The Real Katie Lavender (34 page)

Katie had been amazed at the nerve of some of the visitors to the garden. As if they had a God-given right to do so, they had taken cuttings and helped themselves to sprigs of herbs; one man had even snapped off a rose to make a buttonhole for himself and had brazenly strolled around the garden with it openly on show on his jacket lapel. Lloyd had told her of far worse things that had gone on in previous years, such as a woman who he had discovered actually digging up a particularly rare species of plant. When he had asked her what she was doing, she had become quite shirty and told him to mind his own business. This, Lloyd had explained, was why help was always required on the open days, not only to answer queries visitors might have about the plants, but to keep an eye on the more light-fingered punters.

Seeing Pen take out a ball of green twine and a penknife from her pocket, Katie watched her carefully negotiate her way to the back of one of the borders and get to work on supporting the slender stalk of a hollyhock that was almost nine feet tall and drooping with the weight of so many showy, saucer-sized pink flowers. She then turned her attention to a neighbouring delphinium and cut off another length of twine. Watching her, Katie wondered what she would do in the coming days and weeks, now that the open weekend was over, now that she would have nothing into which she could pour all her energy and thoughts, when finally she would be alone with only her grief to face. Katie knew that feeling all too well. To avoid it after Mum’s death, she had thrown herself headlong into her relationship with Ian.

Moving away from the window, she finished getting dressed for her evening out with Stirling. It would be the first time they spent any time alone together, and she was part looking forward to it and part dreading it. What if they ran out of things to talk about? What if she suddenly decided she didn’t like him? Or if he didn’t like her?

There was a knock at the door, followed by: ‘Katie?’

It was Lloyd.

She went to open it. ‘How do I look?’ she asked him. ‘Smart enough for an evening with Stirling?’

He stood in the doorway, rested a shoulder against the frame and scrutinized her from head to toe. ‘Honest opinion?’ he said.

She nodded, suddenly doubting her choice of dress. In Brighton and London, she wouldn’t think twice about her black and white polka-dot miniskirt and lacy black top with its puff sleeves, but maybe here in Henley, especially if Stirling was taking her somewhere chi-chi and upmarket, her outfit might not pass muster. She waited for Lloyd’s verdict.

‘You’ve got legs,’ he said.

‘Well
durr
, so have you.’

He smiled. ‘Not like yours I haven’t. How come I haven’t seen them before?’

‘Never mind my legs, what about the rest of me?’

He pushed himself away from the door frame and stepped into the room. ‘The rest of you looks amazing. I like what you’ve done to your hair.’

He’d never commented on her appearance before, and out of the blue she felt inexplicably shy. ‘Zac taught me how to do it,’ she said, putting a hand self-consciously to her walnut-whip hairdo, as she called it.

‘You smell nice, too.’

‘Thank you.’

‘If I promise not to muss up your hair and make-up, can I kiss you?’

She smiled and nodded.

He deftly closed the door behind him with his foot and dipping his head, he grazed his lips against hers with a feather-light caress, no other part of him touching her.

‘I can redo the lip gloss,’ she said, putting the palms of her hands against his chest and wanting more. He stared back at her, and losing herself in the mesmerising soft blue of his eyes, she decided to take Tess’s advice and stop overanalysing the situation. Surely all that mattered was what they felt for each other? If it didn’t work out, they’d just have to find a way to deal with it.

‘I wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble,’ he said.

‘It’s no trouble.’

‘Well, if you’re sure.’

Their arms wrapped around each other, they kissed long and hard.

‘I wish it was me taking you out this evening,’ he said a little breathlessly when they pulled apart. ‘Which unfortunately reminds me, I was sent up to tell you that Stirling’s here, and he has a surprise for you.’

‘This was a lovely idea of yours,’ Katie said after they’d waved goodbye to Lloyd and Pen on the jetty and they were on their way.

‘I thought you might like to see the river from a different vantage point,’ Stirling replied. ‘Being on the water often helps me to get things into perspective.’

‘In what way?’

‘I’m reminded that nature always has the upper hand and the last word, and that whatever seems vitally important today probably won’t matter a jot tomorrow.’

‘That’s what I feel when I’m at home and I look at the sea.’

‘Would you like a go at steering the boat?’

