The Quest (16 page)

              The morning rose while we were still wrapped together tight within each other’s arms. The last thing I remembered was my head resting on his torso and his body limp beneath me. I woke up alone and without him. I rolled out of bed slow and steady making my way into the kitchen. I found him sitting at the bar coffee in hand, one hand on the paper, and bacon cooking on the stove. He looked up when I walked in.

              “Good Morning, darling,” I said. Unsure if he even remembered last night.

              “Morning. Hey about last night…”

              “What about it?”

              “Nothing.”

              “It’s okay.” I moved closer to him lifting his chin. “Really, it’s okay. I’m not sure what it is or what it means, but hey, you desiring me in the middle of the night I can deal with. I love it when you love on me.”

              He pulled me to him straddling me between his legs, my hands upon his knees, hugging me close. “How come I don’t know it’s happening?”

              “I dunno. Would you like me to start waking you each time? I mean I’d rather let you sleep. You’re much more fun when you’re not awake!” I laughed to lighten his mood.

              “What? Yes, please wake me. I at least want to know what you’re enjoying!”

              “All right you got it!” I kissed him on the forehead then moved to go turn the bacon. He’s good at making breakfast but he was distracted this morning so I figured I would finish for him.

              “You better!” He smiled. He was back. All handsome sleepy eyed and needing to shave. I didn’t care. I loved his ruggedness. He was amazingly sexy.

              “By the way, did I enjoy it too?”

              “I don’t know, I was too busy enjoying myself!” he threw a towel at me.

Broken Silence

I
didn’t see Denver for a while after that day. It must have really bothered him that he has sex in his sleep and he doesn’t remember any of it. And he probably figured the only way to stop it was not to see me. Well, that’s one way, but another way would be to deal with it while he is with me. I didn’t mind that he did those things to me unknowingly. I loved it! Sure I lost sleep those nights, but hey, his desire was spelled out in ways unimaginable. I missed him badly. I wanted to see him. I begged him to come over. Or go to dinner, lunch, anything just to be near him.

              But a week passed by with no visit from Denver, then two weeks. Then one day he sent me a text saying he really missed me and we needed to talk. At this point I was angry. I didn’t want to see him, so I told him no. He pleaded saying he was wrong and would make it up to me. He thought he was a freak for doing those things to me. He thought if he went to a Doctor they could tell him why he’s doing those things. Of course, they had no answers for him or cure for it. They called him a Sexsomniac. It made no sense to the doctors because normally when you're a sleep walker you have no libido. But he had an overly active sex drive, one they couldn’t explain and figured it was played out in his daily life with someone he really liked but couldn’t get satisfied enough, therefore subconsciously needing to satisfy his craving more while he slept. He said he had joined a support group online to help ease his mind. He did mention the group was small and this condition was very rare. Okay, that explanation won me over. I had a handsome man who wanted me with an overactive sex drive. Hmm…who was I to deny him? I agreed to go see him at his place.

              I arrived nervous, I don’t know why, he had always made me feel at ease, but this news of his condition had me questioning things now. He opened the door with a smile, opened his arms to hug me, and held me tight telling me how much he missed me. I obliged and repeated his words. I missed him too. It felt good to hold him. I was afraid I’d never get that opportunity again.

              He took my hand and led me to the couch, asking on the way if I wanted something to drink. I declined. We sat on the couch side by side in silence staring into nowhere at first. My legs were folded underneath me, my body turned toward his. He pulled one of my legs out from underneath me and placed it across his lap. He began rubbing my thigh with his bare hands. I’ve always loved his massages. His hands were so magical.

              He leaned over and kissed me gently now with his hand upon my head gently guiding me closer into him. His kiss was asking for forgiveness, not strong and rough. But tender and caring so I moved closer… then closer. Before long his strong arms maneuvered my tiny frame until I was sitting on his lap, straddling the man I admired. I could feel his hands caressing my back and his manhood rubbing me through his shorts beneath my skirt. I knew it needed freedom but I wasn’t sure if he wanted to go there just yet. I knew he had issues he was dealing with and I wasn’t sure just how to help him yet. Was it okay to jump back into action so soon? Should I give him time to learn to control his desires? We needed desperately to talk. I could tell he had no control over his manhood and was making it clear what he needed at the moment.

