to come in. She looked as if she had come in from doing the laundry as
the front of her dress was wet and her hands looked wrinkled from being in
water for too long.

“You wanted me Master Thomas?”

“Yes Sarah.”  He paused as if
to collect himself. “Since Richard will be leaving tomorrow and Deborah will be
free to go, I have decided to grant you your freedom now.”

Sarah put a hand over her mouth as
tears sprang to her eyes.

“You freeing me now, Master
Thomas?” she repeated.

“Yes, Sarah. I’m freeing you
now.”  The words were hard to say because in his heart he wanted to keep
her.  “I found a small house in town for you and Deborah where you can
live and have a shop of some sort and I will give you Jacko as well as Mamie,
one of the field girls to help you out.”

“You giving me slaves? 
Master Thomas I don’t want to own anybody.”

“You and Deborah will need their
help.”

Sarah was overcome with all the
information and had to sit down.  Things were changing so fast. 
Master Richard was leaving tomorrow, Deborah was free and now the Master was
freeing her and giving her property?  She couldn’t believe it.

“I’m also going to give you £100
for you to set up a shop and live on until you start to make some money from
the shop.”

Thomas knew that Sarah couldn’t
really comprehend having that sort of money so he would give it to Deborah and
let her deal with the finances. 

“It’s not going to be easy to let
you go, Sarah.  From the time you came, you have made my life
happier.  I still want to see you.  When I’m in Town I will come and
spend the night or the weekend with you.”  This was more of a statement
than a request but she nodded.

He went to his desk and picked up
a document.  “This is the document that says you are free.  Keep it
safe so that no-one can ever make you a slave again.”

“Thank you, Master Thomas,” she
said clutching the paper. “I can’t believe that this happening.  Deborah
and I talked about being free but I never believed it would be so quick. She is
going to be so happy when she hears this, because I know that she was worried
about me.”  Thomas nodded.

“Would you come to me tonight,
Sarah?  We only have a few days before you leave.” 

“Yes, Master Thomas.”  She
left the room quickly and he knew that she was going to find Deborah to tell
her the news.  He was torn between joy for her and a deep sadness that his
life would no longer be the same without her.

Richard could not believe that he
would be on a ship bound for Carolina the next day. His trunks were packed and
waiting, only the things he would need for tomorrow remained.  Deborah had
packed it in spite of his protests that she was no longer his slave. He wasn’t
surprised though because in the month since he'd freed her nothing had changed.
She still cleaned his room, washed his clothes and looked after him. Either it
was a habit that was hard to break or she just wanted to do it for him out of
love.  He preferred to think it was the latter.

Lying in bed now with her head on
his chest, a feeling of longing sought to overwhelm him. It was as if they had
already parted and he was experiencing the separation even though she was still
here.  He remembered leaving Ann in Carolina with hardly a pang and yet
here he was torn up inside at the thought of having to part from Deborah. 
He certainly had not felt this way about Anise either, although he had enjoyed
her attentions. He didn't know what it was about Deborah but the thought of
leaving her tomorrow made him feel as if his heart was being torn out and left
behind in Barbados.  Maybe it was.

Thoughts began to torment him.
Would she meet some free man and get married? Have children? After all she was
only eighteen, even though she seemed so much older. The thought of her in
another man's arms gave him a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He
tightened his arms around her as if in protest.

“What’s the matter?” she
asked.  She had also been deep in thought.  She felt as if she was
mourning the loss of Richard already and he had not yet gone.  She
couldn’t imagine how she would feel when he got on that boat tomorrow. Her
heart grieved silently.

“Nothing that I
can do anything about.”

“I was just remembering when I
heard your uncle reading the letter you sent. I disliked you instantly.” She
laughed softly.

Richard looked at her in
surprise.  “Why?  You didn’t even know me.”

“No. Nor did I want to.  You
had told him that you were coming to Barbados to see how he managed his slaves
so that you would know what to do when you bought some for your
plantation.  You were talking about us as if we were animals to buy and
sell.”

“I didn’t mean you.”

