The Principal's Office (32 page)

Gary’s parking spot was empty, thank God. The development was huge, with apartments on three levels. Gary’s was on the third floor because he’d wanted the vaulted ceilings, skylights, and balcony. It was nice, and since she got the house, she couldn’t begrudge him a decent place to take the boys. Except right now when he was blackmailing her.

The front door opened into a small entry with a coat closet on one side. From there, you entered the living room, which had a sofa alcove. The room was bright with sun streaming through the skylights. To the right was the kitchen and eating nook and the hall back to the three bedrooms. The boys had their own bathroom, too.

She headed back to Gary’s room. His bed was neatly made, all his clothes hung up or put in the hamper. Sherry’s influence? God, she was still comparing.
Get over it.

She stood in front of his bureau. Maybe he was as stupid as she was and had hidden the video card in the same place, the underwear drawer. She reached for it, a walnut bureau with three skinny drawers along the top for socks and underwear or lingerie.

She was here; she could search everywhere, find the video, save
herself, save Rand. Yet now, when the moment was upon her, she couldn’t get her hand to move. She couldn’t touch that drawer.

What the hell was she doing? She’d lied to Yvonne about the doctor’s appointment, gone through her son’s backpack while he was getting ready for school, stolen his key, broken into her ex’s apartment. Lying, stealing. What was next, murder? It didn’t matter that she had a key, she didn’t have permission. This wasn’t like her; this was some other crazy woman. Gary had gone through her drawers, but was she as bad as him? No, she was better than that.

Rachel started backing out of the room as if she were afraid that something terrible would attack the moment she turned her back on the bureau. Or she’d change her mind and ransack the place.

And wasn’t Gary a tiny bit right? Now she could have Rand. She wouldn’t have to tell him she’d lost the video. He’d never have to know. He wouldn’t get angry with her. They were safe.

She turned around only after she was out in the hall, the brightness of the freshly painted white almost blinding. Arms outstretched, both hands on the wall supporting her as she made her way back to the living room, she felt dizzy. Oh yes, she could have Rand. She could fuck him every night of the week. When she got horny, she could beg him to come over. They could play out all the rape fantasies they wanted.

All she had to do was give up her sons.

God, what had she been thinking when she let Rand make that video?

Maybe she could bargain with Gary. He could have the boys every weekend. She could take them during the week. Surely that would be enough to satisfy Sherry. Yes, yes, give and take.

But she’d still have to give up Rand. All of this had started when she’d let herself get carried away with him. She couldn’t make everything right if she didn’t put an end to it, if she didn’t stop doing all the things that had gotten her into trouble in the
first place. She had to return to being the staid, vanilla woman she’d been two months ago before she’d ever met Rand.

She had to tell him it was over and really mean it.

Before she lost her courage.

RAND DIDN’T GO OUT TO LUNCH ON A REGULAR BASIS. HE PREFERRED
having a sandwich at his desk, where he could take care of paperwork, and he often scheduled meetings during the lunch period, just as he had with Nathan earlier.

So he was pleased he was free when Miss Watson buzzed him and told him Mrs. Delaney was here. Perfect. Since he’d had Nathan in his office only half an hour before, there was nothing suspicious in his mother showing up.

He had visions of bending Rachel over the principal’s desk.

He loved a really hot, sexy fantasy in the middle of the day. He’d tell her about it, get her all worked up. They could replay it tonight on the phone.

The visions died the moment he saw her face. She was pale, dark circles beneath her eyes, the hazel color now muddy with her roiling emotions. It couldn’t be Nathan; everything was fine with Nathan, mission accomplished, except the last phase of his plan, which Rand would carry out this afternoon.

“Mrs. Delaney,” he said for benefit of Miss Watson, “please, sit down.” He leaned out the door. “Hold my calls.” After receiving a thumbs-up, he shut himself in with Rachel.

She collapsed into the chair Nathan had occupied earlier.

“What’s wrong?” Rand leaned back on the edge of the desk, propping himself so he could face her. He wanted to be close; the other side of the desk was too far away.

She clasped her hands in her lap and didn’t look at him. “I have to stop seeing you.”

