The Purloined Papers (28 page)

Andrew paced the room. “I know he’s your brother, Chloe, but he’s also a gamester. I doubt you understand how unscrupulous such men can be. It is like a sickness. Even those who try to stop find that they cannot. And when the inevitable losses pile up, they will commit any dishonor to cover their vowels. Offering your hand as a wager was not an isolated event. He might be glad that this debt is settled, and he might swear he’s learned his lesson. But when his back is against the wall, he will do it again. The only way to protect yourself is to wed me.”

“Not the only way,” she insisted. “Peter won’t know where to find me. By the time he runs through the money from Lord Grayson’s shipping venture, I will have disappeared.”

“He could lose it all tomorrow merely by pledging the shares, Chloe.”

“But he won’t. His burns have to be agonizing – I can’t believe how awful he looked tonight. And marriage may have been Ashley’s idea to prevent Peter from using those letters. Peter will pass at least a fortnight mired in guilt for what he tried to do. By then I will be gone.”

Andrew stifled the pain that choked him with each new objection. Granted, he hadn’t handled any of this with aplomb, thanks to Peter’s unexpected attack. But he hadn’t expected her to fight him. They were friends. She’d responded to his kisses. Marriage was the perfect answer – especially since he could finally support her in style. He’d meant to tell her about his change of fortune and begin a serious courtship. He’d hoped that she would admit that her love remained, so he could propose tonight. So why was she making it so difficult?

“Chloe—”  He stopped to steady his temper. “If you refuse marriage, everyone in the that ballroom will consider you a jilt. How long would that
on-dit
stay secret?  I doubt many mamas would want their daughters taking lessons from someone with a tarnished reputation.”

She blanched, but her jaw thrust out as it did whenever she tried to best one of the boys. “It doesn’t matter. I’ll change my name and claim to be a widow. I won’t force you into marriage.”

Andrew cursed. Life without Chloe stretched barrenly before him. But he refused to accept defeat. They could build a comfortable partnership even if she never returned his love. But he would never know a moment’s peace while she remained at Peter’s mercy. “You don’t understand, Chloe. Yes, widowhood would offer greater freedom, but it would also attract danger. Rakes and rogues expect a widow to be free with her favors, and often don’t care whether she is willing.”

“Wives have the same problem, particularly if their husbands are not in evidence,” she countered.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your leg is recovered, Andrew. Everyone knows it, including your regiment. They ordered you to India.”

“Where did you hear that?”

“Sally. It is common knowledge in the servants’ hall.”

“Ah. I’ve been too busy to discuss my decision with Jinks.”  He shook his head. “While it’s true that the regiment wants everyone back before leaving, I’m not going. I resigned my commission last week.”

“You can’t.”  She met his startled gaze. “Andrew, you cannot abandon your career just because you think Kevin wanted you to protect me.”

“I didn’t,” he protested, then snapped his mouth shut. Taking a deep breath, he softened his tone. “Sit down, Chloe. Peter’s announcement threw me off balance. I’ve made a worse hash of this than I thought. Let’s start over.”

“If it will bring you to your senses, then we should certainly start over.”  She settled into a chair.

He moved a second chair so he could face her. “Resigning was not a sudden decision. Nor does it have anything to do with you or Kevin. I would have sold out last winter if Napoleon hadn’t escaped. That’s when I began seriously considering the future. With Wellington in command, I could balance the horror of war with the knowledge that our cause was just, our leaders competent, and victory certain in the end. But the American campaign was put in the hands of an inept admiral who lacked Wellington’s high purpose, allowing a personal grievance to distort his thinking.”

“How?”

“The idiot bypassed military targets in favor of retaliation, sacrificing any hope of victory. The day we received orders to burn the American capital was the day I realized I could no longer remain at the mercy of people I could not respect. Wellington would never have been so stupid.”

“But surely the capital was a legitimate target,” she protested.

