The Real Katie Lavender (48 page)

He took a deep breath. ‘There’s more I have to tell you,’ he said to the group. ‘Gina, this is going to hurt you far more than Katie’s appearance in our lives, and it would be easier and perhaps kinder to you if I kept quiet about it, but I can’t. Selfishly, I’m putting my feelings before anyone else’s, because if I don’t, the alternative is too awful to contemplate. The thing is, I—’

‘Dad, don’t! You don’t have to do this.’

Stirling looked at his son. ‘Oh, but Rosco, I do. I know we had a deal, but the price is too high. To see it through would take what scrap of respect I still have for myself and crush it completely.’

He went over to his wife and put a hand on her arm. ‘I’m sorry, Gina, but I made the same mistake again recently that I did thirty years ago. I stupidly slept with another woman. And not just any woman; it was Simone Montrose.’

‘Who the devil is—’

‘She was my brother’s mistress,’ Stirling said with weary patience to Charlie’s father.

‘Why?’ whispered Gina. ‘How . . . how could you?’

He shook his head slowly. ‘I don’t know. I really don’t know. When you gave me your ultimatum about Katie, I drove around on my own then went to see Simone, and . . . it just happened. I never intended it to happen. But it did. And not just once. It’s over now. Now I have nothing left to hide from you.’

Her lips trembling and her face deathly white and wreathed with yet more pain and shock, Gina said, ‘And you knew, Rosco? You knew and kept it from me.’

‘I didn’t want you to be hurt, Mum.’

‘So you made a trade-off?’ Lloyd said quietly. ‘Katie in exchange for your silence on your father’s affair with Simone?’

‘I wanted to keep the family together,’ Rosco said. ‘And if you hadn’t got involved with that bloody girl, it would have worked.’ He glanced at Laura, who was staring hard at him. ‘I did nothing wrong,’ he said. ‘Nothing. It was for the good of the family.’

Stirling heard the lack of conviction in his son’s voice and felt a pang of sympathy for him. ‘I don’t blame you for what you did, Rosco,’ he murmured, ‘but the truth is, I think we’ve all said and done something wrong. Lloyd,’ he went on, ‘please tell Katie that whenever she wants to, she can get in touch with me. That’s if she still wants to. And . . . and you did the right thing in coming here. Don’t ever think otherwise, no matter what transpires. Your father would have been proud of you.’

Lloyd got in his car and drove to the end of the drive. The engine idling, he hesitated there. Home, or go and see his mother. With all this rain, she was probably at a loose end and might appreciate some company.

Yes, he would go and see her and tell her first-hand everything that had happened, rather than her hear it from somebody else.

Your father would have been proud of you
.

Would he?

Lloyd wasn’t so sure. If he hadn’t gone to Willow Bank, would Stirling have made that confession?

And just what would his father have thought of Stirling sleeping with Simone?

Stupid question. It would never have happened if his father hadn’t died. But hypothetically, what would he have thought? Would he have gone looking for a punch-up with Stirling?

No matter what transpires
.

He couldn’t begin to think what the fallout would be. Could Gina put a second bombshell behind her?

More important than anything, could he convince Katie that she should continue seeing him? Would she want anything to do with the family? Not if she had any sense, he thought gloomily.

He turned left for The Meadows.

There was no sign of his mother’s car, but there was a red two-seater Mazda in front of the garage, which he didn’t recognize.

He went round to the back of the house, and as he always did, he knocked on the door. He had his own key but he refused to use it. He’d told his parents it didn’t feel right letting himself in once he’d left home. It was a respect thing.

The door opened, and as if he hadn’t had enough shocks that day, he found himself staring into the face of Simone Montrose.

‘Don’t look so worried, Lloyd.’

‘Worried doesn’t come close, Mum. Are you sure you’re all right?’

‘I’ll survive,’ Pen said. ‘Now sit down and tell me what you know.’

He did as she said. ‘All I know is that Simone found you in the churchyard in a terrible state and brought you back here and put you to bed.’

‘Yes, she’s been very kind. And I suppose you think that’s a ridiculous thing for me to say, because by rights I should hate her. But I don’t.’

He gave her one of his soft smiles. ‘You’re not the hating kind, Mum.’

