The Pull of Destiny (53 page)

She blinked up at me. “You
want the complete, unabridged story or the condensed version?” she asked, a
joking tone in her voice. But the look in her eyes was pensive and it made me
want to hold her close.

“I’ll listen to whatever you
want to tell me,” I replied truthfully, wrapping my arm tighter around her.

“My mom was the baby of the
family. She got whatever she wanted and with good reason- she was charming. But
when she started middle school she fell through the cracks. It started with
smoking and before you know it, she was drinking, staying out all night- all
this at the age of 13.” Her voice hitched. “She met my dad in around the time
she started smoking weed. He was 17, she was barely 15, but she told him she
was 18. When she found out that she was pregnant, my dad had already left to go
back to his home in LA. Of course, she had no way of contacting him.” CiCi
shook her head and gave me a faint smile. “She was such a ditz. Didn’t even get
his address. Just knew his name, but they didn’t have Facebook back then. Her
parents- my grandparents- they were furious. Kicked her out of the house
because she didn’t want an abortion. They disowned her just like that. So my
mom ended up in a women’s shelter and I was born. That’s when things really
started getting bad. She started doing crack, crystal meth and we moved from
place to place. I don’t remember it that well, all I remember is her yelling
and laughing and crying when she was high.” Staring down at her feet, CiCi
shuddered. “It was scary. Child Protection took me away once and she swore at
the lady who came to get me. Just stood outside in the road and swore,
screaming, crying and throwing her shoes at the car.”

“Did you go to a foster home
after that?” I asked, engrossed in her story.

 She was talking in a monotone,
almost as though she was detaching herself from what had happened. I felt
guilty for bringing it up, but I’d been curious about that part of her for a
long time. And she spoke like she needed to tell someone.

She nodded without looking
up. “Two months. Mom went to government ordered rehab. It’s not like she was
abusing me or anything, she just had to get clean before she could get custody
of me again. When she got me back, things started looking up. She got a job as
a waitress, we got public housing, she was off the drugs- life was better and
more stable.” Her eyes misted over as she continued, her voice wistful. “I
remember she used to make me hot chocolate with the tiny marshmallows and we
would snuggle in bed. She took me to go meet Aunt Kelly for the first time when
I was 4. But- it didn’t last.”

“She relapsed.”

It wasn’t a question. Why
CiCi wasn’t screwed up beyond all reason was beyond me. Maybe she had repressed
everything, but I knew some people who had grown up in better conditions and
had still managed to be screw-ups. Like me. My respect for CiCi grew. She was a
trooper.              

CiCi gave a humorless laugh.
“In a huge way. You see, now that she had Aunt Kelly back in her life, she
would drop me off at her place and leave for days. Then she’d come home and-
she was just cracked out. Like the hobo’s you see panhandling on the street. I
look at them every day, Luke, coz I think I’ll see my mom among them one day.”
She rubbed her eyes fiercely with the heel of her hand and I quickly handed her
a napkin, but she wasn’t crying. “On my 5
^th
birthday she took me to
Aunt Kelly’s- she was making me a birthday dinner. Aunt Kelly was out of soda
and mom offered to go buy a bottle.” She shrugged. “And that was it. I never
saw her again.”

I stared down at her, not
sure what to say. Was there anything I could say that would make her feel
better? Nope.

“Damn, CiCi- that sucks.”

Obviously not the most
sympathetic line to come out of my mouth.

“I know. The fact that she
wasn’t coming back didn’t register with me for a long time, but when I finally-
you know, understood- I just broke down and cried. I was just a kid and she
left me all alone.” CiCi cleared her throat, pushing her hair back. “But I’m
okay with it now. It was probably all for the best.”

“You didn’t deserve it,” I
told her, hating the sad look on her face. “Shit, you
don’t
deserve it.
I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“What doesn’t kill me only
makes me stronger,” she quipped. “Anyway, there was nothing I could have done.
Aunt Kelly had no idea my mom was just going to leave me there.”

“What about your dad? You
ever met him?” I asked. She shook her head.

“I don’t know anything about
him, not even his name. I know Aunt Kelly knows, but she wouldn’t tell me
because she prefers to let sleeping dogs lie.” She sighed. “And to be honest,
even if he knows about me, which I doubt, he doesn’t want anything to do with
me.”

This whole conversation was
just too depressing for words and it was my fault for bringing it up.

I got to my feet and pulled a
surprised CiCi up. “C’mon,” I said, slipping my hand into hers and leading her
out of my room.

“Where are we going?” she
asked curiously.

“To make hot chocolate. I’m
thirsty. I’m sure you are too coz you’ve been talking non-stop.”

“Um, a little. You’re random,
you know that?”

I grinned at her as we walked
into the empty kitchen. Dad, Hope and Faith were in Martha’s Vineyard for the
weekend. Thank God.

“So I’ve been told. Now,
where the hell are those marshmallows?”

CiCi sat on a stool at the
breakfast table while I started making the hot chocolate.

“Luke, did your doctor tell
you when he’ll be able to operate?” she asked suddenly, just as I found the
whipped cream.

“Nope. Same old story. It’s
driving me crazy that there’s nothing they can do about it,” I replied,
sticking my head into the fridge to locate the milk.

“It must be scary, not
knowing what’s gonna happen,” she mused.

Scary was one way to describe
it. I tried not to think about the whole situation, for fear it would make me
crazy. “I’m taking each day as it comes,” I admitted.

“And you still haven’t told
Ahmed, Wendy and Denise about it?”

I laughed as I placed CiCi’s
mug in front of her. If there’s one thing I can do well, it’s make a mean hot
chocolate. I could run circles around Dunkin Donuts.

