The Queen Revealed (10 page)

She promised herself she would stop when Rainere asked her to. But his gasp of complaint came too soon.

She pushed deeper inside him and promised herself she would stop when he said “enough”, but he had to
really
mean it. But his pleading moans were too soft to hear.

Adele promised herself she would absolutely stop when Rainere cried, and then groaned in frustration when his sobs rattled through her.

Steeling herself to pull away was harder than she thought. She had to disentangle the strands of Magic that she had bound so tightly through him, retracting them back to her core and trying to calm the excited chanting of the Chime Voices.

Adele felt drunk and unfocused as the world rushed back in and she pushed herself off Rainere’s body. The dim light of the steamy room outlined only the shapes of things around them. She was too hot and fought for a breath, trying to gasp air back into her lungs. It was a long moment before she thought to turn and look at Rainere.

The Prince lay on the chaise longue, his arms hanging limply by his sides, and his eyes staring up at the ceiling. He only moaned softly when Adele shook his shoulder and kissed his cheek.

“Rainere!” Adele choked on her rough throat. “Rainere, are you alright? Darling, say something.”

Guilt swept through Adele in a horrible black wave. She had hurt him, really hurt him! Rainere could barely move. She had taken more from him than he could give and now he was broken.

“I’m a monster,” she whispered to Rainere. “Darling, please forgive me. I’m so, so sorry I hurt you!”

Rainere moaned again but his eyes became more focused and he managed to push himself up to sit. He rubbed his hands over his face and pulled his knees up to his chest, hesitantly, as if it pained him, and rested for a moment.

Adele swept his long hair off his face and gathered it at his shoulder. She stroked her hand over the expanse of his well-muscled back and watched the ripple of the jet-black tattoo engraved on the skin there. Even weak he was so beautiful. Adele mentally slapped herself at the warmth that sprung between her legs again at the sight of his skin. She put her arm around Rainere’s shoulders and hugged him, whispering her apology a hundred times. It took another minute before Rainere roused himself enough to pull his legs off the chaise and plant them on the floor. He didn’t speak, but he grabbed Adele’s hand as it stroked his arm. She looked into his eyes and saw the silver rings around his pupils were tarnished now, slowly spinning in lazy circles. She gave a little sob and touched his cheek, only realizing after a moment that Rainere was leaning into her hand.

“Darling...” she wept, but had no words to express her guilt.

“Don’t… don’t cry,
cara mia
.” His voice creaked like an old man’s. “I saw
her
… I saw the Goddess in you, my
cara mia
. She is in you; she craves…”

Rainere drifted off, eyes closed, as a dreamy smile floated across his lips. When he opened them again, they were clearer.

“I love you, Adelena, so much,” - he wouldn’t let her interrupt - “What you showed me tonight proved we are Fated. We will be forever together, entwined and bound in the arms of the Goddess Serena. Tell me you saw that, too, my beloved?”

Adele looked into Rainere’s dark green eyes and saw the bloodshot veins staining the whites. The shadows beneath his eyes seemed deeper, spread further, but his hand gripped hers with strength and the look he gave her was fired with the light of the fevered. She swallowed and remembered the hunger that had consumed her, the taste of the cold, green of Rainere’s essence as it slid into her own soul. She didn’t know how or why she had done it, but she hadn’t felt any ethereal presence and the guilt that weighed on her now was a clear sign her feeding had not been sanctioned by any deity she knew of. Rainere’s smile broke her heart, as he wiped away the tears that leaked from her eyes and put them to his lips.

“Don’t think of the pain, Adelena, think of the power you showed us both. It was a gift,” he pulled himself to his feet and staggered a little. “Nothing we have done before has ever been like that.”

Adele sat silently as she watched her six-foot-four, muscle-bound Prince limp to the secret doorway. He held his ribs with a hand, and reached out to hold the wall with the other when he turned back to blow her a kiss.

Adele stifled a sob then leaped out of her skin when the doorknob rattled at the bathroom door, followed by a quiet knock.

“Err, beg pardon, Your Majesty, but the door seems to be locked. Can I get help you get ready for bed?” asked Seraphina, barely audible over the noise of the shower.

