Authors: J.V. Roberts
“I told you I was in the military.”
“No, why didn’t you tell me about this? About you and...Norton
and the plan?”
Katia steps from the
doorway. Her eyes are ice. It’s evident she loathes the very sight of me. “We tried, Tim. My brother tried. I tried. You just didn’t want to fucking listen.”
“You tried? Really? When did you try, Katia?”
Ruiz responds for her. “When didn’t we? The first thing you told us is how you wanted to kill the General. That hardly seemed the time to try to explain our involvement with him. So instead, we clued you in about Project Lockjaw. We tried to bring you into the fight against the government. All you did was talk about taking the information and how you wanted to destroy it. You had no interest in joining our cause. Hell, look at what you ended up doing. One of our guys wound up dead over your bullshit.”
“If you’d have just explained everything about you and Norton...”
“You’d have gone off crazier than you did, probably would have shot up the place and forced us to put you down. There was no talking to you. You had it set in your mind how things were and how you wanted them to go down. We couldn’t risk exposing that sort of information to you considering how you’d been acting. It’d have been too much risk. We didn’t need the hassle. The community already deals with enough shit as it is, we do our best to keep the drama to a minimum. So, this is what it took; a forced sit down.”
They’re right. If Ruiz had tried to explain to me that he was working with the General...with Norton...God only knows how I’d have responded. I’d probably be dead right now. “So...you already knew about Project Lockjaw before I gave you the drive?”
Ruiz teeters a hand back and forth. “Knew of it is a better way of putting it. We didn’t know the mechanics of it until we got that drive. We also didn’t have any hard proof to use against them either.”
I feel like a fool. All
along, the answers I’d been seeking were right there under my nose. All I had to do to find them was stop looking so far ahead and evaluate what I had in front of me. The guy had his hand out to me the whole time and I just kept slapping it away. He was simply giving me the opportunity to prove to him that I could be trusted.
I blew that one.
“Alright...so what about my ma? Huh? Where is she?”
Norton looks to Ruiz and Katia. They both look at me and back to him and nod.
“I think it’s cool,” Ruiz says. “Right, Tim, you’re cool?”
I’m not quite sure what that means, but I play along. “Yeah, I’m cool.”
“Bring her in,” Norton shouts through the door.
Norton, Katia, and Ruiz disappear to opposite sides
of the room as footsteps appear outside on the catwalk.
Faint. Then louder.
My heart rumbles in my chest.
She rounds the corner like something out of
a movie. Framed by the sunlight. Smiling. Tears already falling steady from her eyes. She looks better than I could have imagined. Clean. Wearing dark jeans and a tan pea coat. She opens her arms as she steps into the room, falling to her knees.
“Come
here, my babies,” she weeps.
Bethany and I race each other for her embrace. Thank
God, it’s big enough for the both of us. We just about knock her over as we fall against her. Her sobbing is interrupted by a small croak of laughter.
“
Oh, my God, I missed you guys so much,” she cries, kissing us both on the cheeks and foreheads, her hands stroking the backs of our heads. “Are you both okay?” She looks us over, rubbing our chests, trying to see us through the wave of emotion.
“Yeah,” Bethany sniffs.
“We’re good, Momma, we’re good. Are you okay?”
She nods
and smiles, her chin still crinkled up. “I’m great, baby. Really, I’m great. None of this is what you think...”
“I
know, Momma, they just filled us in.”
She attempts to rub her face d
ry with her hands. “Good, I’m glad. These people, Norton especially, they’ve been really good to me. I don’t want you thinking I’ve been mistreated or locked up or anything. They’ve saved my life a couple times over.”
I feel like I should be shaking the
guy’s hand or something.
Maybe later
, when my pride has died down a bit.
“Good, Momma, we were worried. We were looking for you for
a while.”
“We were so worried.” Bethany collapses
against her once more, shaking.
“
Shhh,” Momma kisses the top of her ear, “calm down now. The bad days are over. The good ones are just beginning. We’re back together again. Nothing is going to separate me from you two.”