Sitting alongside him in a comfortable Lloyd Loom chair, she shook her head. ‘Later perhaps. For now I’m happy to enjoy the ride.’

‘In that case, we’ll push on a little further and then we’ll stop for something to eat. I’ve brought a picnic. Is that all right with you?’

‘More than fine.’

‘And if you get cold, you can have my sweater. Just say the word. I want the evening to be perfect for you.’

She smiled happily. ‘It already is.’

He smiled back at her. ‘Excellent. Now if you lift the lid on that box to your left, you’ll find a bottle of wine and two glasses. There’s a bottle opener in there too. Would it be less than chivalrous to ask if you could do the honours?’

‘It would be an insult not to ask me.’

‘I thought as much.’

‘I happen to be an expert at pulling corks, as a result of working in a bar whilst I was at university.’

‘Where did you study?’

‘At Warwick. I did media studies.’

‘And did you enjoy it?’

‘I loved it, and don’t laugh, but naively I believed I was going to become an award-winning documentary-maker and change the world.’

‘Nothing to laugh at in that. We all dream of making an impact on the world at that age. So what happened when you graduated?’

She eased the cork out of the bottle on her lap and gave him a brief run-down on her working career so far, culminating in her stagnating at Stella Media. Cringing, she told him about some of the programmes she’d been associated with. She laughed when he apologized for not having watched any of them. ‘You have absolutely nothing to apologize for,’ she said.

His expression changed and he gave her a deeply troubled look. ‘But I do, don’t I? I have so much to be sorry for. I should have tried harder to persuade your mother to allow me to know you when you were growing up.’

Katie shook her head. ‘I’ve given the matter a lot of thought this weekend, and I don’t think you could, or should, have done anything differently. The way things were, it meant that Dad could be a real father to me. If you’d been a part of our lives, he might not have been able to be what he wanted to be to me. I’ve decided that Mum must have known that, which was why she was so firm with you. She knew what was important to Dad.’ Katie passed Stirling a glass of wine. ‘But what I don’t understand is why Mum had the affair with you in the first place. Was she unhappy when you two met? And if so,
why
was she unhappy?’

‘Oh no, she wasn’t unhappy. Quite the reverse. It was her happy, carefree nature that attracted me to her. She was like the sun bursting through the clouds.’ He smiled as if recalling the memory. ‘She always made me feel better about life. I think it was her joyful spontaneity that I loved most about her. She could make me laugh over the slightest thing. She was so different to Gina. Gina has always taken life very seriously. I don’t mean that as a criticism, it’s just the way she is.’

‘But I still don’t understand why she had the affair with you. If she was happy with Dad, why look elsewhere?’

Steering the boat with one hand, Stirling stared ahead. It was a few moments before he spoke. ‘I think what it comes down to is that she loved your father, but wasn’t
in
love with him. There’s a wealth of difference between the two things, Katie.’

‘I know. What about you and Gina?’

He sighed. ‘It was the same. I loved her but I never felt for her what I experienced with Fay.’

‘Do you think it would have lasted between you and Mum if things had been different?’

‘If we’d met each other before meeting Desmond and Gina?’

‘Yes.’

He swallowed, and once again his expression turned serious. ‘I think we could have been extraordinarily happy together.’

Seeing how sad he looked, and wanting to lighten the mood, Katie said, ‘Mum would have driven you crazy with her untidiness.’

He smiled faintly. ‘And you know what, I’d have forgiven her for it. That’s what happens when you really love a person: forgiveness comes easily. Perhaps that’s why Desmond was able to put the affair behind them.’

‘And what about you and Gina? Does she love you enough to forgive you for me?’

‘That,’ he said with great feeling, ‘is the million-dollar question. But I fear not.’

A much larger boat came into view in front of them, and after it had passed by – causing the
Lady Cecily
to bob in its wake – Stirling turned and faced Katie. He raised his glass of wine and said, ‘May I suggest a toast? To happier times ahead for us both, and to getting to know each other a lot better. If that doesn’t sound too presumptuous.’

She tapped her glass lightly against his. ‘Why presumptuous?’

‘You might not want to get to know me any better. You might think you’ve seen enough.’

‘And why would I think that?’

‘Because you probably thought your own life was complicated enough as it was without getting involved with us Nightingales. You’re not seeing us at our best.’