‘Don’t you believe it. I came close to it in the churchyard.’ She told him about going to church that morning, and then about the little lad’s grave and what the teenage boys, who only earlier had been acting out that awful play, had done to it. She could feel her eyes filling and her throat tightening as she remembered how she’d reacted. ‘It was terrible, Lloyd. I went berserk at them. I felt such a surge of uncontrollable violence. What really frightens me is that if they hadn’t run off, I might have hurt them. I was so angry. I mean
really
angry. I’ve never experienced such a fury before. It makes me shake to think about it. Look.’ She held out her wavering hands.

Lloyd wrapped his own around them. ‘It’s all part of grieving for Dad. The way he died was a massive shock. It’s going to take time for you, for us both, to get over it fully. If we ever do.’ He inclined his head towards the door. ‘And what about Simone? What was she doing at St Oswald’s?’

‘What do you think? She’d gone to see Neil’s grave. You’re giving me that look again.’

‘What look?’

‘The how-can-I-be-so-reasonable look.’

‘No I wasn’t. But since you mention it, you are being extraordinarily reasonable. I don’t think many widows would be as generous as you.’

Pen let go of his hands and shrugged. ‘I feel sorry for her. I believe she’s lonely. I certainly don’t think she deserves our animosity. Forget about all the rights and wrongs of it, the truth is, she loved your father and doesn’t know how to go on without him. I can empathize with that. You’re giving me another of your looks.’

‘Which one is it this time?’

‘The there’s-something-I-need-to-know look.’

‘You’re incredible.’

She shook her head. ‘No I’m not, I just know you too well. What’s wrong? What are you hiding from me?’

‘It can wait. For now, I’m more concerned about you resting. You look tired.’

‘Tell me, Lloyd. Or I’ll only worry. And then I won’t be able to rest. By the way, where’s Katie? Is she downstairs?’

He turned his head, towards the window, where the afternoon light was fading fast. ‘She’s gone,’ he said.

‘Gone where? Back to Brighton?’

He returned his gaze to hers. ‘Gone for good.’

‘Now I
am
worried. What’s been going on? Have you argued?’

‘I’m not sure where to begin. One way or another, it’s been a hell of a weekend.’

‘For heaven’s sake, Katie, you really don’t expect me to agree with you, do you?’

‘But it’s true, I’m a malign force when it comes to that family. That’s why I have to stay away.’

‘Now you’re exaggerating. I’ll stand for most things, but not hyperbole.’

‘Well bully for you!’

‘Don’t go taking it out on me.’

‘I don’t see anyone else round here who’s winding me up, so hey, I guess it must be you who’s been touched by the Big Mouth Genie.’

‘Jog on, girlfriend!’

Katie could count on one hand how many times she and Tess had argued over the years, and the few times it had happened had always been over something trivial, such as her cream leather jacket, which Tess had managed to ruin by spilling red wine over it, or Tess’s favourite Ugg boots, that Katie had left out in the rain. But this was different. This really mattered. And Katie couldn’t find it within her to climb down, for no other reason than she was right and Tess was wrong.

In the continuing silence – broken only by the sound of Ben hiding in the sitting room watching the telly – Tess suddenly grinned. ‘Is this when we have fierce make-up sex?’ she said.

In spite of everything, Katie smiled as well. ‘Only if you admit that I’ve done the right thing.’

‘Not gonna happen. And I’m not going to apologize for talking to Lloyd.’

‘But you and Zac have ruined everything by talking to him.’

‘We’ve been over this I don’t know how many times already. Talking to Lloyd was inevitable. And you’ll never convince me that it was fair of you to walk away from him without any kind of an explanation. Yes, I’m all too aware that you knew you wouldn’t be able to go through with it if you’d had to look him in the eye, but it still doesn’t make it right. And so what if he has gone haring off to Henley at top speed to have it out with Stirling? Another inevitability. You can’t control other people’s behaviour. And I hate to break it to you, you’re not in charge of the universe. Not yet, at any rate.’

‘Speech over?’

‘For now. But start whingeing and I’ll come right back at you with some more.’

Katie gaped. ‘Whingeing? You think I’m whingeing?’

‘Yeah. Lots. Big-time.’

‘That’s so unfair.’

‘So is what you did to Lloyd.’

‘Wow! When did Lloyd get to replace me in your affections? When did you switch allegiance?’

‘Don’t be an idiot. I just feel for the poor guy. And what does it tell you about him that he went looking for you in Brighton at crazy-o’clock this morning?’