His heart coughed like an engine that was on the verge of
dying. Then it kick-started. “What’s happened? Is it something with Nathan?” Because
that
problem was solved.

She shook her head. “No.”

“Justin?” It had to be one of her boys; there could be no other reason.

Again, she shook her head, then she swallowed. “It’s not the boys. It’s just that I need to do what’s right.”

He closed his eyes briefly. One day they were on; the next they were off. He was getting a little ticked at the roller-coaster ride she kept taking him on. Then he got hold of himself. She wouldn’t look at him, so he went down in a squat before her. “Everything is good with Nathan now. We can work this out, let the boys know that we’re attracted, that we’d like to see each other.”

“I’m not telling them about us.” Her eyes were wild.

Her sharp tone pissed him off as well, but he tamped it down since she was so obviously upset. “Rachel, it’s time to start thinking in terms of a relationship, a future.”

She simply stared at him like he’d suddenly shed his skin and turned out to be an alien. “This was casual. We have no future. No one was ever supposed to know.”

“Is this because we arrived home late on Sunday?”

She clamped her lips shut. That was his answer; yes, it was about Sunday. Something had happened when she got home, which was why she hadn’t taken his calls either Sunday night or Monday.

He covered her clasped hands with his palm. He realized he was springing this relationship idea on her.
He’d
thought about it; she might take a little bit longer. “This isn’t about sex anymore, Rachel. It’s become more important than
just
sex.”

All at once, she yanked her hands out of his, shoved the chair back, and began to pace the office. Outside, teenagers marched—or shuffled—to and fro, but, for his students’ privacy, he always kept the blinds slightly tilted so that it was difficult to see inside. Now it was for Rachel’s privacy.

“I’m not letting you go without an explanation,” he said softly, her back to him. “What happened on Sunday that has you all freaked out? Don’t lie and tell me it’s nothing.”

She whirled on him. “I
do not
lie.” Yet in the next split second, her gaze fell.

That obviously pricked a nerve. “Then tell me. Let’s talk about this.”

She buried her face in her hands. “Men don’t like to talk.” It came out slightly muffled through her fingers.

He gave her a gentle smile. “I’m an educator. I talk for a living. And I’m a good listener.”

She was silent for several heartbeats, then finally she slid back down into the chair, perching on the edge of it. She smoothed her skirt down over her thighs. He didn’t tower over her, but took up the other seat.

“Promise you’re not going to get mad or freak out.”

As much as he wanted to smile, he didn’t. How many times had he heard those exact words in this office and all the other offices he’d had? He gave the same answer he always did. “I won’t get mad.”

“While we were in Las Vegas, my ex-husband found the video you and I made.”

Instead of speeding up, his heart rate slowed to something like sludge. “Where was it?” He thought he sounded quite calm.

“In my lingerie drawer.” She swallowed nervously.

“Does he feel he has a right to paw through your lingerie?” Yes, he was deadly calm about the whole thing.

“No, he just—” She stopped, as if fearing his reaction.

“He just”—significant pause—“what?”

“He wanted to find something on me,” she said softly. “When he realized I’d been away for the weekend, he didn’t think it was just a trip with the girls.”

Rand breathed deeply, but found his fists clenched around the
arms of his chair. He loosened them. He’d like nothing better than to beat Delaney to a bloody pulp. He advocated non-violence, but he enjoyed the image of crushing a few of the man’s bones. “So he found our lovely video and told you that you had to break off our relationship or”—he spread his hands—“what?”

She shook her head, and he was struck again with the similarity to Nathan. Mannerisms were the tell between family. They pursed their lips the same, shook their heads the same.

“He doesn’t care whether I stop seeing you or not.” She dipped her head. “He wants me to give him full custody of the boys. If I don’t, he’ll go to court and use the video to show I’m an unfit mother.”

He felt his anger rage until he was sure the whites of his eyes had turned red. “What did you tell him?”

“I said yes.” Her eyes flashed, as if suddenly she had someone to lash out at. “What else could I tell him? He’ll let me have them one or two weekends a month. Otherwise I might not get to see them at all.”

