The Rainbow Years (11 page)
Authors: Rita Bradshaw
‘It’s not . . . proper.’
‘Not proper?’ He laughed but again it wasn’t a real laugh. ‘For crying out loud, girl, it’s nineteen thirty-one not eighteen thirty-one.’
‘I can’t. I don’t want it.’ With her hand she tipped the paper and petticoat onto his lap and he had to make a quick movement to prevent the lot sliding onto the mucky floor of the tram.
For a moment there was silence and then he said quietly, ‘If you think I’ll let Bruce or any other lad have you, you’re wrong, Amy. You’re mine. Get that through your head because it’ll save a lot of trouble in the long run. I’ll give you time to get used to the idea, I’m in no rush, but you so much as look at another lad and you’ll live to regret it.’
She couldn’t believe he was saying these things. ‘I told you, I’m too young to have a lad.’ She raised defiant eyes to his.‘But even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t go with you, Perce Shawe. And you can’t tell me what to do, so think on. I’ll tell Aunt May what you’ve said.’
Perce was staring into her flushed face. As she held his gaze she didn’t know what to expect next, but it wasn’t the sudden relaxing of his countenance. ‘That’s one of the things I like about you,’ he said very softly. ‘You’ve got more spirit than plenty of lads I know. Firebrand, aren’t you, under that cool butter-wouldn’t-melt-in-my-mouth front.You’ll suit me. Oh aye, you’ll suit me very well.’
She turned from the hot light in his eyes, pretending to take an interest in the view outside the tram window. After a moment or two she heard the rustle of paper and then Perce moved slightly as he stuffed the petticoat back into his jacket pocket. Even the brief contact of his body against hers made her feel sick. It was in that second Amy admitted to herself she was terrified of the walk home once they had left the relative safety of the tram.
Contrary to what she’d expected, Perce made no effort to take her arm or touch her once they had alighted into the snow-filled night. It could be because they were still in the main thoroughfare, though. What would happen when they had to turn off into the back lane which led to their house? Could she insist they entered by the front door? But none of the family ever used it, everyone would think it strange. Her heart pounding, Amy told herself she didn’t care what Uncle Ronald or Aunt May or her cousins thought. She’d tell them why she hadn’t wanted to walk down the back lane with Perce, she’d tell them what he had said.
As though he had read her mind, Perce said quietly, ‘You try telling that lot indoors about tonight and I’ll deny it, you know that, don’t you? And guess who they’ll believe? Blood’s thicker than water, they’ll say. She’s like her mam but she’s started even earlier.’
‘Don’t you dare talk that way about my mam.’
They had reached the entrance to the back lane. Her heart pounding, Amy stopped in her tracks but to her mingled fright and surprise she found herself held in a grip she was powerless to fight against and manhandled the first few feet down the cut. As she struggled, Perce muttered, ‘Give over, I’m not going to hurt you. I told you, I want you to be my lass, all above board and done right. And for the record I don’t care about what your mam did.’
Jerking herself free, Amy nearly went headlong but for his hand coming out to save her, but again she shook it off. For the first time she was truly aware of the power in the male body in front of her; she’d felt like a rag doll in his grasp. The frozen snow beneath her feet with its deceptive covering of fresh flakes was lethal and she was finding it difficult to stay on her feet but she was too panic-stricken to pick her way. How she got to their backyard without breaking her neck she didn’t know, especially with the dark night and whirling snow pressing down on her, but as her gloved fingers fumbled with the latch to the gate, Perce’s hand came down on hers.
‘Remember what I said,’ he said quietly, bending down so his mouth was close to her face. ‘I’ll behave meself for the present and be patient but don’t you think you can mess me about.’
She remained quite still but the moment his hand lifted she was through the gate and into the backyard. Then she was opening the back door and stepping into the relative warmth of the small scullery. Instead of taking off her outdoor clothes and making sure her boots were clean as every member of the family had been drilled to do by May, she almost pushed open the kitchen door. It was the sound of her grandfather’s voice that checked her. Of course, it was a Saturday night. The panic of the last few minutes had taken it out of her head. Her granda always came back with Ronald and the lads and Mr O’Leary for a bite after football on a Saturday afternoon.