Norton clears
his throat. “We’ve got a room set up for all three of you. Some food. Places for you to get cleaned up. Especially you, Tim, I’m guessing you’re going to want some new clothes?”
I’d all but forgotten about my blood stained garments.
Momma frowns. “Are you hurt?”
I shake my head. “Nah, it’s nothing to worry about. It’s so good to see you again.” She pulls me in
, close, showering me with more kisses.
It’s good to be hom
e.
24
“They didn’t treat me like a prisoner for long. Not after I told them our story.” Momma sits on the edge of her cot, not unlike the ones we’d had back at the apartment complex. The room is spacious, the walls are made of plywood, and it has its own sink and mirror. The only downside is that the bathroom is on the other side of the prefab door and is for community use. “After you guys escaped, Norton came back to that tent and told me we were evacuating the camp. That it’d been overrun. That was probably the scariest time for me. Rabid were everywhere when we were escaping. One was almost on top of me and if it hadn’t been for Norton, well, I wouldn’t be here with you guys.”
“If it hadn’t been for
Norton, you wouldn’t have been there in the first place to get attacked,” I say, spreading a sheet across the top of my cot.
“I know
, sweetie, but, you have to understand the situation. They thought...”
“I know what they thought; that we were working for the other guys. I get it. Really. Doesn’t mean I’ve got to like what happened.”
“Where’d you go after that?” Bethany is curled up behind Momma, her cheek resting against her lower back.
“Well, we came here, my darling.” Momma turns and strokes her face. “I’ve been in this room
, waiting for you guys to join me.”
I push the duffel bag under the cot and sit down, facing Momma. “How long have you known we
were alive?”
“They told me from the beginning. Said some people were after you and that they were protecting you from them.”
I groan and drop my head, cradling my face between my elbows.
“Oh, sweetie,” she reaches out and touches my knee with the tips of her fingers, “I know
you’re upset, but you understand why they couldn’t tell you what was going on, right? They didn’t know how you’d react. Norton, he told me that you were so angry. That you were acting out.”
I want to pull my hair out.
All this time, she was right here, alive and well, living in relative luxury.
“Yeah, Ma, I was a little angry.”
I meet her eyes. “I thought you were a prisoner. I didn’t know what they were doing to you. Ruiz just seemed like all he was interested in was strapping on a virtual suicide vest. If I’d just known...”
“What? If you’d
have known, then what? Would you have been willing to listen? Or, who knows...maybe things would have gone badly and I wouldn’t have you in front of me right now. You know, they were planning this meeting before you did what it is you did. They said that the community was attacked, so they needed to fix a few things first and make sure that the roads between us were clear, but if you’d have just waited a few more days, we’d be sitting here like we are right now. No one would have gotten hurt.”
Bethany sits up behind Momma, peeking out at me from over her left shoulder. “You know, Momma, they were
gonna exile us because of Tim.”
“Exile you? What did you do
, Tim?”
Bethany answers for me. “He got in a shoving match with Ruiz. They both pulled guns on each other.”
Momma just shakes her head. “Well, that’s not good, but Norton wouldn’t have let that happen. He gives the orders. He told me Ruiz is a little hot headed. He genuinely cares, but apparently, he can get a little irrational at times.”
I nod. “That he can.”
“Listen, sweetie, what’s important is that you’re here now. Leave all of that bad stuff in the past. This is a fresh start for us. A real fresh start.”
I lace my fingers through hers and force my best smile. “Yeah, I know. It’s just a lot to forget
. I may need a little bit of time.”
“Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Good, I wouldn’t let you anyway.” I kiss her cheek and stand.
The walls of our
room don’t reach the ceiling and there’s no roof. They go about halfway up and stop just above the catwalks that run in a perfect square around the perimeter of the warehouse. Really, our room is just a glorified privacy curtain. The noises and smells of the soldiers outside playing cards and smoking cigars still seep in over the top.
I walk over to the sink and turn the knob.
Running water.
“Wow, I’m impressed.”
Momma smiles as if she built it herself. “They’ve got a few engineers. Built a water pump and a purification system. They’re talking about wiring it up for hot water using solar panels, guess they have to find some first.”