“They’re not talking to me.
Well, Denise just says hi to me, so I guess that’s something. Wendy and Ahmed
like to pretend I don’t exist.”

“I’m sorry,” CiCi said before
taking a sip of her hot chocolate.

“It’s not your fault. I
should have picked better friends. In fact, I-,” I started, only to be
interrupted by CiCi’s loud gasp as she looked up at the clock on the wall.

“Oh no! It’s almost 10pm!
Luke, why didn’t you tell me it was this late?”

I bit my lip shamefacedly,
vaguely remembering CiCi telling me she had to be home by 8pm or her cousin
would freak. I told her airily that I would get her home way before that but as
you can see- didn’t happen.

“Oh, God, sorry. I forgot.” I
covered CiCi’s hand with mine as she stared wild eyed at the clock like she was
willing it to turn back a few hours.

“What am I gonna do?” she
wailed.

The answer popped into my
head unbidden. I swear I hadn’t been thinking about this all afternoon. I
swear.

“You can stay over.”

Now CiCi was looking at me
like I was crazy.

“That would just make matters
worse. I gotta get home. Right now.” She took a last sip of her hot chocolate,
clearly burning her lip, and started to stand up. I pulled her back down again.

“No, stop. Is your aunt
home?”

“I guess. But what-.”

“Call her and tell her you’re
staying over at Robyn’s. You’ve done it before, right?” I said logically.

“Yeah, but not when I was
planning to stay over at a boys house!”

“I won’t jump you in the
middle of the night. I’m just trying to give you a way out. Nate doesn’t have
to find out.”

CiCi blinked, tugging on her
earlobe as she looked up at me. “I don’t know if this is a good idea...”

I handed her the cordless
phone. “Trust me. It’s way better than showing up at your place this late.”

“Luke,” she groaned, a faint
smile on her face as she took the phone. “You make me so bad!”

God, I wished.

CiCi’s cheeks flushed a
little as she spoke to her aunt and my guilty conscience flared up. Obviously I
wasn’t going to jump CiCi, but it felt wrong for me to get her to lie to her
aunt. Still, I tried to tell myself that it was for a good cause. The
consequences for CiCi arriving home this late would no doubt be dire,
especially if her cousin had anything to do with it.

“Okay, we’re all set,” CiCi
announced as soon as she was off the phone. She gave me a mock threatening
look. “This better be worth it.”

“Sure it’ll be! We can order
pizza and hang out on the deck,” I said, warming to my idea.

And that’s exactly what we
did.

Looking up at the sky as we
sat in the hammock together, CiCi murmured, “It’s so beautiful out here.”

“You know what, we could
totally sleep out here,” I said impulsively.

A bring it on look on her
face, CiCi smiled at me. “Let’s do it!”

We raided the laundry room
and came out with a ton of blankets and sleeping bags.

“I swear, I don’t know why we
even have sleeping bags. I’ve never been camping in my life!” I laughed once we
were laying down in our improvised bed, CiCi’s back snuggling against my chest.
It was almost too comfortable to be legal. She felt so good in my arms.

“I went camping once,” CiCi
murmured sleepily. “All the insects kept biting me. Not an experience I want to
relive.”

I cuddled her closer as the
conversation dwindled and I finally realized that she had fallen asleep. And as
corny as it sounds, I’m glad she was in my arms.

Next morning.

Celsi’s Point of View.

I’m not one to brag, but Luke
Astor cuddled me all night long!

There. Got that out of my
system.

When I woke up the next
morning, I was sure I was dreaming. I was sleeping outside, wrapped in a bunch
of comfy blankets and Luke’s arms. What was going on?

Then it all started coming
back to me and I smiled to myself as Luke stirred.

“You awake?” he mumbled in my
ear, his breath warm on my neck.

“Yeah. How did you sleep?”

I for one slept fabulously.

Luke stretched. “I slept
great. How about you?”

“Like a baby. Or not like a
baby. I slept good.”

“I’m glad.” Silence. “You
wanna have something to eat before you leave?”

“Sure,” I nodded, sitting up
and looking down at Luke, who still had his eyes closed.
Mmm, bed head.
Sexy.

“Or you could just lay back
down. We could do brunch instead,” Luke amended, seeking out my wrist to try
and pull me back down. Giggling, I stood up out of his reach.

“Up and at ‘em, lazy boy! I
have to get home.”

I finally managed to get Luke
up and into the house. While he washed his face, I quickly scrambled some eggs
which turned out to be-

“The best eggs I ever
tasted,” Luke proclaimed with his mouth full. “And I’m not just paying lip
service. I mean it.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

Luke didn’t do the limo
driver thing this time when he dropped me off. He borrowed Hope’s red Mustang
and parked right outside my building. It was just after 8am, so I figured it
would be alright. Nate woke up after 5pm on weekends, anyway. How wrong I was.

“Thanks for the sleepover,” I
smiled, hugging Luke and feeling my heart thump. When would this stop?
Not
for a long time, babe, so get used to it.

“No problem. We should do it
again sometime,” Luke murmured, kissing my cheek lightly and wrapping his arms
tightly around me.
I wish.

I stood outside the grimy
public housing building and watched Luke drive away. With a smile on my face, I
walked through the door of our building, my nostrils assailed by the smell of
urine, old sweat and must. Home sweet home.

My heart almost stopped in my
throat as a pair of hands shoved me in the back. I fell sprawling and landed on
my back against the door of the broken elevator. Nate moved out of the shadows,
sneering at me.

Oh, God, no.

“You think you’re smart,
don’t you?” he snarled, slowly moving towards me, even as I tried to figure
this one out.
What is he doing here awake?
Unless- he was just getting
in. And I could tell from the beery stench emanating from him that his night
had been as good as mine.