Adele swore quietly, but when she looked back Rainere had gone, the secret door clicking shut behind him.

She remained sitting on the couch. The sweat had dried on her skin, but her hair still dripped in a steady patter of drops on the silk couch behind her. Adele looked down at her hands, hands that had vibrated with so much power tonight, the same hands that had betrayed Rainere. Despite what he thought Adele could not think of what she had done to Rainere as a good thing. Good things don’t cause so much pain do they? She wrapped herself in a cotton towel.

“Your Majesty? Are you alright?” Seraphina sounded worried. No doubt Ohrig had given them instructions to not let her out of their sight for too long.

Adele took a deep breath and shoved away the knowledge of what she had just done to Rainere so she could pretend to be normal. She thought grimly that Ohrig might have the wrong Royal to watch. Rainere wasn’t the monster… she was.

“I’m fine,” she said out loud and walked over to unlock the door, surprised at her steady voice. “Everything is fine.”

Chapter Fifteen

“When Love Does Not Stay Behind”

Adele had spent a long night waiting for Dawn to come quickly, but it stayed resolutely dark until the proper time. Eventually, though, the grey light turned brighter, and the birds started their morning songs.

All night she had tried to examine what it was that had happened to her, and what it was exactly that she had done to Rainere. The experience of, for lack of a better word, ‘feeding’ on Rainere had been nothing like the sensation she had had when she killed the Mage in the Holy Place of Sandar. That had been a horrible, violent stabbing of power. The Word of Command that killed the Mage had shredded her throat to ribbons. But last night, with Rainere, the Commands had been whisperings of soft, sweet poetry and the sensation had been overpowering, but exquisite. Other than the guilt that sat like rocks in the bottom of her gut, Adele felt strong, rested and full of energy. But that only confirmed it for her: she had
taken
something from Rainere, and by the looks of him after they had finished, she had given him nothing back. Then why had he been so happy?

Adele shook her head. It was no use. She cleared last night from her mind and smiled at the little ones around her, as they roused themselves to whisper and cuddle into her. She wasn’t a complete monster if she could make children this angelic, surely?

It suddenly struck Adele that she had never heard birds singing in the morning yesterday. She climbed out of bed and went to the window.  The trees of the Dark Forest sparkled like Christmas decorations in the morning light.

The storm had broken.

Adele threw a robe over her nightdress and left the bedroom with all three of her children in tow. Caitlin and Seraphina were already dressed and waiting outside the bedroom door.

As Adele entered the sitting room she saw the General with Captain Lucky and QG Owens talking to a man she had not seen before. He was wearing riding livery and his coat carried an insignia of what looked like a wolf in the colors of bright green and brown. A messenger from Belvoir was already here?

“So if we leave within the hour we can be there by nightfall?” Ohrig was asking.

“Yes, General.” The young man nodded, but his eyes skipped over to Adele still standing at the door and holding her robe closed with both hands.

The messenger stepped towards her and bowed immediately. “Your Majesty, Queen Adelena, I bring greetings from Prince Bertrand II of Belvoir. We have been searching for you and your party ever since the St. Lucidis messenger arrived at Belvoir Estate yesterday morning. Thank the Goddess you found shelter from the storm.”

The messenger’s voice had a deep and pleasant timbre. He had pushed his hat to the side as he spoke and Adele saw dark curls hidden beneath it. She approached to take the scroll he offered her.

“It’s an invitation from Prince Bertrand II of Belvoir, Your Majesty,” said the messenger needlessly as Adele broke the seal and unrolled it anyway. “You are welcome to the Estate at your earliest convenience but as the Carnival starts tomorrow I would advise that we leave today to make it back in time.”

“Is that right?” asked Adele, her tone sharp as her stomach dropped away and she pretended to read the scroll in her hands. She didn’t want to leave Rainere today after what had happened last night. She had to know that he was alright first and make it better.

Adele looked up as she realized a silence had fallen over the group. The Belvoir messenger looked stricken, terrified he might have offended her. Adele noticed his eyes were a light sea-green and his lashes were long and dark.

“I’m sure no disrespect was intended, Your Majesty, it is wise advice,” said Ohrig with a frown at the same time that the messenger blurted out an apology.