Perce was in the scullery now too, and with feverish haste Amy pulled off her gloves and stuffed them in the pockets of her coat before divesting herself of her coat, hat and scarf and hanging them on a peg. Perce was busy scraping the snow off his boots on the cord mat just inside the back door but she was aware he was looking at her all the time he did so.
Amy glanced at him in spite of herself.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said immediately. ‘I didn’t want to frighten you, just to make you understand. I can’t stand you looking at other lads, that’s the way I feel. It . . . it does something to me.’
His voice was low but the look in his eyes brought panic bubbling again. ‘You’re like a brother,’ she said again, willing him to understand. ‘It would be wrong.’
‘We’re cousins, just cousins, and it wouldn’t be wrong. Even if it was, I wouldn’t care, the way I feel about you, but it wouldn’t anyway. And I’ve said I’ll wait till you’re ready. I can’t say fairer than that. Don’t . . . don’t be mad at me.’
This was worse than him manhandling her. She looked away from the puppy-dog pleading in his eyes and swallowed hard. But she couldn’t pretend. ‘I couldn’t like you in that way so it’s no use you waiting,’ she said, and opened the door of the kitchen before he could stop her.
Mr O’Leary, her granda, Aunt May, Uncle Ronald and Bruce were still sitting at the remains of the evening meal, the younger children having gone through to the sitting room, judging from the sounds emanating from that direction. Her uncle smiled at her but it was only Bruce who said hello. She saw his eyes narrow as Perce followed her into the kitchen and he said, ‘I thought you weren’t going to be home till late? Business with Stan, wasn’t it?’
‘Turned out it wasn’t worth missing the second half for.’ Perce pushed past Amy, clapping both his grandfathers on their backs as he said, ‘All right then?’ before adding casually to his mother, ‘Kitty and Amy were at the tram stop and Kitty asked if I’d bring Amy home to save her the journey in this weather.’
‘Frank Kirby says the law was nosing about asking questions about Stan recently.’ Bruce hadn’t taken his eyes off his brother.
‘Frank Kirby’s nowt but a gossipy old woman.’
‘And Stan’s a villain and you know it.’
Wilbur cut across what was fast becoming an argument between his grandsons, his cold eyes on Amy. ‘Some folk take advantage of any kindness they’re shown. Fine state of affairs when your aunt has to struggle to dish up by herself ’cos you’re off gallivanting. Don’t you think so, Terence?’
‘Aye, I do an’ all, Wilbur.’
Normally Amy would have let the remark go unchallenged. She was used to both men’s censure. But tonight with her nerves as taut as piano wire, the unfair criticism caught her on the raw. She stared into the two men’s faces, one handsome and the other anything but, but both alike in their dislike of her. ‘Eva and Harriet were here, weren’t they?’ she said sharply. ‘As far as I know they haven’t lost the use of their hands.’
There was a moment of stunned silence followed by several condemning voices.
‘Why, you cheeky little madam!’ This was from her aunt.
‘How dare you!’ A boom from Mr O’Leary.
‘This is what comes of letting her fraternise with that rabble next door to me.’ Wilbur had actually risen from his seat, his face thunderous. Ronald and Bruce stood too, the former uncertainly as though he wasn’t sure what to do next but Bruce moved swiftly to stand in front of Amy, shielding her from their grandfather. Bruce wasn’t as heavily built as Perce, his height had a leanness to it, but Amy was glad of her cousin’s protection when Wilbur said, ‘She needs the belt, Ronald, same as her mother. It’s the only thing some females understand. If you can’t bring yourself to do it, I can.’
Even May looked askance at this. ‘I don’t think so, Da,’ she said, ‘but she’ll be punished, rest assured of that. Getting a mite too big for our boots, aren’t we, madam?’ she added directly to Amy. ‘I think someone needs taking down a peg or two.’
‘I think it might be a good idea for you to have a word with that Kitty, Wilbur, and tell her Amy won’t be going out on a Saturday for a month or two, not till she can control her tongue.’ Terence O’Leary didn’t take his eyes off Amy as he spoke.
