When he stepped into the sanctuary of the Quincy church, he noted the differences between the small building in Beldon Grove and this one. Where his church had benches, the Quincy meeting house had high-backed pews. One of the windows had been set with tiny panes of stained glass, which scattered drops of color over the heads of the worshipers. A simple cross was carved into the front of the tall pulpit. He made a note to himself to have someone carve a similar cross on his pulpit in Beldon Grove. Then heaviness filled his chest as he remembered. It wasn’t his church anymore.
His gaze fell on a blonde woman seated near the aisle. She held a sleeping infant wrapped in a blue blanket. Next to her sat three children, stairstepped in age. Her husband sat at the other end of the pew. Matthew groaned. His loneliness felt like physical pain.
“Are your ribs hurting?” Mrs. Meecham whispered. “You don’t have to stay if it’s too painful.”
He shook his head. “I’ll be all right. Please don’t worry.” Once seated, Matthew opened his Bible, flipping to the Psalms for comfort. It was time to go home
.
When Matthew reached the grove of cottonwoods marking the ten-mile point from Quincy, he turned his horse due east and plodded toward home. Although his ribs and shoulder had begun to heal during the nine days he’d spent at Meechams’, every step Samson took sent a jolt of pain through Matthew’s right side. He gritted his teeth and rode on, determined to reach Beldon Grove before nightfall.
In the distance, he saw a rider coming toward him. Tall grass concealed the horse’s legs, making it appear the rider was sailing across the prairie. Several minutes passed before Matthew saw the man’s face clearly.
Daniel Griffith.
He tugged on Samson’s reins and stopped to wait.
Daniel pulled his hat off and hollered, “Reverend!” A wide grin split his tanned face. “Wish all my tracking jobs was this easy.”
“Someone sent you to find me? Did something happen to Ellie? One of the children?”
“Naw, nothing like that. You was gone so long Doc asked me to go looking for you. Miz Craig’s been sore worried.”
Matthew pushed his hat back and rubbed his forehead. “Fell off my horse the day after I left.” He shifted in the saddle so Daniel could see that his right arm was bound to his side. “I’ve been in Quincy being tended to. I knew my wife would worry, but couldn’t find anyone to take word back.”
Daniel affected a world-weary expression. “Well, you know how women are. The least little thing throws them into a tizzy.”
The image of young Daniel as an expert on women amused Matthew. Although Daniel was twenty-four years old, he’d never left his parents’ home, nor showed any interest in the girls who shined up to him. Matthew figured it had something to do with his older brother running away when the boys were in their late teens. Since then, Daniel had done all he could to reassure his mother that he had no plans to desert her.
Matthew suppressed a smile and said, “That being the case, I’d best hurry along.”
Daniel swung his horse around and rode next to him. “I’ll stick with you, Reverend, ’til you get to your farm. Wouldn’t want nothing else to happen to you out here.” He pointed to the east. “Saw some wolf tracks back yonder. We need to keep a bright lookout.”
Alarm prickled through Matthew. “How many, do you think?”
“More than a few. Heard they’ve been killing sheep.”
The image of his wife and children alone on the farm rose in his mind. Before Matthew left Quincy, Elder Meecham gave him the names of settlements to visit on the southern Illinois circuit. Matthew knew the assignment would keep him away from home for weeks on end.
“I expect you to get started just as quick as you can,” Meecham had said. “You’re leaving me hard pressed to fill the pulpit in Beldon Grove—don’t shirk on the circuit too.”
Matthew’s gaze locked on his horse’s tangled mane while a fresh wave of anger washed over him.
Lord, you know I’m not shirking.
Help Ellie and Meecham to see it too.
Daniel interrupted his thoughts. “Say, how come you were in Quincy? Have business there?”
“Yes.” Matthew drew a shallow breath. “I’m leaving the Beldon Grove church.”
Daniel gaped at him. “Because of what people are saying about you and the missus having them babies die on you?”
“Mostly.”
“Never figured you for a quitter, Reverend.”
Ellie opened both the front door and the sitting room window, hoping for a cooling breeze while she stitched her way through the week’s mending. She sewed patches on the knees of Harrison’s pants, but her mind remained preoccupied with Matthew. Karl had assured her Daniel could find him, but she didn’t see how. It had rained twice since he left. Any tracks would have been washed away. She thought of Mr. Beldon’s offer to assist in the search, wishing the twins hadn’t been so rude to him. The more help they had, the sooner Matthew might be found.
Hooves clattered on the plank bridge.
She startled at the sound, her needle stabbing the soft flesh of her index finger. Ellie swiped at the drop of blood with her apron and hurried to the back door in time to see Daniel Griffith ride into the yard. And behind him, Matthew.
She dropped her mending on the porch floor and dashed down the steps. “You’re safe!”
“Yes.” Matthew eased off his horse. Deep creases lined his face, making him look older than his years. His right arm was bound to his body.
“Oh my word. What happened?” She went to him and nestled close to his left side, breathing in his special Matthew smell. Having him close brought the frayed edges of her life back together.
“I’ll tell you when we get inside. I need to sit on something that’s not moving.” Matthew’s face showed surprise when Uncle Arthur shuffled onto the porch. “Looks like you have news for me too.”
Daniel turned his horse toward the road. “Be seeing you, Reverend. I hope.” He tipped his hat and rode out of the farmyard.
Ellie watched him go, puzzled. “What does he mean, ‘I hope’? Why wouldn’t he be seeing you?”