Adele folded the letter, and pulled the sash on her robe tighter as she gave Ohrig a cold glance. There he was, telling her what to do again and scolding her in front of a room full of people. His attitude was really getting irritating.

“I know what you meant, no apology necessary…um, what’s your name?” said Adele and noted the messenger’s blushing cheeks.

“My name is Benjamin, Your Majesty.”

He couldn’t have been more than his early twenties, maybe not even that old. Her body responded to his shy smile and she almost blushed herself as a surge of warmth swept through her.

Stop it right now!
Adele admonished herself.
He’s just a boy, not Rainere, for God’s sake.

She looked away from Benjamin’s pretty sea-green eyes and over to Tilburn who entered the room dragging a heavy trunk behind him. “How long will it take us to get ready to leave, Tilburn?”

Tilburn dropped his trunk with a loud thud and approached Adele wearing a beaming grin. “Well, I’m already packed so I should say an hour at the most, Your Majesty.” He rubbed his hands together in satisfaction. “I’ve already been down to the stables to ask the drivers to prepare the carriages. We will just load them and be out of here by the time the Royal Family has finished breakfast.”

“Oh, that quickly? Wonderful,” said Adele and bit her bottom lip to hide its quiver. That left her no time at all to see Rainere. She turned her back so no one could see her disappointment and sat down at the table with the children.

She didn’t even hear the knock at the door, but Tilburn skipped off to answer it with a bright “Coming!” Two miserable looking Marchant servants entered the apartment pushing squeaking trolleys covered in hot breakfast dishes, which they arranged on the dining table to the delight of the hungry children.

Adele didn’t realize that Grotto had followed the servants into the apartment until she heard Tilburn imperiously informing the manservant that he was to tell Prince Rainere that the Royal Family was leaving within the hour.

Grotto turned his piercing eyes on Adele and gave her such a loaded look he might as well have said what he was really thinking as it was so plain in his expression. “I shall inform His Highness that the Queen wishes to leave the Grey Palace immediately, and refuses any further hospitality he could extend to her.”

Adele paled. Grotto was being so awful when he knew she couldn’t say a thing to defend herself. Leaving hurt her as much as it did Rainere.

“Err, quite right!” replied Tilburn wishing to cause as much as offence as he politely could. “The Prince can meet us at the gates for a farewell, or not, if he has business elsewhere, of course. I’m sure we have taken up enough of his time.”

Grotto turned his poisonous gaze on the little Majordomo and remained silent for a moment longer than was necessary, allowing the intensity of his loathing to be felt by everyone in the room.

“
His. Highness
,” enunciated Grotto through clenched teeth. “Will do as he sees fit and accord the occasion exactly the time it deserves. I shall let you know his will before you leave.”

With that, after giving Adele the shallowest of all bows, he spun on his heel and left, slamming the door loudly behind himself, as was his way.

“Ugh!” Tilburn shook himself. “I’m sure that man has Magic in his eyes. Such a troubled soul I have never met before.”

“Was that Grottonski, the Prince’s man?” asked the Belvoir messenger with wide eyes. “He looks just as ferocious as he is described in the stories we have at home.”

“You don’t know the half of it, Benjamin,” replied Tilburn snippily. “Now I’ve no more time for you to stand about gossiping, you’ll need to help us get ready to leave this morning.”

Adele turned back to her children and picked a boiled egg from the plate before her, though she didn’t want to eat it as her stomach felt full of sawdust.

“What was that Tilburn said, Mummy?” asked Natalie, giving her mother a hard look. “We aren’t leaving, are we?”

Caught up in her own sadness, Adele hadn’t thought how the children might react to leaving the Grey Palace with such short notice, but she was shocked by the height of hysteria that followed her announcement. Natalie burst into howling tears and screeched to be allowed to stay, while Aaron cried and threatened to hide himself where no one could find him. The Prince had promised to show Aaron the dungeons today and her son was desperate to see them. Poor little Stella didn’t understand the reason behind it, but cried in sympathy with her big brother and sister.

“You can’t make me go!” shrieked Natalie and dashed from the table. Adele heard Caitlin squawk in surprise from the next room. “Princess you can’t pull all that out, I’ve just packed it!”