“Until you freed me, I was a slave
too.  Just because I worked in the house or my skin was whiter does not
make me any different.  Because I had the opportunity to learn how to read
and do other things does not make me more intelligent than them.  They are
people just like me.”

Richard was silent.  He still
saw Deborah differently, no matter what she said. In fact he had never seen her
as a slave.

“Tell me what you plan to do now
that you’re free and my uncle has freed your mother,” he said changing the
subject to a safer topic.

“I’m so glad that Master Thomas
freed her too.  You know that he has bought her a house?”  Richard
nodded. “I can’t believe that we will actually own a house.”

“My mother is going to make
clothes to sell and I will sell herbs, soaps and things like that.  That’s
what I know best. Master Thomas said that he would help me make some contacts
with merchants from England and France and I can bring in herbs and things on
his ship.” She was very excited at the prospect of running her own business and
being independent.

“I’m sure that you’ll be very good
at it.  Look how well you healed me with your teas, when I had that
stomach ailment and again when I had the concussion.”

“About that stomach ailment; I
have a confession to make,” she started.

“What? You really did try to
poison me?” he asked in disbelief.

“No, but I felt very guilty
because I didn’t know if I had heated up the food I gave you properly and if it
was because of that you were sick.  You see, I was very upset when you
came and invaded my grove on my day off and then demanded that I get you something
to eat. I was so tempted to tell you ‘Get it yourself’ but I could not of
course.”

“I could not tell by the way you
walked off with such dignity. That was when I knew that I wanted you.” Deborah
smiled.

“I wasn’t sure if you would have
me flogged so I bit my lip to keep from answering you back.”

Richard sobered.  “I would
never have flogged you. When Jethro was flogging you, it was as if I could feel
the pain in my own body.” He hugged her tighter.

“I truly understood pain that day
and I swore that I would never again be rebellious. I was crying out to God to
help me when you rode into the yard and shouted for Jethro to stop.”

“You were? I didn’t even know that
you believed in God.”

“I was not sure then, I was
wondering if he was real; but now I do.  I’m convinced that your coming to
Barbados was part of some divine plan because so much has happened since you
came, for the better. I feel as if you were sent here on a mission.”

“Thank you for your kind words,
Deborah, but I don’t think that God would use the likes of me for any divine
purpose.  I’m the worst of sinners.  I have a fiancée in Carolina as
well as a mistress and here I am in bed with you, to say the least.”

“You have a mistress in Carolina?”
Deborah said in disbelief, sitting up. To her that was even worse than having a
fiancée because she knew now that his marriage was an arrangement but having a
mistress was by choice.

“I used to, but she may have moved
on to someone else.  You have successfully removed both from my
mind.  Let me just hold you until the dawn then I will leave without
disturbing you so that we don’t have to say goodbye.”

They became silent, their thoughts
filled with the memories of the few months they had had together and
reluctantly of the days to come when those memories would grow dim and be
replaced by others of which they would not be a part.

Early the next day

Richard slipped out of bed while
it was still dark. Deborah stirred but thankfully did not wake up.  He
washed quickly with the water in the jug and dressed without lighting a lamp.
He quietly picked up his trunks and deposited them outside the door for Jethro
to pick up.

Returning to his room he put some
money wrapped in a piece of paper on the bedside table and took one last look
at Deborah as she lay on her stomach with her hair gloriously down her bare
back as he liked it.  That was one of the images that he would take with
him to Carolina.  She had changed his life in ways that she did not even
know, opened his eyes to see things differently and stolen his heart, leaving
him with a gaping wound where it used to be.  He knew that time would heal
the wound but his heart would always remain in Barbados.

Deborah woke up with a start as if
a noise had penetrated her sleep.  The room had an empty feeling about it
and even without seeing Richard’s side of the bed empty; she knew that he was
gone. Something on the bedside table caught her eye as she looked over at
Richard’s side of the bed.  She eagerly opened the folded up paper
thinking that it was a note from him.  Instead she found money.  On
counting it she discovered it was £20 and although she was disappointed that he
had not left a note she knew that he was making sure she was taken care of.
After all what else was there to say?