Amy stared at May’s father. Not seeing Kitty would mean not seeing her grandma and she couldn’t bear that, and she knew her grandma looked forward to the time they spent together all week. She was always saying so. ‘That’s not fair,’ she burst out.
‘You to talk of fairness, you ungrateful mongrel.’ Wilbur was fairly spitting out the words. ‘Your aunt and uncle have provided a roof over your head for the last umpteen years and this is all the thanks they get. I knew it’d end up like this. You’re your mother all over, m’girl. That’s the trouble.’
Terence O’Leary nodded slowly. ‘You’re right, Wilbur.’
‘I’m glad he’s right.’ Amy’s voice was very loud but shaky. ‘I want to be like my mam, so there.’
‘Glad, are you?’Wilbur snorted contemptuously. ‘Well, there you have it, straight out of the horse’s mouth, Terence.’
‘Hang on a minute, you two.’ Ronald had gone white; they were all shaken by the scene which had erupted with such suddenness, all except the two older men. ‘She’s only a bairn, it’s natural she’d stick up for her mam. And our Bess shouldn’t have done what she did, none of us would say different, but the fella was more to blame than her in my book. Taking down a bit lass when he had a wife and family tucked away was a dirty trick. It’d have been bad enough if the girl was a rum ’un, but our Bess - pure, untouched.’
‘You’re sure about that, are you? That she was pure?’
‘
Da
.’
Da
.’
‘Oh, all right, all right.’ Wilbur flapped his hand. It was clear he and Terence had been surprised by Ronald’s championing of first Amy and then Bess. Surprised and somewhat annoyed. ‘I don’t want to fall out with you, Ronald, but I just hope you and May don’t live to regret taking her in, that’s all. You’ve heard the old adage about biting the hand that feeds you.’
‘Da.’ The admonition was weary now.
‘Aye, well, I’ve had my say.’ Wilbur glanced at May. ‘I’ll have me coat and cap, lass, if it’s not too much trouble.’
‘Me an’ all,’ said Terence with a sour look at Ronald.
‘You’re not both going?’ May protested. ‘Not yet.’
Their sullen nods sent May to fetch the jackets and caps from their pegs in the scullery after a scathing glance at Amy.
Amy’s cheeks were burning and her stomach was churning, and when the two men left without another word to anyone and by the front door - not the back which was customary for them to use - the seriousness of the row was magnified tenfold.
May saw them out and after a few mumbled words in the hall the front door opened and closed and then she was back in the kitchen. ‘I hope you’re satisfied with all the trouble you’ve caused,’ she snapped at Amy. ‘Upsetting everyone like this.’
‘Hey, steady on, Mam.’ Bruce’s voice was mild. ‘It wasn’t really Amy’s fault.They’re always going for her for no reason.’ Usually he kept out of any altercations but today Bruce found he was feeling sorry for his cousin. Amy had looked so unhappy when she’d walked in, so fed up, and it was true what he’d said about his grandas. Eva and Harriet could get away with murder but Amy only had to breathe for the two men to be down on her like a ton of bricks. He wondered why it had never really registered on him before what a rough deal she had all round. He looked his mother full in the face as he added, ‘And you know how she likes to see Gran Shawe and Gran likes to see Amy.’
‘Oh, I see. I’m to blame then, am I?’ May glared at her son. ‘Nice Saturday this is.’ She stalked out of the room, her footsteps going up the stairs. Bruce stared helplessly at his father who shrugged his shoulders in irritation at his wife before going after her, muttering under his breath as he did so.
Bruce rubbed his hand across his face before glancing at his cousin. She was standing still and looked very white, her lips trembling, and the feeling of pity intensified. She was just a bairn and yet his grandas talked to her as though she was muck under their boots most of the time. It wasn’t right and it had gone on long enough. No doubt he and his da would get it in the neck from his mam but that didn’t matter. He put his arm round Amy’s shoulders. ‘I meant what I said, lass. This wasn’t your fault. They always have to start over something, that’s the way they are.’ His voice gruff, he added, ‘Don’t let the old miseries get to you, lass. That’s what they want. I know I shouldn’t say it but they’re bullies, the pair of them. Come on, Amy, dry your eyes and forget about them. They’re not worth it.’
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