‘I’d rather get to know the real you, the honest you. I’m not interested in a Sunday-best version.’

He laughed. ‘I’m not sure I have a best version of me.’

‘Well, I like the version I’m seeing now; relaxed and candid.’

‘Maybe it’s being round you. Perhaps you have this effect on people. How else do you explain why Pen can’t speak highly enough of you and my mother adores you? And if I’m not overstepping the mark, I’d say that Lloyd is more than a little taken with you.’

She turned her head slightly so he couldn’t see the colour rising to her cheeks. ‘Really?’ she said, looking intently at the large and fabulously impressive house they were passing. ‘What makes you think that?’

‘Oh, you know, little things. That and the fact that Pen is convinced there’s something going on between the two of you. And trust me, Pen never gets anything wrong when it comes to Lloyd.’

She returned her gaze to Stirling’s face. ‘Does she disapprove? Is it the cousin situation? Even though we’re not blood cousins?’

‘Not at all. But I have to confess to feeling a bit confused myself. And I know I have no real right to feel this way, but I have this strong need to protect you, just as I did with Scarlet. I feel compelled to ward off any unsuitable suitors. It’s called being a father.’

‘Does that mean you class Lloyd as unsuitable?’

‘No. He’s eminently suitable. I’ve known him all his life and I’d go so far as to say you couldn’t find anyone better than my nephew.’

‘And yet you still feel the need to protect me from him? That’s silly.’

‘Now that I’ve said it aloud, I agree. In my head, it didn’t sound so stupid.’ He put his wine glass down on a small shelf in front of him, seeming suddenly to apply all his concentration – lips pursed, his brow creased with a frown – to the task of navigating the curve in the river. She watched him for a few minutes out of the corner of her eye, then, sensing he needed a moment to think, she sipped her wine and gave her attention to the beautiful houses they were passing. With their trim lawns coming right to the water’s edge, the graceful willow trees turned golden by the evening sun, Katie was awed by the loveliness of it all. It was so tangibly peaceful, so calming. There was a feeling of space, yet at the same time a comfortable sense of containment. Just as tangible, however, was the abundant air of wealth and privilege these palatial riverside homes were giving off.

It was all very different to how she had grown up. Whilst her parents had managed to make a relatively good and steady living out of the antiquarian bookshop they’d run, they had lived modestly. They had been a one-car family, and holidays had been limited to one a year, though that had had more to do with Dad not wanting to close the shop for more than a couple of weeks. What holidays they did take had usually been carefully planned driving tours through France, either staying in reasonably priced hotels or on campsites. Being an only child, Katie had always preferred the campsites, because there were other children to make friends with.

They passed an elderly man walking a black Labrador along the towpath, and he raised his stick at them. ‘Nice evening,’ he called out.

‘It certainly is,’ replied Stirling pleasantly.

When the man and his dog were distant figures behind them, Stirling said, ‘Maybe I’m jealous. Maybe the truth is I don’t want Lloyd to take you away from me before I’ve had a chance to get to know you properly.’

Touched that he should feel this way and be so open with her, Katie put a hand on his arm. ‘That won’t happen. I promise you. But in return for that promise,’ she said, seizing the opportunity, ‘I want you to do something for me.’

‘Go on.’

‘I want you to take back the money that’s in that trust fund. I can’t possibly accept it.’

He shook his head. ‘No, Katie. It’s yours.’

‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘My mind is made up. I don’t want it.’

Cecily was furious with Gina. She couldn’t believe the intransigence of the silly woman. Couldn’t she see the harm she was causing the family?

It had only been by chance that she had learnt of the ultimatum Gina had given Stirling. Katie had come to say goodbye to her before returning to Brighton after the Bank Holiday weekend and had mentioned something about Stirling having gone missing on the Sunday and not knowing why. She’d said that she had asked him what had happened to him, but he’d been evasive and changed the subject. Knowing that Stirling never let people down, not without good reason, Cecily had felt uneasy and so had phoned him at work and asked him to come and see her that evening. The moment he’d arrived, she had known by the strain in his face that she had done the right thing, and without preamble she had asked him what was going on, and told him that he wasn’t to think of fobbing her off with some half-baked lie. He’d then told her what Gina had said, that he had to choose between his family and Katie; he couldn’t have both. Cecily’s heart had gone out to him.