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Authors: Cecil Castellucci

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BOOK: The Queen of Cool
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Perla and I are sitting in the tent, flipping through magazines by the light of her Hello Kitty lantern. We’ve been having sleepovers in the backyard since we were twelve. That way her parents can’t eavesdrop on us.

We hear howling outside, quickly followed by laughing, which means the boys are here.

“Oh, please,” I say through the fabric of the tent. “That was the worst animal call ever.”

“Well, you would know. You work at the zoo,” Perla says. “I myself am scared it might be rabid coyotes.”

A hand starts to unzip the flap, and Kenji pokes his head inside.

“Yeah, you’re right, Perla. It
is
rabid coyotes,” I say.

“Are you ladies decent?” Kenji asks.

“Never,” I say.

He climbs inside the tent, followed by Mike Dutko, who is holding a six-pack of beer.

“I thought Sid was coming too,” Perla says.

“He’d just be a fifth wheel,” Kenji says. “If you know what I mean.” He crawls across the sleeping bags and flops his head on my lap. I know what he wants. I want it too.

“Come on,” I say, taking his hand. “Let’s go find some privacy.”

I pick up one of the sleeping bags and lead Kenji outside, leaving Mike Dutko and Perla wrestling each other out of their clothing inside the tent.

We spread the sleeping bag on the ground, and Kenji pulls me on top of him.

“Oh, yeah,” he says as I start kissing him and sliding my hands under his shirt. His chest is smooth. His skin warms my hands. We roll around for a little while, and when I find myself underneath him, I open my eyes and look up at the stars.

“What are you doing?” Kenji murmurs. “Don’t stop.”

“Do you think there is life on other planets?” I ask.

“What?” he says. He starts to unbutton my jeans. But he cannot distract me from the universe stretched out above me.

“Life on other planets. I mean look at all those stars.”

Kenji gives up. He sighs, then rolls onto his back and looks up at the sky with me.

“Yeah, I guess, maybe there’s something out there,” he says, then adds in an alien voice,
“We are not alone.”

“Did you ever wonder what they might look like?”

“No,” he says.

“Did you know that there are people whose job it is to think about what they might look like?”

“No shit?”

We lie there for a while, my head on his chest. He puts his arm around me as he relaxes into looking up at the night sky.

Then his cell phone rings. I feel his voice through his chest as he speaks.

“Hey, there’s a party over at Jakob’s. You want to head over there?”

I look back over at the tent, which is now dark.

“I have to be at the zoo at eight-thirty tomorrow morning.”

“It’s
vacation week,
” Kenji says. “Don’t be a pussy.”

“Okay,” I say.

I don’t really want to go to Jakob’s, knowing that I’ll crawl home at the crack of dawn and the zoo will smell even worse with a hangover. But I don’t want to be a pussy.

“I’ll go, but I won’t really drink,” I add.

“Good, then you can drive.”

Jakob’s house is a scene. The mash-up music, bass turned up to ten, shakes me down to my bones. As soon as we get there, I already want to leave. Maybe even run. I don’t care where or what direction.

“I’ll go get us drinks,” Kenji says, and he makes his way down the crowded hallway, saying hellos to everybody who’s anybody.

There are so many people that I feel like I am being squeezed. I make my way over to the couch that has been cleared from the center of the living room to make room for dancing.

If Perla were here, I might go over there and dirty dance. Instead, I sit on the couch next to a couple that is making out.

Kenji finds me and presses a soda into my hand.

“This is great!” he says. “I’m going to go out back to play darts.”

“Okay,” I say. The can is sweaty. I start playing with the pull tab.

He kisses me and then disappears again.
He
is having fun. Everyone’s having fun. So I force myself to stay.

I turn my attention back to the scenes playing out in front of me. I’m in observation mode.

2:05 a.m.
Girls, half dressed, half drunk, writhing like they are in some kind of harem. They reach out, trying to entice observer to dance.
2:14
Guy on couch throws one leg over girl he is kissing, trying to rub her as much as he can.
2:34
Bunch of guys gathers around alpha male in the corner. Safety in numbers.
2:37
Alpha male chugs beer.
3:01
Girl and guy leave couch and enter bedroom.
3:23
While obtaining glass of water, observer discovers puke in kitchen sink.
4:12
Second wave of kids arrives from other party.

I leave the party at six a.m but instead of heading home, I go to Fred 62 and get myself some breakfast. Then I head to the zoo.

I need something new to observe.

I walk up to the main gate. The zoo is closed, and no one is around. I head over to the employee-only entrance, but before I get there, a security guard drives up in his little golf cart.

“Can I help you, Miss?” he asks.

“I volunteer at the zoo,” I say.

“Zoo’s closed now,” he says.

I fumble in my wallet and show him my L.A. Zoo Volunteer ID.

“I was wondering if I could see the elephants. Toby said they walk them at around seven a.m.”

The security guard looks at my ID, then takes his walkie-talkie from his belt loop and talks into it. He gets a garbled response.

“Okay.” He looks at me. “Hop in. I’ll take you up there.”