“Hot water or not, this is a welcome sight. Have they had a guinea pig volunteer to drink it yet?”
Momma nods. “Yeah, it’s as pure as can be. I’ve been drinking it for weeks.”
I turn the knob on and off a few more times, marveling at the sight of clean water flowing readily before me.
There’s a brief knock at the door.
“Come in,” Momma chimes.
It’s Ruiz. “How’re ya’ll settling in?”
Bethany:
“Love it.”
Momma:
“We’re well, thank you for asking.”
I give him a thumbs up, still peering into the sink as the water swirls down the drain and out of sight.
“Listen, we need to borrow Tim for a few, if that’s okay?” Ruiz asks Momma, as if I have no say in the matter.
“
Is everything alright?” Momma sounds spooked. She clutches my hand, as if Ruiz is preparing to drag me out by force.
I turn from the sink, huffing, disinterested, my lips still plagued by the tiny cuts Ruiz had inflicted when he smashed me in the mouth a few hours ago. “You
gonna drag me out back and put a bullet in me now?”
“I already proposed that, Norton
said no.”
I’d laugh if I thought he were joking.
“We just want to bring you up to speed on a few things. It’s important. So, please, will you come with me?”
I look down at Momma and Bethany
. They look worried and curious. I grab both of their hands, giving each a lighthearted shake of reassurance. “I’ll be back in a few.”
25
The room is upstairs in a dark corner of the warehouse, boxed in by faded wooden walls. There’s a single door with a foggy pane of glass bearing streaks of green spray paint across the middle. One side of the room is stuffed with a row of console computers and panels of black dials and buttons. Two men in green fatigues sit behind the controls, their fingers moving busily as blacks boxes of green words and numbers appear and disappear on the screens before them. The hum and heat of laboring electronics makes the room a much less comfortable environment than the one I’d just come from.
Norton stands between the two men, his head moving back and forth, watching them work. Katia is here too
, standing off to the side and picking at her nails. She doesn’t look up as I enter. She knows I’m there. She just doesn’t care.
Norton turns. “Ah, Tim
, welcome to our little center of operations.”
“Impressive. Looks a little more involved than what was going on at the complex.”
“Yes, well that was important work and Bytes was a valuable asset.”
There’s that sting again. That weight in my belly. “I’m sorry...”
Norton waves me off. “No, stop it, no more apologizing. It was a tragic mistake, but a mistake all the same. Let’s leave it in the past.”
Katia makes a noise that sounds like disgust.
Norton leads me over to the computers and the men working the controls. “Do you know what we’re doing here?”
“I’m assuming you’re going to do the same thing Ruiz was working on. Get the drive online and beam it out to whoever may be listening.”
Norton nods without hesitation. “Precisely, and how do you feel about that?”
“You’ve been talking to Ruiz. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard about the things I’ve said.”
“Well, yes, I’ve heard Ruiz say it. But
you know how those things go, you’ve played the telephone game, words get twisted, intentions get skewed. I’d like to hear it from you.” He looks at me inquisitively, drumming his lips with an index finger.
I shrug. “It doesn’t really matter what I’ve got to say about it, with all due respect. Whether I like it or I don’t, you guys are
gonna do what you’re gonna do. That was made pretty damn clear to me.”
“Ah, yes, but, that’s the thing,” he turns for a brief second and leans between the two men, hitting a series of buttons
on the console, “Try it like that. Sorry. Distracted. But, yeah, that’s the thing, it does matter. What Ruiz relayed to me, the message I got, is that you’re worried for the lives of the people. You believe this could escalate this war and that the lives lost would cancel out the cause of justice, right?”
“Well...yeah, pretty much.”
“We’ve been talking about it,” Ruiz says from behind me, “and we feel the same way.”
I twist around, slightly astonished. “Wait, really? You agree with me?”
Ruiz crosses his arms and raises his eyebrows as if it’s no big thing. “Of course. Do you think we want to see a bunch of innocent people torn apart if this thing, God forbid, goes nuclear or we get invaded?”
“Well, it’s just that before...”