“No. It was a handful of buildings constructed in a swamp and of no military value at all. It made a powerful symbol, though. In fact, our actions that night united the American people as they had not been in the entire two years of that war. The debate had become so distracting that their army – if you could call it that – was no longer effective. But after we burned Washington, all argument ceased. Their determination to throw us out, when combined with their unorthodox fighting methods, made our defeat inevitable. I knew I must resign my commission. War had sucked out my soul, leaving only an empty shell behind.”  His sense of duty had prevented him from seeing so clearly at the time – he’d reacted with fury and curses rather than logical thinking – but he now recognized that fundamental change of heart.

“Yet you stayed to fight Napoleon.”

He nodded. “That fight was necessary. And it was unfinished business. We made a mistake after his abdication, offering mercy and expecting honor when he had shown neither toward any opponent. Now that he is truly gone, I can resign in good conscience. Your situation has nothing to do with the decision. I have thought deeply on this for months and mailed my resignation last week.”

She couldn’t stop joy from flooding her breast. Not that she could accept his offer, but at least he would no longer face danger. “What will you do now?”

“You needn’t fret. I can support you well enough.”

“I can support myself, sir.”

He doubted it, but this wasn’t the time to start a new argument. “That isn’t my point, Chloe.”

“Your point is that I should accept a statement you made in the heat of the moment, even though marriage would make us both miserable.”

“Chloe!”

“Be quiet. I listened to you. Now you can accord me the same courtesy.”

He nodded, though every instinct urged him to smother her words with kisses.
Miserable
, indeed. She melted every time he touched her. She’d clung to his side when Peter threatened her, and the welcome in her eyes had sent excitement clear to his toes.

But knowing her reasons might suggest a way to circumvent them. Wellington had often extolled the benefits of good intelligence. And Andrew was convinced she still cared.

She rose to pace the room. It was a habit dating to childhood and denoted how serious she was.

“Men seldom understand why they do things,” she said calmly, “which is why they so often regret decisions after the fact. Dozens of times I’ve watched Father and Peter lured into disaster because their opponents played on their weaknesses.”

“Not every man is as simpleminded as those two,” he snapped.

“I know. But we all have blind spots. For you it is Kevin.”  Her raised hand prevented a response. “You cannot deny you feel guilt over his death. You admitted it last Sunday. But you didn’t understand Kevin’s weaknesses. He was a considerate brother and a wonderful friend, but he was also cowardly and dangerously impetuous – as when he bought colors. Laura didn’t force him into the army. Weakness did. There were no witnesses that day. You and Father were the only others who knew what happened, and you knew only what he told you. Unless the incident was far more intimate than he claimed, there was no need to flee. All he had to do was stand up to her. If he’d looked her in the eye and promised to make her a laughingstock, she would have backed down.”

“You don’t understand how venal she can be,” said Andrew with a sigh.

“Don’t I?  I lived with her for two years, Andrew. Day and night, with few distractions and no one to stand as buffer between us. I know more about her misdeeds than anyone, for she often fell into tirades against those she blamed for her woes – especially in the early days. I can read the truth well enough. Frankly, if Kevin had had a backbone, he would have survived even her worst claims.”

“Why?  Laura held the entire county in the palm of her hand.”

“No. Laura
claimed
she held the county in her hand. And it’s true that some men treated her like a goddess, starting with your father. She had your family so dazzled by her beauty that you believed every word she said. But there were many, many men who saw her clearly. If she’d accused Kevin of seduction, others would have revealed how she’d thrown herself at them, then threatened them when they refused – footmen, grooms, two tenants, and at least one gentleman. And those are just the ones I can name who predate Kevin. There are certainly others. If Kevin had stood up to her, she would have been ruined. But he was weak, so he fled, placing an impossible burden on you in the process. For a supposedly brilliant man, he had no sense at all.”

“He never asked anything of me,” said Andrew stiffly.

“Of course not. But he told you what Laura did, knowing that you would feel responsible. Think back. How many times did you atone for your siblings’ mistakes – fixing Lord Rankin’s wall after William pulled out those stones, sitting up all night to nurse a barn cat after Laura made it sick, taking the blame after Thomas broke a window. Now that I know the real story, I can see Kevin’s thinking clearly enough. You had protected him from bullies at school. You’d rescued him when his horses bolted the year he was fourteen. You saved everyone harmed by your family. Is it any wonder that he expected you to keep him safe and prevent Laura from further scheming?  He probably thought you could arrange a London posting for him, but he knew nothing about the military.”