              It felt good to be wanted by Denver. It was a feeling I longed for. And I knew we had more in common than sex. It was just the sex was amazing and just like him I craved it too. I think there were times I craved it more than he did but his wee hour morning escapades always made him the big winner. I got more than I bargained for with Denver. I got the whole package and a large package at that. He was all that he said he was and he was a good man. A good man with a really quirky condition.

              He stopped kissing me and stared into my eyes.

              “What’s wrong?” I asked.

              “Nothing,” he whispered.

              “Anything I can do?”

              “You’re already doing it.”

              “Hmm…well…anything you want, just say it. I’m here for you.”

              “Anything?”

              “Of course. Anything…” I kissed his right cheek still feeling the motion of his manhood beckoning beneath me. “Anything you want,” I added kissing his left cheek moving my hips now in tune with what his manhood wanted. I wanted it too. I had missed him badly.

              “Okay. You.
”

              “What? Me? I’m already here. You’ve got me.”

              “All of you. I want you. Just you. Only you.”

              “Okay. Not sure what you mean by that but…”

              “Exclusive,” he interrupted.

              “Wait as in girlfriend exclusive?”

              “Yes! As in girlfriend exclusive! All I want is you!”

              “Oh, I thought you were talking about sex!” I winked.

              “Only with you,” he added with a kiss gently on my lips. This was huge. His time away from me really had him thinking. Now here he was beneath me sealing the deal of our relationship. “What do you say?”

              I was in total agreement with his deal. The thought of him with someone else was disturbing to me. I wanted our love to be exclusive but I wasn’t going to be the one to ask. Ever since the day he sent me that first hello on that dating site I was hooked. I wasn't interested in any other man. I guided his hand between my legs as I straddled him wider, rising up off his lap to give him room to explore. I know. I have those moments that are called for being naughty. This was one of them. I needed him to know I was a freak too. A freak that craved him 24/7. And it didn’t matter to me that he had a condition called Sexsomniac, I was here for him. Embracing it. Enjoying it. Loving it. So yes I opted to arrive panty-less and surprise him, just in case the mood hit him.

              “Seriously?
”
He lifted my skirt ducking his head underneath and came up grinning. “Girl, where are your panties?” His deep voice canted.

              “Lost them.
”
I winked.

              “You’re such a freak!”

              “I know and I love that about you!” I canted back.

              His fingers were amazing but I wanted more so I set his begging manhood free. Just as the butterflies began their dance, I agreed to be exclusive. Exclusive. I liked that he used that word. I loved the feeling of belonging it gave me too. When he held me, I knew it was the right choice. Knowing it was his idea and not mine to take our relationship to this level, made it that much more meaningful to me.

              The overnight hours were uneventful though no sleepwalk sex with Denver. He actually slept soundly and peacefully all through the night. I awoke several times waiting for it. I watched him intently wondering if he did those things due to the anxiety of being with me. Was it a fear of losing me? Could it have been that now his heart knew I was his, he didn’t need to over control that situation? I wondered as I watched him all the while hoping he would stir, move, or sleepwalk again.

              The next morning he awoke fresh and happy. I was in the kitchen making breakfast when he walked in. He stood behind me hugging me hello. His hands quickly slid under his blue shirt that I was wearing, awakening the girls that lay dormant under there. I think they were a little disappointed there was no action last night too. They love the feel of his hands.

              But he only spent a moment teasing them before he moved south slipping his hand between my legs to feel my bare skin. Quickly he found a sweet spot he could reckon with. With both hands exploring below, his lips moved to my neck kissing me, blowing my hair out of his way. His breath made me tremble and lean back into him, hungrily greeting his lips with mine as I stood on my tiptoes to reach him. He’s a good foot taller than I am with a massive amount of muscle. I loved his overpowering frame. I loved his gentle giant nature. I turned to face him and he quickly sat me up on the counter. I knew he wasn’t through. I knew he was through teasing, though. He didn’t get any sex in his sleep, so it was evident he needed it now, and ready to get down to business.

              “Wait…first…”

              “Shhh…” He placed his finger over my lips then released his manhood from his white Pajama pants. I hated to interrupt him.