Toby meets me outside the elephant pens.

“Libby. Well,
this
is a surprise.”

He looks at me the same way that I see him looking at the elephants when he’s inspecting them from behind the safety guard. He doesn’t seem to find anything wrong with me.

“Just stay out of the way,” he tells me as he leads out the elephants. One follows the other, just as I follow Toby. The elephants walk steadily and slowly, heads bobbing up and down, as we pass the other animals. It’s as though they’re saying good morning.

I feel small next to their gray greatness.

Later that day, Sheldon, Tiny, and I are standing in line to have our pictures taken with the reindeer and Santa Claus at the zoo. We are done working for the day, and Tiny thought it might be fun, since this is the day before the day before Christmas.

“This is retarded,” I say.

I am trying to be a good Blue Team member, but the lack of sleep and superearly arrival at the zoo make it painful.

“How is this more retarded than Pencil Day?” Tiny asks. “And by the way, you shouldn’t use the word
retarded.


I
came up with Pencil Day,” I say. “And it certainly didn’t involve kids pissing their pants everywhere.”

“What’s Pencil Day?” Sheldon asks, but we don’t answer because a kid in line behind us starts pointing and yelling.

“Mommy, look! A real elf!” the kid says.

The smile on Tiny’s face disappears. Sheldon becomes very stiff, and the red creeps up his neck and onto his face. The kid is pointing at Tiny.

“I want to meet the elf! I want to meet the elf!” the kid yells.

At first, no one does anything, not even the mom. Everyone just stands around awkwardly, pretending they can’t hear him. Everyone except me. I lean down so I’m face to face with the kid.


Those
are the elves,” I say, pointing to the people in the elf costumes taking pictures of the kids with Santa and his reindeer.

“She’s a
person,
” I inform the kid, pointing at Tiny.

“Oh,” he says. He now points over in the right area. “Those are the elves.”

“You made a mistake,” I say.

“Mommy, Mommy, I want to meet the elves!” he shouts, tugging at her sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” the mom says to Tiny.

“Happens all the time,” Tiny says, like it doesn’t matter. She’s used to it. But I can tell that it bothers her.

I have a big mouth, and today I have no patience, and although Tiny probably always just lets it slide, I can’t. It bothers
me.

“You’re an asshole for letting your kid say that,” I say.

Now the mom’s hands slip over her kid’s ears. She apologizes again. She’s upset now. Good. She leans down to her kid, and I hear her finally doing her job, explaining about how there are different types of people in the world.

“You don’t need to speak for me, you know,” Tiny says. “I can take care of myself.”

I don’t know what to say.

Finally, it’s our turn to go through the gate. I can see that the holiday spirit has fled from the typically perky Tiny. The fun has been sucked right out of her. I know what I need to do.

“Come on, Blue Team! I declare it Reindeer Day!” I say.

I pull one of the reindeer headbands from the costume peg, put it on my head, and strike a reindeer pose.

Sheldon steers Tiny through the gate, and they take some reindeer antlers and put them on their heads as well.

We gather around Santa and the real reindeer and start to pose when I get another idea.

“Wait! Hold the picture!” I say. I grab my bag and dig around until I pull out my fire-engine red lipstick and a mirror. I smear red all over my nose.

I hear the kids in the line get all excited. They jump up and down.

“Look, Mommy,” one kid starts yelling. “It’s Rudolph!”

The first order of business this Christmas morning is a heavy dose of caffeine. I know it’s time to wake up when I hear the sound of the espresso machine.

“Merry Christmas!” Dad says.

I grunt in reply, sticking my arms out in front of me like a sleep zombie. He puts a mug of steaming latte in my hands.

“Go wake up your mom so we can eat breakfast and open presents,” Dad says.

Christmas has always been Mom’s favorite holiday. But this year Dad’s the one with more spirit. He’s flipping flapjacks and cooking eggs. He’s got an apron on that says,
I’m the Frog Prince.
And I think he means it.

The latte begins working its caffeinated magic as I go to the kitchen door and lean my head around into the hallway.

“Mom!!!!!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!” I yell.

Dad laughs. He’s just tickled pink by everything lately.

The yelling has done its trick. Mom makes her way into the kitchen to join us.

“Let’s make this quick. I’ve got plans,” I say.

“Where’s your Christmas spirit, Libby?” Mom says, even though she barely has any herself this year.

“Let’s just call her
The Grinch,
” Dad says. He still thinks he’s being funny, even though Mom and I aren’t laughing.

“Come on,” Dad says, making the first move to the living room. He actually seems kind of excited as we all stare at the tree and the visibly-fewer-than-usual presents under it.

“I’ll go first,” I say, breaking the silence in the room. I give my parents their presents: Chinese slippers, a crepe pan, some tennis balls, and a tennis skirt for Mom. A leather wallet and zoo passes for Dad.

My stocking is stuffed with bath stuff, lipstick, an orange, some gum that looks like a lump of coal, and, as a joke, some of those low-carb chocolate bars Dad was writing about before he quit.

BOOK: The Queen of Cool
12.81Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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