“He wasn’t that lacking.”  But her words revived memories he’d shoved aside – Kevin’s shock that his uniforms were plain green rather than the red encrusted with gold braid he’d seen in London, his ignorance about the duties of different regiments, his surprise when they were ordered to Portugal….

“It no longer matters,” said Chloe, recalling his attention. “My point is that Kevin made mistakes and paid for them with his life. But it wasn’t your fault. You owe him nothing, Andrew. If anything, he owes you for the guilt he hung around your neck.”

“Friends don’t keep score, Chloe,” he said, moving past her to stare out the window. “Friends don’t need to balance favors given and received. But we’ve moved far afield. I’m not as muddled as you believe. And you are not as clearheaded. In truth, Kevin is one of your blind spots, too. His precipitous departure hurt you so much that you see his ghost behind everything. But his death did not cast a spell over your family. Yes, your mother withdrew afterward, but she had never paid you much heed before. I remember her neglect well. And while your father’s bad investments may have become more noticeable, Kevin had mentioned unwise business ventures often. The effect on you was due more to his decreasing fortune than his increasing recklessness. As for Peter, he was fifteen when Kevin died, the age when many young men begin pursuing what are termed gentlemen’s pastimes. I suspect he would have lost his head over gaming even if he’d remained a younger son.”

“You can’t—”

“Kevin is gone, Chloe. Let him rest in peace. I don’t care a fig for Laura, so I have no need to atone for her crimes. Once Kevin bought colors – which he did without my knowledge – he was better off dying quickly. I will always miss him, but I’ve accepted that his death was inevitable. He chose to disobey my orders and paid the ultimate price for it. He’s not the first to panic in battle. Nor will he be the last.”

Her face relaxed.

“Any help I’ve offered to you has been my decision, made because I care. Is that clear?”

She nodded.

“Excellent. So let’s stop this sidetracking and address business. The world believes us betrothed, which is exactly the way it should be. And since I must be in London in a fortnight, it will be easier if we are wed before we leave.”

“Easier!  What on earth are you talking about?”

“I refuse to expose you to insults by traveling together unwed. And I won’t claim to be your brother. There are so many soldiers on the roads, I will likely run into someone I know. We’ll take Sally, of course.”

Chloe tried to catch her breath. Here was a side of Andrew she’d rarely seen, the officer accustomed to issuing orders. He showed none of the uncertainty and vacillation her father and brothers espoused. Nor did he discuss the situation with others. But she would not allow him to ride roughshod over her. “Stop. Why are you going to London?  You said you resigned your commission.”

He turned to face her. “I’d forgotten that you wouldn’t know. Too much has happened today.”

“On that we can agree.”

“Lord Grayson was impressed with some plans I drew for William and wants me to design a new manor for Rothmoor Park. His father is not expected to live out the year.”

“He wants you to design his house?”

“I turned him down. I’ve no training beyond a knack for architectural drawing, though I’ve picked up bits and pieces from the military engineers. But their jobs mostly involve destruction.”  He grinned. “I could undermine a wall or a bridge if I had to, but I can’t design a country seat for an earl.”

“I suspect you could build anything you set your mind to.”

“Thank you. I thought that was the end of it, but Gray is tenacious. Mary claims that he always gets what he wants, and so it proved this time. One of his couriers talked Soane into teaching me for six months. At the end of that time, I will design Gray’s new manor, then supervise its construction.”

“I’m happy for you,” she said, joining him at the window. “You will enjoy it so much more than war.”

“But only if you come with me, Chloe.”  He turned her face up so he could look into her eyes. “That’s the part that went missing when Peter showed up. I’d already planned to find a job near you, so I could court you properly. But plans are changing so fast that I had to ask for your hand tonight. You will marry me, won’t you?”