“Fuck before, I’ve got pride, you’ve got pride, we’ve had our differences, it’s over now. New day. New page. What we’re saying is that you have a point.”
“We
don’t want to see anyone hurt that doesn’t need to be. Women and children. The elderly. Young people like yourself, the future of our species. You don’t need to be in the middle of something like that.” Norton fixes me with a fatherly gaze.
“Well...I’m glad. I’m glad you guys are taking that stance.”
“That’s why we want you to take those people from the community and lead them out of harm’s way, out of the country.”
It takes me a minute to register the words,
out of the country.
“Whoa, hang on there just a second...”
“What? It was your idea, really, if you think about it.” Ruiz comes up beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“No, my idea was to not release that information. To destroy it
and just rebuild with what we’ve got.”
“What we’ve got,” Norton stifles a yawn, “is a country in shambles, with a majorit
y of its populace dead or dying and a corrupt government ready to resume control once the smoke has cleared. It’ll be a new cycle. Same shit. We’re not okay with that.”
I hold my hands up. “I’m not exactly hopping up and down at the prospect either. However, if it’s that or mushroom clouds sprouting over my city...”
“I doubt it’ll come to that,” Norton’s voice carries all the serenity of a man discussing the front page of the latest business journal.
“You doubt it? Well, that’s super. A fifty-fifty chance we’ll get turned into ashes.”
“Listen, kid,” Ruiz still has an arm around me, “we’re not going to argue it. The plan is going forward. We just want to get the innocents out of the way and we want you to help us do it.”
I jerk away from him. Hands on my head. Pissed about being backed into a corner. I should have smashed that goddamn thing when I had the chance. But, how was I supposed to know I wouldn’t need it to get Momma back? I didn’t. So now here I am. No good decisions. Just bad and worse.
“I thought you said we couldn’t move them.”
“We’re not moving them, you are,” Ruiz says, winking
at me.
“You know what I mean.”
“It’s not going to be easy. Maybe it works and maybe it doesn’t. Maybe people die. But, it’s risk versus reward. Norton and I feel, with what may be headed our way that this is the best option.”
I sigh. “
What do you need me to do?”
“That’s the spirit.” Norton pumps his fist in the air with a goofy smile on his lips. “Right down to business.”
“Mexico,” Ruiz says.
“Wait? What? I don’t know shit about Mexico.”
“You’re not going to be alone. I’ll send a couple of the guys with you. Mexico is close. You can hop the border and just keep on heading South. Get em’ all the way down to Costa Rica if you can. Just get em’ away from here.”
“Jesus,” I pinch my eyes shut. I feel a headache coming on.
“We’re going to stock you up with food supplies, weapons, vehicles. Some people are going to have to take turns walking on foot. It’ll be fine. You’ll scavenge supplies along the way. You can do this.”
Norton pats me on the chest. “Don’t stop till you get
to where the water is blue and the palm trees are swayin’.”
“Sounds swell,” I want to puke. We’re going to get fucking slaughtered. American Rabid, Hispanic Rabid, different skin color, but they bite just the same.
“One more thing,” Ruiz walks over to Katia. She’s still holding up the wall and picking her nails. “She’s going with you.”
“What the fuck?” She’s paying attention now.
“She doesn’t have to if she...”
“She does have
to; I’m sending her with you.”
“Oh no you’re not, I’m not going anywhere. I’m going to stay here and fight. You can’t just ship me off. Who the fuck do you think you are?” She shoves him and stomps to the other side of the room.
“I’m your older brother. I’m in charge of your safety. You’re going. This isn’t a discussion.”
“What, are you going to tie me up and drag
me?” She bares her teeth, fire burning in her eyes.
Norton steps between them, lifting a hand gently towards Katia. “This is for the best. We’ve talked about it, it’s been decided. They’ll need you more than we will. It’s not forever
, but for now, this is how it’s got to be.”
Katia knocks me aside with her shoulder and just about rips the door off its hinges as she charges out of the room. “Fucking b
ullshit!” she screams, her echo a thunderous ricochet.
“Well, that went splendidly.” Norton clasps his hands together and turns his attention back to the men working the computer consoles.