The man definitely deserved a thrashing. Those boys were the most important thing in the world to Rachel, and that asshole ex of hers was hitting where it would hurt the most.

“He can also use it to get you fired,” she said softly.

That did it. He couldn’t ratchet back the ire, and he stood, turning on her. “We made a private video in the comfort of my home for personal use only. He cannot get me fired for that, especially as it was stolen property. This isn’t about us. This is about you and the boys.”

“I know,” she said, her voice low, almost cowed. “His girlfriend wants more time with the boys. She wants to be a mother or something.”

“Then tell her to have her own children,” he barked, immediately regretting the harshness. This wasn’t Rachel’s fault. It wasn’t even his for making the video in the first place. He didn’t regret
that for a moment. He regretted only that he hadn’t yet gotten to watch it with her. What that man was doing to her was unconscionable.

He stood with his hands clasped behind his back. “He’s bluffing, Rachel. He isn’t going to show that video to anyone. If he intended to, he would have gone directly to family court without blackmailing you first.”

She licked her lips, then looked up at him with pleading in her eyes. “I know. But I can’t take that chance. He could try to hurt you. And what would the boys do if they ever found out?”

“I would enjoy having him take me on.” He’d crush the asswipe. “But there’s no way he’s going to let your boys see that video or even hear of its existence. He knows it’ll have the opposite effect and make them hate him for exposing it.”

She pressed her lips together and gave him a militant glare. “You can’t know that’s how they’ll react.”

“I know teenagers, and they’ll surprise you every time. They’re far more tolerant than most parents expect. They’ll probably think you’re cool.” Once they got over the idea of having their mom sexualized. No self-respecting kid
wanted
to imagine his parents having sex. But if the ex-husband told them about the video, they’d be much more likely to hate
him
because he was the one who’d asked for the divorce in the first place. It was the equivalent of waving a red flag at them and saying,
Yeah, I really was the asshole who dumped on your mom when she didn’t deserve it.

Rand pointed that out. “They’ll blame Gary for doing this to you more than they’ll blame you for making the video.”

“They’ll think I’m a slut,” she muttered.

He was down beside her chair in a flash. “You are not a slut in a derogatory sense. You’re beautiful, you’re sexual, you’re young, and you have a right to enjoy all the pleasure your body craves.”

She rolled her lips together, smudging her lipstick. Then she dipped her head, trying to hide the tears he suspected were near the surface. “Please don’t talk like that. I can’t handle you being nice. It makes me want things I can’t have.”

He covered her folded hands just as he’d done before. “You
can
have them, Rachel. You deserve them. And you deserve to have your boys with you, too.” He tipped his head to look up into her eyes and lowered his voice. “Call his bluff.”

“I can’t,” she whispered. “I could lose everything.”

“You’ve already lost it if you give him full custody without a fight.”

She sniffed. “You don’t understand.”

He wanted to shout at her. She was giving in to her husband, giving up her kids, and giving up on him because she was afraid something worse would happen. He understood fear. He just didn’t understand letting it completely control you.

“Maybe things will all blow over,” she offered meekly. “Sherry could decide she doesn’t want the kids all the time. Something will happen.”

Something would happen. Nathan and Justin would think she’d abandoned them. “What excuse are you going to give the boys?”

She flapped a hand as if it didn’t matter. “That I’m going back to school.”

He sighed. “You’re handing your ex-husband all the cards. Your kids will blame
you
. This is wrong, Rachel.”

“I don’t have any other choice.”

She did. She was just afraid to make it. He rose, hearing his knees creak as if in the space of half an hour, he’d aged a decade. “I want you, Rachel. I’m willing to stand by you if you want to challenge him. You haven’t done anything wrong. He violated your privacy. Now he’s trying to make you into the villain. Don’t let him.”

He knew her answer before she said it. “There isn’t any other way.”

“There’s always another way.” He waited. She didn’t answer. He could go to her ex-husband, force the man to back down, but Gary would find another way to get at her. Unless
she
stood up to him. “I can’t fight this battle for you, Rachel. You have to do this yourself. You have to refuse to give him your kids.”