Katie crossed her arms defensively. ‘It doesn’t matter what he feels for me; I’m looking long-term. It won’t ever work between us. Me being with him will ostracize him, it’ll divide his family and I won’t be responsible for people taking sides. Too many would get caught in the crossfire.’

‘Romeo and Juliet but without the tights and swordfights, eh?’

‘Don’t joke about it.’

‘I’m sorry. I just think you’re not the one to solve the problem. That wretched family has to do that. They need to grow up and sort themselves out.’

‘Ever thought that maybe I don’t want to be a part of that wretched family, as you so aptly describe it? Why put myself through the bother? They’re never going to accept me, so why give them the chance to keep ramming it down my throat?’

‘You didn’t think it was such a bad thing when you were all loved-up and getting ready to stay with Lloyd. I distinctly recall you on the phone sounding like you were on cloud nine.’

‘I wasn’t thinking it through. I’d got caught up in the madness. It’s been a summer of high emotion, what with finding out Dad wasn’t really my father and meeting Stirling and then Lloyd. And don’t forget my doubts about getting involved with Lloyd in the first place.’

‘The cousin thing?’

‘No. That whilst he was still grieving for his father, a relationship wasn’t a good idea. I don’t want him to do to me what I did to Ian.’

‘Again, you’re second-guessing him.’

Tired of justifying herself, Katie turned away and looked out of the window at the heavy rain. It was a horribly dismal day. The view from Tess and Ben’s second-floor flat – where she used to live – was never good, even on a sunny day, but today it had never looked more depressing. Down on the rubbish-strewn street, cars swished by, their headlights on, although it was only the middle of the afternoon.

She suddenly wanted to be home in Brighton, to hear the gulls screeching, to go for a walk on the beach, to trudge over the shingle and feel the wind snatching at her hair.

Still looking out of the window, she said, ‘Summer’s over, it’s time to get back to reality. I have to chalk Lloyd up as nothing more than a holiday fling.’

She turned round and faced her friend. ‘And that’s my final and absolutely definitive word on the subject. From now on, I’m going to put all my energy into carving out a new career for myself.’

After everything that Lloyd had told her – about Katie, his going to Brighton and then what had happened at Willow Bank – Pen couldn’t remain in bed in a self-absorbed state of inertia a moment longer, despite Lloyd making her promise she would stay put and rest.

Instead, she got dressed and went downstairs. She was surprised to find Simone standing at the Rayburn; she had expected her to leave once Lloyd got here. ‘Where’s Lloyd?’ Pen asked.

‘He’s gone to fetch your car from St Oswald’s, I offered to drive him so he wouldn’t get wet, but he insisted the walk would do him good.’

‘Did he indeed?’

‘I thought you might be hungry,’ Simone said, looking at the pan she was stirring, ‘I found some carrot and lentil soup in the cupboard.’

‘That’s very kind of you. Now what’s all this I hear about you and Stirling?’

The other woman’s jaw dropped. She stopped stirring the soup. ‘Oh my God, how do you know about that?’

‘I’m afraid everyone knows about it. Well, that’s not entirely true, but Stirling’s wife and children know. Lloyd has just told me.’

‘But how? How do they know?’

‘Stirling made a big announcement of it today.’

‘Why? Why would he do that? Oh my God, he’s not thinking of leaving his wife, is he?’

‘Is that what you want?’

‘No!’

Pen went over to the cooker. She took the spoon out of Simone’s hand. ‘I think I’d better take over now, don’t you?’ She gave the pan a stir, could feel where the soup had just started to stick to the bottom of it. To see better, she switched on the overhead alcove light, and that was when she noticed the donkey. He looked a lot better than when she had last seen him – his legs and tail were properly attached, and he was cleaner.

Simone said, ‘Lloyd found your sewing box for me and I had a go at mending the donkey. I gave him a wash, too. I thought the Rayburn was the best place for him to dry out.’

Pen had to take a moment to compose herself. So silly that a toy should upset her. ‘Thank you,’ she said at last. ‘That was a very thoughtful thing to do. I’ll take him back to St Oswald’s later. When it’s stopped raining. Hopefully he won’t have been missed.’

‘I’m afraid the rest of the toys are beyond repair. Perhaps we could find some replacements.’