Ruiz puffs his cheeks at me. “Well, that could have gone a little better. Anyway, plan to move out tomorrow at first light. I’ve already got guys at the complex getting everyone prepared. They should be ready to go when you arrive.”
“Okay then,” I respond as I back out of the room, feeling more than a little uneasy about the impending journey.
***
“What don’t you understand about
fuck off
?” Katia turns on me, fists balled up.
I flinch, expecting a blow to the face
to match the one her brother had given me.
She puffs and lunges, but doesn’
t strike.
The guards standing sentry by the entrance watch us with mild amusement as Katia kicks rocks at me and waves her hands in my face.
“Just calm down, okay. Is it me, is that why you don’t want to go?”
“Is it you? Does everything have to be about you? You
self-involved little motherfucker. Perhaps I just want to stick around and help my brother. Did you consider that?”
“Well, I...”
“No, you didn’t. It’s gotta always be about Tim. The fucking drama with you man, it’s just non-stop. It’s bad enough that I’ve got to see you every day after what you did to Bytes. After betraying me. Betraying us. If it wasn’t for my brother and Norton, I’d have fucking gutted you. You remember what I said? I said if I ever saw you again that I’d fucking kill you! I meant it motherfucker, don’t think I was just talking shit or that I forgot what I said. It’s them; my brother and Norton. They’re the reason that you’re fucking breathing!” Her eyes are tearing up. Her shoulders jump up and down as she lunges back and forth. Looking as if she’s going to pounce at any second. “Just get the fuck away from me!”
“Do it then.”
“Do what?” She spasms and blinks, catching two stray tears with her wrist.
“Kill me. If that’
s how you feel, kill me.”
“Oh, you know what,” she throws her hands up and starts to stomp away again, “spare me the fucking theatrics.”
I jog after her and reach for her arm.
She senses
my impending grasp and turns, slapping me away and dropping into a combat stance. “Don’t you fucking touch me! You never get to touch me again!”
“I’m sorry, Katia. I’m sorry.”
“Fuck your sorry!” She’s not trying to catch the tears. She just lets them fall. It only seems to stoke the fire.
“I’m not asking you to be with me. I just...I don’t want to feel like you’re ready to kill me whenever I walk into a room.”
“I am ready to kill you whenever you walk into a room! You want me to pretend? Want me to throw on a fake smile? Do a little curtsey for you? Be like,
Oh, my God, Tim, I’m so fucking happy to see you I could fucking puke
? Something like that?”
“Jesus Christ...”
“Yeah, Jesus Christ! Jesus fucking Christ! You fucking asshole!” She punches me in the chest. Her left fist and then her right. “You promised me, remember? You fucking promised me!”
“I’m sorry...”
“Oh, my God, if you say you’re fucking sorry one more time...”
“Well, what the hell else do you want me to say?”
“Nothing! That’s the fucking point, I don’t want you to say shit to me, ever again! Whenever you say something, it’s bullshit. Fucking bullshit. Remember what you said, back at the complex?”
I just stare at her. My mind short circuited
when she punched me. I’m on autopilot at the moment.
“You don’t even
remember, do you?” She drops her guard, straightens up, and just shakes her head. She sniffs and smiles and stares off into the distance. “You promised you wouldn’t hurt me...promised you wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Do you still want to keep that promise, Tim?”
Didn’t see that question coming. “Yeah...of
course, I do.”
She’
s giving me a shot here.
Don’t screw it up.
“Good. Then leave me alone, because, honestly, you’re the worst possible thing that’s ever happened to me. You want to protect me, then turn around and go.”
As she disappears around the side of the building
, I struggle to make sense of what she said. It’s not that I don’t understand it. It’s processing it that’s the issue. It’s like the world’s worst stomach ache. Every word feels like a shard of glass scraping against the inside of my gut. Part of me wants to tuck tail and disappear into the city.
Fuck people. Fuck this newfound responsibility.
Just let me go.
Let me sink into the blackness.
I stumble back to the warehouse. Back to Momma and Bethany. Back to my journey.