Adele sighed, but was at a loss at what to do. Her children’s grief mirrored her own. She couldn’t believe that she and Rainere could be separated so easily from each other by circumstance. A hundred times she wanted to call out. “Stop packing, we will stay here instead!” But a hundred times commonsense stopped her. It was just too dangerous for anyone to know about their relationship.

Natalie stalked back into the room, ignoring the nanny who hovered nervously behind her and with all the dignity she could muster announced:

“If you are going to make me leave, then I am going to make the Prince a present.” She wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. “And it’s going to be something really, really special, so he knows that I will miss him. I will need a pencil and paper and other stuff.” Natalie swept out again but Adele waved Caitlin to leave her daughter alone. Natalie needed time to cool down. Seraphina managed to convince Aaron and Stella to come outside on the terrace to play with their puppies, which always cheered them up.

Adele got herself a cup of tea and dropped her chin to her hand as she poured it. She tried not to look as dejected as she felt but it was too hard.

“The little ones seem sad to leave the Grey Palace, Your Majesty,” said Benjamin cheerfully as he edged his way over to her, earning himself a sharp glance from Adele. She took a sip of tea instead of biting off the sarcastic remark that was on the tip of her tongue.

Calm down,
she told herself again. She needed to be kinder. The boy was obviously excited to be in the legendary Grey Palace, where no Belvoir had stood for generations, and by the look of his shy smile and shining eyes he was pretty excited to meet her too.

Adele stifled a sigh. Everyone was excited to meet her at first, just before they started telling her what to do. “Benjamin, will you be riding with us back to the Belvoir Estate?” she asked, forcing her tone to be pleasant.

“Absolutely. Yes. I, yes, will be coming with you, Your Majesty!” stammered Benjamin, his cheeks going even pinker. “I promised to show the boys… um… your Queen’s Guard the best road through the forest. It’s very easy to get lost if you don’t know the way.”

“Well, it will certainly be good to have someone who has experience to show us the way to Belvoir this time,” replied Adele in a voice she was sure would carry over to Ohrig, where he was organizing trunks with the other QG. “God knows we could have done with some proper directions two days ago.”

She glanced over at Ohrig and smiled with satisfaction when she saw that he had stopped talking and was shaking his head. He sent her a small grin and tipped his head at her, acknowledging her needling, and just like that the invisible tension between the two of them dissipated. Smothering his smile Ohrig turned back to Captain Lucky and Adele returned her gaze to Benjamin and saw that he was beaming with pleasure at her compliments.

“Your Majesty’s faith in me is an honor,” he said proudly and swept into a deep bow. His hat fell off and black curls spilled over his forehead. Grinning in embarrassment Benjamin picked it up and jammed it back on his head, pushing the curls into his eyes.

Adele gave him a smile. He really was very charming.

“You, boy! Belvoir Benjamin!” shouted Tilburn from the door. “If Her Majesty is finished with you, you must help take these trunks down to the carriages. I’m not waiting for those good-for-nothing Marchant footmen to help us. Such a sorry lot they are…”

Benjamin looked expectantly at Adele, and perhaps a little too eagerly as his eyes flashed to the front of her exposed nightgown before returning to her face.

“You had better do as he says,” said Adele. “He’ll only get louder and more insulting if you don’t.”

“Your Majesty, I’m at your service.” Benjamin bowed a little less extravagantly this time and gave her a wide smile and the tiniest of winks.

Adele upgraded Benjamin from ‘very charming’ to ‘incorrigible flirt’ and instantly felt less special. If she had been in a better mood, she might have been amused by the sharp word that Captain Lucky gave the messenger as Benjamin joined the other QGs. The Captain’s look said, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Don’t flirt with our Queen!” And Benjamin’s nonchalant shrug and grin said, “Hey, just because you boys aren’t up for it, don’t blame me for trying,” earning himself a clip over the ear from QG Owens. It was sweet how her Queen’s Guard protected her virtue. Sweet, but unnecessary, as her virtue had long since been given to Rainere.

Adele pushed back her chair and headed out of the room to get changed, and prepare herself to do the one thing she wanted to least of all.

She was leaving Rainere yet again.