              “The bacon… It’ll burn if…”

              “Oh… don’t move… I got it!” He pulled the pan off the burner and turned the burner off. “We can eat bacon later. Right now all I’m hungry for is you!”

              He had that look on his face. The look I’d see in the middle of the night. For a moment, I could swear he was sleep walking but he wasn’t or he would have never turned off the bacon right? He made his way quickly back between my legs and cleared the counter for my comfort. I figured he would carry me back into the bedroom but no he had other plans. He unbuttoned his shirt that I was wearing one by one kissing the exposed areas as he made his way up to my lips. He stopped for a brief moment breathing life into my anxiously awaiting body. He slid his shirt off my shoulders, tossed it aside. I followed his lead leaning back onto my elbows, then onto my back, exposing myself, giving him a palate of nakedness to enjoy.

              I watched his hands glide over me, enjoying the touch of his fingertips, whispering what I wanted from him. Of course, he knew what I wanted most. But he took his time teasing me. His lips were tender at first but they didn’t stay that way long. He was right about one thing. He was hungry. But so was I. Especially after he took me to the edge of desperation, left me hanging in the middle, and then dropping me breathless. It was his way of showing he was in full control and fully awake. Of course, it sucked the breath out of me every time he would approach me with vigor then halt in the height of it all. He enjoyed watching me tremble and squirm beneath the breath of his kiss.

              It drove me crazy, but I eventually got what I wanted. I loved that about Denver. I liked the playful Denver. The sexy give it to me now Denver. I loved the way he wasn’t afraid to share with me his desires, act out his fantasies, share his thoughts, his feelings, or his fears. He wasn’t ashamed to call me his girlfriend now too and was bold enough to ask me to be his knowing I had non-trusting commitment issues. Knowing, I had been broken and put back together with double sided duct tape. He was kind enough to give me space to get to know him first, grow to love and desire him. And that I did.

              We still had those moments of his Sexsomniac when he’d awaken me in the wee hours of the morning. But those were few and far between. But when they arrived I celebrated. As I promised, I’d awaken him, but only after I enjoyed a little of his reckless wrath. The sleepwalker Denver was a powerful lover unlike any other imaginable.             

              Wait…did I say love? I mean ‘like’ very much. I’m not falling in love. No, not this time. I’ve been there done that, got the dress somewhere stuffed in a closet in my apartment. And that’s another thing… I will never go wedding dress shopping again! I refuse to! You could say the whole idea makes me a little crazy when I think about it. And that lonely beautiful dress, I have plans to donate it to some poor chick that can’t afford one. So as soon as I find her… it’s gone out of my life too.

              Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against marriage, just against marriage for me. I had put so much stock into the idea that one should be married. That to have a meaningful relationship you had to seal the deal with vows, but now I realize, I had put so much stock into getting married that I didn’t see the big picture. I know now I can love someone and they can love me, have a commitment to someone and they to me; be with someone day in and day out without having to be married to them. Our bond of togetherness is sealed by words and actions toward one another, not by a piece of paper that would be a wedge between us. Besides, I’m not destroying my heart again for another man to get cold feet and walk out on me. So from this day forward, if I find someone to love, its love me forever and I will reciprocate. Yes, I am the reciprocating girl now!

              Denver and I talked about this once. His idea of a relationship was the same. He wanted someone he could grow old with, someone that understood him, someone he couldn’t wait to get home to. But he didn’t want to get married. He said he could get used to me. Funny thing, I already was used to him. Dangerous thing though because I fall fast and hard, but yet I remain guarded. Don’t ask me how I just know I have these moments when I surround my heart in bubble wrap and no one’s allowed to pop the bubbles. No not even loving sexy, handsome, sexsomniac Denver.

              Those are my “leave me alone moments” and “let me get lost in myself” or “do some retail therapy shopping to get my mind off of where I should be, what I should be doing or if I’m going to wake up and find that you’re leaving me” times. I’ve had only one of these moments since Denver started coming back around, but right now I’m okay. Denver’s not the jealous type, so he never asks about old boyfriends, especially not Radley. However, I did tell him the whole story once and he never brought it back up. Lucky for me, because if he did I’d probably wrap my heart in bubble wrap right before his eyes. The last time that happened it freaked him out a little bit.