“In a minute. I’ve got to rest.” Matthew climbed the stairs, drawing a breath between each step.
Once in the kitchen, the children came running as he made his way to Ellie’s rocking chair. Matthew sat carefully, tipping the chair so that his weight rested against the back. “Helps to get pressure off my ribs.”
Maria slipped next to his left side and patted his hand. “What’s wrong with your ribs?”
Matthew’s mouth twisted in a half smile, half grimace. “I think they’re all broke. The ones on my right side, anyway.”
“Oh, Matt.” The words flew from Ellie’s mouth. “And you rode home like that?” She slid into a chair facing her husband. “When did it happen?”
The family gathered around the kitchen table and listened while Matthew told of his accident and stay in Quincy. “I knew you’d be worried.” His eyes met Ellie’s. “But there wasn’t any way to get word back quick enough. When Daniel showed up, I guessed you must have thought I was a goner.”
“Daniel found you?”
“We met on the trail. I wasn’t lost, but he stayed with me. Said he was worried something else would happen.” His lips stretched in a wry grin. “Can’t say I was sorry for the company.”
“And Elder Meecham? What did he have to say?”
“Plenty of time for that later.” Matthew nodded in the direction of their children. He tilted his head and sniffed the air. “Something smells good. What’s for supper?”
Ellie recognized a deliberate change of subject. “Stewed prairie hens. The boys snared two this morning.” She moved toward the stove. “It’ll be on the table in a few minutes.”
During the meal Matthew focused his attention on Uncle Arthur, peppering him with questions regarding his whereabouts during the past several weeks. Ellie listened, fingers drumming impatiently in her lap, while he took Matthew through every mile of his search for Aunt Ruby.
As soon as he wound down, Ellie turned to the children. “Bedtime. You need to be up early to start your chores.”
Matthew laid his fork on his empty plate and took a swallow of coffee. “Don’t hurry them. They can stay up a few extra minutes tonight.”
Ellie bit her lower lip. “Fine.” She seized a stack of plates and plunked them in the basin. “Maria, come help me.”
“But I want to talk to Papa.”
“So do I.” After nearly two weeks alone with her children, at that moment Ellie felt ready to lock them in the root cellar. She set her jaw and poured steaming water over the supper dishes. What happened at Meechams’? Frustrated, she plunged her hands into the cloudy water. A sharp pain shot across the base of her thumb and she jerked her hand out to find blood trickling from a gash in her palm. A moan escaped her lips as she wrapped the wound in her apron.
“Ellie.” Matthew struggled from the chair and crossed the room. He lifted her hand. “Let me see.”
“I can take care of it myself.” She jerked her hand free. “Maria, please wash those dishes. Watch out, there’s a knife in the water.” Ellie stalked toward the stairs. “Good night. I’m going to bed.”
When she climbed the steps, she was aware of her family’s stunned expressions, but she was beyond caring.
Matthew closed the bedroom door behind him. Ellie sat up, pushing one of the feather pillows against the headboard for a backrest. He walked around to her side of the bed and scrutinized her bandaged hand. Faint traces of blood showed through the linen strips. “How’s your cut?”
“I think the bleeding’s stopped. It’s not as bad as it looked at first.” She disengaged herself from his grasp.
“Maria can wash dishes for you while your hand heals.”
“Yes.” Silence settled between them. After a moment, Ellie cleared her throat. “Well? What happened in Quincy? Did you resign?”
The candle flame on the bedside table guttered as Matthew sank into the chair beside the fireplace. “No, I didn’t resign . . . exactly.”
“What’s that mean?”
“It means I’m still a pastor in the church.” He dropped his head and began fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.
“Our church? Oh, that’s wonderful. I’ve been praying that’s what you’d decide.” She threw the covers back and slid to the floor, ready to wrap her arms around him. Before she reached the rocker, however, he held up a hand to stop her. Ellie stood still, floorboards cold beneath her feet.
“Not in Beldon Grove. I told him I couldn’t go back there.”
“What?”
“I asked to be assigned to a different church.”
“But we can’t leave this farm after all the work we’ve—”
“We’re not leaving. He’s assigned me to the southern circuit.”
The room swayed. Ellie pushed herself back up onto the bed and stared at her husband. Her frustration flared into hot anger. “When we got married, you said you were finished with circuit riding. You promised.”
His shoulders drooped. “Try to understand. This was my only choice. It was either go back to the circuit or leave the ministry altogether.”
Heart pounding in her throat, Ellie spit the words at him. “It wasn’t your only choice. You could’ve stayed right where you are. Beldon Grove needs you. You always said God put you here. How can you walk away from his will?”
“Now you’re God’s messenger? Leave me be.” Matthew rubbed his eyes. “I have to work this out for myself.”
“No, you have to work this out for all of us. How do you expect me to take care of the house and crops and children without you?”
“Arthur’s here, isn’t he?”
Before she realized what she was doing, Ellie had flung herself from the bed and raised her hand to slap him across the face.
Matthew seized her wrist and stared at her, shock in his eyes. “What’s come over you?”
“I don’t need Uncle Arthur. I need you.” She crumpled to the floor at his feet, sobbing. Blood from her cut oozed onto her nightgown.
“Stop it. Please.” With difficulty he rose from the rocking chair and helped Ellie stand, then led her to the bed. “Get some sleep. We’ll talk tomorrow.”
He left the room, taking the candle with him. When the door closed, Ellie wrapped her arms around her middle and rocked back and forth in the silent darkness. Tears of remorse slid over her cheeks.